TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth Sept 2009

[~mummyof4~]

Hi Guys

i am not TTC just yet, but i am trying to find out some things and i figure this would be the best place to ask..
I lost my baby girl 2 weeks ago at 18 weeks and my Dr has not even seen me or spoke to me since.. i want to know when it is physicaly healthy to TTC.. i dont even know when it would be alright to...well do "it" lol

if anyone has some answers it would be great!

[Teagz]

I was just thinking it had been very quiet in here lately... but, the thread has just gotten away from me
Still stalking you girlies - even though most of you are new since I was around i still love the high of seeing someones BFP- but I hope you don't mind still

Chez, the discription your friend gave to you gave me goosebumps. I hope she is right, too.

Aries, a plan is the first step towards some action! So it's FANTASTIC you have a plan now. I don't know much/anything about the FS stuff but I hope that everything sails through smoothly and all your tests come back looking good & your treatment can start soon.

Mummyof4 Usually you should be right to DTD about 2 weeks after the birth of your little angel, and most Dr's tell you to wait til after your cycle returns to normal or after your first AF before you start to actively TTC - but rumour has it that that's only for dating purposes. I think the general rule of thumb, and I have seen lots of other people say this, is that your body won't allow itself to fall pregnant again until it's ready - and I'm sure alot of the girls will agree and I know my body did this to me too which can send you batty, but it does have a mind and plans of it's own- unfortunately.

to Sam, Blessed & Butterfly and of course Mummabec & Beata

[Berry1]

Hi Mummyof4,

You have come to the right place. I am very sorry for your loss My OB advised to wait until AF came back, but as Teagz said, this is mainly for dating purposes. I was also told to wait until the bleeding stopped, which for me took about 3-weeks, I had spotting (sometime relatively heavy) for up to 5-weeks. I am surprised that your Dr has not spoken to you since, did he/she suggest you come in for a check-up at some point? My OB wanted to see me 6-weeks after, no internal check, just asked questions & answered mine.

Hope you are doing ok, its such a traumatic thing to go through. You will find amazing support on this thread. I hope your TTC journey is a very short one when you decide to try again. Take care.


Jasmine Serenity (19wks) - forever loved

[Chez67]

Hi

Mummyof4 - Welcome to our little support group. I am sad to hear of your loss. We lost our little boy at 18 wks as well. That was 7 months ago now and I can honestly say it has taken me this long to get to a point where I am no longer feeling guilty and can selflessly smile, laugh and generally be happy.

As for TTC again, unfortunately I bled for 5 weeks after the birth and had to have a D&C as well. It has taken a while for my cycle to return and even now it is not its usual 27 or 28 days. To complicate things I have iron deficient anemia which I have never had before and is probably because of the blood loss after the birth. But we have been TTC since about May. It really took me that long to be in the right head space to be able to. Somehow it jusn't didn't feel right and I wasn't really in the mood for romancing IYKWIM.

I think what Teagz says is right, that the regular cycle is really only for the Dr's benefit to make dating easier. But my TCM reckons that's daft because they can work out the age from an u/s anyway.

to Aries, Blessedatlast, Samcougar, Teagz, Beata, Megan, Bec and everyone else.

AFM, we're off to Perth for a wedding on the weekend so I'll be off BB until next week. Am so looking forward to going to the in-laws as they really look after us. The weather will be a bit warmer than here too which will be nice!

Take care everybody, and to everybody.

oxo

[Teagz]

Originally Posted by Chez67

AFM, we're off to Perth for a wedding on the weekend so I'll be off BB until next week. Am so looking forward to going to the in-laws as they really look after us. The weather will be a bit warmer than here too which will be nice!

Take care everybody, and to everybody.

oxo

You're on your way to my area! (sorta! Only 2 and a bit hours... well 1 and a half since the put the new highway in apparently) Good weekend to pick too, it's meant to be around 32ish degree's all weekend - hope it's not too much of a shock weatherwise

[Berry1]

Hi Cheryl, have a wonderful weekend away and enjoy that sunshine

[Samcougar]

Mummyof4- I'm so sorry about your loss
we lost our little man at 35 weeks and i didn't see my Dr until 6 weeks after he was born. He told us to wait about 2 cycles to TTC again and i think from memory we felt comfortable to DTD about 4 weeks after he was born. but it's totaly up to you, you will know when you are ready to start again. I hope when you do decide to start to TTC it's a short journey.

to everyone else, i hope everyone is well

AFM AF did arrive, she was just a bit late (i was kinda getting my hopes up a bit) oh well maybe this month not much else is happening at the moment just work, work, work. I think i need another holiday (i wonder if i can persuade DH for another holiday) lol i don't like my chances.

