Should I talk to the Principal

[*Efjay*]

Hmm, first post in here... Hope its the right spot lol.

Ok, I would like some suggestion & or thought on if I am over reacting or its worth mentioning to the school principle.

Evan is now in Kindy, he has 2 teachers, one on Mon, tues & Wed then another on Thurs, Friday. I have a problem with the the thurs, friday teacher.
She seems nice enough but doesn't IMO treat the kids with much respect.
If she needs to pull them up on something she isn't very good at at, not sure if patronising is the word I am looking for. For an example, actually this is what is really annoying me.
Last week the had their sports day, so I went along to watch Evan in his first ever cross country race (poor kid came dead last). After his race, he was pretty upset at coming last so just hung around me rather then sitting with his class. There is a boy in his class who has been off school for a little while now & has returned in a wheel chair ( he has somethign wrong with his hips). Anyway Evan was talking to him & being a 5 your old kid, was pretty fascinated by the kids chair. Now this boys mother was right there & said nothing. But Evan was checking out what this did & what that did on the chair, along with the boy sitting in it, telling him what each thing was for.
Now, his teacher comes up & just snaps at him that he is not to touch kids chair only the kid & his sisters are allowed to touch it!
Now, ok, I understand this but Evan is 5. I think what she should have done was asked him not to touch it & explained that only the kid & sisters are allowed because its very expensive, you may let the break off, you may get your fingers caught in the wheel etc etc. Explained to the kid the reasons why she would like him to leave it alone. But instead she just snapped at him to not touch. THEN after evan had sulked away to me, the teacher turns to the boys mother & said, "thats right, you don't want anyone else touching it do you?" So she didn't even know if this was the way the mother wanted it to be. Seems she was standing there while her boy & Evan discussed the workings of the chair you would think if she had a problem with it she could have said something, but she didn't she just stood there & watched. Evan wasn't doing any harm but got roused on by his teacher.

Now another issue I was going to let slide but I keep thinking about it so its obviously bothering me. Same teacher. The school had a disco thing that again I went along too. While there Evan got something in his eye. I tended to it & it was ok, but very red & he was crying a fair bit. He asked if he should tell his teacher. I said if you like. Thinking, its a good idea for Evan to learn that if he is hurt he can go to his teacher. Well that back fired big time. As Evan walked up to his teacher obviously rather upset. She was with the rest of the staff having a group photo done. She just snapped at him to go sit down. He didn't even get a chance to say he was hurt. I was furious but as he walked up the teachers had finsihed & another teacher came after him to find out what was wrong.
This teacher is nice, the only male teacher at the school. But I couldn't believe that the kindy teacher who is responsible for the kindy kids fobbed him off to go sit down then didn't even bother to follow up what was wrong once she was finished getting her photo taken.
It really worried me that Evan wouldn't be able to trust her. He is known to hide his injuries if he thinks he may get into trouble (touched DH's bike once when it was hot & didn't say anything for a few minutes till we realised he was holding back tears & hiding his hand, it was pretty badly burnt). So I worry that something may happen at school when this teacher is on & he wont tell anyone or he will get into trouble for going to the male teacher when he should have returned to class KWIM.

So do you think I should ask to speak with the principle when school returns or am I over reacting?

[Marydean]

Definitely speak to the principal...they will either already be aware that there's a problem with this particular staff member, in which case you will get a sympathetic audience, or they will not be aware and will welcome the information. Be specific, like "She snaps at the children when she is correcting their behaviour (insert example)" or "She speaks harshly to E when he asks for help (insert example of when he hurt himself) and I'm worried that he won't feel safe enough with her to tell her when he really does need her help". But do be calm about it and be prepared to say what you would like done about it if s/he asks. Also think about whether you need to present the info in a feedback sandwich (ie comment on something positive first and afterwards) as this may come across more like constructive feedback rather than just out and out complaining. HTH

ETA - I guess what I'm trying to say is that Principals get all sorts of parents up there complaining all the time, and some of the parents who complain are just pains in the asses...you want to come across as having a genuine concern not just a whinge. Staying calm and being specific will help with that.

[Lulu]

Ouch. Fi, I think you gotta be prepared for the next incident and take her head on. I don't mean the hair pulling, scratching eyes out thing (!). I mean stepping straight in next time she is so brusque and saying something right then and there. Nicely, clearly and firmly, with a big SMILE on your face.

I bet was a great shock to see her talk to the Evan like that - how unexpected. It sets you on the back foot. However she is treating him like that right in front of you and I think (in that situation) you need to be the one to remedy it.

I would chat to the principal, it sounds like this teacher needs a holiday.....

[Kitt3n]

I wonder how she snaps at all the kids, all day long? I would definatly be speaking to the principal!

[MummyTummy]

Hi FJ - I would be wondering is it something she has against Evan, or is it all the kids? Regardless though, that really is unacceptable for a child so young, and to have the hide to behave like that in front of the parents. Is there another class he can go in to?

She sounds like the kind of person that wouldn't take it too kindly if you tried speaking to her directly either, which really doesn't help in resolving the issue, which probably means the principal will struggle to get it through to her aswell.

Do you have any idea what other parents are thinking about her?

[*Efjay*]

Thanks for all the replies.

