Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss October 2009

[Inanna]

Welcome to Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss. In this thread you will find women who are navigating the sometimes difficult but joyous challenge of parenting after saying goodbye. This can throw up many challenges and in here you will find friendship and a safe place to share your experiences.

If you have any concerns within the thread please email/ PM any of the following Moderating/Admin team for this forum (all emails & PM's are treated equally & confidentially) :-

Niliac
Mistyfying
Inanna and
Spring Angel

Their email addresses can be found here.

Please note - To receive thread notfications click the "thread tools" button at the top of this post and click "Subscribe to Thread" there is no need to post in order to get notifications. You will find the previous thread here

Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!

You will find the previous thread HERE

[BekZ]

First post!!!

Lee - Hugs. You have had to face a lot in the recent past, no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed and emotional. I actually posted about prenatal depression because I had really bad time of it for over a week during my last pregnancy. I was getting concerned that the feelings wouldn't go away. I found posting on BB and going out my girl friends for a cuppa did an enormous amount of help to get me in a better head space. I would also recommend you talk to your mid/ob if you can't shake the feelings.

[LisaL]

Lee - with everything thats been happening, the impending report on your little boy mixed with pregancy hormones makes for one big emotional casserole. Getting some more sleep is a good idea and sharing your feelings is a great way of working through them, and you know we are all here to support you . Do you have anyone IRL to talk to about your feelings?

Janie - thinking of you. Hope your feeling a little reassured that bubs is ok. Im feeling the same but doing my best to concentrate my feelings and thoughts on other things such as vbac preparation.

Hope everyone else is doing ok and all the little munchkins are well. Im good, miss a had playgroup this morning, had some dental work this arvo, mopped and vacuumed and now off to pick miss know it all from her granny's in order to get dinner started.

Hugs all round
Lisa xx

[Freya]

Just subscribing xoxo

[Lee]

Thanks girls, I reall appreciate your sane and kind words. I guess I do have a few reasons to be feeling the way I do......... I know things will re-settle, they always do, but this is a crazy rough time at the minute, and I'm desparate to feel 'myself' again. I'll try and talk to my Ob, but he is a bit "blokey" iykwim, great/fantastic doctor re. skills, but not sure about the emotional side of things. I have a couple of fantastic girlfriends I talk to most days who I can discuss anything with. And I've arranged lunch with a local friend on Friday in an attempt to be 'normal' and do something nice....

Will report back in tomorrow after I've seen the Coroner, tbh I'm dreading talking about it all again, but if we want procedures to change, I know it's all ultimately for the best.

Janie - hope you are getting a few more niggles, it won't be long and that bub will have nowhere to hide! Hang in there, hard as it is at this stage, I remember it well.

Spring, Deb, Bek - thanks

Lee xoxo

[BekZ]

Lee - You are so brave. One day what you are going through now may save another mummy the worst heartache of all. What a precious gift
Janie - I hope all is ok with you

Lisa - I am glad that you are well

[Spring Angel]

Lee, what a brave and selfless think you are doing. I am so proud of you that you are going through so much to honour your little boy and help prevent this happening again.

Well we have had an absolute shocker here, DS is getting four molars at once and is honestly morphing into a monster. He has been hitting, headbutting, runing around like a feral. I've lost my temper more times then I'd like to admit this week. The most EMBARRASSING thing every happened today. We went to a playcentre and DS brewed one of his terrible teething poos, it spilled out of his pull up and he left a trail behind him I just wanted to crawl up and hide. I cleaned him up and notified the staff who were very understanding and said it happens often. A lady from the centre then went to each table and discretely told everyone to go and wash their hands as there had been a poo incident. It was so obvious that it was DS, I couldn't get out of there quick enough. Poor DS was very upset because he wanted to keep playing but I just wanted to get out of there.

To top it all off just found out DH is going away for work for just over a week and leaves TOMORROW! I wouldn't mind so much except for the fact that we are moving in a few weeks.

