i'm pregnant again after silent miscarriage and i'm terrified!!! - Pregnancy, Birth & Baby Forums ~ BellyBelly

aprel · #1 (**permalink**) August 14th, 2009, 01:22 PM

Hi,

I suffered a silent miscarriage (with my first baby) just over a month ago and had to have a d and c... It was all very upsetting, especially that I got to twelve weeks and had no idea that I had lost the baby. I took some time off and tried to recover with the help of my lovely husband. Now, we have just found out that we are pregnant again!!! I'm so happy to be pregnant again, but I'm so scared of going through that hell again.... I was hoping for some advise, because i'm just trying to not think about this pregnancy too much until the first trimester is over.... Any wise words from you wonderful women????

xxxxxxxxxxxx

maddison · #2 (**permalink**) August 17th, 2009, 12:03 PM

Hi Aprel,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I guess the only advise i can give you is to just take one day at a time! Hope you have a healthy & sticky 9 months.

Bilou · #3 (**permalink**) August 23rd, 2009, 02:12 PM

Hi Aprel,

I have just had the same experience as you, and am still trying to come to terms with it, don't know when I want to start trying again - one thing I have decided though, is that if/when I do get pregnant again, I will have an earlier scan as well as the 12 week one just to be sure, even if I have to pay for it at a private clinic...maybe at 8-10 weeks. I could not go through the uncertainty again.
I had a scan to determine date in the beginning, and everything was fine, and then it had died between then and when I had my 12 week scan, which was a shock. No one tells you that is a possibility if you have no symptoms, it is all about genetic faults etc. in the books. I guess the only good thing is that we didn't have to go through the choice of whether to have an abortion or not, but that nature took care of it itself.
Good luck with your pregnancy, hope you don't worry too much.

trying4baby88 · #4 (**permalink**) August 23rd, 2009, 03:37 PM

Hi Aprel. the only advice i have for you is try not to worry take every day as it comes. And talk to your doctor if you feel worried about anything. I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy

cheekyfrog · #5 (**permalink**) August 23rd, 2009, 10:12 PM

I had a missed miscarriage too, just a bit before 12 weeks. And like you, I was excited but terrified when I fell pregnant again. I was a bit over the top, kept doing HPTs, kept temping, had several blood tests and asked for an eye to be kept on progesterone levels, had early scans... Worried my way through to the 20 weeks scan and only then began to relax a little! So my advice would be to join the PAML thread where it will be okay to express your worries and you'll get plenty of support. And avoid sad stories of pregnancies going awry, if you can.

Sending you lots of

and wishing you a happy, healthy and trouble-free pregnancy!

SuperstarMumsy · #6 (**permalink**) August 24th, 2009, 06:12 AM

Hi Aprel

I am in the same boat as you so cant offer any words of wisdom, but I can let you know you are not alone! I just found out I am UTD again after a MC in June (I too had to have a D&C) and I too had no bleeding so I was none the wiser that we had lost the bub! I just wanted to let you know I am feeling sick in the stomach the same thing is going to happen again - which is my worst nightmare! When are you due, maybe we will be in the same BB group! I am also thinking of joining the pregnancy after loss group - helps when others are going through the same feelings as you! Good luck and try to enjoy your miracle! x

zstar · #7 (**permalink**) August 26th, 2009, 07:09 AM

hi aprel

congrats on your pregnancy! i m/c in april this year and am now 9 wks pg. i have heard of so many m/c at or around 12 weeks. i have had 3 scans already. my ob is great. i just had one on monday because i had been having brown discharge for a week. do what you need to get by. as i said to dh - i don't care if i have to pay - small price to stop worrying. i am taking it all one day at a time and talking to my bub heaps. i believe in the power of the mind and staying positive. fight til the end. you hang in there and take good care of yourself. join the PAML thread. great bunch of women there and they have all been through loss. all the best.

belfie · #8 (**permalink**) September 5th, 2009, 03:03 PM

Hi Aprel,

I had the same thing as you - a missed miscarriage at 10.5 weeks (I SO felt PG still!) and had no idea such things could happen. I agree with what the others said, get early scans. With my next PG i had a horror first tri with bleeding and spotting - I think I had about 5 scans in the end! But it went on to be fine (and that bub is now 11 months old)! So firstly, even if it gets rocky, it doesn't mean it's all over. And you will feel different with each PG and it's really easy to worry or read more into it. Secondly, try to schedule yourself something nice each week of your first tri... so maybe a shopping treat one week, or a movie... or something fun that you'll look forward to. It's normal to be nervous, but having other positive things can help distract you from worrying and fretting as much. You need to do what gets YOU through it and feeling ok, so if that means an extra scan or two - then do it. I bawled in a doctors waiting room to get one of mine, I was just so petrified that I'd lost the bub - but it was all fine, and I felt better after the scan. And yes, the PAML thread is great, as everyone understands... and often a lot better than friends or family might if they haven't had a m/c before.

