The baby/newborn stuff is easy peasy...

[mbear]

its when they start school, and get older that it gets harder.....yes ???
I had a lightbulb moment last night..as they get older, parenting gets tougher, harder, more draining ...yes ???

..my DD#1 whom is in kindergarten this year - so first year of school. Has fitted in perfectly, her reading and writing is going really well, shes made good lil friends - all happy here. Have detected a little bit of attitude since starting school, but meh, i was told about this and think we're handing lit pretty well. Although last week, we found out (i sussed it outta her) she stole another kids lil toy from school...DH and i had a big talk with her, she promised not to do it again...
Yesterday i find something in her school bag that is not hers - i ask her about it, she says someone musta put it in her bag by mistake .... I knew she was lying. GOt it out of her (and DH ) that she took it. It broke my heart. I honestly, honestly felt like i had failed as a parent. I was so ashamed...of myself, of her. I felt sad, frustrated, disappointed ...
Its this discipline stuff that is really tough....when they disobey, when they have a life outside your home and they are not following the rules...thats the tough part....its just heart breaking....its certainly shaken me a little....cos this newborn/baby stuff i often feel im not dealing with well (H is still up 3-4 times a night). bUt gosh...i can do that no probs, compared to what i was dealing with last night...this is the tough part of a parenting isnt it?????

[Janie]

Oh hun I can imagine why you feel the way you do about this, but the fact that you feel so strongly about what your DD did makes you a great mum .

I only have one child (so far) and he's only two, but I've thought for a long time that it must only get harder as they get older. For now, yes we have hard times, but at the end of the day, DS is with me (or another responsible adult) at all times, and we make the decisions. Well, the important ones anyway. I think about what it must be like to have a teenager, and the worry and stress that must come with it.......man, I'm sure I will go grey then, if I haven't already! The lack of control must be very hard to take at times, when you're watching your beloved child do things, and make decisions, that you're not always happy with. Even if your kids are 'good' there's still always something to worry about.

I'm sorry I don't have any useful words. But I just want to let you know that I think you're a great mum

[Marlene]

Originally Posted by mbear

..this is the tough part of a parenting isnt it?????

You ain't seen nothin' yet hun. wait till they hit the teen years.

But....we wouldn't swap 'em for the world!

[bjrose]

It is hard. School is the hardest hurdle I think we've had with DD1 so far. Doesn't help that she's extremely oppinionated, pig headed & stubborn! Lol!
You are doing great. These things happen. She's only little & still learning. DD has come home a few times with little charms & things & I've been suss only to find out that so & so actually did give it to her.
I'd send her to school with it the next day & ask her to give it back. Ask how she'd feel if she took a toy or something & someone took it home with them & didn't tell her. Use the name of a friend, coz I think its more a reality check when they think of a particular person doing it. Maybe the person that the item belonged to that she took?
Thats what I think I'd do, but I haven't been faced with this issue yet.

[briggsy's girl]

hmmmm posted in the wrong window - DD must have somehow changed the tab i was in lol

[jasp]

Originally Posted by Marlene

You ain't seen nothin' yet hun. wait till they hit the teen years.

But....we wouldn't swap 'em for the world!

ABSOLUUUUTELY

and yet they still manage to make you love 'em

FWIW I think that's all pretty normal stuff to go through. It's how they learn what's ok & what's not, KWIM?

[Curly]

A friend of mine had this problem with her 5 year old DD - but her DD was stealing things from shops. Despite repeated talks, warnings, explanations, shoutings...she tried all approaches...she could not get through to her DD that stealing was wrong.

She made her DD return the items to the shop and apologise to the shopkeeper which looked like it was going to work...but then her DD did it again...so she actually took her down to the police station and had one of the officers give her a talking to. This worked like a charm and she has not had a problem since.

It is nothing to do with your parenting...it is about impulse control. But for her own sake it needs to be nipped in the bud early on, not just from a teaching right and wrong perspective but also before the kids at school get wind of it. Kids have memories like elephants and she may never live it down. That's a far worse punishment for a kid learning right from wrong. For instance, I still remember to this very day the little boy in primary school who stole my new Pacer pencil and I caught him sneaking it back to my desk...and the girl who took my special blue pen my dad gave me. That one was returned to me by another girl who was playing at the house of the girl who took my pen...she recognised it and stole it back! The word spread around the classroom like wildfire. Everyone knew who they were.

Maybe you can also teach her that if she sees that someone has something she likes, she can ask you if she can have one too, not to take it...that might work. And if she does do that, don't always say "no" either...if you always say no, then she will stop asking and you might have the same problem all over again.