What happened to my babies?

[Tinks]

They're turning into monsters!

Well it feels like it anyway! PUBERTY is running rampant in my house!

DS is 12 and DD will be 11 in a couple of months. Both are having mood swings at the drop of a hat and just can't be nice to eachother.

I feel so useless atm. It's like living with strangers, all of the sudden they aren't the little babies I held in my arms anymore. I understand what they're going through and remember puberty very well but have absolutely NO IDEA how to guide them through it. Parenting them has become a chore for me, I'm not enjoying it anymore and I'm sure this is just the beginning.

Is there anyone here with any advice on how to get through the next few years without scarring my children for life or myself? lol.

[boobaloo]

oh no advice here, but hugs to you, i remember being a teenager very well, and it's such a hard time for both the kids and parents. good luck, i'm sure you'll find your way through it all xo

[jasp]

we are going through the same thing with DD1 who is 14.
The worst part is she can be so sweet, but it never lasts & when the monster bares its teeth...woah.

As for advice... well we're flying blind too
I try to talk to her as much as possible, keep communication open. I want her to know she is loved even when we are mad at her.

There are times when she is just too much...last week was one of those weeks for me & I didn't want to be around her. It passed TG but in the meantime I did try to stay away, all I was capable of was narkiness & that's not fair, kwim? So I left it to DH that week. Other times it's the other way around...so we kind of tag-team her.
My mum was a single mum when I was a teenager & she had my aunt to tag with. I do think having someone else, partner or otherwise is a help.

Teenagers can be horrible strange creatures but they need just as much love & care as a baby. So when you feel like you can't do that at that particular point in time, make sure someone else can.

I know from having spoken with DD how vulnerable she can feel. So that is the one thing I keep coming back to - it's love, love, love - I don't always like her
behaviour but I love her & I make sure she knows it.

As for how to make her behave nicely I have NO IDEA & if anyone out there has the recipe please share .....?

[CrazyLady]

I am dreading teenage years because I had mega issues during puberty.

Try give them support and a little slack. It is a hard time trying to deal with all the new emotions and hormones.

I cried when Charlie rolled for the first time. She's growing so fast so I treasure every second I hold her!

[Marydean]

Tinkerbell, I come from a *totally* dysfunctional family so I've been keeping my eyes and ears peeled for a few years now, observing those families around me that *do* work. The one thing I've noticed is that families who make an effort to spend quality time - doing activities they all enjoy TOGETHER on a regular basis seem to make it through the rough patches better than those that don't. Ok so some of it's pretty daggy - like games nights or watching a movie together (of young persons' choosing) - some of it might be family rituals like Sunday lunch or BBQ or monthly get together with cousins - but if you're spending enjoyable time on a regular basis it makes it easier to get through the rough patches. HTH