Why does it keep happening?

[CelticMoon]

I was so sure this time would be ok, I had such a good feeling, everyone did . But it wasn't meant to be. Lost another bubalug Sunday night/Monday. It's not as devistating as Dylan, I had to hold him in my arms, I was 5 wks so didn't have to see much... but it still hurts...

Why can mother nature give me Ryan but can't give me another? Why does it keep happening...

What are the most common reasons for recurrrent miscarrage? Should I even bother trying again?

[tashybabe]

I am so sorry for your loss That's really devastating for you.

You can get testing. Can you talk to your OB/GYN or GP? Do you know why you lost Ryan? Most mc are chromosonal problems. If bub was tested, they can tell that. The 2nd bub would have been too small to tell. Trying again is something to think about after you've been grieving a while. Don't make that decision now. Have you had any counselling for loss?

Things that can be included in tests:
Hormone levels, such as progesterone
Immunological and blood clotting factors- there are many involved
Your and DH's chromosones. You can get karotyping, which is pricey, but will be able to tell you if you and DH have normal chromosones. Some people have balanced translocations, which means 2 of their chromosones have swapped parts, and when they mix with the other DNA during conception, they can swap incorrectly. That's a very basic, non medical explanation.
Your DH SA - his sperm morphology may be abnormal, leading to problems

I've done a lot of research since my loss and what I've found is that there's a 20% chance of a mc each time and some people are more unlucky than others. It sucks, but as all out testing came back normal, that's all I'm left with. I hope you have a sympathetic doctor who can help you.

[miamunchkin]

So sorry to hear of your loss - big hugs

[CelticMoon]

Thank you for the information Tash. I asked the dr this afternoon when I took Ryan as he has the start of conjunctivitus and a bit of a throat/sinus infection. She said that the first step would be to do a full blood work to see how everything is, she doesn't think the karotyping is necessary because we have a healthy boy (well besides all the daycare bugs). Then if they all come back ok I can have the option of going to a specialist or if they don't come back ok they can go from there. She said to come back after Wednesday when I get my HcG levels back to see if they are going down. If they aren't they are worried it is an ectopic pregnancy and I haven't passed the baby yet :S. She said we should wait minimum 1 cycle preferably 3 before trying again and having lots of iron, folate and a general vitamin to get my body back up and running...

Why can't we just lay an egg or something...

Claire, ty and congrats on your bun, fingers and toes crossed everything continues going great for you .

[tashybabe]

Sorry darl. I just realised I said you'd lost Ryan when you'd lost Dylan. I am so so sorry about that

I remember when you lost Dylan. I hope things changed at the hospital and you were able to get counselling.

[CelticMoon]

Yep, this time it was a lot better, they had someone come in and go through a check sheet of information with me and ask me what services I thought I needed etc, I asked them if the check sheet came in at the start of August and she said yes and I told her why it had come in and she went "oh you are the poor dear that happened to!" then went on a big rant about how glad she was they put someone in place because I wasn't the only one it had happened to. I was told that a week after Dylan another lady got sent home instead of being listened to and had a stillborn when they should of done a c-section straight away because the dr and midwife had both assumed that the other had done the appropriate tests and asked the question but neither had.

[kelebek]

and When I saw your status update I was hoping this wasn't the reason... take the time to grieve and heal....

[CelticMoon]

Ty kelebek, saw a naturopath today, see the dr tonight for results and hopefully getting a range of blood work done and a specialist referal. Hopefully between the 3 of them they will find something... praying they find something and it is an easy fix!

[greedy fly]

How far west do you live, hon? There is an excellent professor at the hospital near me who might be a worthwhile visit. He's part of a clinic at the hospital which sees women with high risk pregnancies.

My thoughts are with you.
xxx

[snugglybean]

Ohhhh, hun, I am so sorry to hear that There's so many different reasons that it can happen, and the two might not even be related, it's just a sucky thing that happened. Get any kind of testing you can though, because it's always better to know.

[CelticMoon]

My B-hCG has nearly doubled in the last 1 1/2 days, they are saying I'm most likely ectopic, ultrasound and blood test tomorrow followed by surgery

[rachel6188]

celtic - im so sorry huni. my sister had 10 m/c before she had my nephew. she had a problem where her body attacked the baby. im not sure of the treatment but i know she spent her whole pregnancy on bed rest. i really hope you get some answers huni. huge hugs xxx

[sunflowa_girlie]

CelticMoon, I'm so sorry for your loss

A friend of mine had a lot of miscarriages, always early on, so there was no way of testing for problems. However, her husband worked with strong chemicals - once he had been in a new job for a few months, they fell pregnant with a sticky bub, and have since had another. While the girls suggestions for you to make sure you keep up with your vitamins are great, perhaps hubby should go on some as well? A multivitamin would help, but perhaps Menevit would be even better, as its specifically designed for male fertility.

I know how it feels to have multiple miscarriages - you start to wonder whats wrong with you, and maybe even wish you couldn't fall pregnant at all, because then at least you wouldn't get attached. I'm not going to tell you that these things happen for a reason, because that's no help. There is NO way to justify things like this - all we can do is allow them to mold us, and help us grow.

Your darling babies will always be remembered, by you and your family, and by your friends here.

[kelebek]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Have PM'd you

[CelticMoon]

Thank you all, a lot has happened in the last week. The amount of bleeding I had the drs thought nothing would survive. It was really really disgusting I assure you. They did more scans and found out it is not ectopic, there is a sac still in the uterus, but they can't see a baby inside. Dr says it is most likely an anembryonic pregnancy, need another scan in a week to see if it is still there or not and if it is and theres still no baby then they are going to give me a D&C

[MadsMum]

Oh noooo CM not again!

I must say I am relieved for you that it is not an ectopic pregnancy. Hang in there CM

[Donna]

Hello there

I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss and unfortunely I am asking myself the same question as you.

Why does it keep happening? I lost my baby last week and it was my third loss.

The doctor was so confident that this one would be ok that he sent in the midwife at only six weeks.

I am going to get the tests that Tashybabe recommended and I am kind of hoping there will be something wrong so that I can have a reason for this.

I think that you should try again although I know that it is hard as it just hurts so bad each time it happens.

My Mum actually said to me that when my baby does come he or she will be a little super hero.

Stay strong and positive

Donna