[beata70]

Hi Girls,

Butterflyforever and Samcougar, sorry AF arrived for you this month, keeping everything crossed for you for next month ladies

Mummyof4, I am so very sorry for your loss hun I lost my little man at 20 wks in Oct last year, but had to wait a few months to try another cycle of IVF as I had a very big fibroid in my uterus (that's why I lost Josh). I wish you all the very best in your TTC, I hope your wait is not too long.

Cheryl, hope you're having a great time in Perth!

Blessedatlast, how did your psychic app. go? Very curious what she had to say...

Hi Teagz, Megan & Aries, I hope you are all well and big hugs to you girls.

I'm just popping in to let you know I'm going well, and I'm spreading lots of in here!

Love and kisses

B xxx

[Chez67]

Hi everyone

Just popping in to say hi and hope everyone is doing ok and very busy with life which is why it is so quiet in here. That certainly is my reason

Anyway, just a quick update - no AF yet. My TCM is trying a different herb combo on me now. I don't even want to count how many days I am but needless to say I am definitely not pg, just in limbo land!

Have joined a gym in a bid to lose those extra kilos before Christmas. We're spending Christmas with DH's family and his sister has just bought a house with a pool, so I need to get my body confidence back to wear a swimsuit again! So far I have lost 1 kilo. Not much but it's a start. No chocolate cravings yet either, they are my downfall at about 3pm when I'm at work

I hope everyone is doing ok. Would love to hear where everyone is at.

Take care all
oxo

[Aries]

Hi Chez,

Yay for the 1 kilo!

Hey small steps are easier maintain and you will feel much better for it too. Well done!
Fingers crossed that your cycle sorts itself out soon. I hope you arent in limbo land for much longer!

I am on day 5 of clomid and due to have a scan on Monday to see if any healthy little eggies are waiting there to be released. I am excited, scared, nervous and hopeful all at once, its a strange feeling. DH and I are crossing our fingers for an annoucement at Christmas!

How is everyone going atm? I hope you are all plodding along nicely.

Take care
xo

[beata70]

Hi ladies,

Cheryl, I hope the new herbs do the trick hun, and bring on the AF for you You're talking about losing a kilo, I've gained 5!!!! I am so happy as all the girls in my belly group have been putting on a few kilos and I was only 2 kg up 3 weeks ago. All of a sudden I'm up 5! Things are well at my and hun, got my 19 wk scan on 4/11 so can't wait.
PS I have my chocky craving at exactly 3 pm, what's with that????

Aries, I have everything crossed for you hun and I hope you'll get lots of nice eggies

Big hugs to everyone in here, and as always big big bucket loads of for everyone.

B xxx

[Chez67]

Hi ladies

Aries - good luck with the clomid cycle hun. Hope that you see some nice healthy eggies on your scan. When is it? I'll be thinking of you. Here's hoping for a Christmas miracle.

Beata - I would say you have done amazingly well... I had put on about 5kg by 17wks... probably had something to do with my 2am snacks most nights - just a glass of milk and some biscuits to keep me going. Good luck with your scan. You're in my thougths and .

AFM - still no AF. Lots of weird feelings which I guess is a sign that SOMETHING is happening but no idea what! AP and TCM again this week and maybe a new plan... Trying to just eat healthy and exercise and not obsess about my cycle and not being pg! Anyway, I can't believe we're so close to Christmas. I have started putting some gifts together along with others I have collected over the year, but there is still a stack to get! We both really enjoy Christmas and so are looking forward to having a full family Christmas this year, although we will have to celebrate 5 days early as my BIL has to leave for work 3 days before Christmas Day - poor thing, so we're having 2 Christmases - one on 20th and one on 25th December. I'll definitely have to keep exercising won't I

Anyway, must go. Take care all. to Bec, Teagz, Megan, Mummyof4, ButterflyForever and blessedatlast. I hope you're all well.

oxo

[Aries]

Good morning ladies

Beautiful warm day today, loving just pulling on some shorts and a singlet and getting out there (well will be once I get off bellybelly!! lol).

Hi Chez my scan is tomorrow - which will be day 13 of my cycle. Definatley feeling the strong ovary pains so I am sure I will ovulate this time and pray that we catch that egg!

Its feels so scientific sometimes. I know that DH and I are very lucky that we are only on ovulation induction atm, it could be a lot more difficult but the spontanaity (?) of BD is not on the cards anymore. Its all about timing, days, pains etc!!! Whatever works

How is everyone else doing? Love to have an update.

