LTTTC - Success Stories

[MamaCaz]

Thanks kbanitskas. Congratulations on your pregnancy I love positive outcomes!! Good luck with it all you deserve it. It's nice to know that there is somewhere to talk about these issues. The stories on here are very inspirational. We've been trying for 2 years we're not giving up now. Good luck to everyone on here. I send you all and .

[marcellus]

I've been meaning to post for a while - here goes

DH and I decided we wanted to have children together in early 2005. A few months went by and nothing, so I started researching. Learning all about how babies are made (and discovering it wasn?t all that simple after all); the different methods of tracking fertility, the pills and potions that promised success?.
We had been trying for about a year when we first went to a fertility specialist. The initial prognosis was that I had PCOS and a laparoscopy showed mild endometriosis, but our doctor didn?t think it would impede fertility too much. DH was another story ? plenty of sperm, but few swimmers. And every test he took the results got worse.
We were set to start IUI in a couple of months ? giving the supplements the urologist had suggested for DH a bit of time to (hopefully) do their magic. But then one day I thought I felt a lump in my breast. The doctor thought it was nothing, but decided to send me for an ultrasound to make sure. My breasts were fine, but the sonographer picked up a lump in my thyroid. It turned out to be cancer, so we put TTC on hold for a while.
When we were ready to try again we headed off to a local FS (having relocated to Australia) with our previous test results in hand. Our doctor decided that IUI was probably not going to work with DH?s low motility, so we began our first IVF cycle last April. I handled it all fairly well, no side-effects or anything, until the egg collection. I woke up in recovery to be told that they hadn?t got any eggs. It was fairly devastating to think I?d gone through all that crap for nothing and thoughts of never being able to have children floated through my head. DH was great as usual and we bounced back fairly quickly.
A couple of months later, we tried again. This time was different ? 14 eggs. We tried not to get our hopes up too much in the coming days, but we were so thrilled to hear that 13 fertilised, 9 survived to day 3 (they froze the 4 ICSI ones then) and finally we had 3 blasts on day 5. This time we got to transfer. In the meantime I?d started to develop symptoms of OHSS, but we went ahead anyway. The OHSS got worse and I ended up in hospital for a few days, but we got our BFP. Our beautiful son is now four months old.

Wishing the best of luck to everyone on the TTC path

[MamaCaz]

Wow Marcellus what a huge journey you've been on. I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. You are an inspiration and I am so happy that you got through it all. Congratulations on your beautiful baby. Being a mother is the best thing in the world. Enjoy . We are still not pregnant but we know it will happen one day. Staying positive....

[Malyna]

**warning some way out spiritual beliefs mentioned and mention of violence against a woman**

I was married at 21 to a man who I thought was perfect for me. Unfortunately he changed. Violent, jealous and controlling, I spent the next 8 years of my life watching him beat our pets with dripper hose, when they stepped out of line (and he would threaten me with it if I tried to intervene). He was abusive, emotionally, financially and physically (although this was in the form of raping me, so there would be no brusies to show). I feared becomming pregnant and was very regimented with contraception. In 1998 my beloved mother died of cancer and at the end of the year my father moved to Victoria. My family was safe and so I fled the state, walking out on all my worldly possessions and started a new life in a new place. Easy it was not and it has taken me years to get over what happened to me. I chose not to let my experience make me bitter, and instead followed a spiritual path, looking for answers.

It was in the new city here I met the man of my dreams - he was everything I had always dreamed about. We were soulmates from the start, we clicked, became good friends, then lovers and in 2002 married. I knew he would be a perfect father - it took him quite a lot longer to realise this and I had to change the way I thought about children (I desperately wanted them since we married). It wasn't until his sister feel pregnant in late 2006 that his mind began to change. He was on medications which resulted in no sperm being produced, so I knew IVF and donor sperm was our only option (now I just had to convince the doctors and DH).

Late 2007 we saw a FS who performed two surgical sperm collections on DH (to prove there was no sperm there).. I bluntly informed the FS "I ain't getting any younger here doc, do something" and he did. We went through the counselling process, got registered and in April 2008 started our first cycle of IVF.