Grrrrr, feeling very overwhelmed by it all.

Spring x

[~Jayne~]

Hi Ladies,

Have been lurking, just not posting, don't feel as though I have anything much to contribute - so don't. Thinking of you all.

xx

[mako]

Lee You are going through so so much atm its no wonder you are feeling so down. I think i'd be worried if you weren't feeling the way you are with all that is happening. Sending you a big supportive and hope all goes as well as it can tomorrow. Your little boy would be so proud of his Mummy
Also enjoy your time out catching up with your friends. I honestly wish I could see my friends more often than what I do. I feel bad sometimes but I do try my best.

Spring Oh dear poor you. I wouldn't wish that on anyone but truly we get that so often. I hope the molars come through quickly too.
Kids are kids and they can't help it. Most parents feel embarrased but others couldn't care less. Good on you for letting the staff know though. You'd be horrified if you knew how many parents don't bother to inform us that their child has had an accident.
I hope the week goes by as quickly as possible so your DH can help you pack for the move. Not too long now

Jayne Are you ok? I've been worried about you as you've been very quiet lately. How are the girls going? Is Banjo a good boy or has he been excitedly exploring his new home?

Nothing much going on here. AF is being a PITA atm and am seriously considering a hysterectomy once we've finished having our babies. I know that sounds like a rather dramatic decision but AF really is that bad that I don't know that I want to be dealing with it for another 15-20 years. I mentioned it to DH last month and he was a bit shocked but understands sort of where I'm coming from. He sees me having a hard time of it and is as understanding as he can be.

Hope everyone is doing well.

[BekZ]

Spring - Hugs hun.

Mako - My friend who is 30 yo just had a hysterecomy for the very reasons you are describing. I really feel for you.

Jayne - Hi. I love your posts

[~Jayne~]

MAKO _ Oh no Chook what has been happening with AF or this is a 'normal' thing for you? I have only had AF once since I have had Claudia. YAY! That is all due to the Implanon in my arm, but I'm very happy with my progress. I hope AF sorts itself out to help you bring another beautiful bubba into the world. I'm going ok, just feel as though I have nothing 'useful' to contribute, so I just read & not post. Busy trying to organise our trip to China in the April 2010 school holidays. Looks as though Alan has enough frequent flyers to fly us First Class from Perth - Singapore then Singapore onto Beijing. He is meeting us in Beijing then we have to fly again to his Province, then from Dalian to Hong Kong, then back to Perth. But the Perth - Beijing trip I have to do on my own - which is why we are looking at using his points to upgrade us and as it's night that I'm flying them, hopefully they will sleep.

BEK _ Sounds as though you are doing great with 3 little ones! That's fantastic!

Off to watch Packed to the Rafters. I have this cool 'routine' happening where I cycle on my rower during the show & then use the rowing part on the ads. How cool am I? LOL

Love Jayne x

[Freya]

Jayne, you are super cool! Ive thought about buying an exercise bike and everytime I watch my show of a night once the kids have gone to bed doing something similar to what you do. A homemade spin class lol

[Willow]

Hey all, have been lurking but not much happeneing here so haven't had much to say!

We had a morning tea for L's bday with friends today which was busy but fun. Then I had my appt with my ob/gyn for my pap test etc and I ended up getting the Mirena put it. Wasn't a pleasant experience - not that it was painful at all but he has this whizz bang chair that basically tips you on your head and puts HIS head right where the action is IYKWIM I seriously had to go to a happy place!!

Anyway - we went through the pros and cons for the 100th time and he assures me if I hate it all I have to do is call him and he'll squeeze me in and take it straight out for me, no matter how busy he is. I thought that was a pretty good deal.

So far it's been totally pain free although they did warn me to expect some pain and to take panadol etc. Nothing so far. I wasn't expecting the bleeding though It should settle in a few days hopefully, although it can last up to 6 weeks which would peeve me because I don't usually get AF till at least 9 months post birth.

