Can you trust the hospital to tell the truth?

[kaylee]

I found out yesterday that I will have to wait another two months to find out what went wrong with my angel Lola. So all up it will be 12 weeks since she was born. This is the results of an external autopsy only. I'm really worried that the hospital is just trying to cover their arses as I am sure that Lola's death could have been prevented had I received better continuity of care, among other issues. Im not looking to blame anyone but I just want to know the truth so I can make an informed decision on another pregnancy. This whole process is making me feel so lost and I dont know who I can trust. I spoke to my GP today (a new GP so doesn't know me or my history) about what I should do and she seemed so disinterested and I couldn't really get my head around what she was saying. Argh, I dont know what to do

[sneakysparkle]

Im sorry I cant help, but I hope you find some answers.
Lola is such a beautiful name btw
all the best

[JellyBean]

Oh Kaylee - you poor thing.

I guess if it were me in your situation I would be a little skeptical too - I think that's only natural. I don't know much about the protocol regarding autopsy, but if it were me, I guess I would be seeking a way to have an autopsy done by an independent 3rd party.
However, I would advise against doing anything which is going to cause you more stress and heartache.
I can only pray that you receive the truth that you are looking for and that your heart heals with time.

XX

[kaylee]

I dont want any more stress or anxiety either. I guess what I am asking is how can I find someone who will be an advocate for me now and in a future pregnancy? I just feel like everyone I saw at the hospital I went to would pass the buck because there was no one person responsible for my care. Should I find an obstetrician now or go to my old GP? When pregnant with Lola I was told that I had to go to the hospital I went to because they were the only ones that would take me however now I have found out that that is not true.

[Schmickers]

As far as future pregnancies go, if you want continuity of care, you have a few options. One options is to go private with an obstetrician; this will mean all of your antenatal care will be from the same person, with your care during the birth begin from the midwives at whichever hospital your OB referes you too, and possibly/probably your OB, depending on his policies.

Your second options, if you have access to it, is to find a hospital where the midwives follow a Caseload model of care - you will be allocated to one midwife or a small team of midwives, all of whom will be responsible for your antenatal care, and at least one of whom will usually be there for your birth.

Your third option is to look at shared GP/hospital care - your GP can do most or all of your antenatal care, but most likely will not be involbed in the birth.

Your fourth option would be to consider an independent midwife. An independent midwife can do all of your antenatal care; can provide full care during a home birth; or can be there as a support person (but not your primary clinician) during a hospitl birth. Although this may not be an option to you after next year, when independent midwives will no longer be allowed to be registered due to the insurance crisis.

As far as whether the hospital is telling the truth, autopsies can take a long time, but I understand that when trust is already an issue between yourself and the hospital, it is easy to be skeptical. If you want to know for sure what went on diuring your antenatal care and birth, be aware that you do have a right to see the records and documentation of your antenatal care and birth. Some hospitals may charge a fee to copy them and make them available to you, but they must make them available to you if you request it. If you choose to go down that road, you can apply to have copies sent to you, and once you have them, make an appointment with an obstetrician or an independent midwife that you trust to go over them and discuss their content. Midwives, obstetricians and nurses use particular terminology that can be hard to understand if you aren't trained; even words that mean something in general conversation can mean something quite different in "medical-speak". You should have someone who knows the language help you decipher them.

Hope this helps.

[Berry1]

Hi Kaylee,

I am sorry for your loss hun , it is an awful thing to go through. I lost my daughter at the end of Oct 08 and her 'full' autopsy results came in 3-weeks ago, I only got in to see the geneticist to have them explained yesterday, so it took about 7-months, which I was told at the beginning would be the case. I got her 'top line' results, which did include some internal in 3-4 weeks, so 12-wks does seem a bit long for just external, but I guess it can differ hospital to hospital.

I hope you get the truth and good care for your next pg. Some of the ladies here have given good suggestions.

Take care

[JellyBean]

A doula may also be a consideration. A doula is there specifically to provide you with emotional support and to be your voice during labour- regardless of whether that will be at home, in a birth centre or in hospital.
I had a personal midwife for my first birth via a community based midwifery program. Her constant support before, during and after the labour at home was by far the most positive thing about my entire birth - which ended up being a hospital birth with intervention.

