LTTTC - Success Stories

[sushee]

Please share your LTTTC success stories here! Sometimes the thing that can help someone cope is knowing that there are others who have walked the same road, endured what they are enduring, and have eventually had success. So please share your story and inspire hope in others.

Signatures are allowed in this thread.

[sushee]

I was 26, had already had 3 children and was a SAHM when my husband at the time decided that we weren't ever going to have any more kids. I was shocked and angry as I wasn't ready to stop, but he was adamant, saying he would not agree to any more kids, and since we were going to be together forever, I would obviously not be having any more anyway. We looked at him getting the snip, but as I was scheduled for a lap on an unrelated matter (polycystic ovaries) my gynae said he'd tie my tubes at the same time, and my husband thought it was a marvellous idea. Within a month, it was done. No one really asked me if I really wanted to do it, and at 26, I don't think they should have anyway, but that's a whole different thread.

We stayed together for another 6 years, and when I was 30, I started telling him that I regretted tying my tubes and I wanted to have the operation reversed. I researched my options and by the time we split up in Aug 2000, I had already decided I was going ahead with my operation.

In Feb 2001, I bumped into a really good guy friend who I worked with for 3 years and he asked me out. Within a couple of weeks, I knew he was the man I'd be with for a long time, and in April 2001, he moved in with me. In July 2001, I got the news that I was scheduled for my tubal ligation reversal!

I had the op and was then told that the first 6 months after the op was the optimum time to fall pg, so my long-time colleague but brand-new BF and I decided to start TTC! I bought a MaybeBaby and we went to work, timing ourselves perfectly. But month after month after month, AF would arrive, right on cue.

After a year of trying, I suggested getting more tests done, fearing something had gone wrong with my op. But less than a week after, BF proposed! And BF became DF and suddenly my parents wanted us to wait until after the wedding to continue TTC (good Catholic parents that they are ). DF and I agreed to keep trying naturally and if we hadn't fallen by the wedding we'd do the tests.

We didn't have any success in all that time, and after we got married in Jan 2004, 2 and a 1/2 years from when we first started TTC, we started fertility testing. In very short order, we discovered that the operation to reverse my ligation was unsuccessful and my tubes were completely and irreversibly blocked.

In July 2004, we did our first IVF cycle.

Because the blocked tubes was seemingly our only obstacle to success, and because I'd conceived my first 3 children with relative ease, we were given the best prognosis possible. Every medico we met believed we'd quickly and easily achieve a pg. My FS himself told me not to be too optimistic, but he believed we shouldn't take too long to achieve our dream.

And when my first cycle produced 6 evenly matured eggs and 5 fertilised, it felt like it was all meant to be. Everything was going along in a text book fashion and on transfer day, we transferred a beautiful grade 1 day 2 embryo which was already at 8 cells. The clinic staff joked that it was a perfect outcome, and I was sent home to wait til my BT, armed with crinone and high spirits.

On 13dpo, I went to the loo and found I was bleeding.

I was devastated. I mean I know you're not supposed to expect it to work first time, but I actually thought it would for us. DH was philosophical about it - he never believed it would be quite that easy. Never mind, I told myself, maybe it didn't happen the first time, but it will happen soon, I knew it.

The next month, we did an FET. Of our 5 remaining embryos, 2 thawed well, so we transferred both. This time I was a little more realistic, but still optimistic. It was also at this time that I was looking up IVF-related stuff on google, and found BellyBelly. I coped with the TWW better being able to talk to others in the same situation as me on BB, even though back then the community was very small, maybe only 7 of us doing IVF. I was obsessing about symptoms and trying to keep my mind off it when at 12dpo, there was blood on the tissue when I went to the loo. I left work and rushed to the clinic, but by the afternoon, AF had arrived. The call to the clinic confirmed what I already knew.

I immediately called my FS and hounded him into allowing me to do a stim cycle straight away, and when he relented, I scheduled annual leave for the duration of my impending TWW. DH and I went mad reading up on anything and everything, and we decided that bedrest was the way to go.

My third cycle (2nd stim) we collected 7 eggs and 6 fertilised. We transferred 2 grade 1 embryos, a 6 cell and a 4 cell, and the minute I got home, I got into bed and barely left it for two weeks. It was hell, but I wanted to give it everything we had.