I dragged my poor darling husband to Mary Mackillops chapel in sydney - I'm not catholic, and I'm not religious, but very spiritual. It was there that I received a message of strength and I sat crying in the chapel for awhile....I underwent Reiki to make sure my energy levels were right and I receive a lot of spiritual healing during my sessions.

On monday, I'll be 6mths pregnant. I count my blessings every single day. My shoulders are extremely painful and have been so since the first month. I haven't slept through the night or had a day without pain since. I am seeking alternative treatents, but every time my shoulders hurt, I am reminded of the blessing that I have been given and am eternally grateful for IVF to work for us first time. Shoulder pain is a price I am more than willing to pay to be able to have bubs on board.

Namaste

[marcellus]

Congratulations Tarkine and thank you for sharing - what a lot you've been through!
Have you seen anyone about your shoulders? I just ask as I've heard some kinds of pain can indicate certain problems with pg - don't want to alarm you or anything, and perhaps you've already ruled out other problems anyway, but just thought I'd stick in my meddling nose and mention it just in case.
Take care

[Samandpoppy]

Hi Girls,
thanks so much for you stories, inspiring. I hope to post one here myself one day soon.
I especially like hearing about anything different you tried that worked, esp drugs!@!!
sam

[nic]

My story begins with a DD conceived the fun, old fashioned way lol, but even then it was a couple of years of no protection, but not trying either. When DD was 1 we would sometimes decide to use some protection, other times not. When she was about 2,(2001/2002) we pretty much weren't using any. We just kept trying. I wasn't too worried about what was or wasn't happening, was just going with the flow.. we weren't charting or anything else at the time either.

People around us kept announcing pregnancies but I thought it would be our turn soon enough... fast forward to 2006. We went interstate for a wedding and holiday. I was feeling a little unwell, but put it down to all the car travel. I remember getting ready to go to the wedding and found that AF had arrived! she was early DH had joked a couple of days before that I was pregnant, and I had secretly hoped he was right, but here she was.. so I went to the wedding to drink. I had 2 drinks before going to the loo to find that AF had stopped! I thought, whats going on here? and immediately stopped drinking. A few days later I did a HPT. I couldn't tell if it was a +ve or not? It looked like the faintest of faint lines, so I decided to do another one in a couple of days time.

The next night, AF arrived. She was very painful and very heavy... I remember being in the shower -warning TMI ahead - and hearing the clots hit the tiles...I wondered if I had been pregnant and was miscarrying?? It is something I will wonder about forever, though deep down, I suspect it was (my chart had been looking quite good that month) I've never wrote about it here on BB.. I had no confirmation, so I felt like I shouldn't be wondering aloud about it.
The rest of the car trip home was horrible. we had to stop every half hour so I could change a pad.

Christmas 2006, driving home DH and I were chatting and he mentioned that he thought we should see someone. I told him I wasn't too fussed if we did or didn't, we already had a beautiful girl. I said if we weren't pregnant or actively doing something more, towards being pregnant by christmas the following year, then that would be it, no more..I couldn't handle anymore of the temping and charting and hearing about other people's pregnancies. I had to let it go from my life completely.

In the first few months of 2007, we saw a GP. I already had a referral that was over 2 years old to see a FS. I took this referral to a new GP, and asked for a new one. She was lovely, and sent us off for initial testing. DH's first SA had to be repeated, but it came back fine the second time round. We had to travel to other towns to have the SA done, and this was to be the first of many kilometre we would do that year.

We finally got into see our FS. A weird little fellow, he had been described to me as being abrupt. DH and I agreed we would meet him and see if we liked him or not. Luckily we did. He didn't hold back, and didn't stuff around. He checked my charts and said he could see I was ovulating, my tests were fine, DH sperm was great so he booked me in for a lap to be done 2 weeks away from then. I tried to get out of it, but I think he sensed it, and told me he was booking me in, and I could check DH's roster and change it if I needed when I got home.

