Teenagers: Pocket Money If They Have A Job?

[fionas]

We currently give 16yo DSD a generous amount of pocket money - $50 per week but out of that she's expected to buy: mobile phone credit, clothes, public transport fares, nights out with friends so cinema/coffee/etc. So although it seems a lot we don't give her extra because we want her to learn to save for things and make decisions about what's more important - the top she's just seen or going to the movies.

She also wants to take driving lessons and wants to get a part-time job.

She's been a bit slack about finding one but I think she is serious about it because she wants to pay for driving lessons.

I don't want to penalise her for getting a job by taking her pocket money away but at the same time I think she's on a pretty good wicket getting $50 a week when she can now legally work.

What did you do?

I think perhaps a fair compromise would be to outline what chores she's expected to do to earn the $50. We've been a bit hazy about it and she's been a bit hazy about doing them too so theirs fault on both part.

I thought about putting the $50 per week into a savings account for her which she can access when she's 18 if she needs a rental deposit/pay for a car (or whatever) but that seems to defeat the purpose of her learning to manage her money if we do that.

[misty]

wow - $50 a week! that's more then I get to spend on me and the kids!But obviously your happy with that amount so, no judgement from me, you are a very generous person.

I would think that doing up a chore list and ensuring that the jobs get done on that list before she gets the money. However I would also list specific chores that you require her to do regardless of whether or not she earns her pocket money. This way if she chooses not to do her chores and earn her pocket money, it doesn't mean that she will feel entitled to not pull her weight at all in the household.

You might also consider breaking the list down with each job listed for a certain price, of course then you cann't complain if she just chooses to do certain jobs but not others.

I would also be starting this before she gets a job, so she knows right from the start what is expected from her and where she stands on the money front.

Good luck and let us know how you go.

[*Ali*]

I guess it really depends on what sort of job she gets, because I remember my first job and I certainly wasnt bringing home very much money. Maybe if she is making more than the $50 she is already getting, instead of still giving her an allowance you can tell her you will pay for half of each driving lesson, or offer to put that $50 away each week towards the costs of getting a car.

[~Jo~]

That to me seems like quite a lot, and I think she may think that getting a job is not necessary for her. Mine receive their age amount in dollars a week. ie my 13 year old receives $13 etc, 10 year old, $10. They are expected to do their chores though, like feed the cats, keep their room tidy, occassionally vaccum, dishes etc. Jess is 15 and has been working close to a year now. She earns no pocket money any more but works at McDonalds part time around school and does what she wishes with her hard earned money. She has certainly learnt to appreciate how much work goes into earning it and while she spends it, is considered in what she does buy. She is currently earning anywhere between $60 - $120 a week.

Jo

[AliBaby]

That is a VERY GOOD wicket that she is on!!!

We had to earn our pocket money by doing jobs. I think when I was 17 I got $20 a fortnight!!!

We also got jobs when we were old enough and I have a feeling pocket moeny stopped but we still had to do jobs and we ahd to bank half our money we earnt.

When I wanted to do driving lessons, I got given them as birthday presents and Christmas presents from all my family. Maybe you could look at doing that for her.

[fionas]

Just want to reiterate that we don't buy her ANYTHING apart from giving her pocket money. She pays for all clothes herself - including shoes, winter coat etc. etc. If she runs out and has no money to go out with her mates, too bad. If she wants to go to her school formal, she'll need to save for a dress etc. etc.

Don't get me wrong, I DO think it's a generous amount but when I see the amount of stuff that people buy for their teenagers, including paying their mobile phone bills, I think what we spend on her is reasonable (compared to our income).

[Lulu]

Mine gets the same Fi - but she has to buy her own food too! Only cos she was doing the rancid thing again and I need to press the importance of her contributing and how it would be if she left home.

When she gets a job I will stop the pocket money, but I'll lay off on the food thing (i know its a bit hard but she forced my hand), and will try to help her out with driving lessons etc.

[AliBaby]

Sorry I didnt read the first post properly. I think that is fair that she still gets the pocket money.

Maybe you can still give some driving lessons as a gift if her birthday is coming up as they are pretty expensive and also encourage her to save some money when she gets a job.

When I was at school I saved for a car. Managed to save $3500 then got a loan from my dad for $2000 which I paid off fortnightly.

[fionas]

It's funny isn't it Lulu how they're all gungho about leaving home but when you point out that they'd better start practicing by cooking one dinner per week for the family, they go quiet again!