Two days before my BT, my sister called. Her first words to me were 'How could this be happening to me?' She then told me she had 'accidentally' fallen pg to her new BF. She came straight over and did a HPT at my house, then called her BF and my parents to tell them the news from my home phone. I sat there being supportive but I was dying inside. The very next day, I started bleeding.

My FS thought it might be best if we went straight into an FET and we did, transferring 2 embryos the next month. I tried bedrest for a few days, and then went back to work. It was my fourth cycle, and in my mind, the law of averages meant that surely I would be pregnant by this cycle, but tbh I wasn't surprised to find myself bleeding again on 12 dpo. Christmas was coming, so we were forced to have a break now. I felt mentally and emotionally exhausted, and despite wanting to keep plugging along, knew it was time to stop for a little while.

That Christmas turned out to be one of the worst times of my life, as it happened. My sister was already showing, and all everyone talked about was her pregnancy and about babies. My mum joked about how I could stop trying now because she had enough grandchildren, my BIL joked that he was so virile that he could get my sister pg without trying. The look on my DH's face when he heard that broke my heart into little pieces. I felt like I would never ever smile again. I didn't know we could be so hurt or feel so alone.

When January rolled around, and a new (3rd) stim cycle started, everything else in our lives went pear-shaped. We got into a nasty custody arguement with my XH over my older kids, and my beloved furbaby of 11 years, my cat Trini, passed away unexpectedly, these events occuring all within a few days of each other. It seemed like all I was doing between injections was crying. So I suppose it was no surprise that when I went for my scan, they only saw 3 small follies. We discussed it with my FS and agreed to cancel the cycle. I was now on a break again, this time for two months.

In those two months, I read a lot, researched a lot, and decided that perhaps I had been too negative. People talked about being positive, and how visualisation helped them, so I made some decisions. I started seeing a naturopath and an acupuncturist. I even began going to a chiropractor. I began to excercise and lost 6 kgs and was on the road to losing much more when I started stim cycle number 4. A few blood tests into the cycle and my levels weren't moving. I called my FS to ask about it and he asked me what I was doing differently, and I told him about the alternative stuff and the weight loss. He immediately and sternly told me to stop trying to lose weight now, as my fertility issue was not weight-related, and I was likely stuffing my my cycle by dieting. I stopped dieting that very minute.

After a longish cycle, we did eventually manage to get 9 eggs, but of varying maturity. Only 6 fertilised this time, and we transferred 2 grade 1 at day 2. This cycle, I kept up the positivity. I sang to my embryos, talked to them, made plans for them, visualised them sticking and growing and evolving. I told my DH that I felt differently this time, and he agreed and said he did too. My BT was on Good Friday and we made plans to see my family, including my heavily pg sister, for Easter lunch. We had a good feeling.

On Good Friday, DH and I walked hand-in-hand to the clinic. This was the first cycle where AF had not shown up before the blood test and we felt it meant something. The clinic nurse also said she felt like this might be it, and we smiled at each other, feeling like we had a little secret between us. We got home from the clinic and the day yawned in front of us. The phone call couldn't be made until 2pm, so DH and I decided to nap until then. We fell sleep holding hands.

At 1.30pm, I got out of bed to prepare, and went to the loo.

I was bleeding.

I can't begin to tell you how dark the days that followed were for us. We didn't eat, we didn't speak, even to each other, all we did was walk. We didn't turn up for the Sunday lunch, and no one called about it either, which was a blessing. We just kept leaving the house at 11am and walking 4-6 hours, until we were both absolutely exhausted. Then we'd sleep, and the next day we'd start all over again, walking. I lost 4 kgs in 4 days, my DH even more. My DH talks about how he felt like we were alive, but not alive. I know what he means.

On the Tues, he went to work and that night, I broached the subject. I knew we couldn't keep avoiding it. We talked for hours and decided that this was changing us too much, that our older kids were suffering, that there needed to be an end date. We had gone from the people who everyone believed would be pg in no time, to the people at which the staff at the clinic looked at in sympathy. Even here on BB, it felt like everyone was moving on but me.

The next day I made an appt with my FS. We met with him and discussed our options. We'd only done day 2 transfers so far and I wanted to try something else. He suggested that we thaw our remaining embryos to blastocyst stage, and if that failed, we'd do a full stim blastocyst cycle. We agreed and I also said that as I had had not the tiniest trace of HCG in my system in all my previous cycles, I also wanted to try Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD), which at that time, was incredibly new to Perth still. I had a well-documented history of failures to implant, I was a perfect candidate.