Best of luck. xx

[mummytogirls]

Hi Kaylee

I read Lola's story in teddy Love Club news letter tonight. The photos looked really beautiful.
We were told we would have to wait 3 months as well for Maddison's Autopsy. I remember thinking at the time"wow that is forever away" I then rang my GP and she said she would be able to get them early. We received a phone call from her 6 weeks later. I still attended the appointment with out fetal Specialist to see if she had anything different to add. I also took Maddison's autopsy results to another hospital to get a third opinion. You can ring up where Lola's autopsy was taken place and ask then when they think it would be available. ( I also did this)
I was relieved to get the results I felt it gave me closure.


I hope you are looking after yourself
xx
Rachel

[Tobily]

Originally Posted by mummytogirls

You can ring up where Lola's autopsy is taken place and ask for when they think it would be available. ( I also did this)

I think this is a good idea. If nothing else, it will help allay your fears that information is being with held from you or that the hospital is stalling to cover itself.

I also think Schmickers advice about getting some independent support is good. Get your antenatal and birth notes, and the autopsy results and get some more opinions.

While we don't know what went wrong to cause this horrible outcome, I think it's fair to assume that you may well be given the sanitised version if your only source of information is the people who were involved in your care. So from that perspective alone it makes sense to get some independent opinions.

I read your blog last week and I'm so sorry for the loss of baby Lola. I hope you can find some closure and some answers

[Me+him+bub]

hi kaylee

im very sorry for what has happened to you, first of all i dont think they would keep things secret from you, im a registered nurse and its a big NO NO although sometimes not everyone especially people up the top of the ladder abides by the rules, if you want piece of mind im sure you can gain access to all notes and reports via freedom of information as she was your child, there is no way they can keep these notes from you. I wish you best of luck, also perhaps get a second opinion or a second coroners report if you are not satisfied, im not sure if this would cause any out of pocket expense but its worth it if it gives you closure.

[AngelRomansMum]

Hi Kaylee,

Just writting to let you know how sorry i am about what you have been through, i know how it feels to not trust the hospital, and it makes pregnancy so much more scary

I hope you never have to go through this again!

I lost my son on May 3rd, he was stillborn, 20weeks1day, and i had some bad experiences at the hospital too.

I have my follow up appointment in a weeks time, and im worried that they may leave things out and such because they seem very shifty.

I only had my first app at the hospital at 19weeks even though i knew about my pregnancy since 8weeks6days and my doctor had sent off a referral to the hospital at 9weeks, i cant believe i had to wait so long to get into the hosp to be seen!! but i thought i could wait it out and i never thought i was going to lose my son so i didnt think anything of it.

That same week of the first app, i gave birth to my son, and i am dissapointed in the hospital about that

Also i am not happy with the insensitivity of the triage nurse in the E.R when my waters broke, she said "go to the toilet" i thought are you kidding me? 5 hours later he would be a viable pregnancy so i wasnt going to listen to her, luckily another doctor came to get me.

I have a feeling it was gestational diabetes because at my first app at 19weeks i got checked for sugar lvls and it was 9.5 but i was to wait till next tuesday for my 2hr sugar test and well i didnt make it to that, so im worried they wont bring this up, because i am angry that this wasnt detected sooner, and i am angry because if i had an earlier app than 19weeks this could have been prevented (if it was gest. diabetes)

I have a feeling they will give some reason that doesnt make them look bad, by not bringing this up, and no matter what i am going to ask why it took so long for an app because i am not happy that i had to wait 19weeks for a first app about my pregnancy, i find it disgusting actually, i'm sure theyll prob come up with some waiting list reason or something.

So i do know how you feel when you question the hospital, and i am going to make sure for my next pregnancy i get seen asap and i will demand to be seen if i dont get an app asap.

I am not going to go through this situation again.

I also didnt have 1 person responsible for my care, even after the first app i had to then wait to see a doctor for examination and THEN get an OB, so i would have had to wait longer if i was still pregnant, just to get a specific doctor.

I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to!