too young to leave overnight?

[allycat06]

Hi everyone
Before DS was born, DH and I were avid music festivalites and were planning to head off to one in March for our wedding anniversary (we're a little unorthodox ). DS will be almost 10 months by then and DH doesn't seem too fussed about leaving him with his Grandma for the weekend but I can't help but feel a little guilty. Is he too little to be away from us that long or am I just being silly? When did you leave your little ones overnight for the first time?

[MantaRay]

It's a very personal decision. Certainly by that age many mums have left their little one overnight, while others can't bring themselves to do it for a long time after that. It really comes down to you hun. If you want to go, plan for it so that you can feel comfortable with the arrangements. But if you really don't want to, then don't feel pressured. Best of luck with your decision hun

[Happy Mummy]

As MR said, it is a really personal decision.

I left my DD with my sil when she was about 3 months old cause I was so sick and DH was facing redundancy at work and couldn't risk taking the time off. A bit different I know..

But I had to go back to work when DD was about 4 and 1/2 months, and the only way my Mum could watch her one week was to have her at her place for 2 nights. (she lives 2 hrs away).. As hard it was I agreed.. But now, she is 2 and I can't bear the thought of her staying anywhere without me (might be cause I am now a SAHM).

[bjrose]

Its up to you. I think DD1 was over one the first time I left her overnight, DD2 was only 8 weeks old & I had to go away for 4 days. I was an emotional wreck by the fourth day! She often stayed a night every week or 2 away after that.
DS has stayed the odd occasion with mum & dad, but he's not the best at it. He's getting there.

If you feel comfortable go for it

[Willow]

I agree, it's a very personal choice. And I think for me about 90% of it is about WHO will be caring for them. I'd leave my 10 month old with my mum - not sure if I'd do it overnight or for a full weekend though, but I'm a notorious sook when it comes to this! My DD is 4.5 and was only allowed to stay overnight at my MILs for the first time a few months ago...and honestly, I was pretty much bullied into it!

DS has just turned 2 and I have never left him overnight. I did go away for the weekend at the beginning of the year but he was at home with his dad so that didn't bother me so much. Same deal when DS2 was born and again when we had another stint in hospital when he was a few weeks old.

I say if your comfortable, go for it. If you're going to spend the whole weekend worrying and fretting then it's so not worth it.

[Janie]

It's up to you hun, it IS very personal. I can't quite remember when we first left our DS overnight, but it was sometime past 12 months. Although you miss them heaps, I think it should be a time to be enjoyed, not stressed about. If you think you will relax enough to enjoy the weekend, then go for it. But if you're going to fret and worry about him, it won't be worth it, leave it for another time. There will always be other festivals .

I agree with Willow, a massive part of it for me is who will be caring for our DS. He has only ever stayed with my mum overnight, and only a handful of times. He has always spent lots of time at her house, so I have always been happy that he will be comfortable and know where he is. I am just not ready yet to leave him anywhere else. Another thing I would consider is how far away you will be.......I personally couldn't be too far away from my DS, even at 2 and a half. I would worry WAY too much if we were more than an hour away. But again, each to their own, it might not be something that concerns you. Just thought I would put it out there .

Oh, and it's pretty common for dad's to be more blase about the idea of leaving their little ones than the mums........my DH thinks it's going to be awesome, and then always wants to go and pick DS up by 10pm LOL. If it does become an issue for you guys, make sure you sit down and really explain to him how you're feeling about things. After some discussion he might see things from your side (as a mum) a little better .

[allycat06]

thanks for the feedback ladies!
I'm very lucky to have a MIL who is wonderful with DS, very calm and patient and won't panic and call us the minute he plays up a bit. I haven't been apart from him more than an hour at a time since he was born but i'll be back at uni next year so will be spending the next few months getting DS used to be being alone with his Grandma and Nana for a few hours at a time so the transition won't be so difficult. I guess I can see how that goes and then make a decision. You don't realise how attached you get to the little-uns til you have to leave them for a bit!

[mrscricket]

We left our DS overnight with my sister when he was 4 months, while we went to a wedding and he was fine. I was pretty fine too - she kept me updated! We actually left DS recently (at 2 and a half) for 2 nights with my parents in-law (again for a wedding) and I cried and cried when we left . I felt way more comfortable being away from him when my own family had him (even though he was fine and had lots of fun).

[Emma1979]

haven't had time to read all the responses, but left my dd first overnight at 4 months.... its up to you, but can i just say, the younger they are the EASIER it is for them to be left with another care giver.... as babies all they need is someone to care for them, keep them warm, fed and safe.... its when they become toddlers that they are alot more aware of where mum and dad are (or aren't) and it is a hell of a lot harder for everyone involved to leave them..... especially if they go through a period of anxiety at being left.......

make sure you get some time to yourself while your little one's needs are basic.... honestly its harder as they get older!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SammyRo]

I'm just going to echo everyone else - it really is a personal decision! And make sure it's wone you're 100% happy with - you don't want to be at the music festival and not be able to enjoy it because you are worried about your LO. If you decide to go for it, and if you've got time, maybe gradually work up to a night at whoever will be having DS - for example you could leave him for a couple of hours in the evening, so that he can get used to being settled by them. And don't stress if the first night is a disaster! The first proper night I left DD with my parents, she was around 5-6 months and it was for hen's night that I was maid of honour for. Anyway, I got a call around 11 and ended up going and staying the night too. By the time the wedding came, however, DD was absolutely fine and slept over night there with no probs (she was about 7months).

And as some pp's have said, it all depends on who they're being looked after yet - DD now will happily once/twice a month have a sleepover at my parents (and she loves it!), but I still don't feel comfortable enough with her having one at PIL's - luckily, though, they haven't offered yet either so I've not been in the tricky position of sayig no!