But FS said we'd try to blast cycles first, so we agreed. 3 more cycles at most.

The FET that followed was pretty much doomed from the start. The 4 remaining embryos we had didn't thaw well, and within a day, two had succumbed and the remaining two were looking worse for wear. I got a call from the clinic saying they thought it might be better if I transferred on day 3 than wait any longer, and spooked, I agreed. It was no surpise to any of us when that cycle, too, failed.

The next month, May 2005, my sister delivered a beautfiful baby girl by elective c/s. My sister had asked me to be the little girl's godmother and I had cried with gratitude. But going to see my sister and her new baby in hospital was sooo hard. My DH stood in the corner watching all the well-wishers and the new mum and bub with the saddest eyes I'd ever seen. I almost couldn't bear to look at him.

That night we talked and realised that something was changing in us. We were looking to a future without a child. Not out of choice, but nonetheless, we could now see it. It was more real now to us than it had ever been, and we were finally starting to accept it. We had at that stage done 7 cycles - 4 stim cycles, 3 FETs - and had not registered the slightest trace of HCG in all that time. Add that to the 3 years we tried naturally without any succcess, and we believed the writing on the wall was clear: we had to face the fact that we might never have a child together.

We moved into our 5th stimulated cycle with wariness. We were therefore surprised when my levels went off like a rocket and we collected 10 evenly matured eggs at EPU. 9 fertilised and of those, 3 went on to become blastocysts. Five days after EPU, we transferred two Grade 1 blastocysts and froze the last.

The TWW was very short, only 9 days, but I knew I was a quite jaded at that stage, and felt in my heart we were just going through the motions. I did an HPT at 11dpo, and when it came back -ve, I was resigned to another BFN. My brother came on a visit from overseas at that time, and the day before my BT, he came for dinner. We talked about our journey with him, and I told him that if DH and I never ever had a child together, that I would still consider myself so very blessed to have the life I have. That night DH and I talked about how I was feeling, and I told him I hadn't the slightest symptoms, where in previous cycles I'd had many. The only thing I was feeling was very bloated, to the point of discomfort, and it was why the clinic had asked me to come in for my BT a day early, fearing OHSS. We planned our next cycle, both aware that it was to be our last.

The next day I went for my BT then shot off to a work training session. DH was given instructions to call the clinic at 2pm and to sms me the result we were both expecting. When 2pm rolled around and I didn't get an sms, I started getting peeved, thinking he'd forgot. When my phone rang at 2.15pm in a deathly quiet training room, I got angry with him. I picked up the phone ready to give him a piece of my mind.

But my big, 6ft 4in, strong-and-silent husband was crying. "You're pregnant" was the first thing he said.

And that's when I started crying too!

Charles Alan was conceived on our 8th cycle. He is the light of our lives, the spoilt younger brother of 3 much older siblings, and the very much loved, very precious grandson to both sets of grandparents. He was born at 1.59pm on the 16th of April 2006 (Easter Sunday!) weighing 7lb 14oz. He was worth every minute of every day of our journey, and to this day, I cannot believe he is here and he is mine.

And even though he's here, I am truly changed forever by the experiences DH and I had, and will be a LTTTCer at heart forever.

In Dec 2007, we transferred our last blastocyst embryo and it didn't stick. Our TTC journey is now over, but never ever forgotten.

[RH76]

Hi Sushee,

Thank you for posting this thread. Although I can't really add to it in terms of a success, it is encouraging to know that some people do get BFPs!

Still holding out for mine, and after reading about your experiences, it does seem to be perseverance and a numbers game.

Thanks again for the encouragement and a glimpse of a little light at the end of what has become a very long, dark tunnel.

[Reags]

Hi Sushee,

how could I NOT drop a line on this thread after you asked me. I actually felt really chuffed that you thought it a good idea, hopefully giving inspiration to others in (what was) our boat !

Here is my story ..................................

In 1997 I was blessed with a baby boy (natrually) with then partner, after not trying for long at all. All my family had emmigrated to Adelaide 7 years before, while I married and settled in the North of England (then 27 yrs old).

Unfortunately partner and I seperated in June 1998 and I proceeded to go back and forth with DS too and from UK for about 3 years. In between living with friends and making my way as a single mum.