Have a great Sunday ladies.

Chat soon xo

[Chez67]

Hi Aries

Good luck with your scan tomorrow hun. I am sure the pains are a good sign!

I understand exactly what you mean about BDing losing its spontaneity. We seem to be spend so much time trying to work out what is going on with our bodies that we forget the other important things in our lives. I've tried to make a conscious effort to do this... sounds weird but apparently that's the way to do it. And I haven't been tracking my cycle for ages now... it's just a reminder that my cycle is still out of whack and I don't need a tracker to tell me that every day! Yesterdy and today I feel like I have symptoms of PMS - short tempered (but am trying to control it) and generally a weird anxious feeling along with some pains, but who knows. I'm hoping that AF is about to visit!

Hope you have a great day in the sunshine and warmth!

oxo

[beata70]

Hi ladies,

Chez, you must be my DF's lost twin, lol. He just loooooooooves Christmas too, today we were in the big xmas shop AGAIN. This time I picked up this great fibre optic xmas tree in a glass bubble so I can take it to where Joshua's littls plot is at the memorial park for Christmas.
Thanks for your well wishes hun for Wednesday, I pray it's all good news.
I hope your AF shows up soon, but don't worry hun as the more you worry the longer it will take to come! My friend at work was hoping to start IVF next month and was waiting for AF to arrive on day 30 as per usual this month so she could fit in a cycle in November, but b/c she was so anxious about it, it arrived on day 37! Helloooooo!

Aries, GL with your scan tomorrow, I have everything crossed for you hun

Hi to everyone else out there!

B xxx

[blessedatlast]

Hi Everyone,

Just thought I would pop in.. Haven't been in here in a bit.. Not in a good place at the moment.. It is nearly the boys 1st birthday and anniversary and I have fallen back into the big black grief hole ..

I have officially finished the theory side of my course. Handing one last assessment in today and we are having a farewell lunch.. We had our big prac assessment on Monday which was nerve racking, but I was 1st up and I passed so it was good to get it out of the way. Went to meet the manager of the facility where I am doing my vocational placement, she seems really nice so we start orientation tomorrow. I can't wait to get it over and done with!

Beata - The psychic told me I had 2 people from the other side that want me to know they are there.. My babies maybe?? When I asked her more about them she said it was blurry, like I had a waterfall in front of me.. Umm.. She also said I had a decision to make regarding my career which was true.. She said I knew what to do I just hadn't made peace with it myself yet. She also said I had made the right decision and I will have the opportunity to do the other thing later.. So my interpretation of that was to do nursing and put off TTC and I can TTC later..but I have no idea what is going on with that as we have been stuffed around by TAFE and the enrolments haven't even opened for nursing yet.. I figure I will just enrol and if I fall pg in the meantime I will cancel.. I will get a full refund provided classes haven't started yet. I am not holding my breath for falling pg anyway as I am constantly bleeding again.. It is so depressing

Hi to everyone else, sorry for the really long post, I should try and post more often!!

[beata70]

Hi girls,

Aries, how did your scan go on Monday hun? Hope you had lots of good eggies

Blessedatlast, the first angelversary is the hardest I think. I was really anxious coming up to mine last month, and it was this huge buid up, and then a relief when it was over, but we spent a lovely day just me and my DF relaxing and remembering Josh. So I hope the day is as peaceful and gentle to you too. Will be thinking of you hun.
Wow, the psychic must be picking up on your 2 precious angels! As for your career, it sounds like a good plan to go and do your course and when you fall pg, bonus! and then you can deffer the studies! Go with the flow hun, things will fall into place for you, you'll see, go with your intuition and gut feeling for now. I hope your bleeding stops too hun, big hugs.

Big hello to everyone else and lots of babydust and stickyvibes for you ladies!

I had my scan today girls and all went well but bubs would not show us the rude bits! Have to wait another 2 weeks!

B xxx

[Chez67]

Hi girls

Blessedatlast - sorry that you are feeling so bad again with your bubs' birthday coming up. That is still a long way off for us but reading your post made me quite teary. The psychic sounded very intuitive. I agree with Beata, go with your gut. Things will work out. You still have options. I hope the bleeding settles down for you.

Beata - so pleased that all is on track with you. So nice to hear the good news. And the fibre optic tree for Josh sounds beautiful. I hadn't thought that far ahead.

Aries - how did your scan go? Lots of little follies I hope!

AFM no change. Got very emotional yesterday and feeling quite tired today so maybe AF is on her way. Another visit to TCM tomorrow for AP and more herbs.

to everyone else. Take care all.

oxo