2 weeks later, we rocked up at the hospital for my lap. Late that arvo, the FS came round to tell us what had happened. He asked how many op's I had had, as i only listed one on the admission forms and I looked like I had quite a few op's as there was really bad scarring. he didn't believe me when I told him only 1 op, and he asked my mum if I had any as a child. So I had lots of scarring, and endo. He explained the endo wasn't typical chocolate cysts endo, it was the white stuff, but not just patches of it like it usually is, it was a sheet of it. He didn't touch it as he wasn't sure how thick or thin or was and he didn't want to do any damage to would hurt our chances of TTC.

We made a follow up appointment with him for a week or so later on. The plan was to start on Synarel. I had to be on it for 3 months before I could go back to see him and start our IVF drugs. What a very long 3 months it was too.. I was quite a horrid emotional, nasty, mess of a person.

We did a few trips back and forth. We had to travel 200k's to pick up my synarel! One way! We had our first appointment, got our drugs and drove all the way home...I was so scared of so many things at that point, and I blurted out to DH that I didn't want to do the IVF, which upset him and caused a little tiff on our drive home.

We had to do the same trip for our scans as well. I had a scan, and was told to do another couple of days of injecting and come back for another scan. I did injections for a total 7 days, had a second scan (Friday) and was told that EPU would be happening on the Monday morning. We drove home 200k's, packed our bags, dropped DD at the IL's so she could still attend school, and left he next morning for our 1000k journey. We stopped at a motel the night that we had to do our trigger. 1.45 am it was to be done! I don't think DH and I went back to sleep for a few hours after it was done. I remember hoping that DH didn't break the vials we he cracked them open, as we were no where near any clinics or even a hospital if he did! Luckily he didn't!

We booked into our motel the next day. I'd had 3 months to surf the net and work out the best place to stay that was close by the hospital. It was right around the corner. I called our FS that was doing EPU and we hadn't even met yet. We had a chat and he told me all the details for the next day.

I went into EPU being told there were 14 follicles. When I came out I was told we had 15 eggs from 15 follicles, but they were fairly small. Phone call to the FS the following day, gave us the news of 11 fertlised! Transfer the following afternoon. That day I started feeling unwell. The nurses explained that I was at risk of developing a very slight case of OHSS with the number we had collected. When DH saw how bloated I had become, he was shocked. even more so when I had a red face and was feeling hot to touch. DH wanted me to ring the FS to tell him my symptoms! No way was I doing that. I had come too far, and I was super scared he would delay transfer. I drank heaps of water and sustagen and felt better that arvo and even went out shopping!

When we arrived for transfer, we were told that overnight, 1 of the embies had developed abnormally, and one had just stopped growing for some reason, so we were down to 9. 1 put back and the remaining 8 are now in snowbub storage.

Luckily we got a BFP from our first cycle! The amount of travelling we did was draining. but we did it, and now I have a beautiful little boy, and can still hardly believe that this little person is in our lives! He didn't sleep well at the start (and still doesn't) and I felt a little guilt because we had tried so hard to have him, yet he wouldn't let up and I was resenting him a little for it.

I will never forget that moment that DH put our DS in my arms and i had tears in my eyes...he was so worth the wait and the tears and pain and anger and even the synarel sniffing lol! but i guess I can say that now that I'm not sniffing it hey

Sorry for the extra long post.....just nice to share with others

Nic

[drbeee]

WARNING: There is mention of pregnancy termination below.

Its about time that I added to this post as I have meant to for so long. I guess my journey to motherhood was not as long as some, but am hoping that the happy ending will bring some hope to those in similar situations as me.

When I was 32 I became pregnant naturally to a man who did not want to know about the baby. He convinced me to terminate the pregnancy, and I will forever regret that I was so weak as to give in. He persuaded me that the timing was all wrong, and that we would have children together soon just not now.

I felt that I could not bring up the baby alone, and he made it clear that he would leave. I am a strong woman, but was in the thrall of this man, and my biggest regret was that I did not take the TIME to process the decision. I had it in my head that if I was to go down this path it had to be soon. I was 5 weeks pregnant with my baby when I let (him) down due to weakness and panic. I have never forgiven myself for this, and it will always be the biggest regret of my life.

The ex and I moved in, but of course I was consumed by anger (at myself more than at him), and became clinically depressed. I left him about 8 months later.