February 2000, I met my now ROCK and DH (I was then 30). Meeting through mutial friends we moved in together 6 months later. He had previously been married before too, but with NO kids.

January 2001 to my surprise I took a HPT and found it to be positive. Although a bit of a shock, we both were delighted and not for one moment, did I think anything would / could go wrong !!!
Two weeks or so after the test I started to bleed and Dr sent me for a scan, NO sac was found. But after taking Hcg blood test they were found to be going slowly up. Consultant soon confirmed it was a an ectopic pregnancy, probably between 6 - 9 weeks. I was kept in hospital and had my left tube removed !!

Two weeks to the day ....................... on going to bed I suddenly awoke with 2 paramedics in my room !!! I had suffered a major seizure (poor DH thought I was having a heart attack). Only to have further test and told I had Epilepsy. The ectopic had bought it to the fore-front (as it has been lying dormant since my teens and the stress triggered it).

We moved on and proceeded to keep trying, I seemed to fall pregnant every 6 months or so. Unfortaunately each time they ended in M/C (usually between 6-7 weeks). I remember each time I would go to the EPU praying for them to find a heartbeat .........................it never happend. Between 2001 and 2004 (just before we emmigrated to Adelaide too) I had 5 M/C !!!

We settled well over here and started to try again .................... took another HPT in June 2005 ............. positive. We thought all our Christmas's had come at once. Start of a new life downunder and a new baby.
By that time we had already joined a fertility clinic (who had been doing test's on previous m/c). They then confirmed I was peri-menopausal (hence low, poor quality remaining eggs, I was 35). I went in for a routine scan, consultant seemed very quiet and confirmed my abdomen was full of blood. I had had another ectopic, but this one was very serious. The right remaining tube had ruptured, I was bleeding internally and rushed straight to hospital. Hcg count was found to be 26,000, I was probably between 9-13 weeks !!! Hence remaining tube had now gone.

Our only option was IVF ....................... so the journey began !!!!

To cut a long story short we did 3 cycles of icsi, back to back in 2006.
1st: 5 eggs, 2 embies BFN
2nd: 3 eggs, 2 embies BFN
3rd: 1 egg ................. cancelled the cycle.

January 2007 DH and I had a long hard talk about whether or not to keep riding this "rollercoaster". I decided I could put myself through it ONE more time, I wanted nothing more for DH to become a Daddy.

March that year I started my 4th cycle (icsi) and used another injection along with all the other meds. Luveris ............. which I believed helped my poor quality eggs (it boost the eggs during a critical time of harvesting).

Each previous cycle had ended with AF arriving the day before the blood test. This time I was determined to be MORE focussed ......................... I was so much more positive in my self and would take 20 mins a day to focus on my 2 embies that had been put back in April (that cycle I produced 6 eggs).

The night before I was due to test, I had not bled and I knew in my gut-feeling that this time it had worked.
DH and I went for the test at the clinic and waited in the city for the call. IT CAME ............................... "Sarah, you've finally done it" said the nurse, Hcg was 284.

That was May this year .................................. My long awaited baby girl Angel is due this Monday !!!
I still pinch myself now, when I feel my bubs moving inside me. She truely is an angel sent by God. I feel so blessed and just want others out there to know that IT CAN HAPPEN !!!!!!

I will never, ever forget my other little bubs that never made it too this world. They will be in my heart always and I know when this baby is born I shall be VERY emotional, knowing my journey has finally come to an END. I will never forget the feeling of laying on the bed waiting to see/hear her heartbeat ............. many times before I had been let down, SHE truely is a fighter.

Stay strong ladies and gentlmen (yep, the partners are often over looked). There is a GOD .......................... he will guide your heart if you stay focused.

Much love and luck to you all

Reags Xx

[sushee]

Thanks for posting your story Reags. I am so glad you have decided to share it with us! It is very inspiring, and is a great addition to this thread.

[katkins]

Sushee and Reags, you are two very strong women and reading these stories brings tears to my eyes. I am so very happy u got ur prayers answered and I'll keep praying for all those who are TTC.

