Parenting after Loss or Miscarriage ~ Sep/Oct 09

[Spring Angel]

Welcome to Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss. In this thread you will find women who are navigating the sometimes difficult but joyous challenge of parenting after saying goodbye. This can throw up many challenges and in here you will find friendship and a safe place to share your experiences.

If you have any concerns within the thread please email/ PM any of the following Moderating/Admin team for this forum (all emails & PM's are treated equally & confidentially) :-

Niliac
Mistyfying
Flowerchild and
Spring Angel

Their email addresses can be found here.

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Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!

Spring xx

[BekZ]

Jayne - Happy Birthday!! I hope you got spoilt

Janie - hugs sweets, I remember saying goodbye to my grandma, it is so hard but I knew she was ready and she'd had a wonderful life so I was ok with it. My grandparents were married for 72 years and my grandpa died 8 weeks after my grandma.

Goodluck with your scan, I'll be thinking of you.

Mako - Yey for Sage's results

Lee - I have given up on getting a double pram/stroller. I simply can't decide Most of my friends don't like their PandTs, apparently the baby down the bottom gets old real quick.

AFM - I've had a rough week with miss E going through some sort of growth or developmental spurt. I really thought my milk was drying up but today seems ok and she is more settled. Plus I think some thing is happening hormonally and I just don't feel right. Apart from that nothing else to report.

Sorry if I missed anything

[Janie]

Bek, Eva is about 11-12 weeks right? Classic wonder week time (ie. fussy period). Also, it is at about this point that your milk supply becomes less hormonally driven, and more by demand. So she has possibly been feeding often, but you needn't think that this is the way of the future!!! In fact, alot of mums find that after this tricky three month mark, things settle down remarkably, and this is when breastfeeding really comes into it's own . The ease of it becomes quite apparent, especially when bubs settles down with the cluster feeding. You've done a brilliant job darl, I know it hasn't been roses for you, but the easy days will come . And I know that although you BF the other girls for a bit, I'm guessing this has been the longest? To do that with your third baby is tough yards, well done to you, and your DH, we all know how tough it would be without their support. Make sure you give him a big hug sometime and say thanks. And congratulate yourself sweety!!!

[Spring Angel]

Hi ladies

I'm sooooo tired today. I think the big weekend just took it out of me. That plus months of sickness in this house have taken their toll. I put a movie on and had a kip whilst DS sat there watching it, feel a little better but so looking forward to bedtime.

Mako: Great to hear DS's results are good. That is wonderful news.

Janie: Hugs hun I'm sorry that your G'ma isn't doing so well. I hope that your G'dad is doing ok. Good luck for your scan babe. Can't wait to hear the wonderful news.

Bek: AF could be on her way back, that can sometimes cause fussiness. Your milk will be well and truely established now so don't stress about it drying up. Hope things settle for you.

Spring x

[Janie]

Spring, you take it easy hun! You've had a massive year, it's time to rest! (Cos we know that that won't last long :lol). Seriously, just sit your butt down whenever you can, everything else can wait. I should know, I have piles of washing everywhere waiting to be ironed and put away .

Bek, Spring is right, your milk won't just dry up. I know it's something we hear alot, but it doesn't just happen like that, it's an old wives tale. Lots of mums feel that it's the case at about three months because of the hormone shift, but it just means that your baby is getting your breasts to produce exactly what they need, without your breasts deciding that they need to make an excessive amount! Our bodies are actually very clever, and nearly always the baby and the boobs sort it all out between them, without mum having to think about it or do anything .

[Spring Angel]

Thanks Janie, you are right. I need to get my rest whilst I can. Sometimes I wonder how on earth I'm going to cope with two but we want 3 bubs (4 including DS1) so I'd better get used to it.

I've got over my DVD guilt and when I just need to relax DS is plonked in front of the TV and I get a half an hour. Not the best but I'm sure it isn't going to damage him too much (lol).

