does it get any better - Pregnancy, Birth & Baby Forums ~ BellyBelly

rbradford08 · #1 (**permalink**) September 13th, 2009, 12:38 PM

Hey I am Rebecca
I found out I was pregnant on Sept 19th 2008.
and on Sept 23rd I went to the docter and it was a tubal (etopic) pregnancy.
I am just wondering if the hurt and the anger ever really goes away. That baby was the one thing that I wanted so badly. I was 14 weeks and never even really knew I was pregnant. I get so mad because my husband just acts like it don't matter and it does matter. WE lost our child. It has almost been a year and so I think that I am going to plan something for our family. But I am not sure that I am going to be able to make it through it. I have had friends and family lose babys but never really thought that it felt like this. Some days I am just fine and others not so fine. I just want to know if it ever gets any better...

Rach75 · #2 (**permalink**) September 13th, 2009, 12:55 PM

[COLOR="SeaGreen"]sounds like you haven't had a chance to grieve properly many men put on a brave front to protect their wives/partners but deep down they hurt too

anyway from experience I can say it does get easier the hurt and loss doesn't completely leave but you will find there are days when you wont think of the baby and others where you find you can't think of anything else

some days I still think of my first[ loss, much liek yours a ectopic...

I hope you can find some peace on thurs week..

/COLOR]

Winter · #3 (**permalink**) September 13th, 2009, 12:59 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss...it IS heartbreaking and it IS sad and it WAS a real baby...I don't think you ever get over it, but it does get easier with time.

Its really hard with DH's as sometimes, they just don't get how it feels for you. Men tend to want to fix things and they can't fix this for you so they kind of ignore it. Remember that there is no RIGHT way to feel, so DH's response is totally valid too. Maybe you just have to talk to him about what you need from him as having something tangible to do makes men feel useful in a situation they otherwise have no control over.

I wish you all the best on your journey, take the time you need to grieve, be kind to yourself. Welcome to BB, I hope you find all the support that you need here.