Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss - September 2009

[bonelige]

Originally Posted by maddison

Sammy - Good luck with the 2ww. I hope you get that BFP this month to ease your heart a little. Isnt it amazing how people dont tell you about having a m/c until you say you have had. I tell anyone who asks me about us having a baby as i feel that one day someone in real life will need to talk and they will know i understand.

Im on my way out of the 2ww at 11dpo. A few more days til a/f or testing for me. Was thinking about testing tomorrow but might just wait for a/f to either show or not show this month.

i'm the same. i don't want to hide our loss because it was a real person that we buried and i don't want him to be a secret. and like you say, there may be someone out there who might need you one day.

Originally Posted by maddison

Welcome to the new ladies. Im sorry to hear of your losses. I know you will find heaps of support from this forum. The ladies here are wonderful.

Well i caved this morning. I woke up feeling some slight cramping like a/f might be on her way soon and i tested. It was a It was fainter than the control line but easy to see. I cant believe it. I just always expect it to be negative. I will test again tomorrow morning just to convince myself. Feeling to nervous to get excited yet. for a sticky bub this time.

i don't know you very well yet as i'm new here but big congrats for a sticky!!



question
did you all wait for ovulation then really go for it, or did you know around about when you would ovulate then dtd as often as you could in those days surrounding O?

[maddison]

Hi bonelige and welcome. Im very sorry for your loss. To answer your question about o'ing and bdind, we only bd the day before ov and we got our BFP. You can look at my ff chart if you want to. I believe its recommended to db every second day from getting any fertility signs like ewcm, the day before and the day of ov. Someone correct me if im wrong.
I hope your stay here is only very short and a BFP is just around the corner for you.

[starangelk]

maddison - Congratulations. How many DPO are you? I am just interested to know how early you can tell I am SO happy for you.

Bonelige - I have read heaps about the every second day BDing but to be honest, we just BD around O time every day and when I got my :BFP: we only DTD 5 times that cycle.

Murraycod - thinking of you for your scan tomorrow and hopefully you are in much less pain now!!

Chickybabe - how are you going?? I've been thinking of you quite a bit............

Loopie and Hearts281 - welcome. I know it's a horrible time to have gone through, but I have found this thread is just a wonder for helping me through.

Hi to Tanya, Coco, EliseLouise, SammyP and everyone else I have missed.

AFM - I have had a bit of a rough week. I thought I was coping quite well with everything but then I spoke to my friend who is preg and got this horrible feeling. Not angry towards her, just not wanting to have anything to do with her.........felt bad because that is very mean towards her. Just been a bit teary and overly emotional and feel like everywhere I look I see pregnant women. I am sure you guys know what I mean..........

[maddison]

Starangelk - Im sorry you are having a hard day today. We all know too well that feeling of jealously towards friends and family that are pregnant. Its normal to be feeling like that.
I am 12 dpo and tested with first morning urine this morning. I used a forelife test instead of the internet cheapie.

[snugglybean]

Yaaaaaaaaaay Maddison! I just had a feeling I should check in today, haven't been around for a bit!

Tanya - I am so with you. I hid the last pregnancy fairly well - told work and family, btu then found it really hard for friends to understand why I was so upset. Now I wished I had told them, and next time I will be telling everyone. I also can't stand the way nobody talks about it - when I was in hospital after the bike stack, the ambo was giving my history, and he would always whisper when he said "miscarriage"
And nobody ever says anything, everyone always stumbles over how to refer to it. Even DH. And it makes me feel really uncomfortable.

In other news... my hCG is officially zero, so no more blood tests for a month! Hospital can't seem to get their facts straight and now want me to wait until February to TTC again, so I can get final clearance (can't otherwise get it as will be in Japan) I expressed my discontent, and the middy said it was a recommendation, and they'd rather I do that, but ultimately was my decision. I'll be in Melbourne on the test date, so I might get it done down there, but that will also be very close to O day! And EDD. Man it's going to be full on. Love it. I'm going so hard at life at the moment. And I feel good.

