Looking for memorial ideas??

[mummytogirls]

After we lost Maddison we never had a funeral or memorial. I just couldn't bear to face anyone.
I have been thinking of having a Memorial for Maddison's due Date in July.

Maybe having an open house ??
Having a balloon release?
Having printed invitations sent out??

Not really sure. A friend asked me "what happens if on the day you realise I can't do it.?? "
Would it be ok to cancel at the last minute?

Wondering what other families have done. Did you celebrate your EDD ??
Is it worth doing if it just upsets me on the day ?

any ideas would be great

Thanks

[maz]

WE were honoured and blessed to be invited to a fellow BB member's memorial for her baby boy in April.

It was just a backyard BBQ and it felt like a kids party....comfortable, happy and inviting. Yes, I wont lie there was some crying and emotion but we were there to celebrate his birth rather then morn him.

Lots of girls chipped him and we bought balloon's with a little note attatched to the bottom and 5 sunflower seeds for the person who found the balloon to plant. The balloons were different shades of blue and white and come one what birthday party isnt complete with balloon's

Mum and Dad had a special one...a red one just for them. EVERYONE at the party released their balloons at the same time....it was such an enlightening thing, all of us standing there watching these balloon's floating away...spreading his joy over the world.

As much as his mum would have been crying inside and out, she held a smile on her face and I hope that by allowing us to celebrate his birth with her it helped give her the comfort and love that she needed then.

ETA and she had a reply from one of the finders of the balloon's which made the day even more magical.

[mummytogirls]

Thanks Maz

I thinks that is what I needed to hear.

xx
Rachel

[*Bree-Ana*]

My name is Briana,
I recently lost my baby girl Elena.
I was thinking about having a memorial service or something like it on her due date.
October 15th, 2009.
But the father doesn't want to be involved nor does he want Elena's grandparents or anyone either.
I was planning on making a flower crown out of marigolds being the month flower for October on the lake at sunset.
Also, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness is on October 15th so i'm also lighting a candle at 7pm here..
I'm considering like that not formal invites to the people i want there.
But its not going to be big..

Let me know
Briana

[mummytogirls]

Hi briana

I am really sorry for your loss of Elena. I know the fisrt couple of weeks are the longest and hardest to get through. I hope you have a lot of support to help you.
My husband would not have been keen either at first but as time has gone on I think it is something that we could both can handle alot better know then back in February.

I think making a flower crown is a beautiful idea.

I am still changing my mind about what to do and what I want the day to be like.

best of luck

If you ever need a chat there are so many wonderful girls online.

Rachel

[NaeNae]

I think the balloon idea is really very lovely way to say farewell in a public way. Facing people will always be a difficult thing but it does get easier over time. The hard days get further apart though your heart always feels heavy.

I am sure you will discover your own special thing to do in memory of Maddison.

For us, we didn't comemerate Nikita's due date as anything special. I felt that she came just as she was meant to therefore her due date was not significant to me, though I did light a candle.

When she died, we had a memorial service at a church and ashes scattering at home and that was our farewell. I also built her a memorial garden with flowers that bloom year round so that every day I see the garden I see the beauty and remember how beautiful and precious Nikita's life was to us.

This year for her first birthday Dh and I celebrated with a special roast dinner (only done for special occaions) and I scattered a few flower seeds that were sent by another BB member on her angelversary.

Maybe you could plant a special plant or a garden for her?


Nae x x

[*Bree-Ana*]

Thank you very much.
She was my angel and i was very distraught when i heard she had no heart beat.

But anyway, yes Elena's dad was never to fond of her from the day i told him i was pregnant. A lot of stress came with it when i told him i decided to keep the baby. He had moved on and tried not being involved but its rather hard when his dad and mother wanted everything to do with the baby.

A flower crown just popped into my head when i had thought about something special to do with her.. She was very special to me.
But that's also happening with me is changing my mind.
A special garden does sound wonderful.. The only thing is with doing something for Elena around my mother isn't all that great. I'm just another case of teen pregnancy and my mother never really ever approved of the fact.
So its like i have to do it in secret. =/

But thank you all for your advice =]

*Bree-Ana*

[ellen21]

hmmm all the above ideas are really worth while but i really feel relaxed and good when i do some charity to orphan age i really feel blessed as if all my problems are gone ............hope t will help you to

[*Bree-Ana*]

Thank you.
That is good advice so thank you very much.
October 15th is growing more and more near and its like everyday is a struggle so I find a little comfort in planning Elena's memorial.
I hope I feel more at ease when her memorial comes.

*Bree-Ana*

[rbradford08]

On sept. 23rd 2008 we lost our baby. I can't believe that it has been a year. I am kinda like the most of you I want to honor my baby angel so I am trying to come up with some ideas on how to do that. I was only 14 and half weeks but still I lost my child. Did not get to have a funeral or memoral service so I do want to do something in memory of my baby. I was thinking that I would plant a tree and tie a blue and pink ribbion on it. and release some blue and pink balloons with a note on them. I don't know any ideas?