Springx

[Janie]

Spring honey, it won't damage him . He gets plenty of opportunity for creative and active play, I'm sure. He needs a functioning, happy mummy. A few hours in front of the box over the next few months isn't going to hurt him, and it will certainly help you. And I can tell you that my incredibly active, non-stopping, loud and troublesome DS ( gorgeous thing that he is) has settled in his playing considerably over the last few months, and will play quite happily while I lie on the couch. So I don't need to resort to the square babysitter as much as I would have in the past. A train set, and cars and a garage go a long way for a little boy!!! We mix it up with playing and TV, which I'm happy with. Even 6 months ago it would have had to be a lot more TV. So rest assured that when your bub arrives you may well find there are other activities that keep Ollie occupied while you have your bum glued to the couch establishing Bfing .

[BekZ]

Janie - Your words brought a tear to my eyes. I am so emotional atm lol. Truely thanks for the information regarding the 3 month mark. This is the longest that I have exclusively bf and it would be great to get to over this 3 month hurdle which seems to be my sticking point.

Spring - Thanks too. Honestly my girls have got a fair bit of TV whilst I needed rest. But I always made/make sure we do one activity like drawing/blocks/puzzles/dress ups and one to two sessions of outsideplay per day. I also turn the box off when not in use..So rest up believe me you'll need it

[Janie]

I hope it was a happy tear Bek .

Um, would anyone think I was insane if I thought I could feel butterfly-type movements? I've been wondering since yesterday morning. If it were my first pg I would probably write it off as gas but since I know what it feels like.......well it feels like a baby! But surely it's too early? I guess I was 14 weeks with DS, but 12 weeks just sounds ridiculously early!

28 hours to go!!!!!!

[Freya]

Not too early Janie - I felt Jett at about 15wks, Ripley at about 13wks and River at 11wks! So yay for happy flutters for you!

[BekZ]

Janie - Yep tears of joy. Good luck with your scan.

[Michelle71]

Not too early Janie Yay on the flutters!!!!

BBL - trying to get dinner sorted and some more sewing done while the little people sleep ......... at the same time AND I just had an uninterrupted lunch Making up for the shocker of last night.

[Janie]

Is anyone with polycycstic ovaries and BFP knowledge online right now???

[mako]

Sorry I wasn't online earlier Janie but you can PM me if you want to know anything about PCOS and BFP's. Hopefully I can help you out
Good luck for your scan tomorrow Gotta love the little flutters too btw.

Ok for those of you on FB who saw my status thing..the karma thing is for my boss(can't say that on there as she's a "friend"). She gave me the hardest time when we had Sage tested for whooping cough months ago and it turns out the SHE now has it. I had to giggle on the inside when she told me today but was also very disappointed that she came into work where the place if full of little kids and then to top it off I ran into her shopping this afternoon. How irresponsible Anyway she told me how sick and sore she is and I honestly couldn't have happened to a better person. I know that sounds very nasty and I'm not normally like that but still

[Michelle71]

Nope - not harsh I love karma

Janie - I had the computer on earlier but was sorting out the feral one AKA Oscar Our day was spent with me being told to "go away mummy" and he even directed me to where "go to the lounge room" I can laugh now but it truly has been one of those days. I hope he sleeps tonight and wakes in a better mood tomorrow. And if Lily would just sleep .........

Night *mwah*

[Freya]

Good luck Janie!

Mako, karma is a wonderful thing but sheesh WC and she's out and about!? What if while shopping she came across a days old baby or a preg woman who isnt immune. So irresponsible.

[Spring Angel]

Good luck today Janie, pop back later to check on you.

Mako; What an irresponsible woman. Grrrr to her.

Michelle: I'm told to 'go away mummy' all the time. Best way to deal with it for me is to actually just walk away into my room and close my door, changes his mind quicksmart and starts begging 'come back mummy' 'sorry sweetie'.

Well I feel like crap. DH and I had a massive fight this morning, about, wait for it.... his snoring. It is starting to have a really detrimental effect on me and more than ever I need my sleep. I just lost it at about 3.30am. To make matters worse he left this morning for four days and I hate parting like that. He knows it's a problem but isn't proactive about it. I've told him the guest room is his until it gets better. It just infuriates me, I swear I feel like getting the pillow and smothering him when he is snorting and snorting..... I just get livid.

Vent over... still feel like crap
Spring x

[butterfly_warrior]

I got lost with the thread change over.

Spring, I have a snorer as well. He's gained a bit of weight recently which makes it worse, and if he's had any alcohol... ARGH! You have my sympathies.

Sydney girls, are we still on for the 13th?

BW