Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss - September 2009

[ric]

Hi Babyluv
Welcome to BellyBelly
I am so sorry to hear your pregnancy loss and pain you went through during all this. You are in the right place where you can share your grief, concerns and emotions and everyone here is very welcoming, kind and supportive.
i too lost my first pregnancy with partial mole in August'09 and after weekley 24hr urine check-up for HCG levels (to come under 5), Doc's at Royal Woman's gave me greelight to plan again but my cycles are so irregular, i dont know whats happening.
Don't worry, as doc' only say that having a m/c no necessarily mean that one would have another one....but i think its normal to have concerns and fear about the next pregnancy....don't worry everything is going to be fine and we would be sharing a BFP soon.
i believe that "be positive and positive things will happen"
take care and keep posting
wishes, ric

[Babyluv]

Awww thanks Ric,

I agree with you positive thoughts and we will all be celebrating BFP's very soon.

XOX

[Matthew's Mum]

evening everyone,Craftymummy-If you are worried about menapause,the test they do is a blood test-but after a loss our cycles are so mixed up,hoping it's that for you(hot flushes are not much fun)...ric-sorry your cycles are mixed up to,hope g.p can give you some answers...Babyluv-sorry about your loss,as for the courage to try again' try to keep your eye on the prize'.A pregnancy after loss is going to be hard,but many people have done it.My doctor told me to ask for extra scans if needed for reassurance.And take one day at a time,good luck .

[murraycod]

Matthew'sMum youre right, what did happen to having sex and falling pregnant????????? Why us? Why do we have trouble?..................I wish I knew the answer. One thing I do know.........It's not fair.

Sparkles, I went to the chemist yesterday, and one of my friends came running up to me screaming "Im pregnant I'm pregnant!!! All youre work must have rubbed off onto me instead. How about that! Oh bad luck for last month by the way I heard it didn't work again"
If I was not in public I think I would have slapped her. When I wen't home and whinged to DH about it, he replied " You should be happy for her because you would want people to be happy for you."
Life really sucked yesterday. It was like screaming in a crowded room with nobody listening to me...........or caring.
Today I feel a bit happier, just one 'friend' shorter.

TwinSis, Men can be just on a different plannet than we are. Sometimes they just 'Don't Get It'. I'm sorry you had a tiff with your DH. I hope everything is ok now XXX And enjoy Vancouver and well deserved time off babe X We don't celebrate ThanksGiving in Australia, I think Christmas with the family is enough in a year for me!!

Craftymummy I have those same dreams!

Ric I'm guessing that if you bled for 4-5days middle Sept, you would take that as AF and to be due again around 11-12Oct. But I would only be guessing.Mabey a BT might have some answers where you are at??
I can't beleive how quick this month is going already. We need a BFP soon girls.........

Babyluv welcome to the forum X Sorry you have to be here, but we are a great bunch of chickies to chat too.
So have you had your wedding??
I don't know if you would call it courage to get pregnant again, more an obsession of desperately needing
I am terrified of the first twele weeks of being pregnant again, the girls here though are a great support and I'm sure we will all get through it together.

Good evening to everybody XX Half way through the week already!!!

Me same old same old, anoth Puregon 50iu down in the book X

[coco1411]

Just a little note to my angel baby. I know there are others coming to their would be due dates. I just needed to get this off my chest..
Dont mind me not being posting much..Im chosing to lurk, it's getting a bit too much for me at the moment..[/COLOR]

love you all and thanks so much for your support too xxx
]
Feeling flat, feeling lost
Feeling ill, the fever a frost
Feeling empty, feeling blue
In about 11 days time, we would have held you

Tried so hard to fight the urge
To scream and cry and openly mourn
The tree in the yard when it blooms I see
The gift from a god, that will never be

The pilow is soaked, yet again
Another month goes by and I see no end
I want to be done, I want to be free
Why angel why, didn't you chose to be with me

Feeling like a freak
Looking like a wreck
Seeing a woman weak
About nothing else I think

I know Im not alone
I know you've felt it too
I know what you've gone through but it doesnt comfort me
My feelings don't mirror you

The constant blame, and questioning
Was it ever me? Did you not love me?

The ache in my chest, the lump in my throat
Killing the time, writing a note
Looking for solace, and escaping these fears
I dread those few days where I know you would be here

I want you to know, angel dear
while I watch your tree grow you feel so near
I keep you close to my heart, even though we're worlds apart

My tears will be acid in about 11 days
I cannot deny it
The burning and the shame of still bearing the grief
The love I still feel, the anger and rage
I cannot deny, that in about 11 days I will be wishing...wishing for relief
To break these chains of the grief

Month after month I dread
turning the calendar and marking the day red
My biggest fears coming true and I know Im sick of hearing that It's early too.

