Parenting After Loss or Miscarriage - July 2009

[Michelle71]

I am home all day tomorrow and DH is working. Between 11-2 is good (DS is usually napping although the times vary) for an uninterrupted chat but any time is fine - just might be more noisy

In the meantime - this is the BEST option for DS. He is too sick too often. You have made the right decision - difficult as it is to choose to send him for an operation, but choosing NOT to send him is harder because you have to see him getting sick again and again.

My niece had hers out just over a month ago and is running around like a lunatic with no hint she had surgery or her tonsils out - except that she hasn't been sick.

I'll be expectantly waiting for your call. If you can't get to me until the evening the kidlets are in bed around 7-7.30pm and DH will be home so I can be all yours. I'm on Skype too if that helps (or hinders ) chatting.

[Spring Angel]

Thanks Michelle, I really do appreciate it.

Between 11 and 2 is the best time for us because it is when DS sleeps so I'll try then tomorrow.

Spring xx

[mako]

No need to have a or apolagise Michelle lol. You're the one here with medical qualifications not me I was just giving another option but wasn't sure if it was a good one or not..Just my experience that's all.

Spring You are doing the right thing hun and you have all of our support
How cute is he btw,telling his mummy its all ok. Too cute

[Freya]

Good luck on Monday Spring *hugs*

Im feeling a little better now except my head is still thumping, my neck is sore and my thoat is scratchy. ABs seem to be kicking in.

Still homeless til atleast second week of august when we can crash at exHs instead of living out of tiny motel rooms. The boys are so sick of this and so am I. Looked at a 2 bed apartment in cronulla today and offered to pay 2mths rent in advance if theyll seriously consider me. Here's hoping they like $$$ lol

I just need a break really. I think thats why Im sick/got mastitis. Im so run down.

Lisa - surprise babies are the best; River is great living proof of that Congratulations!!

BW - I wont be joining anyone in the pregnancy club so we can be the wallflowers hehehe

[~Jayne~]

ANNA _ You & I will both be the cheer squad - from the non-pregnancy side!!! I'm sorry to hear you are doing it rough & especially with 3 little men & mastitis. You amaze me woman! Is ex-DH seeing the kids at all?

WILLOW _ Oh & just in case you wanted to send me a 'weather' update via text, I did PM you my number.

SPRING _ Jess had her tonsils removed about 3 months prior to her turning 3. She had never had tonsilitis though, it was due to enlarged tonsils, but her little friend just had her tonsils removed as she suffered shockingly with it & the surgeon said her tonsils looked like that of a 25 year old! they were all scarred & battered. Eeew! The putting them to sleep think was an absolute breeze for Jessica. During her admitting meeting, they sealed her hands with that Emla cream so when it was canula time she didn't feel it. This hospital preferred to put them to sleep via canula & only the gas if necessary cos they said they find most kids get a bit freaked with the gas. The staff were amazing, they sat jessica on my lap, facing me, so she was like koala hugging me & they put her arms around my neck, then another nurse distracted Jessica with some stickers on a page & while she was looking at them, they put the needle in, she didn't even know!!! Then the Dr said to me, she will cough a few times then she will be gone. Sure enough she coughed twice then went limp. That was the scary thing, I didn't expect that. They helped me get her up onto the table & then they told me to give her a kiss & I'd see her when she was finished. It was then that it all sunk in, but they were so prepared for that & already had two nurses escorting me out. I cried, & cried, then rang my sister & cried again, but the thing was it was ME who was a mess. Jessica was a dream, it was sooooooo easy for her & she didn't go down with a fight. Somebody once told me if they go under fighting, they come up fighting but she didn't. She was sooooooo hungry from the fasting that we promised her food as soon as her yucky throat was fixed up & in recovery she was begging for CHOCOLATE! It was insane. She got back to her room & ate an entire kit kat chunky! The whole thing. I didn't want her to, but the nurses said to encourage her to eat what she wanted, if that's what she wanted to do. So she ate the entire thing, then fell back asleep! It wasn't until about 3am that she woke saying her throat was sore & then we started on the 6 hourly pain stop & AB's from there as everything had worn off that they had pumped into her drip. The only real issue she has in the hospital was them trying ot make her wear a nappy in case she got a bit lazy with the medicines but she wasn't having a bar of that!! & she let them know it.

It's going to be tough on Ollie on Monday, there is no denying that & it will be very tough on you, beause you know what's coming, but do you want to see him suffer through anouther round of tonsilitis? Each bout is making him sicker & sicker, this really is a GOOD thing for him to have done. Take lots of toys to distract him from the drip, maybe even some stickers or something if he likes that. The drip won't be there for long & remember he will be groggy & sleep a big chunk of the time that he has it in.

Ok, after my mammoth post, I better go downstairs to Alan. He flies out tonight. I hate the nights he flies out. I dread it. PLUS he has been so rundown at work that he has shingles!!! Eeewww!!!

Love Jayne xx

[Janie]

Spring, you are absolutely doing the right thing for your boy. It might be the hardest thing ATM, but in the long run it will be best. Hang in there, take Michelle up on her offer of a chat, and do whatever it takes to get through. I wish I was closer so I could drop a meal off to you!

hun.

[Freya]

Jayne - at the moment he is still in Townsville so he hasnt seen the boys in about 3 or so weeks; apparently he misses them but I reckon 5min after he gets here and they start their usual whinging and naughtiness he'll be over it Our custody agreement is that he has them every weekend - one night (sat) one weekend and two nights (fri-sat) the opposite weekend. And then we'll just wing it with holidays, if his family visit or if he has time off. Atm River will only go for a few hours here and there as he is still breastfed.