Hope everyone else is well!

[Looppylouie]

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for the welcome, it's nice to know there are people out there to help and understand you.

SammyP: I actually meant hysterscopy, I should reread what I type in future and then it should make sense!!!

Congrats Maddison!!!! Hope all goes well for you...

I bought my clomid today and now I just just have to wait for AF to arrive. Could be any day, painful waiting when you dont know when.

[bonelige]

Originally Posted by maddison

Hi bonelige and welcome. Im very sorry for your loss. To answer your question about o'ing and bdind, we only bd the day before ov and we got our BFP. You can look at my ff chart if you want to. I believe its recommended to db every second day from getting any fertility signs like ewcm, the day before and the day of ov. Someone correct me if im wrong.
I hope your stay here is only very short and a BFP is just around the corner for you.

thanks for that

Originally Posted by starangelk

AFM - I have had a bit of a rough week. I thought I was coping quite well with everything but then I spoke to my friend who is preg and got this horrible feeling. Not angry towards her, just not wanting to have anything to do with her.........felt bad because that is very mean towards her. Just been a bit teary and overly emotional and feel like everywhere I look I see pregnant women. I am sure you guys know what I mean..........

know what you mean. you want to be happy for them but at the same time it's really hard because you know you should be in the same situation. big hugs for you

Originally Posted by snugglybean

Tanya - I am so with you. I hid the last pregnancy fairly well - told work and family, btu then found it really hard for friends to understand why I was so upset. Now I wished I had told them, and next time I will be telling everyone. I also can't stand the way nobody talks about it - when I was in hospital after the bike stack, the ambo was giving my history, and he would always whisper when he said "miscarriage"
And nobody ever says anything, everyone always stumbles over how to refer to it. Even DH. And it makes me feel really uncomfortable.

!

someone close said to me after this loss.." i guess you won't be so quick to tell everyone next time" i said no i probably will tell people because the amount of support i got was jsut amazing. Why should it be an embarassment? you wouldn't pretend nothing happened if it was a relative or pet or soemthing. I guess some people aren't as open with emotions, but i know i am.

[josh'smum]

Sorry ladies double post.

[josh'smum]

CONGRATULATIONS MADDISON

Just lurking and read the fantastic news. Couldn't be happier for you.

Cheers
Lisa

Me 32 DH 38
DS 5/1/2007
December 2008 (13 weeks)

[hearts281]

Congratulations Madison!!!! Hope everything goes well

[Sparkles]

CONGRATS MADDISON!!!
About time we got another BFP in here.

SNUGGLY - Good to see you pop in, i've been thinking off you lately. great news your HCG is back to zero!! I talk to everyone about our miscarriage if it comes up and i make a big point that it shouldn't be something that is not talked about. I realise it's probably because people feel uncomfortable talking about it and don't know what to say bjut i feel better talking about it!! DH got drunk and went and told everyone 12 weeks on the dot, so then we had to tell everyone about the m/c. But being in a small town and running a business, people had to know especially since i had to go back into hospital. Everyone has been great though and next time, i don't think we'll keep the pregnancy a secret at all as everyone will probably find out if i m/c again anyway!!
Good luck to everyone!!!!

[milly5]

HI ladies,
I've been lurking, and not really posting ....

Chickybabe - great news about the heartbeat!!

Maddison - Congratulations!!

Sammy - I read in one of your earlier posts (on the last thread) that you said since the m/c you now feel every ache and pain of ovulation etc. Me too. I never had ovulation pain before the m/c, didn't even know what it was. And pimples - them too - URGH!!!!!

AFM - well, in the 2ww again, though not feeling confident this month.