At 35 I had a myomectomy for an enormous fibroid, which left me with a scar stretching the whole length of my womb top to bottom. The surgeon advised me that I should have a caesarian if I ever became pregnant due t the nature and length of the scar.

When I was 36 years old I met a man who is good from the inside to the out. I knew that he would be a wonderful father. It took me two years to persuade him that we should try for a baby. My gynecologist (also a F/S) gave me a big talk about fertility, and even had my (reluctant) OH in for a good talking too as well. He relented and agreed that we would try and we started TTC when I was 38.

After 6 months we saw my FS again and we started with timed intercourse (I was working shifts). For some reason my FSH had not been measured in the first 2 cycles of TI, but on the third cycle it was, and I received a very stiffly worded letter from my FS basically telling me that I was perimenopausal, and that my changes of pregnancy were poor. She advised that we should start IVF if we were to have ANY chance of pregnancy.

Of course, I believed that this was my punishment for the termination.

My OH needed a lot of counselling prior to agreeing to undergo IVF. Nonetheless we embarked on our first cycle of IVF in May 2007. I never recorded the details, but some remain clear. There were 4 follicles, and 4 eggs. All 4 eggs fertilised, and two were transferred at day 3 with two being frozen. My bloods recorded HCG but poor levels. They call it a 'chemical pregnancy', but we all know that this is a miscarriage, and that we are losing a baby that tried to be.

I believed even more strongly that I was being punished.

We had to take a cycle off, and we asked the F/S to do another fresh collection, fearing that my fertility was declining by the second (although interestingly the FSH in the first and second cycles were in the normal range).

For our second cycle we had 7 follicles and 4 eggs. All 4 eggs fertilised, but one stopped developing. Two were transferred at day 3 and one frozen. We found out recently that the two transferred underwent assisted hatching also.

We were thrilled when we registered a BFP! I was 39yo. At 37 weeks and 2 days our DS was born by elective caesarian. He is the light of our lives.

I have also finally found some peace with my decision made so many years ago. If I had been a single mother then I would never have been where I was when I met my OH, and I would never have my beautiful son. My mother believes that our children wait for us, and come to us when they are ready. I hope so very much that this is true.

I am now 41 and we are currently in our first frozen cycle and are full of hope that we may be lucky enough to have another beautiful baby in our arms soon. We know that with only three embryos the odds are against us, and I am having acupuncture this time around.

I believe that if my son is meant to have a sibling this will be, whether following frozen transfer, or if we elect to try a fresh cycle again. If he is not, then he continues to bring joy to me every day. Even when I am cranky with him!

Thanks for reading

[littlemissmoo]

Hi everyone,

I would like to share with you our LTTC journey. We'd decided about five years ago to try for a baby & with me being in my 20's & both in good health we just assumed it would be a given. How wrong we were! After about 4.5 years we decided to seek expert health. A battery of tests later, we were told we fall into the 'unexplained' category.

I still don't know if this is good or bad as sometimes I think if there was a clear medical reason it would be easier for me to get my head around. We started our first cycle of IVF in May 07 & luckily besides pain after the egg retrieval I didn't experience any side effects from the drugs. It turned out to be a BFN & although we were bitterly dissapointed, I felt OK within myself as now I knew what to expect when all the needles & stuff. We had two frozen embryos from the cycle so in AUg decided to try a frozen cycle. Again, this turned out to be a BFN. We then used our last egg in Oct with another FET but again dissapointment with a BFN.

In Dec 07 we then decided to go back into a full cycle. I had the egg retrieval on Xmas eve & I just knew that as our little 'blasty' was being created in the little dish on Xmas Day that we would have success. And my gut instinct was right, we were blessed with a BFP!! Our beautiful daughter was born on 10/09/08.

The physical side of the IVF process I was fine with, but the emotional side was so tough. One of the hardest things was seeing all your friends pregnant & putting on that smile when inside your hearts breaking because it's not you. But luckily I'm surrounded with supportive family & friends & they all kept my chin up.

We are currently in the process of trying for number two &I'm due for a BT on Thursday to see if we have a little brother or sister for Abbey, let's hope!

