TTC AFTER Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/ Stillbirth

[Samcougar]

Hello lovely ladies,

Sorry i have been MIA, I'll have to do a quick catch up later.

I have just spent 2 weeks in Queensland at Kirra in a resort after DH suprised me with it for our anniversary, AF showed up and i was feeling a bit down because i really felt positive about this time so i came home from work and the car was packed and all i had to do was get in. He wouldn't tell me where we were going until we got there! It was just so lovely, i had the best time! (i thought he was up to something when he wanted me to book holidays for 2 weeks, he said we were going to move into our new house)

anyway i'll catch up soon
my love to all

[Berry1]

Hi Samcougar, how sweet of your DH, very thoughtful, sounds like it was just what you needed!

ButterflyForever, yes I absolutely recommend finding an accupunturist that specialises in fertility. I paid about $50 per session that went for 45-min - 1 hr. I have to say that the lady I saw didn't specialise in fertility & once I realised that I was going to switch, but I thought I'd see my cycle out first & I was pg, so just stayed with her. I was looking into one that purely saw women with fertility issues & she was about $90 per session. Good-luck hun. Perhaps do some reading on it and even ring some clinics and ask it they have successfully treated patients with similar issues to yourself.

[ButterflyForever]

hi

thanks Berry, will probably ring round a few, although as I've only just started ttc. might try a couple of cycles without first, trying to get to grips with all the temps, cm, opt's and got that maybe baby thing as well, it's a whole new language and I'm struggling a bit with it. As I've only just convinced hubby to try, don't want to suddenly start forking out money for acupuncture as well, but think I will in the long run.

[Teagz]

Samcourgar that's so gorgeous! Good on your man! He must love you to death I'm glad to hear you had a good time!

[beata70]

Hi Girls,

Just a super quick post from me to let you know I had my scan today and all went well (I hope!). I won't get my results until Monday as my reffering doc finishes early on Fridays. But the lady who did the scan said all looked really good.

Thanks so much for all your good wishes girls

Just quickly, sorry AF turned up for you Samcougar, but what a lovely surprise for you from your lovely DH! What a gorgeous man....you're a lucky girl!

Butterflyforever, I still think of my gorgeous little man every day and wish he was here with me, even though I have another bub on the way. I don't think my thinking will ever change as he is such a big part of my life. I am excited to be having another bub, but miss my little guy even more now as I went through all of this (scans, bloods, etc) with Josh and it's bringing a lot of good memories for me... Sending you big hugs hun

Will be back soon with some more persies, once again, thanks for all your good wishes and thought ladies! You are all gorgeous!

B xxx

[ButterflyForever]

hi

beata - hugs thinking of you and your beautiful little Josh. Wishing you a H & H pregnancy. Josh will always be with you in your heart.

[Chez67]

Hi everyone

Thanks for the lovely welcome back - I missed you all and often wondered how you were all going

ButterflyForever - Hi and welcome to our little support group. I am very sorry to hear of your loss and wish our lives could have crossed paths under different circumstances I know the ladies here have been an enormous support for me over the last 6 months since we lost our son at 18 weeks. It took us 3 years to conceive him and we are hoping that it won't take long to fall pg again but my cycles have been very wonky and age isn't exactly on my side Anyway, I understand how you feel that you want your daughter back Have you got a good support network of family or friends to help you? I found talking to a psych was very helpful and got me through some of my darkest times.

Blessed - I have just used the Lullaby conceptions OPTs and found them to be cheap (I think I bought 30 of them for the same reason as you) and quite good. I did get two days in a row where the line seemed to show just as darker or darker than the control, although I still find this tricky. The digital type - Clearblue - are much more expensive but they give you a smiley face if positive rather than you having to work out the shade of the colour. While I was overseas I bought a Clearblue Fertility Monitor which if AF arrives this cycle then I will start using next cycle. I found I was just getting so frustrated trying to follow the signs of temps, CM, OPKs and maybe baby (which doesn't seem to work for me) that I wanted something that was a bit simpler so I am hoping that the fertility monitor will do this. Good luck with your OPTs and I hope your cycles settle down soon.

Beata - I am so glad that your scan went well today - yay! Take care and thinking of you hun xx

Megan - I hope all is going well with you and 2nd trimester now, how exciting! Thinking of you too xx

Bec - how are things going with you?