[bonelige]

After we were given the all clear by doctors we decided that this cycle we'll try again. So I let DH know which week is ovulation week, and explained how important it was so guess what....he's been too tired. Ovulation day meant to be yesterday according to charts, and the deed happened on monday. since then he's too tired!! wtf?!?! mind you he could still got to sports training for 2 hours. I am so so so mad.

sorry for the vent.

[maddison]

Hi Bonelige - I understand your frustration. It wasnt that long ago i was complaining about the same thing. I never told dh when was o time cos he would feel pressured to 'preform'. Men have very different feelings about the whole ttc thing compared to us ladies. I think they feel a little used. You would think they would love all the extra bding!

[eliselouise85]

Bonelige i know what you mean, every time i tell db that its o time and that we need to do bd he says the exact same thing, hes too tired and cant be bothered. So like maddison said i just dont tell him anymore and just try my hardest to bd at the right time, but its very frustrating a male saying no to doing the deed, who would've thought Hopefully the monday worked or you could try again today and hopefully that will work for you too. Good luck on getting a BFP
Milly good to see you back, hopefully this is your month even though your not feeling confident. Last time i got my bfp i was feeling exactly the same, thought there was no way but got a nice surprise when it showed 2 lines for you.
Sparkles thats how i feel about telling people too, everyone has been very supportive so i wouldnt be too worried about telling people again when the time comes.
Loopielouie good luck with the clomid, hopefully you get a BFP very soon
Snugglybean thats great news that your hcg levels are back to zero! Why does the doc want you to wait so long before ttc again, im sure youve already told us but my memory is terrible. Hope you are well
Starangelk sorry to hear you are having a rough week, i hope you are feeling a little better soon. I too was in that boat last week i thought everything was going along fine and then saturday i heard about a friend who is pregnant and i just lost it and was very down and emotional for about 3 or 4 days. Just starting to feel a little better now.
Murraycod good luck with the scan today hope you get some positive news
Tanya good luck with the tww, that would be great to get a BFP on your edd and i really hope you do. I will be keeping everything crossed for you.
Hello to everyone else i have missed, hope everyone has a great weekend.
AFM still waiting to ovulate. Have a girlfriends hens day party tomoro so im thinking i might have quite a few drinkies in the hope that its the last time i can do it for about 9 months

[zstar]

BIG CONGRATS MADDISON

I am soooo happy to hear your news!



afm - i am going well. 12 weeks tomorrow. have scan for downes sydrome on tuesday so looking forward to getting that out of the way. bit of a stress with our ages. m/s has pretty much gone and i am just starting to feel good again. taking it one day at a time.

i lurk here all the time keeping up to date with all you amazing girls. i wish you sticky pg's very very soon and you are always in my thoughts.

[snugglybean]

Eliselouise I had a molar pregnancy, so need to wait and have heaps more blood tests so they can be sure that no tissue has grown back.

I had been going really well emotionally, but last night the ILs got on the phone. First they started telling me how fantastic it was that my levels were at zero- like really carrying on and gushing - and I got a little bit upset, because it's not fantastic. It's rubbish that I even have to do it. It's just something I do, just a small part of my life, and I have no control over it anyway. But that wasn't so bad. It was when they started talking about my birthday, and MIL was trying to figure out how old I'll be (28) and I just started getting teary because I know we won't be having a baby until I'm at least 29, and then teary turned into a full blown cry. Now, there's nothing wrong with having a baby at 29, but numbers and figures and dates that remind me how long this journey is are really difficult for me, and I just lost it.

Going to a cocktail party tonight Ought to lift the spirits. Literally!

[bonelige]

snugglybean- you poor thing. sometimes IL's think they are saying the best but really, they aren't. I hope your tests will be over soon and you can have a positive journey.

zstar- good luck with tests

starangelk- hope you are feeling better today

well i guess i'l wait until next month. maybe it just wasn't meant to happen yet, who knows? I won't tell him about o'ing next month. he's in the mindset that pregnancy can happen any time of the month wouldn't that be great if it were true