Welcome to the bad mother club!

[All-boys]

I have been constantly telling DS19mths,over the last few days, to stop throwing his toys and confiscating them when he continues to do it. This morning he had his wooden Thomas train and he threw it in the air. Sure enough it came down and smacked him on the forehead. (he was watching it so it landed right in the middle)
He absolutely howled!! I just stood there and said to him "I warned you that would happen" and left him screaming in the kitchen. He followed me around but realised he wasnt going to get sympathy from me so after five minutes he went back to the TV to wimper on his own.
Now about and hour and half later having just changed his bum and realised he has a big angry looking welt and his head! It is already starting to bruise so has been iced and arnica'd albeit a bit too late now!

So hello my name is Stacey and I get the terrible mother of the day badge today!!

Anyone else wanting to admit they are terrible mothers with me??? Please???

[doudou]

i get the whole warning thing but he still hurts!
we all know that labour will hurt but we want comfort and support through it. so although your son "heard" your warnings doesnt mean he understood it until it happened then you told him off and walked away!

[Arimeh]

Geez dou - way to make a person feel even better

Mate - we all do things that we aren't proud of - just some of us are brave enough to admit it ... lol.... I can't remember anything today that classes me as a bad mummy, but there is still more than half the day left, so I have plenty of opportunities!!! LOL

I probably did some sucky things yesterday, but with the sleep deprivation, and preggo brain - I can't remember.. LOL

[briggsy's girl]

yup - sometimes it's hard - you feel like you're saying the same thing over and over - and some kids only learn when it happens, so you feel a bit vindicated. doesn't make you a bad mum - makes you normal. and the same as your kidlet will learn from this (we hope), you will learn a bit more about your own parenting

hugs hun - we all do things we regret in hindsight.

[Mummykins]

[doudou]

im not here to make others feel better.
allboys wants to join the bad mothers club then i think ignoring her hurting child when he is most upset and in pain is a good way to do it.
yup it suck when kids dont listen and you know what will happen.

[Arimeh]

Well I think the point of her post was for a bit of support and to know that others have done some things that qualify them for bad mother of the day. Not some person pointing out exactly what she did to make her a sucky mother.

[Bathsheba]

All Boys: I think it's positive that you are able to admit when you could have parented better There is such huge pressures to be percieved as the Perfect Mother these days. Forums like this can often make mums feel even less than perfect.

Today hasn't been too bad so far. I've put in a bit of a huge effort though. For a start I got up at 5.40am and did lots of housework before everyone woke up. I'm calmer for it. Then after the school run I managed to do what I thought was impossible: write up a draft for another childrens book while SIMULTANEOUSLY keeping my 3yo entertained at the same table. 9/10 I resent him for constantly interrupting my creative flow. Today somehow it actually worked. Miracles will never cease.

I am a member of this club on more days than not because my "artistic temperament" is just another way of saying I can throw tanties as big as my 3yo! LOL

[beckoes]

I have to agree, Ive always found BB to be such a great support network where one can tell the things that you wouldnt normally tell, the things you wouldnt be that proud of that were done in a moment and will be learned from and not reapeated..
Not here to judge....just to give hugs.

[Happy Mummy]

All boys - I understand how you didn't realise that your little boy was hurt .. My DD whinges an awful lot, and sometimes I just have to ignore her, especially if I am changing or feeding DS, and yes this has backfired on me too..

So sorry you feel so bad, but I have found that if DD does something that has hurt her, I take that toy away till she insists on getting it back, then I explain why I took it away. Very rarely happens again..

Hope you start feeling better..

[All-boys]

Thank you Arimeh that is exactly what I am hoping for. I do feel awful with a terrible case of the guilts now but want to know that I am not the only one who has done things, which in hindsight were not such a great idea.

Not that it makes me feel better but he has stopped throwing his toys around.

[CrazyLady]

Always a silver lining. I actually think it wasn't that bad because he did get prior warning (even though he didn't understand it) and it's not as if you threw it at him! At least he stopped throwing his toys and sure he got a bump to the head but it's not as if you put him in his room and punished him or something like that. these things happen. it's the same principle as telling them not to climb and they fall

[trying4baby88]

You are no way near being a bad mother, sometimes with children the only way they understand is unfortunately the hard way. Its the way i brought up and it will be the way i'll bring my kids up.

My mum's worst moment was when she was on the phone to my grandpa and my brother was in the backyard playing and my older sister was off school sick. My sister walked inside and said to my mum that my brother had cut his hand, and mum in the middle of a conversation just said yeah yeah theres bandaids in the cupboard. My brother walked past her and he was bleeding everywhere, he had stuck his hand under the lawn mower and sliced the top of his hand, he was lucky he didnt slice his fingers off. As soon as mum saw that she screamed hung the phone up and took him straight to the hospital.

My mum has never forgiven herself but she knows that mistakes happen, no one is really a perfect parent and looking at my mum i dont expect it.

BIG dont be so hard on yourself, i dont think your a bad mother

[jasp]

Allboys the fact that you can see it, feel bad, and can admit to it...
IMHO it would be worse to go around thinking you never get it wrong. And you're not alone, I think most of us have had parenting moments we aren't particularly proud of - I certainly have although I can't remember any off the top of my head I'll come back later if I think of any...

Originally Posted by Bathsheba

I am a member of this club on more days than not because my "artistic temperament" is just another way of saying I can throw tanties as big as my 3yo! LOL

Bathsheba I had to laugh when I read this, I have had some EPIC tanties while I was PG made the kids

[Marydean]

Stacey, I too have had parenting moments I'm not proud of. One in particular springs to mind (and I was lucky at the time to be able to debrief with my sister who is supportive without being judgemental). I think the trick here is not to indulge in guilt (because it is *never* a productive emotion). Instead, identify what you think the mistake was and resolve the next time to handle the situation differently. I use the memory of my not-proud-of-myself parenting moment to motivate myself to respond in a different way when I feel I'm getting pushed into a negative parenting space. It's the larger pattern of how we respond to our children that matters, not a single incident on a single day, kwim?

[beckoes]

Originally Posted by Marydean

It's the larger pattern of how we respond to our children that matters, not a single incident on a single day,

Agree with that, i have some terrible days when im just grumpy and that makes DD grumpy and the day just ends up a right off with tanties and crying all over the place!! but i think about that crappy day and the next day is always better. and the next even better

[*becstar*]

ERmmm...yeah i've done this before :blush:

And I have moments every day that when I sit back I'm less than proud of.

My best one is DD falling on her arm, complaining for a bit but then letting it go. Found out 4 weeks later after she fell on it again it had been fractured But I can't take all the credit for that...she seems to be the tough nut out of all my kids. Giggled (and farted) right the way through her 6 stitches to the thigh Monday night . I didn't know if I should be proud or embarrassed.

Stacey.

[boomba]

Oh hun nwe all do things that we look back on and realise we could have done something different. Trust me NO ONE is perfect and we all make mistakes.
Sometimes even the smallest things we do make us feel guilt... your a wonderful mum and doing the very best you can