Samcougar - sorry that AF arrived It's hard when you are feeling so positive isn't it? I am going through the same thing at the moment - would love to have brought back an extra bundle while we are away but also I would love for my cycles to be regular again and for AF to arrive early next week. And your DH sounds so wonderful and romantic - must be related to my DH . I hope you enjoyed your break - 2 weeks at the beach sounds like heaven!

AFM, well finished my first week back at work. I do feel like I have had a good break and yes I definitely needed it. Unfortunately DH spent quite a bit of time stressing about work and after one day back has decided to pursue other opportunities. He is over trying to push for a career and has decided to settle on lifestyle and less stress instead, which I am really pleased about! As I mentioned above I took a heap of OPKs with me and I think we managed to time BDing right and DH's aunt told me that their son and DIL conceived their child in the room we were in, not that I thought it was obvious what we were up to So she thinks their house is lucky when it comes to making babies. I hope she's right. Work is crazy busy with someone in my team resigning, one on leave and one away for the next few weeks doing other stuff, leaves a grand total of me to do 4 people's work - not happy! But I'm trying not to take it all too seriously.

Anyway, I have rambled enough. I hope to be back into BB regularly again from now on.

Take care all
oxo

[beata70]

Hey Cheryl, I had a good laugh about the baby making room, he he. I really hope it worked for you hun! Don't stress too much about work hun, luckily still you're fresh from your holiday so still feeling pretty relaxed I bet! Really hope and you get your BFP soon hunni.

Butterflyforever, thank sweetie. I know what it's like to wish everyday your baby was still here I think it would be that much harder for you as you've had a lot longer to bond with your baby girl, and to have come so far in your pregnancy. I have a little spot for Joshua where I have some photos of him and some angels and figurines and so forth, and I kiss his photo every single day and talk to him, that helps me to feel close to him. I think of it as if he was still here, I would be giving him cuddles and kisses every morning and night (and in beetween!). I don't think that's unhealty, I just miss him so much, but I have fully accepted he isn't here on earth and lives on in my heart.
I started seeing a psychologist the same month I lost Josh (every week for months, until a couple of months ago when I started seeing here once a month to help me with the transition into the new pg) and I can't tell you how much she has helped me. When I started seeing her, I really needed help, I could't cope even with all my family and friends rallying around me. I finally came to the stage when I was just really angry with what happened to me, and then came the time when I made peace with that, and slowly started to look to the future and see the sunshine again. It did take a few months, but I also longed to be pg again soon after I lost Josh, so we worked together on seperating my need to 'replace' Josh and wanting a new, seperate little baby in my life, whom I would not look at and wish he/she was Josh iykwim. Anyway, I really would recommend some help hun, sometimes it's good to talk to someone on the 'outside', it's amazing how sometimes you don't see just how much you are improving and the positive changes that are taking place. I also went to the meetings with SANDS and only stopped going when I started the treatment a couple of months ago.
I really feel for you going throug this tough time, and sometimes I don't even think it will get much easier, but it does, very slowly, and that's the miracle of human resiliance, strength and determination. Wishing you all the best sweetie and sening you big hugs hug:

B xxx

[Chez67]

Hi everyone

Wow it's very quiet in here!

I have had a very busy week and am back travelling for work again which I am not that happy about because I know that flying does take its toll on my body. But anyway that is life at the moment as we are short staffed at work.

Well I'm CD33 today and had a BFN on Monday morning. I did ovulate late and I thought I had twinges of AF arriving last weekend and then again on Wednesday. My AP says that the jet lag can muck things up a bit, so I am really hoping that this cycle will be somewhat normal, that is much less than 100 plus days!

I have had some sad times this last week and it seems that the slighest thing can set me off, listening to a song on the radio, driving past the cemtery where Ryan is buried - which happens most mornings on my way to work - and just thinking about Ryan and how my life would have been so different if he were alive. I managed to summon up the courage to post some wedding photos to Facebook. It was hard to look back on the time when we were so happy and naive and I was 16 weeks pg. So there were some tears shed there too.

I am fairly sure that my weird cycle lengths are still a hangover from my stress and emotional upheaval. I am trying to do positive self talk each day, reassuring me that I will fall pg again, that we will have a baby, and trying to visualise us with a healthy live baby. It's still early days and hard but I hope that it makes a difference.

Anyway, I must rush. We're going out to dinner and I need to wash my hair!