Congrats on your PG, and all the best. I won't tell you not to worry, cos I know it's easier said than done, but it feels like forever while you're there - but just look forward to second trimester, cos it's so much easier to enjoy

mish · #9 (**permalink**) September 7th, 2009, 10:52 PM

Hi Aprel,

I just had the same experience! I had a D & C last week at 10 weeks pregnancy. it was awful. I wanted that baby so much. I am wondering whether I can start trying straight away after this....and what are my fertile days after a d & c? how are you going now? I noticed your post was mid August so I'm guessing you are further along in your pregnancy?

craftymummy9 · #10 (**permalink**) September 16th, 2009, 05:12 PM

Hi there
Was just going through the recent threads and found yours. How wonderful for you to have fallen pregnant again so quickly. I had the almost exact same experience and had a D & C on sept 4th also got to 12 weeks and thought the lack of feeling sick was a good thing. Till I began spotting and had a scan and was told my baby had died 3 weeks earlier so I am trying to pick myself up and look forward to being pregnant again soon I hope. Must say I can't wait for the month until my normal cycle starts until I try again even though I was advised to I guess I trust god to let me conceive if he thinks I can this early ! I can understand you being nervous but I guess you just have to take each day as it comes and pray you feel really sick and tired then you will know your hormones are working hard and everything will be ok. I have been pregnant 14 times and have only given birth 9 times and all the times I miscarried I didn't feel very sick or tired but the babies that were ok I felt so ill so that for me is a good sign morning sickness is really a good thing !means your hormones are strong !

Good luck and well done and try to relax !

aussienic · #11 (**permalink**) September 16th, 2009, 07:43 PM

I too have had silent miscarriages (they had a horrible name when I had them though *missed abortion*)

I was 9 weeks and then another one at 10 weeks. After each mc I went on to have a healthy baby, the pregnancies were so scary though. I honestly worried alot but I had a great GP who gave me an US as soon as we found out we were pg and then again at 8 weeks and then at 12 weeks. Anytime I was concerned I could go down and see her,

Good Luck. I hope everything goes smoothly for you

Babyluv · #12 (**permalink**) October 6th, 2009, 09:42 AM

Aprel,

I know how you feel as i was in the same situation as you a month ago and it was the worst experience of my life. DF and I are trying again this month and i know i'm going to be a nervous wreck when i fall again. Stay positive, thinking about and praying for us all.
xo

Loubee · #13 (**permalink**) October 9th, 2009, 10:38 AM

Hi, I just had a missed m/c too and had to have a D&C on the 29th Sept. We want to try again right away and was wondering if there is any medical reason that we shouldn't? Years ago, I had a m/c and was pregnant again within a month......but I'm 38 now. On the last scan, I was told that my ovaries are good and there is no reason that I shouldn't be able to get pg and carry to term. Am absolutely terrified though!

NaeNae · #14 (**permalink**) October 9th, 2009, 11:02 AM

Aprel,

Firstly I am so sorry for the loss of your first baby, its a very difficult thing to go through.

Now CONGRATULATION on your current pregnancy. It is so wonderful and it can also be an incredibly difficult time for you.

Taking one day at a time as others have mentioned is certainly the BEST advice anyone could offer. I would also suggest either coming in to BB to express any fears or anxieties you have, especially if you have no one else around you who have been through the same or a similar experience because basically they do not know how significantly a loss can impact on feelings towards your current pregnancy.

Try to keep positive - it will be hard at times and TBH you never stop worrying but do try to keep from really stressing over the "what if's" they will do your head in and they are not helpful or healthy to you or your growing baby.

Lastly - the realization that you have no control over what happens is an empowering thing. If you can allow yourself to give up control and to trust that things will work out fine (even if it takes time) you will get through everything much better.

You will have good days and bad days so just accept whatever happens as normal.

Much love and sticky vibes to you and your growing baby.

Nae x x x x

craftymummy9 · #15 (**permalink**) October 9th, 2009, 11:07 AM

Hi there Loubee

Just a quick hello and to say I had a D&C on sept 4th for missed mc and as soon as I stopped bleeding and felt ok I started trying again as there seems no reason not too but for me it was not to be as AF arrived 5 wks later but it didn't stop me trying. I am 44 so don't have age on my side. I also fell pregnant very quickly after a MC a few yrs ago but just hoping I will do the same again.
So here is some

and my fingers are crossed for you to get a BFP very very soon the main thing is to think POSITIVE we can do this even those who don't have age on their side

CrazyLady · #16 (**permalink**) October 9th, 2009, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trying4baby88

Hi Aprel. the only advice i have for you is try not to worry take every day as it comes. And talk to your doctor if you feel worried about anything. I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy

Most obs would be happy to give you extra monitoring if you tell them your past history in pregnancy. Do try not to stress too ( I know easy to say) as all you can do is take it day to day.