[AliB]

** warning - this is soooo INCREDIBLY long!! Life story ahead!

So my history... I always used the 'withdrawal method' in 3 LT relationships between the ages 21 and 35, and had had no accidental pregnancies. Apparently that was the first sign of a problem!

I was married at 27 and separated at 33. Met my lovely toyboy soon after separation and we moved in together a couple of years ago xoxo

Then I started to experience all sorts of weird cycle changes, pain in middle of month, heavier periods. In fact my cycle had always been a bit peculiar and about a decade earlier a GP had suggested that I might have PCOS, as my period didn't come for a few months. When it recurred in 2007, an ultrasound indicated that I appeared to have endometriosis and polycystic ovaries. Although 34 years old, I felt shocked in Sept 07 during first visit with GP and then gyno, and both asked immediately: "when are you going to have children?". I was not ready to talk about that - I was not long divorced, had never been sure that I wanted kids (social / ethical reasons), and I was 16 months into a (wonderful) relationship with a much younger man who really didn't have fatherhood on his short term horizon! But these problems got me thinking.

In Feb 08, I had a lap and hysteroscopy to remove endo from pelvic side wall and to remove a number of polyps from my uterus. At this time, we started trying to fall pregnant - by this time, DP and both agreed that we should give it a try.

The first lap was OK but the public hospital experience was unpleasant and recovery was a little harder than I'd thought. Also, it appeared that my tubes were blocked. We kept trying anyway, and in Jun 08, a hycosy test showed that my tubes were clear. However, a scan found small endometromas on each ovary. Also, more worrying was that DP's semen analysis showed low count, and low normal forms. One step forward, two steps back!

We kept trying, but my cycle became increasingly erratic and lengthened. We were spending a fortune on OPK but I wasn't confident that I was actually ovulating. My gyno thought she needed to 'escalate' us to the next level.

In Jan 09 I got a referral to Dr Alison Gee at Sydney IVF. Although we had both accepted that IVF was the path we should consider, I was SO nervous before the first appointment, as I imagined that we'd be forced to sign the forms immediately and off we'd go! Of course this wasn't the case. Dr Gee was fantastic, and immediately took a detailed medical history - I actually felt like she was listening and thinking about it all, which is a rarity amongt of specialists! It became clear that we weren't going to be locked into the IVF option in any event, as Dr Gee would first try to help us conceive naturally or with minimal assistance. That was a welcome surprise.

Dr Gee was very concerned to hear about about endometriomas and my DP's poor SA results, neither of which my previous gyno had seem phased about (ie she'd just sent us off to try for another 6 months despite the results). Dr Gee, in contrast, provided referrals for a battery of tests and more detailed bloodwork. She also prescribed Metformin for me to address PCOS symptoms - I tolerated it well, got my period more regularly again (every 31 days). Best of all, although I was already a healthy weight (but a few points higher in the BMI range than I needed to be), I lost 5 kg in first month (with diet and exercise) and kept losing 1kg a month after that without particularly trying! Love the metformin!

DP's second SA results were good (no more undies at night, and men's multivitamins) but bad news on my endometriomas - multiple in right ovary, 1 small in left. Again, one step forward, and one back. Due to the speed of recurrence and size of the endometriomas, Dr Gee's diagnosis was 'agressive' endo. The pain was getting bad, it hurt when I did no. 2's and I couldn't do yoga any more. I was scared!

Dr Gee referred me to Dr Geoffrey Reid, a specialist endo surgeon, for another lap on 6 April 09. She assisted and it was at St Luke's Hopsital in Potts Point. Although the Gap cost was a killer, the entire experience was fantastic, esp after the previous Lap. I felt really positive and recovery was swift.

We met with Dr Gee for a follow up later that month and she said we could try again for 6 -12 months, but that the endo would likely recur quickly in which case we'd be in the same boat - tests, scans, surgery. Given "my age" and the amount of stuffing around that we felt we'd already done, we voted to move toward IVF immediately. We were scheduled to start mid May... exciting!! But more worries, just as we were about to leave she was handed the biopsy from my intra-uterine biopsy during surgery - the finding was endometritis (not endometRIOSIS - endometRITIS is an inflammation of the lining of uterus, which can impact on implantation of the embryo). Dr Gee immediately prescribed a course of 3 different antibiotics, which we took prior to starting, so it was disappointing not to have 'one last month' to try naturally before IVF (because one of the antibiotics is dangerous in pregnancy I couldn't risk it). She said she 'hoped' this would work but antibiotics don't cure all cases of endometritis.