[Rach75]

I am like NaeNae we didn't celebrate Katy's due date for us her birthdate was a day for celebration conteplation etc... and still is 6 years on

anyway I have friends who have doen balloon releases and it is majical... I dont know about formal invites etc, but maybe a informal gathering at a beach or somewhere special for your family... light candles do a balloon release Write your little ones name in the sand ...

I hope you find some peace in what you do...

[*Bree-Ana*]

Yeah, I know that I'm going to be lighting many candles on that night but other then that I wouldn't have a clue.
I've changed my mind from having a little gathering at the lake.
I don't know who I would want to come or who would come anyway.
Its more closure for me anyways.
But I could always ask my mate if I can let off balloons off his balcony or something but yeah.
I'm not sure.
But the more I think about it, the more my heart starts hurting.
Its like I don't want the day to come cause that's the day my baby girl is suppose to be in my arms safe.
But she won't be.
I don't even know how to cope aye.

*Bree-Ana*

[tillygrace]

Hi Briana
I'm so sorry you lost your little Elena. It must be really tough for you knowing her father and your mum aren't being a great support to you. You need all the help you can get so if Elena's grandparents are there for you, make sure you let them help you.
We lost Matilda 10 weeks ago at 20 weeks. Her due date is Nov 18. I'm thinking of going down to the beach at sunset, writing her name in the sand and releasing some balloons for her. We're also going to plant Tilly's garden when we move to our new house next year. I'm constantly trying to think of ways to remember her by.
I love your flower crown idea. She's a very lucky girl to have such a creative mum.
I hope your getting love and support from your loved ones
Tilly's mum X

Originally Posted by *Bree-Ana*

My name is Briana,
I recently lost my baby girl Elena.
I was thinking about having a memorial service or something like it on her due date.
October 15th, 2009.
But the father doesn't want to be involved nor does he want Elena's grandparents or anyone either.
I was planning on making a flower crown out of marigolds being the month flower for October on the lake at sunset.
Also, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness is on October 15th so i'm also lighting a candle at 7pm here..
I'm considering like that not formal invites to the people i want there.
But its not going to be big..

Let me know
Briana

[*Bree-Ana*]

Thank you.
And I'm very sorry for lose as well.
I've been thinking about it non-stop about what I'm doing to do.
But I don't really think I want to do anything so much.
Like I was thinking going down to the lake front and sitting in a circle of candles and a bundle of flowers or the flower crown but haven't decided what kind yet or in general.
And people who want to come are more then welcome.
But its more for me then friends or anyone.
But yeah.
Its just so hard when I think about it.
With October nearing its a sad and scary thought.

*Bree-Ana*

[Matthew's Mum]

Brianna-sorry for your loss,I'm sure whatever you do on the day will be lovely as it will come from your heart,we had a small picnic around the burial place on my edd,for the first anniversary I'm thinking of letting a balloon go with messages written on it also some of the hospitals have bear programs,where you donate a teddy bear to be given to another grieving family. I donated one for his edd and will donate another in his memory on anniversary,hugs...Mummy to girls-hope you found some peace on the day.

[Matthew's Mum]

rbradford08--Thinking of you,I haven't had our 1st anniversary yet but expecting it to be hard.Your ideas sound lovely.I'm sorry for you loss.If you feel up to it let us know what you did to mark the day.hugs,

[*Bree-Ana*]

Matthew's mum that idea sounds really nice.
Yeah I think one the date gets closer I'll probably decide then on what exactly I want to do but its so hard.
I can be walking in the rain and just start screaming and crying.
It still makes my heart ache every time I think about it.

But thank you all for helping me decide on ideas.

I will let you all know what I decide to do on the day.

*Bree-Ana*

[beata70]

Hi Rachel,

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss When I lost Josh in Oct 2008 at 20 w 6 d, I didn't have a funeral or a memorial, I couldn't face anyone either. My partner and I had a priest at the funeral home with our baby boy and he blessed him. We've said our good byes there. That's all I could handle. I then thought of placing his ashes at a memorial park and have a little service for him on his EDD which was 12 Feb 2009. We arranged it with a really lovely priest, called some family and friends, and then on the night before my EDD, I got cold feet and cancelled the memorial service. I felt like a huge load was lifted off my shoulders, as I realised I wasn't ready to let go of my son's ashes. We did however, told the people we've invited to come to our house for a BBQ, and it was so lovely and relaxing. One thing we did which was beautiful, was we each wrote a message for Joshua on our balloons, and then we released them, it was the most beautiful and peaceful gesture I have ever done. I felt like I released him into heaven, it was a beautiful moment, one to also signify the end of my pregnancy at full term, had I got there.
It will be 12 months since my son's birth on 1 October, and I'm not sure how I will spend the day, but I want to make it beautiful to honour my son's 1st Birthday.

Good luck hunni, do what feels right for you. I felt the pressure to do more, but could only handle so much.
My thought are with you and your family.

B xxx