Take care all and will pop back in later for persies!

oxo

[Berry1]

Hi Cheryl,

I'm sorry that you got a BFN, but it sounds like a good sign that you know you ovulated & that AF is hopefully coming soon - if she's going to turn up this month. It would be a huge step forward for you if your cycles return to normal. I hope you are finding the time to take time out for YOU! I think that is really important. I really feel for you & your grief for Ryan I am sure that the stress etc has affected your body, but its still good to grieve when you feel you need to, but keep up the positive thoughts as well. I'm sure things are going to really start to improve for you. Praying that your baby shows up soon hun

Take care
x

[blessedatlast]

Hi all,

A selfish post today I have been using the opk's and i got a positive result CD11.. I have used opk's before and this is the 1st time I have ever got a positive result.. Any way my result was positive on Tuesday and we had DTD that morning then DP had to go away for work on Wed but only stayed one night so we were back to it on Thurs!! So here's hoping but I am not stressing as much now as I am just glad I am actually ovulating and at least my cycles are getting better lots of for us all..

[Chez67]

Hi

Blessed - that's great news that you got a + OPK result. I hope you and DP managed to catch that eggie! Wishing you lots of luck hun and sending lots of

Berry, thanks for your words of support. I appreciate you and Beata still droppin in her to keep an eye on us. I hope everything is going well with your little one and think if you almost every day. xx

AFM, am feeling like absolute cr@p today so I think it will be a quiet day today on the couch, although I still need to get the washing finished! But DH has promised to help out, so that's good. I am hoping that AF is on her way. I had AP on Friday and got some super duper herbs, so really hope that she will visit soon. BBs are sore, lower back pain, headache, and some twinges are all good signs.

Anyway, off to the couch for me. It's cold, rainy and windy outside today so that seems to be the perfect place to be, with my furbabies!

Take care all,
oxo

[ButterflyForever]

hi

Beata70 - nice talking to ladies who understand. I am seeing a Psyc, just helps to talk to her, haven't seen her since deciding to ttc, so looking forward to the next appt, to try and get the emotions in check. Went to the local hospital grief help group, but found that difficult as miscarriages, stillbirth, neonatal death and terminations were all lumped in together, and we all had different issues.

chez67 - it is tough, I have just moved house so don't have to drive by the cemetery every day, but when I did I would feel guilty if I didn't visit, now only visit once every couple of weeks. Hope your cycles sort themselves out.

blessedatlast - hope this is the month for you, glad your cycles seem to be sorting themselves out. opt's don't seem to work for me at all, just get a faint line for a few days around 'o' then it disappears again.

afm - Been using Fertility Friend had a few issues with it but it seems to have sorted itself out, it liked my temp this morning I think. Got a dotted maybe line, but looks like I O'd on day 11. It gave me a only a good (not high) chance of conception, as missed dtd on the day of Ovulation, just hope the couple of nights prior had some strong swimmers. Looks like I'm on the tww.

Take care all,

[beata70]

Hi lovelies,

Blessedatlast, I hope you've caught that little eggie hun , I'm glad your cycles are regulating! I never really used the OPKs in the past, but if DF and I had a chance to get pg naturally I would use them, as it turns out I don't ovulate on day 14 every cycle as I thought.....when I was using the OPKs in my last two cycles before my FET, one month I O'd on day 16/17 and then on the actual FET cycle month (so on the month they put my blastie in) I O'd on day 11. Hellooooooooo! So it does pay to do these sorts of tests

Cheryl, I'm sorry for the BFN, but hun I am so glad your body is finally getting back to normal! I know you don't want AF, you want the BFP!!! but it's so good you're ovulating. One big step closer to your BFP hun!!! You are on the right path, just like Megan was, and now she's preggo!! GL sweetie, I'm always keeping my fingers crossed for you

ButterflyForever, I'm glad you're seeing a psych, they are very beneficial and mine certainly helped me on my path to TTC again. I'm not sure about the hospital group, particularly if they also talk about termination???? Have you heard about SANDS? They only talk about m/s and neonatal death, I found them very good although the meetings can be pretty full on sometimes, as you have to tell your story every time you meet once a month, in case there is someone new in the group.

Megan, Teagz, Samcougar, Aries & Diana (if you're reading this!) girls! I hope you are all keeping well

Just want to spread some good ol' & in here, I would love to see a BFP in here soon!!!!

AFM, feeling pretty good these days (although every time I say this I end up jinxing myself and feel like cra* the next day! lol) things are going well, and I'm hanging out for my 19 wk scan on 5 Nov.
On another note, I'm just in mourning ATM, after my boys lost the Grand Fianal to the Cats yesterday. Very devastated to say the least

Big hugs to all

B xxx

[Inanna]

It's time for a new thread my lovelies. You can find it HERE