Got L's bday on Sunday and we're just taking him to a play centre with his cousins and some friends and I'm making him a guitar cake - wish me luck!!! Thinking about getting my nose or tragus pierced on Saturday.. Anyhoo...other than that, not much happening here.

Lee - hun. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Mako - A hysterectomy does sound pretty drastic but I've never suffered with AF so that's easy for me to say! One of the reasons I decided on the mirena is that most people don't get AF while they have it in. Maybe you could consider something like that? Or am I remembering that you can't use hormonal contraception?? Hope you're feeling better soon hun.

Spring - can relate to the poo incident. DD did the same thing about 12 months ago but thankfully it was only a little wee. She was so caught up in playing that she didn't make it to the loo in time. Not as bad but still embarrassing for her (and her dad who was with her!!)

[Janie]

Hi lovelies! I missed the new thread . Off to watch a movie with my hubby now (shock horror!) so won't post much, but thought I'd better stick my head in! Thanks for all your kind words, and Mako thanks for thinking of me yesterday .

Will pop back tomorrow

ETA Oh, and I might not be getting much in the way of movement, but I am definitely getting Braxton Hicks!!!!!! Freakin' me out

[Freya]

Can I just say Our Miss Michelle rocks Ripleys been complaining since lunch of abdominal pain; I got worried when he got distressed when it happened so I smsed Michelle to ask her if there was anything I could do; she said to pop in to ER and so we did. He was right as rain while we were there ( ) but Dr told me to watch him. Upside is we got to see Michelle in her superwoman uniform Thanks again Michelle for helping me out with my worries, sorry we wasted the ERs time (although he has complained again a few times since we got home but went to sleep no worries so will pop in to GP tomorrow if he has a bad night or complains in the morning).

Starting to think that nursing degree I want will be well utilised by my own kids alone

[Michelle71]

Anytime Anna. Although I am more help if it is a broken bone or a cut - not that I wish that on you Just concerned about intussusception at his age and would rather you visit and have nothing wrong than have a problem with the little man. He is soooooooo cute and I am there tomorrow if you need me.

[Laney]

Hi Ladies,
I have been lurking for a while now.

Lee, It is great to see your ticker moving right along.
I was definitely depressed during my pregnancy with Grayson. I was afraid to take anything because I was on so many drugs already. Antidepressants did help during my pregnancy with Shelby by they also have side effects. I took a short walk everyday and it helped a bit. Try to take some time for yourself when possible.

Spring, you will have your moment to embarrass your DS. The first time he brings a date home!

AFM, I am just starting to feel like myself again and DH and I are thinking about another pregnancy. I am scared to death but I feel myself getting more and more comfortable with the idea of one child. I have always wanted more. I am just struggling with the idea because I have strange side effects to the blood thinners and pregnancy. I don't want to put myself at risk, I need to be around to take care of Grayson.

[Freya]

Im sure we will see you soon enough for broken bones Michelle lol

Hi Laney Whether or not to have more kids has been a big decision for all of us I think. Even when subsequent pregnancies go "well" we all still wonder if there is a next one will or wont it be the same. Some of us have struggled with the idea of not having more kids too. Your in good company here!

AFU-

Ryan will be home by dinnertime tomorrow wahooooooooo. I told him last night Im going to need 2wks vacation after the last 2wks and he said how would you cope if I deploy for 8mths if you cant survive 2 wks - I said the extra pay would be enough to hire a nanny Its not that I didnt cope its just theyve gotten sick and mystery illnesses all while he's away so theyve been esp horrible. Not to mention Stellan cutting two more teeth and my health problems. A little sleep would work wonders (and guess wholl be sleeping in on saturday and sunday bahahahahaha).
Also thinking about going to the Mind Body Spirit Festival next weekend (5-8 Nov), and get a reading done. I had one done in Townsville when I was 20wks with Stellan and she was spot-on-accurate!