To me you were real,
Your heart beating made it true
I clung for that moment, even though in my heart I knew.

I was already losing you...

[Looppylouie]

Coco... I hope those words helped with easing the pain.... they did for me. It was lovely for you to post it.

I havent been on here much since I joined not long ago, so many posts for me to read (I think it was about 12 pages) and lots of things have happened. Sorry about all your losses and the arrival of dreaded AF. Fingers crossed for those who are in TTW mode and those who have got the BFP!

I too feel the pain of hearing of people I know are pg. It's hard... I know I dont show my fustration to others (even DH) but deep down it hurts. I secretly hope they too m/c so they know what its all about. That's horrible to think that but I'm sure you know what I mean.

AFM..... i'm on day 5 of taking clomid for the first time after a 55 day cycle. Was hard within that cycle cause I had had a lap and hystoscopy (spelling??) at the beginning of it and waiting for AF to arrive was fustrating. I thought maybe after a 'clear out' things might at least be a bit more normal (as in cycle length). But you learn to listen to your body and the sign of AF become clearer. I'm hoping now after being on clomid I get a BFP. I am so niave about it all. I'm 30, loving my life with my dogs at the moment (I travel with them doing dog agility) and if it happens, it happens... but I really want a baby. I guess its hard cause even though my DH is supportive and all, it seems he doesnt care about what lies ahead (changes to our life, money issues, me not wanting to work full time when it seems I will have no choice) and we will sort it out when the time comes.... it doesnt work like that!!

Sorry about the long post....

[ferrals4]

Coco-thinking of you through this difficult time hope you feel better soon.

TinaR-I replied to your PM but not sure if it sent stupid comp went into database error let me no if you diddn't get it.

Hello to all the bb ladie's.

Just a quickie from me i'm waiting for the rest of my medication's to arrive today i am starting to get worried what if i don't make enough egg's what if they don't make it to blast stage (day 5 to be tested) what if they are all effected! what if it dosn't work! i am trying to stay positive i am doing my acupuncture am avoiding caffine i have lost 2kg in the last 10 day's i'm now 63kg's i was 61kg's before i had my boy's so not doing to bad i just have to get through the next few week's ive made it this far anyway sorry for the me rant i will pop back in later when i calm down.

[Sunbeam]

Hi girls,
Been lurking and popping in on and off. Just wanted to update.

Went to see FS on monday and had a great appointment in which he agreed to treat Donor daddy and I as a couple and start IUI. As we are not together it should be treatred as a donor insemination and this would have required donor daddy's sperm to be frozen for 6 months before we could we could use it. I said this was ridiculous as I'd been inseminating myself with it for 20+ months. He agreed. So we went over to the IVF clinic and acted like a straight couple which was quite fun and donor daddy said afterwards was yet another shared expereince that brought us closer together . The IVF clinic ran bloods and FS had scanned my ovaries and I was still not close to Oing even at day 17. In one way this was good news I though as essentially we could have our first IUI this month. However, as with anything on this journey things do not go to plan and the blood tet was not conclusive as to whether I will o this month or not, even on 100mg clomid, seriously what do my blooming eggs need, dynamite???
So now I have to have another blood test on thursday to confirm (or not) that I will be oing and we can go from there. Either way it messes us up for a try next month as donor daddy will be away at the right time. If i don't o then I have to take tablets to bring on my period and then start hormone injections. Welcome to the world of assisted fertility

Seems we are all feeling a bit worried and frustrated and sad. Lets hope it all feels more positive soon.

[ferrals4]

Hey Sunbeam! good to hear from you and i'm happy that you have a FS that is going to help you to as a couple we will be on the rollercoaster together.

Ok so now i'm freaking just spoke to the pgd nurse about a cycle in dec if this one dosn't work and she said a lot of women have a anovulatory cycle (don't ovulate) after ivf so if that happen's to me she said i might not get a period in dec to do another cycle before the new rebate system kick's in and we won't be able to afford it in the new year WTF! talk about pressure for this cycle to work.
DH and i talked about trying natrually after dec and take the risk of and effected baby being conceived and we both agreed if the ivf dosn't work out we will try as many time's as possible for a healty baby until my 37th bday then call it quit's.
This whole thing sux we have good fertility can get pregnant but have this stupid faulty gene that is causing all the problem's.