[Lissie]

Hi Ladies,

Thankyou for posting your stories - it does give hope. I often search the web for success stories such as yours to keep me going - there have been times in the past when i think i am just wasting our time/emotions and money. But something in me/us just says keep going so here i am just turned 43 and still no kids but i just don't want to give up - i will do just about anything to have a baby - we are too old to adopt in australia and the wait for overseas is ridiculous and some countries still think we are too old. I pray everyday that someone up there will hear us and answer our prayer.
All i know is we are blessed to have wonderful donors and hopefully this will give us our long awaited bundle of joy - oh we so hope
If anyone else has a wonderful /inspirational story please share with us - it does help other to get thru. Again thankyou ladies for sharing - even if you made me cry at times.

[Kimnastics]

Here is my LTTTC story . Sorry it is very long.

Six months after our wedding, DH and I decided it was time to have children. We had heard how easy it is to fall pregnant from friends, family and the education system, so assumed I would be pregnant within a few months. This was in April 2000 and I was 22. After 6 months, DH had a GP appointment so I made him ask the dr about charting temps as I had heard it mentioned but didn't know anything about it. The GP fobbed him off telling him that 98% of couples fall pg within the first 12 months of TTC so he wouldn't help until we had been TTC for at least 12mths (I would seriously question the accuracy of this statistic BTW). So we waited another 9months, then went to a different dr who explained charting temps and CM and also sent us for ovulation and semen analysis tests. All tests came back OK and after another few months of nothing happening, we asked what else could be done. The GP referred us to an IVF clinic but told us that we would almost certainly be pregnant by the time we got in to see the FS. We got a cancellation appt so in May 2002, after 2 yrs TTC we finally got in to see a FS.

I had a laparoscopy the next week (found and cleaned up some endo) then we started on IUIs. I had 3 IUIs in consecutive months, then we progressed on to IVF. We had to take a break at this stage to save up to do IVF but returned one year later optimistic. The FS felt my chances of success were very good due to my age (25 by this stage) and general good health.

So November 2003, we had our first stimulated IVF cycle. But it didn't go as well as I'd hoped - we needed ICSI due to the poor semen sample, and I had only 5 eggs collected. I was so upset as I was hoping for a lot more, but we had one embryo transferred and 2 frozen from this cycle (all fairly poor quality though). AF came about 3 days before the HPT, and I spent two days in tears that cycle (first day of AF and a couple of days later at the negative HPT). I decided to put everything into my next IVF cycle so started acupuncture and reflexology and organised 3 weeks off work to coincide with the next cycle. I convinced the FS to do another stimulated cycle instead of using the frozen ones (I didn't hold much hope for the poor quality embryos being successful especially after being frozen and thawed).

My 2nd stimulated IVF cycle we still needed ICSI, but I had 16 eggs collected, 2 embryos transferred and 10 frozen (and the quality was better too). And about a week later I felt something different like a rock in my belly and no AF before the HPT. I already suspected I was pregnant and was overjoyed to get my first BFP! It was so hard not to tell the world as I was so excited. My FS booked me in for an u/s at 7weeks. He found a blighted ovum, but kept looking and found a 6wk old foetus with no heartbeat. I was absolutely devastated and it took a few hours to really sink in. I took yet more time off work, had a D & C, attended mandatory counselling and took another break from TTC. This is when I really needed the support from BellyBelly but we didn't have the internet on so I had to cope on my own (DH wouldn't talk about it and don't get me started on the rest of the family).

I returned to IVF later that year for a stimulated FET cycle, but of the 3 thawed none continued to grow after the first day so this cycle was cancelled. The following month, I did a natural FET cycle with two transferred but BFN. The next cycle we decided to change to blastocyst transfer, and did another full stimulated cycle (didn't need to use ICSI this time). I had 20 eggs collected, 1 transferred and 15 frozen but yet another BFN.

I did another 3 Natural FET cycles, before, in November 2006, I got a BFP. Once again I felt implantation (2 days after ET this time) and just had to try to stay calm until the 7 week u/s. The 7 wk u/s showed a strong heartbeat and I was overjoyed. I thought I could relax then, but spent the next eight months worrying. However, on the 9th Aug 2007, my beautiful healthy boy was born - Hayden Kyle at 3.87kg.

Hayden is now 5 mths old, is much-loved and everyday I feel so lucky to have him. The LTTTC journey has changed me and will be with me forever but everyday I am grateful for my healthy boy. I have 11 snowbubs left and will be returning to IVF this year hoping to be blessed with more children.

[Baby Bliss]

Love, love, love, this thread idea.

