Parenting After Loss or Miscarriage - July 2009

[Inanna]

Welcome to Parenting after Miscarriage or Loss. In this thread you will find women who are navigating the sometimes difficult but joyous challenge of parenting after saying goodbye. This can throw up many challenges and in here you will find friendship and a safe place to share your experiences.

If you have any concerns within the thread please email/ PM any of the following Moderating/Admin team for this forum (all emails & PM's are treated equally & confidentially) :-

Niliac
Mistyfying and
Flowerchild

Their email addresses can be found here.

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Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and easy going parenting journey after a difficult ride to get there!



You will find the previous thread HERE

[~Jayne~]

OMG OMG OMG I am first!!!! YAY!

[Lee]

I'm second he he !!

[Spring Angel]

I'm third (lol).

Anna: I read in another thread that you might have mastitis. I really hope it clears up soon for you hun and that you are feeling better.

Jayne: Braces hey, I've secretly always wanted them for my bottom teeth but never got round to it.

Well I'm a dill and can't remember what everyone said in the previous thread so I'll just start over.

Willow: Hi hun, hope you are feeling a bit better than you did earlier in the week. Sending you *wonderful labour* vibes.

Well looks like DS's op will go ahead on Monday. I feel sick just thinking about it but I know we are doing the right thing because I can't face seeing him go through another horrible bout of tonsillitis. I'm trying not to think about it too much because I get upset when I do. I just hope it is over before I know it and my little lad is feeling better. Just got to get him through the health check on Monday morning and then we are a go. I just don't know how I'm going to cope watch him get put under. I worry that it will be bring back the memories of holding DS1. I will have to put on my brave mummy hat that's for sure.

Lv a nervous spring.

ETA: I'll be staying in with him overnight and won't have access to BB so I'll text Michelle once the op is over so she can let you know that all went well. Hope that's ok Michelle.

[LisaL]

Spring - Hugs sweety, yep definately need the supermum hat for Monday. Know that we will all be here for you and sending you comfort, strength and love on Monday. Ollie is a brave little man and he will be okay. You will be okay too hun, you are stronger than you know.

[LisaL]

Q for the melb girls... do you girls know of anyone that has been to St V's? Im booked there for suprise bub but not sure if i should change to Freemasons or go back to FPH?

[Michelle71]

Of course it is ok Spring Call me if you need anything - even a virtual ear or hug I have nothing at all planned Monday.

Lisa - are you still in the moment of amazement

[LisaL]

Totally Michelle, still trying to get my head around the fact that im going to have another baby...

Willow - how are you going hun?

[butterfly_warrior]

Lisa, I'm still stunned and absolutely gob-smacked! Congratulations! Is everyone in this thread but me going to be pregnant by the end of the year?

Spring, I hope all goes well on Monday.

BW

[Lee]

Hi Spring - I spent the night in hospital with DD1 when she was 6 years old getting her tonsils out. In the next bed was a 2 year old little boy (same surgery). I was amazed at how brilliantly both kids handled their surgery - and am in awe of the resilience of children to bounce back - my DH had the same surgery (tonsils) and went to bed for a week of pain but then again I think most of the adult male species is a tad pathetic when sick!!! I'm sure your little man will bounce back very quickly - it's still hard to see them in hospital going under etc. They let me stay with DD right up until she was out. She ate a hellofalotof ice cream and jelly afterwards and generally enjoyed the attention! One thing I wasn't impressed with at the time (and this was supposedly an upmarket private hospital) was they expected me to sleep in a chair next to her bed (or in her bed with her, which would have been very uncomfy for both of us). In the end they offered me a spare hossie bed, which I took when DD fell asleep. Just a little thing I remember from that time.

Sending you strength for Monday, will keep an eye on bb for some updates.

Hi to everyone!! Not much to report with me - still very little movement, but am trying not to stress about that - have my big scan next Friday so will know then how things are going.

Lee xo

[mako]

Spring I'll be thinking of you and Ollie on Monday. You have all of our support in the world hun

Lisa Where did you have DD? Were you happy there or is that the reason you're going somewhere else? Still totally amazed at all these "surprise" babies in this thread

Michelle How are you going? Was the trip back ok yesterday? We soooo need to catch up very soon. I still owe you that cuppa
I'm free on Mondays if that suits?

Willow it was lovely seeing you yesterday. Sorry that Sage kept trying push L off his chair with the table though I've got you boots

BW I honestly don't think I'll be fortunate enough to be preg by Christmas,as much as I'd love to be. But you never do know I guess

I'm going to start taking my folate when af shows this time. I always start taking that about 2 months before ttc as we have a history of Spina Bifida in both families ie my brother and DH have a particular type so we like to do everything we possibly can to prevent that iykwim?
We are still talking about Sept being our 1st month ttc #2 but I won't be charting or doing O tests or anything like that cos they all do my head in way too much. I may ask my Ob to do a Lap and get rid of any endo though. But we'll just see how things go.