Anyway... we were ready to kick off with Sydney IVF. We met the nurse coordinator and account manager in May 09, they were all incredibly friendly and helpful. Got AF right on time (thanks Metformin!). Dr Gee choose the antagonist short protocol as most appropriate for me - blood test first day of period, then following day start FSH injections (Puregon) so that becomes Day 1.

I felt like I was completely organised - I even typed up a spreadsheet for my cycle so I could keep track - but I still got in a flap! Eg the instructions were, "if bleeding before midday, telephone that day and come in for bloodtest, if after midday, call ASAP and blood test the following day". Well my period actually arrived - but I was so excited/terrified, I did nothing. Fortunately, one of the marvelous nurses rang to see how I was going as their records showed that I should be starting my period very soon. Ooops, I'd completely forgotten that the very first step of my protocol was "call the clinic as soon as your period arrives". Thank goodness they'd called!

The injections were all good, DP did them for me each morning. I had puregon for 10 days, Orgalutran from days 5-10 (ie for 6 days), and the trigger on day 10. I went in several times for blood test and/or scan, DP came with me to later appts so he could see the expanding follies! One crazy morning - Monday - waited for 1 hour for BT and 1hr 45min for ultrasound - other than that pretty quick. I tolerated the drugs incredibly well, Dr Gee had done a brilliant job of getting dose right to avoid hyperstimulation - a significant risk for polycystic ovaries. Felt some bloating toward the last few days, and after egg collection, and some headaches. I drank loads of water every day - well over 3L, but found that my head started pounding if I had any less! Also had a couple of brief periods of feeling a bit breathless but the water took care of that.

We were told to do the trigger at 8.30pm on a sat night, unfortunately my DP had planned a boys night before we knew this... so he did the trigger with a group of boys downstairs yelling and drinking! Funny. They were all fascinated and looked at me very strangely when I came back downstairs. I felt a bit overcome afterwards and had an early night.

Egg collection was Monday morning 25 May so I arranged a day off work for "more women's stuff" (they were used to it by now thanks to all my issues!). I found it a bit painful particularly on the right ovary (due to pressure on cervix) but fortunately there was only 2-3 decent follicles on that side so it was quick! (The poor little right ovary had a couple of large endometriomas removed from it in April, I guess that's why it was a bit slow to respond).

Out of the 12 or so follicles counted during the scans Dr Gee retrieved 6 eggs, all were mature. The following day the lab rang to say that 5 had fertilised normally through IVF (ICSI not required which is good). By Day 3, we had 1 at 10 cells, 1 at 9 cells, 2 at 8 cells and 1 at 6 cells, so 4 of the 5 looking good. Day 5 - Saturday - was embryo transfer, which was very quick and easy - oh, except that we started half an hour later than we were supposed to and I was soooo busting for the loo when they pressed that abdom ultrasound on my tummy!! There was a Grade 1 hatching blastie which was transferred, it looked so cute on the screen! At that time the other 4 embies were classed as 2 expanding blasties, 1 early blastie, and 1 at "only 3.5 day stage". The following day they telephoned to say that 2 were frozen and the other two not suitable.

I was not terribly optimistic of immediate implantation success (uterus lining "too thick" and polypoid, and may have endometritis which is inflammation of the lining) ...OH and a higher risk of miscarriage, as I have a blood clotting factor issue too (low positive anticardiolipin antibodies) - my poor sis lost 4 angel babies before 7 weeks before she was prescribed Heparin therapy and she just had her first baby in June.