TBH - she's a pretty good kid but she'll quite happily watch other people cleaning up around her and not offer to life a finger.

As I said before, I think we're going to have to get a bit stricter about the chores. So far I've come up with this:

Cook one dinner per week (for all of us not just for herself).
Clean bathroom once per week (seems reasonable to me as most of the mess is hers)
Mop hallway once per week.
Empty recycling.

She does all her own washing anyway and she often looks after DD inbetween DP leaving for afternoon shift, her getting home from school and me getting home from work - so she saves us a small fortune in childcare fees.

[Teagz]

I thought about putting the $50 per week into a savings account for her which she can access when she's 18 if she needs a rental deposit/pay for a car (or whatever) but that seems to defeat the purpose of her learning to manage her money if we do that.

Don't tell her, give it to her as an 18th birthday present

When I think back to how I was bought up I have absolutely no idea where I got my sense of money from. Anything we needed (well, wanted really) my parents paid for. Movies with friends, holidays, driving lessons, new clothes, school fees, tafe fees, new shoes, hair cut, hair dye, phone credit/bills, they gave me my first car and I didn't pay insurance and rego on it until I moved out - a good two years. And I will be honest, I didn't pull my weight and do my fair share of house work either. Not as much as I think Mum deserved from us, anyway. Our only general "chore" was to show respect towards Mum and Dad, be honest and up front and always let them know what we were doing, who we were doing it with and where we were doing it.

Same goes for my brother, who is a notorious tight arse. Getting a dime out of him is like squeezing water from a rock and he can take DAYS to decided whether he actually NEEDS to buy something or not and it makes me shudder to think how much money he has stashed away for a 17 year old. As for me, my partner and I saved up and bought our first house when we were 19 & 20.

I remember when I got my first job I blatantly refused to let mum pay for anything anymore. I wanted to do it on my own, and that was that.

But in general we were always made aware of the cost of groceries, the cost of monthly phone bills, electricity bills... we were always made aware of how much things were costing and sort of involved in it. I'm not sure whether it was on purpose or accidently, though.

Anyway, I'm not really sure what point I'm getting at now haha! I guess in my mind I think that so long as your daughter is made aware of how much things are costing, appreciates what your doing for her and why you're doing it doesn't hurt for there to be a form of "financial back up" from parents to give teenages who are trying to get out there a bit of a boost to get ahead, because it's not easy.

And Lets face it, she could just sit around driving you nuts bumming off your 50 bucks for the next 2 years, expecting you to driver her to and from wherever and not bother to take those first few steps toward independency.

[BeautifulMadness]

Fiona can i just say what a great kid ur DD sounds like and what a great job i think you are doing.

[Lady Zaidie]

Mum said when I turned 18, no more pocket money. So I got a Saturday job 3 months before my A-Levels: bad idea. But they did pay for driving lessons and tests when I was 17.

With DS, he will be given money until he leaves full-time education. If he also gets a part-time job, it will be grade-dependant. BTW, it's not chore-related. He's expected to do chores now for no money so I don't want a back-dated bill!

[fionas]

Yay! DSD got her first job today - working at a clothes store. I'm actually quite proud of her because she literally bugged them for a couple of months until they gave it to her. She did a trial at a cafe too but decided it wasn't for her which is fair enough - at least she gave it a shot.

We've decided we'll still pay her pocket money though. Depending on what she earns, we may put it aside for her into an account she can't touch, then she'll have a lump sum when she turns 18. But we'll see how the job pans out first.

[Rouge]

Thats awesome! WTG for your DD, and way to go for you guys... talk about awesome parenting!!!!

[fionas]

Thanks Rouge - TBH we don't feel like we're doing an awesome job but when I compare us with her mum who now expects DSD to send HER money because she (DSD) has got a job, I think we're doing OK!

[Rouge]

Geeze thats a bit rough, I hope you guys put your foot down about that one.

I am lucky to be surrounded by awesome women who parent teens well, so fingers crossed when its my turn it won't be such a bumpy ride.

[fionas]

You'll be fine Rouge because you're a good listener. I think that's the main thing - listen to their concerns and take them into account. If you don't agree, tell them why but always give them a reason rather than "no, just because I said no." I've read a few things by Michael Carr-Gregg and I think he's pretty good.

[rachel6188]

hows your dsd doing? i cant believe her mum even though mines similar in the last 3 years shes borrowed $8000 off me and dp. you sound like your doing a fantastic job and that shes quite mature for her age and a great young lady. xx