Sushee... I am in tears. I think I was around a couple of years back for part of your journey (05, I was doing IUI then), but was never able to piece together the rest since my return to BB last September. I am just so thrilled for you, what an amazing story of courage, determination, persistence and love.

Reags... What a painful time you have had. To finally see that heartbeat and go to the scans and see that life must have been an incredible experience for you at long last.

I am really encouraged to read those stories of secondary infertility too, they make me feel more normal, and less alone. I don't know many people with secondary infertility, so its sort of tough at times.

Kimnastics... The dark days you must have had. I can feel it from what you wrote. I guess we all have them, but to see it in a new perspective, from the other side, is so encouraging.

Thank you all so much for sharing, I hope many more follow suit.

[sazzafrazz]

Hi all,
Sushee, I had been waiting on the safe arrival of my dearest daughter before posting in here and last night spent at least an hour on my story only to have it completely dissapear when I hit the enter key once!!! So annoyed! Anyhow, I mean to do it again soon ... I havent forgotten!
Sazz

[Mon]

I am loving this thread too ... Sushee was in tears over your story! Reags and Kimnastics thanks for sharing your stories! It is so inspiring and it really pays to be positive!!
Look forward to seeing more stories
Mon

[monnie]

We tried for 3 years before our little one came along.

I had a history of fibroids, had had some surgery for this but had been told that all should be fine...

It wasn't...

In the first year, I just kept telling myself "this will happen..it just takes time". Meanwhile, all our friends were started to fall pregnant. Strangely, I always had this inkling that it might be tricky for me...but we still lived in hope. Didn't do anything special in year 1...just waited and waited!

In the second year, things started to get a bit tougher. I went to see several Gynaecologists, with little success. I had some ultrasounds which revealed more fibroids, but again, was told they shouldn't be impacting upon my fertility. Some of our friends now had babies. It was certainly getting tougher...people stopped asking when we were going to have kids, knowing that there was probably 'something wrong'.

Another year went by. Still no success. Never a confirmed pregnancy...just period after period after period. 36 misses in a row!!! Heart breaking actually. We started looking into international adoption thinking this was going to be the only way for us. No doctor could give us answers. I had ultrasound after ultrasound. My DH had all the tests. It was almost more depressing when they told us he had 'super sperm'..."great...it's really my fault!"

We started doing serious charting. Doing the deed lost all it's romance!

Finally we went and saw a fertility specialist...our one last shot. We had pretty much decided not to go down the IVF route...not because I'm anti-IVF, I just didn't know how I'd cope with the disappointment. We wanted to see if anything could be done before we finally set our hearts on adoption.

So we saw the FS...I went through a million more tests. 25 blood test, I think! A HSG, more ultrasounds...again, no answers! Just 'unexplained infertility'. The FS decided to try me on Clomid. Although my periods were fine and I was ovulating, I think the Clomid was prescribed as being a bit of a hormone turbo boost. DH had his own little "boost" (if you get my drift) and we went for it.

And amazingly...a little miracle. Our first confirmed conception after 3 years. First round of clomid! We also used pre-seed, which I'm sure helped.

The pregnancy, although a little scary, went so smoothly. We were so fortunate. The only 'glitch' is that our little boy never engaged and I was told I needed to have a c/s. But after waiting for so long, I got to the point that I really didn't care how he came out...as long as he arrived!!!

And...at 40 weeks and 8 days...Felix was here!

He's just gorgeous. He's now nearly 6 months!

I don't think I'll ever forget the journey we went through to get him...but rather than feeling distressing, my memories of the journey only reinforce how special he is.

I wouldn't wish LTTTC on anybody...but I'd wait 3 years again to get our special little boy!

[sazzafrazz]

The road to having Celeste...