Hope everyone is doing well.

[Janie]

BW, I sure hope I am!!!!!

Lis, if you're not sure, then at least go and do some tours........I personally will go back to FPH for the same reasons I went there in the first place (easy access to RWH facilities if needed). My Ob also delivers at St Vs, but he prefers FPH and suggested that I go there (although I had already made up my mind). Also, FPH has a brilliant staff of LCs, and are good with BFing support.

But hey, I'm biased . I loved FPH and have no reason at this point in time to think about going anywhere else. How did you feel about it last time? Are you very concerned about the length of time you spend in hospital? I totally understand if you are, but if you're not, and it's the only reason you're thinking of changing then maybe you don't need to, IYKWIM? Hope that makes sense LOL.

ETA Mako, good luck hun! My Ob always says it's best to start taking folate 2 months before if you are planning TTC. It's so cheap, so easy enough to do . How exciting, another TTCer! I have a friend LOL.

Spring, bummer about Ollie's op, but he will be soooo much better after it! for you, I know it will be hard.

[~Jayne~]

WILLOW _ Hun, I just read your facebook status, you must be so over everybody asking bout Boo, so I'll ask how L is going now with walking on the leg that was broken?

[Spring Angel]

Thanks for all the support ladies.

I had the pre-op phone call today and thankfully spoke with a wonderful lady who was very comforting. She went through the entire process with me from when we get there until we go home. She did manage to confirm that he will be put under in my arms with gas and that it is bubblegum flavoured so most kids take a whiff and are under. They will insert the canular after I leave. The only thing that is difficult is that they leave the canular in over night until he has his first meal the following morning. She did warn most kids are really annoyed with it so it takes a bit of work to distract him from it. Thankfully it is under a bandage so he won't be able to pull at it.

All in all I still feel really nervous but much more informed and some of my fears have been put at ease. I explained about DS1 to her and she was really understanding and put a special note in the file so everyone in the op room would know to be extra especially gentle with me.

Sorry for the 'me' post. I'm just dreading Monday and it helps to get it out.

Lv Spring xx

[BekZ]

Spring - You and Ollie will bein our prayers.

[mako]

Spring I just had a thought about the canular. I had my tonsils out when I was 10 years old (so back in the dark ages lol) but they put my canular in my foot and that was common back then for kids so we didn't get tangled up in it over night. Maybe you could request that for Ollie and I remember another time I was in for another reason as a kid and they put it in my hand but I had it strapped to like a board type splint thingy and all bandaged up. Just a couple of ideas for you.
I'm sure they way they do it will be the best way though hunny.
We'll all be there "holding" your hand on Monday.
Oh and I have to say how jealous I am that you're going to see Pink tomorrow

Janie Well I'm officially in preparation for ttc as of tonight. AF has arrived so I've taken my 1st folate tablet. you get your BFP before DH & I start ttc

Willow I love your FB message. I hope you've done a similar thing with your phone. Did you sis call you today???

Jayne you are hilarious...

[Michelle71]

Not the foot!!!! (Sorry Mako ) Not unless it is really needed. It gets tangled in the sheets and it isn't the easiest to immobilise / monitor. The cannula is usually well taped and the arm splinted so it isn't too much trouble. If they are pulling at it, it is usually a good sign they are better

Pink was FANTASTIC

BW - I hope to be joining the pregnant ones by the end of the year I am getting older so it is a no prevention strategy here and see how it goes. After having my two precious bundles I don't feel the desire (at this stage) to head down a path of AC to have another but at the same time, I don't feel *finished*. We will see what we are blessed with.

BBL - antsy DD who only power napped and is still tired

[Spring Angel]

not doing too well today ladies. Having 2nd, 3rd, 4th thoughts about DS's op. I am a bit of a mess. He keeps saying 'It ok sweetie' which is what DH tells me, very cute but makes me cry even more.

Michelle I was going to give you a call tomorrow if that's ok. Just need some 'there there' mixed with medical knowledge before Monday. I'm hoping Pink will be a good distraction tonight. I also want to talk through the post op bleed stuff again. I've been told a million times about the precautions to take but once more won't hurt.

Jayne: I remember ages ago you saying one of your DD's had a similar op. Any advice is really appreciated.

Oh well, off to sook some more.

This parenting is a tough gig.

Spring

ETA: The pre-op nurse told me the canular goes in his hand and is strapped down with a bandage and splint. Hopefully it doesn't annoy the heck out of him.