[Matthew's Mum]

morning all,Murraycod-Sorry about the chemist incident,glad you're feeling a bit brighter,hope it has continued on today...Coco-Your words were beautiful...Loopylouie-good luck with this cycle...Sunbeam-Good luck with the iui,hope doing something different will give you renewed hope..Ferrals-fingers crossed for this cycle.This new rebate system sounds harsh,what is the government thinking????

[maddison]

Hi everyone,

Coco - Thinking of you as your should of been due date approaches. I hope you find a special way to remember your angel on the day. You will never forget your angel but it will get easier. Wishing you all the best for this month.

Murraycod - I cant believe that woman bragged about being pregnant. I agree that we all want of friends to be happy for us when its our turn but come on. Does she have no feelings at all. So rude and insensitive.

Eliselouise - I hope you are feeling better and looking forward to ttc this month.

Sunbeam - So glad you can get into IVF as a couple and move it along faster. I wish you all the best and hope you are successful first time round.

Ferrals - Dont stress. (I know easy to say) Like you said you are very fertile people so there is no reason it wont work first time. I look forward to seeing your BFP announcement very soon.

Huge hugs to everyone else. There are so many new people its hard to keep up. Baby dust to everyone.

AFM - I had my ultrasound this morning. Last pregnancy i had m/c the day before my scan so i was very nervous but we have a heartbeat at 153bpm and are measuring to date. 7weeks and 6 days. Time is moving very slow but it feels very different this time. Was interesting to find out today that ff gave an incorrect o date. It says i o'ed on day 17 but according to the scan it was day 13 so a bit out.

[ric]

Hi Girls,
Sorry was at work yesterday and bank was too busy...
Murraycod - what was that ????? how insensitive for that women. how can people ignore other people's emotions and pains, when happiness knocks at their door. and if she is a friend, she knows everything - she could have just passed the news rather than screaming and feeling sorry for your loss..i should not say this - but you know, people forget that anything can happen to anyone; and God is there. and why show-off man...she is not a friend, bcoz friend is the first to understand you, rather than a competitor.
I feel bad hearing this Murraycod, i felt like crying listening to this incident.
Coco - very touching poem, it reminded me of my loss as well, very touching lines.
i am too desperate to be pregnant again.
eliselouise - hope this is your month, all the best with TTC and BFP
maddison - everything is going to be fine and i think your nervousness is normal
hope everything goes in your favour.
and too all the ladies i have missed - thinking of all of you.

With me, i went to see my GP and guess what, since i told her that i am 5 days late for my periods and i did HPT (which was negative), i dont know whats going on? i asked her to do Blood Test to see whats going on. she commented- if your HPT is negative, no point in doing Blood test...what the ****, go home and wait....i am planning to go to other Doc now...
I think you are right MurrayCod - that could be my early AF, after m/c, irregular one -showed early..so i am thinking to wait till 11th oct and then see other GP, bcoz my GP disappointed me, by not taking the blood sample
DH says late AF is giving your body a chance to heal and recover and preparing for the next one...dont worry...
but i am worried, i just want to start trying and see myself prego again...
Good day to all.
love, ric

[eliselouise85]

Evening all, no persies from me tonight sorry.
Thankyou ladies for your kind words and good luck to me for TTc and BFP this month, but sadly this wont be my month. DB has been away since last monday so havent seen him for a week and a half. He has no idea when he will be home and im heading off to QLD for a week on friday, so by the time i get back AF will be due and will definately show up this time. Im feeling ok about it but have days where i just think to myself that it is never going to happen for us and get really upset
So anyway i dont really feel like posting too much at the moment but i have been lurking and keeping up with everything that is going on. I will probably come back properly when i can actually get a chance to start BDing again which who knows with DBs work could not be till the end of the year that its not but its quite a possibility which is just not fair.
Sorry for the whinge ladies but i just thought id let you know what is going on for me.
Good luck to everyone and hopefully there are lots of BFP's really soon

[Matthew's Mum]

Hi everyone,Maddison-good to hear things are doing well for you...Ric-I think the blood test they can do measures progesterone levels which indicate ovulation which in turn indicates when af is due if pregnant i've heard a blood test can show up early than hpt so i hope another doc will give you a test,it does seem common that af is mixed up after a loss...Eliselouise-sorry db will be out of town for a while,hope he will be home sooner than later.

[Inanna]

It's time for a new thread my lovelies. You will find it HERE