Its hard, its a small school, so only one Kindy class. I haven't noticed her treat other kids this way but I am only watchin gout for my own so I'm not sure. I am going along to a "play date" on friday with some other kids from his class, I might ask their mums then. But I am little worried about bringing it up as I know one of the mums tutors this teacher's DD. So she may be friends with the teacher. Not sure if its the right group to bring it up with. They are all already friends & I will be the odd one out so to speak. They all have older kids that h ave been to teh school also, So Evan has come along & made friends with this group of boys who have all known each other from babies.

Speaking to her directly would also be hard. She seems nice enough, its just her little outbursts. She may not even realise how it comes across.

I suspect at least 2 of the other teachers know I wasn't happy at the disco, The male teacher who came up & also another lady teacher came up a little later & asked if he was ok & then was talking to me, just chit chat. Oh that reminds me, she also went off at Evan to stay away from a table even though the principle her self has asked Evan to be her helper. I did say then that He was helping Mrs X at the time & she said "Oh well he was going to write on the paper etc, thats a little too helpful"
Which was crap but I was in too foul a mood to say anythign further. it had been a long day & at this point all 3 kids were tired, upset & hard to control so it wasn't worth making a scene.

I will see how things go on friday with the other mums but will probably ask to speak with the principle when school returns.

[rayray]

TBH I dont think I'd bring it up with the other mums before the principal, you dont want the teacher to find out (if she is close to the other mum) and think you're talking about her behind her back etc, I think Id wait til school goes back and make an appt to see the principal as soon as you can.

[*Efjay*]

Yeah I think your right. Plus they may think I am just being a sissy LOL

[Daydream Believer]

I agree, just go to the principal

[mrsmac]

Just go to the principal and voice your concerns, say you are worried that she and Evan may have some sort of personality clash. She may be completely unaware she is doing it and might be horrified to find out how you feel.
Please don't get into it with the other mums, its hard for teachers when the mothers crucify us at coffee mornings LOL

[mrsmac]

Just go to the principal and voice your concerns, say you are worried that she and Evan may have some sort of personality clash. She may be completely unaware she is doing it and might be horrified to find out how you feel.
Please don't get into it with the other mums, its hard for teachers when the mothers crucify us at coffee mornings LOL

[*Efjay*]

I actually sat on it, then we had a thing with the bus driver which I couldn't let go. So I called & arranged a time to sit with the principal. While we discuss the issue with the bus I said there are are actually a few othe rthings bothering me. I told her I didn't want to be a wingy mum but went on about what was up, she was really go & said she would discuss it with the teacher. The teacher has been off sick though so nothing has been said yet.
Your right about not bring the other parents into it MrsMac and I will keep that inmind for future issues. Mind you if there are future issues may just explode in front of them all LOL.

[mrsmac]

Is the teacher that end of the week a casual or permanent?? When I have job shared like that I am the actual teacher and on my days off for maternity leave a casual came in. We job shared but it was my position IYKWIM?
BTW bus drivers are one of my current problems too! DD2 has had one that swears at the kids and smokes while driving!!

[*Efjay*]

Originally Posted by mrsmac

BTW bus drivers are one of my current problems too! DD2 has had one that swears at the kids and smokes while driving!!

OMG your Kidding!!
My issue was the driver (one of 3) doesn't wait for the kids (remember this is a 5 yr old with a big back pack) to be seated before pulling away. Also (the straw that broke the camels back) he yelled at Evan for sitting on the back seat. this was only the 5th time he had caught the bus & he didn't know, nor did I or the other parent I meet at the stop know that the kids are not allowed to sit up there (school rule) & when Evan didn't jump up straight away he yelled again loud enough to be heard outside the bus to "get off the back seat NOW!".
I wasn't actually there at the time, DH had taken him to the bus & it was the other parent that pointed out it was Evan being yelled at. The other parent actually called & complained to the school before I got the chance too.
Oh also the fact he doesn't acknowledge the kids as they get on & as slim as the chances are of it happening (but never say never) if he crashed the bus after picking up these kids, how can he for sure know exactly how many had gotten on? Simply watching as the kids get on would be enough to at least have an idea that 2 kids got on KWIM.

I was talking with toher parents today & the bus driver came up & I was saying what had happened & I complained etc, I was told not to hold my breath to see any changes. I said well I will be & if they don't happen I will kick & scream. I am new tot he area & school so they don't know what they are dealing with! LOL I am willing to be the voice of many parents concerns who have just given up!

[mr dad of many]

go see the princepal , speak about your concerns and also put in writing , then they will have to give you a written reply . you then have further grounds to stand on if it gets happening . been there before at my sons old school . what ever you do always speak and give them a written letter , other wise they just turn a blind eye.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

Far out! Why would anyone want to be so awful to a five year old? That's nuts. Let us know how it goes after the teacher speaks to the principal.

[*Efjay*]

Originally Posted by Neenee Jellybeanie

Far out! Why would anyone want to be so awful to a five year old? That's nuts. Let us know how it goes after the teacher speaks to the principal.

heheh this actually happened last year and funny enough I have grown to actually like this teacher more then the other. He had both this year again. Both are nice for different reasons but if I need to talk to them about something I always go to this teacher as she seems more understanding. I think now that they know Evan & I know them its a much nicer relationship.

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

I just noticed this is from last year! I just looked at the month and not the date