We always knew we would have trouble conceiving as DH had undecended testes which weren't operated on till he was almost 7years old. He was left with low sperm count, little mobility and bad morphology (shape): the trifecta! We had discussed it when I was around 18 (we married when I was 20) and decided we would do whatever was needed at the time.
When we decided the time was right (March 1997 Me:23 DH 25) we went straight to the GP for tests to confirm what would need to be done and were referred straight to the FS in Adelaide. We had the usual introductory appointments to discuss what could be done and organise tests but luckily for us we already knew the Male factor infertility side of things. By November we had all the blood tests done to make sure there were no sperm anitbodiesor hostile mucous in me, the usual STD screening, scans and bloods to check I was ovlulating and also a Laparoscopy with dye to check that my fallopian tubes weren't blocked. All was completely normal with me and I still don't know why they bothered me with having the lap and dye as there was almost no chance of DH swimmers making the journey on their own so we would be doing the full ICSI thing.
We began our first fully stimulated IVF ICSI cycle in mid 1998 with Synarel nasal spray twice daily and the Puregon injections once a day. I was a complete ball of stress throughout as we were keeping it all to ourselves and didn't discuss it with anyone. In fact it took almost 9 years to tell my best friend about it all - not something I would recomend anyone else do! The EPU resulted in 6 eggs being collected but only 2 fertilising and being suitable for transfer on day 3. The moment I woke from the EPU I looked at that number written on my hand and my hopes sank already. I was dissapointed in the number. None were frozen. BFN. For some reason I had kind of expected it to work first time, it does for some doesn't it? I was devestated and inconsolable. Days of crying ensued. Around this time I began plummeting into depression.
During this time the two couples we were closest to had had their first babies. I found it so hard to be completely happy for them as I knew we were starting down a hard road. They did things together and we felt left out a bit.
Second full stimulated cycle happened late 1998 with 8 eggs being collected. I was still dissapointed with the number but at least it was better than first time. Only 2 were suitable for transfer on day 3 though and still none for the freezer. BFN. This cycle was harder on me emotionally. I did the trigger injection in the car in a carpark at a wedding reception we were attending and missed the cake cutting. I was embarrassed and ashamed and didn't want anyone to know still. We hadn't even told our parents what we were doing and my folks were still unaware that there would even be a problem.
People DH worked with began to start their families. I later realised that he hated coming home from work to break the news that someone else was pregnant, not knowing if I would dissolve into tears or become angry as the result varied day to day. Others I knew would occasionally comment "I thought you would have had kids by now" or something equally innocent (although a little rude) and I would want to tear their face off. I think DH was wondering who this mad woman he was married to was but years later when reading books about LTTTC I realised that all these emotions are actually completely normal. We looked at adoption locally but realised the waiting time put it out of the equation for us.
We began our third fully stimulated cycle in mid 1999. ( The cost and emotional toll forced us to take things reasonably slowly) and againwe had 8 eggs picked up. This time I did the trigger injection in the loo of a pub while out with friends. A good way to up the stress levels while trying to keep things quiet. Things went a little better this time though with 2 transferred on day 3 and 2 frozen!!! Although we had another BFN we had a freezer full of hope. This time I had not had a bleed till hours after the blood test was taken and we went to the Dr for the results. I can still see his face when he called us into his rooms to tell us the result. (Later, he would phone me while I was still on the operating table after the ceasarian to congratulate us!)
Our natural frozen cycle took place in feb 2000. Of the 2 embryos frozen, only one thawed nicely but still resulted in a BFN. Following this I had a near breakdown and told my parents everything. I should have done so years before. It turns out that they had kind of figured out we were doing some sort of IVF thing and were very supportive. Dad even rushed off to the library to read all about it on the day I phoned them a blubbering mess to tell them.
Due to the emotional and financial stress we decided to take a break from TTC. The only thing we have to show for the few years torment was a few surgery scars, a depleted bank account and one picture of our very last embie transferred.
As it turned out, the break went from months to years. People we knew married, had children, divorced, remarried and had more children all while we waited our turn. During this time we went down the natural therapies road. We consulted a naturopath and followed her regime for a while (interenstinly, she is a specialist in natural family planning and has 10 children of her own!!!). In 2005 we discussed adoption again and looked into international adoption. We attended the workshop and completed the mountains of paperwork to get through stage one in early 2006 and the interviews to begin stage 2. At this point we decide to spent the next $3000 required for that stage on another go at IVF instead. Our GP had reccomended we look at it again as there had been advances made in the 6 or so years since we had tried it. There had indeed been changes: the company was now private, not university operated. They had lovely premises, there was the development of letting embryos go to day 5 now with higher success rates, and medicare now covered more of the cost. We were referred to Dr Richard Henshaw who happens to be the medical director and he is extremely positive and says that yes there have been big improvements and that we can start again soon, going to blastocyst stage. The numbers that make it to that stage may be less but the chance of success will be much higher with those that do. We go into it feeling much more positive than at anytime before.
It was at this time that I discovered Bellybelly. I really wish I had known of it before as the forums have been such a help to me emotionally this time. We go on a real health kick, with Dh cutting down on his alcohol and we also trimmed down our consumption of preservatives and chemicals in the home. I also have a much more positive frame of mind with my mental health definately much more on track this time. Positive thinking is my 'new thing' and I take to it with gusto!
19th of march 2007 is my 33rd birthday and the day I have my day21 bloods taken to confirm the start date of my cycle. I take this as an omen. Synarel twice daily again and puregon once daily but happily that has improved now with it being administered in a pen like insulin not the old way of mixing the vials together and drawing the med up into the needle. This helps to simplify things and lower the stresses too. I treated myself to massages during this time also... can't hurt right?
At the scan they located at least 10follicles on the right and 4or more on the left. They couldnt see the left side too well but I am really happy with those results as there are more there than ever before. The trigger injection is even better than previous cycles too, being now only a subcutaneous not intramuscular as they used to be, much nicer!
EPU brings 10 'lovely' eggs! The most ever and the phone call to tell me that 9 had fertilised made me extra happy too. Things seemed to be finally going our way. Day 5 we had 2 blastocyst embryos transferred and there were at least another 2 which would be frozen, possibly three. We were so excited that after transfer we went to the shops and spent the whole day looking at and planning for baby things. This was April 21st 2007.
By April 28th I felt terrible. I was crampy, headachey and bloated like a dead animal! By 7am, April 30th I was in hospital suffering from Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome. Our local hospital hadn't heard of it and needed to consult the FS who got excited and said that this long after the stim drugs usually indicates early pregnancy. I had tried to tell the GP that but he didnt believe me. We went home the following afternoon and I took a HPT which I had ordered about 10 or 20 from the internet. Low and behold, after 10years and 1month we had our very first BFP!!!! There were tears and kisses and shaking. We could hardly believe our luck. It was confirmed by our blood test results on the 3rd of May.
Our first ultrasound was at 6weeks 2days and there was a heartbeat! Joy!!! All that could be seen was a tiny flickering blob and an eggsack still in there. We fell in love with it instantly. The pregnancy went like a dream with few health problems and very little morning sickness. Unfortunately we went 10days overdue, had to be induced and had a dramatic emergency caesarian section in the end but we finally have our longed for baby in our arms.
Celeste Martha took 10 years, 10 months, 10 days to arrive... including 5 IVF attempts, rounds of 'natural' therapies, lifestyle changes, induction, 6internals during 28hours of labour and an emergency caesarian! She was certainly worth it though...she is real, she is ours and she is perfect!