Anyway the TWW was, as we all know, sheer agony. As I got to the end of it, the list of symptoms were growing hard to ignore, and I knew that the hormone injectable effect had worn off by then. But I kept convincing myself that it was nothing as I didn't want to get my hopes up. When I got 'the call' from Dr Gee after the blood test, I was completely and utterly shocked! She immediately asked who my obstetrician would be, my mind was racing "Oh do I need one of those??!"... I'm sure I was the first long term TTC and IVF patient who hadn't given any serious thought to actually getting pregnant! I just couldn't let myself believe it would happen, as you may understand from reading about my range of issues.

Anyway of course it was a steep learning curve from that moment, and so far so good. 15 weeks, feeling great and so happy to have little Scooby on the way!

If you read all of that WOW, it is good to assemble various notes I've made through the process and have this record.

Good luck to all of those facing the minefield of health issues and TTC troubles. Babydust to you and hope you have the success I've had SOON!! I also heartily recommend the Dr's I mentioned and SIVF.

[briggsy's girl]

Been meaning to post in here for a while but keep forgetting! this has been taken from my birth story - cos i just can't seem to find the time to type it all up again!

DH and I started trying for a baby in February 2005 - it wasn't a conscious decision as such, just something that happened. kinda a "trying without trying" thing. On April 25 2005, we found out we were pregnant for the first time. we weren't honestly expecting it, and it was something of a shock - but in a good way! unfortunately we lost that angel baby only four days later. it was so very hard ringing DH and telling him on the phone while he was working away - but it was after this loss that we realised we really did want a family.

we got engaged a few months later and were planning our wedding, so trying for a baby just didn't enter the equation. i didn't have a regular cycle, so it's not like we were actively trying or avoiding anything. On December 3rd, 2005 i went shopping in Melbourne for a "mother of the bride" outfit for my mum, and to get some extra stuff we needed for the wedding - we'd barely made it to the shops when i started to bleed heavily. it was bizarre - i'd had nothing since the loss earlier in the year, and hadn't even suspected a pregnancy. DH had lost his brother only days after we'd become engaged, i had changed jobs, DH had changed jobs - everything was so up in the air... i began to think something wasn't right, but had my kitchen tea that night so just got on with everything for the day. the next day we had it confirmed that i'd lost another angel at about 9 weeks - we're not sure exactly how far along we were, but it was damn hard. i laboured and had to deliver the fetus which was scary as all get up and painful physically and emotionally.

after this second loss, we decided that we did want to actively try for a baby, and early January 2006 we went to a GP for immunology testing to make sure all was ok (rubella immunity etc) and the GP decided to check for hormonal issues due to lack of cycle - i was confirmed as having PCOS. over the next few months, we had so many tests and scans, and were eventually referred to a gyne for more investigation. ovarian golf balling surgery, and metformin/clomid didn't force me to ovulate over the coming months so in December 2006 i had my first visit with the fertility specialist

January 2007 we started ovulation induction for IUI - two cycles cancelled due to failure to respond to the meds, then a change to protocol and we started to respond. it took a couple of attempts before we had success in August 2007 and unfortunately we lost that angel as well. In November 2007 we moved to full IVF - our EPU resulted in 22 eggs, but only half were mature enough for attempt to fertilise, and from that, only five fertilised. one transferred, and four frozen. we had no success until our last FET in May of 2008 when the last two embryo's were transferred. we got the news we'd been hoping for on my birthday, but lost the baby only days later, on Mothers Day. we couldn't do another full IVF cycle for a few months due to finances and room in the local clinic so we booked that for November 2008 but decided to throw in a couple of IUI's in between to feel like we were achieving something - July 2008 we got good news again but unfortunately angel number five was taken only days later

August/September 2008 we decided on one last ditch IUI before our next IVF attempt. this time we decided to add some accupuncture into the mix and on September 19 2008 we got confirmation of what we'd known for a few days - i was pregnant again. even though the HCG numbers were low to start with, something just felt right - maybe it was the morning sickness that kicked in straight away. i dunno but i was confident. a series of follow up blood tests and then our first viability scan and suddenly it was all very real, our little Gremlin was on it's way

After a very loooooong and not so fun pregnancy (m/s the whole way, pre-eclampsia etc) our beautiful little girl arrived 12 weeks ago, May 29, 2009.

she is perfect - and more than worth the long journey to get her here!

BG