[Spring Angel]

Well talk about spanner in the works. DS spent from 4am to 6am coughing so much so he spewed up phlem (sp). He also has a runny nose. I called the hospital co-ordinator (only person I could find at 7am on a Sunday) and she said it was unlikley (although not her call) that they would do an op under such conditions. She said to call my Dr's rooms first thing and they would most likely reschedule.

I am still going to fast him etc but I am almost 100% sure that it will not be going ahead. I don't want him sick and coughing when he is meant to be recovering. TBH I don't think I'm ready for it anyway, I think waiting another 6 months to see how he goes isn't such a bad idea. He is still so little, I understand the benefits of getting them out but he has only just had Swine so I think his little body needs a break. Oh well, I get to stress for another day but I'll update in the morning.

Michelle, I'll still give you a call to talk over if that's ok with you.

Spring xx

[Janie]

Oh Spring, what a PITA. I hope your little man is feeling better soon

[Inanna]

Spring, do you want me to come and be with you? I am thinking of you. DD14 had urinary reflux when she was 3 had an op... I was an absolute mess. It was horrible the lead up. On the day though there was two girlfriends with me as we waited for her to come out and it really wasn't as awful as I had projected.

You are a Mama and it's your job to worry. Just remember that this is done countless times a day with only a small incidence of problems. He is going to be fine.

I mean it - if you want me I can drop the kids at school and leave here by 845am and be in Brisbane by about 10.15... I would need to be gone by about 12.15 to be back by 2.30pm to pick up the kids (our school finishes at 2.30pm)

Big hugs - I am here for advice, support anything.

[Spring Angel]

Deb: You are a wonderful woman thank you so much for the offer. Thankfully DH will be with me and Mum is coming to stay for a fortnight to help out. TBH I really don't think it is going to go ahead tomorrow. I'm worried that the cough will affect his recovery but I have to wait until the morning to speak to the surgeon.

Jaine: PITA that's for sure. I do believe in fate though, perhaps this is best in some ways IYKWIM. I'm still preparing as if it will go ahead (packing bag, fasting etc) but I am almost certain it won't.

Lv Spring.

PS sorry about all the 'me' posts lately.

ETA: on a positive note, I felt Skippy for certain this morning. It was just what I needed today.

[Michelle71]

Yay for Skippy!!!! If it is cancelled then so be it. Just remember in your times of doubt how many times he has been sick in the past 6 months and whether you would be happy to have that 6 months over again. Especially with a new bundle coming along. If you feel that would be ok then delay the procedure for a bit. Don't add mummy guilt of surgery AND a new born into the equation if you think waiting would be better for DS

[sazzafrazz]

Thinking of you Spring, tomorrow. Either way. You're right, things do work out for a reason. And Yay Skippy!

Janie, Mako, I am joining you on TTC this year also. We are going to the FS tomorrow actually to plan what's next for us. We will prob do a stim in Oct. Still getting my head around it actually and had a good chat to DH tonight. I think I have cold feet. I DO want another child but I keep coming up with reasons not to do anything about it. I think I'm just protecting myself in case it doesnt work out KWIM? Having $ problems saving up though with me not working so that's why we are putting it off. Cant put it off to far though cause the funding gets cut next year!!!

Anna, I hope you catch a break soon. It must be so tough. You are amazing doing what you are!

Deb, how are you feeling these days about progress in the legal department? I hope you are feeling less frazzled, you poor thing. Keep well now too!

Willow, Big hello and no questions to you

Hello everyone else!

[mako]

Spring Yay for Skippy. How exciting Poor little man needs a bit of a break hey. I hope he's feeling on top of the world real soon hun

Sazz Good luck to you and DH for your appointment tomorrow. How exciting all of us on the ttc bandwagon together again

To everyone wondering why Willow hasn't been in for a couple of days....her computer has a virus and is hopefully getting it fixed tonight. Boo is still where s/he has been for the past 9 months

[Janie]

Thanks Mako, I was wondering but didn't want to ask . Please send her my love! In fact, I can just send her a text tomorrow and tell her myself

[Spring Angel]

Sazz: Good luck at the FS today. I hope you can sort out a way forward that you are happy with.

Mako: Thanks for the update about Willow. I just thought she needed some time out before Boo's arrival. I will be so excited to get her text.

Well big thanks to Michelle for your wonderful 'pep' talk yesterday. I feel so much better. We are all packed and just waiting for DH to get home. He went into work to raise the flag a 45 min trip each way (don't ask, he take it all very seriously) but should be home by 8am. We are then going out because trying to keep DS out of the pantry is going to be impossible. Thinking a trip up Mt Cootha and a stoll around the gardens will waste some time. I'm not looking forward to the tantrum when he asks for something to eat or drink and we say no. Fun. The good news, the cough was much better last night so we will just wait and see what they say when they do the assessment today.

I'm feel pretty good, just glad today is here IYKWIM.

I'll text Michelle as soon as I can, but might not be until much later this arvo.

Lv Spring xx

[Michelle71]

Spring - anytime Give the little man a big cuddle from me too and an extra big one for yourself. I'll patiently wait for a text and let the girls know

[Janie]

All the best Spring!!!! Will be thinking of you guys, can't wait for an update from Michelle