[Lenny]

Just loving all these happy endings.
Sazz - you will be an inspiration to many i'm sure.

[vanessa guy]

these are all great stories i love them,been doing ivf for 12 months and 6 times, now having a break and trailing a new thing that the male takes called menevit.monnie just woundering what pre-seed is and who takes it???

[RumpyBumpy]

Hi Ladies,

I know i am new here, but i know the heartache of LTTTC very well. I'm going to keep this brief though.

DH and i decided to start TTC on the first day of August 2006, it was 3 months before our wedding, silly us thought it would happen straight away... weren't we wrong!! WE tried and tried and tried, and i never once got even a faint line in a pregnancy test!

12 months passed and still nothing, people were asking me when we were going to go and see a fertility specialist, but i was in denial, more scared to find out that something was wrong, so we never actually went.

coming up on our 15 months of trying, we were moving house, our dog had puppies and we just werent thinking about TTC at all.... and one night i decided that i hadnt done a pregnancy test in a while so had better bring myself back to reality and see the usual negative result, i peed on the stick and got a strong positive straight away... having never seen one before i nearly fell off the toilet seat!!!

Thats my story in a nutshell, i am now 18 weeks pregnant, and find out in just over a week if we are having a boy or girl!!

There is not much i can say to the LTTTC people that they havent already heard, but keep strong, the right bubba is waiting for the right time to pick you are their loving parents.

[sazzafrazz]

Vanessa,
My DH took zinc, vitamin E capsules and an amino acid called L-argenine all recomended by the naturopath to help sperm quality. We had male factor infertility. Just a suggestion.

[Cuddlepie]

Sazz, so good to see you post and how time flies and little Celeste is almost 3 weeks! You must be so proud!

It gives me hope that one day I will be posting here too...wish that day comes sooner though!