IVF with PGD #4

[MsPink]

Julie - so sorry about the last few days you poor thing. I hope your poor crampy uterus has been able to perform so to speak and you can avoid the d&c..

Sara - have been thinking about you all week. All the best for tomorrow sweetie..I truly hope you get good news..

Kel - how wonderful you may already have a possible donor..

[wouldloveabubba]

Popping in to wish Sara all the best for today

[Cuddlepie]

Sara, everything is crossed for you for today....

[Sara69]

Thanks girls, unfortunately I am down and out - did POAS yesterday and was BFN.

Went for BT anyway to get the confirmation - all the signs that I had been seeing in the last few days when I was pretty convinced I was pregnant from sore boobs to MS all went overnight, now only waiting fro AF to show her ugly face

Sara

[buliej]

Sara - I am sorry. I was so hopeful for you. Which brand of POAS (any chance that it was too soon for the test you used?). It is a very hard jouney.

[Sara69]

Don't think so - I used First Response.

Sara

[buliej]

I find those to be good. I am really sorry. How are you doing (I know you must be really sad)?
Do you have next steps in mind or will you take some time?

[Cuddlepie]

I am so gutted for you...those symptoms from a stim cycle really mess up your mind, I knew it first hand from my last cycle when I was so sure and hopeful, I know exactly how you feel atm hun...no words just big and look after yourself...

[Sara69]

Thanks for your support CPie &Julie

You know there is not really any other option for me since I haven't got a child - just thought this morning if I already had one I'd be out of here as fast that you wouldn't see my tail lights. It's kind of a really destructive thing to do to yourself going through this process - may however all be worth it if it works out. Or is it?

So will probably ask my FS some questions on how to deal with empty follicle syndrom, check if flare cycle would be a better option than antagonist for me and then go in for FSH check in four weeks. Already started back on DHEA and CQ10.

If I am not convinced with the answers from my FS to my questions I may go and get a second option, probably to Dr Lok or possibly check out Monash IVF. So I may give myself at least one more go with my own eggs and investigate donor eggs in between, may look at that if the next cycle does not work out.

But in this case will probably take a long break first, have a holiday somewhere interesting and if the Safety Net goes all bets are off obviously.

One more thing - the girl collecting my bloods this morning is someone I had a few times and really got on well with - she told me she had been made redundant! SIVF has a restructure and sacked 22, employing 15 new staff, really hope this doesn't affect any of the other nurses that I really like. Very angry about it, as if they wouldn't already make enough money on all this - putting poeple out on the street in this economic climate because of a restructure is very bad form indeed.

Sara

[buliej]

Sara - I went to see a new FS at Monash today (my current FS is at Melbourne...and I think I can now call her my First FS or my Old FS), as I am making the switch - I already paid the Monash admin fee and set up some of the required appointments. I can explain why and what she is doing - I will come back here tonight and post - it's too long and I'm pressed for time at the moment. I can tell you that I was very reluctant to change - thought it would be a hassle, thought I'd have a hard time telling my current FS and getting my file, thought it would set me back, etc. Not one of those concerns was valid. I have no basis for saying the following, but I am not sure how much of a difference a different FS at the same clinic will have - they share info, use the same lab, and follow similar protocols (that is just my opinion and I don't mean to discourage you). I do think that by going to a different FS at a different clinic there is more possibility of really shaking things up and finding a different approach.

We too are taking a holiday - just waiting for DH's leave approval to come through, mine already has which I'm thrilled about.

I don't get it - how can they sack 22 but hire 15 - why not just sack 7? unless the skill sets are different, but really can't imagine that as the clinic only does 1 thing. Also, as you said, if they are anything like I've seen here, they certainly aren't hurting for business. It's sad that you won't be seeing the faces that you are comfortable with...although sounds like you may be sacking the whole clinic!

[MeredithD]

Sara - I am so, so sorry that it doesn' t look good this time. So unfair! I hope your FS can give you some renewed hope. If not, then a change of clinic and Dr may well be worth it for you. No harm in trying something different eh?
I hope you can find somewhere lovely to holiday soon and at least try and take your mind of things a touch

Buliej - I will reply to your PM soon. SOOOO glad Lynn was able to offer you something different - could be just what you need
Also know just how you must feel with the ongoing m/c probs. I have had D&C for all of them ( except this one's twin obviously) and have had retained product 3 times. Twice neededing repeat D&Cs. Its just horrible to not be able to move on physically at least.... makes the emotional job a lot harder. Hope your body can clear things out on its own

[Kel81]

Sara: I am so sorry, hon. I truly wished that this was your time for a miracle. Did you get your BT result yet?

Julie:

Everyone I missed:

AFM, not great news today; DH told me last night that he wants to take a break and pretty much that he just doesn?t want to hear about it (donors or anything affiliated with TTC) anymore. I was talking to my mum about it last night (God bless her) and have decided that if he isn?t willing to continue trying and move on to a donor egg/embryo then I?m probably going to go ahead and do it on my own without him. The fact that he'd rather see me keep going through the pain of IVF and failure after failure and will now not even consider moving onto something else has infuriated me. I suppose this has all been coming for a long time; we've been TTC for 4 1/2 years now and he's been on a slippery slope for the last year or so. I pray that he ups his game (he's only 28 so I keep praying that he'll grow up SOON) between now and when he gets home (he's still away for almost another three weeks), otherwise I may be moving forward by myself. He's always wanted children, but has never been involved in the treatment process, I've been left to handle that aspect virtually on my own. I can count on my right hand the number of times he's been to an appointment with me in more than four years, and on no fingers the number of articles, websites, etc. that he's read or researched, plus the number of people he's suggested we talk to. Quite frankly, my DH's contribution to IVF has been the occasional orgasm and a blood test. Not a bad day's work if I do say so myself. Truth be told, I just feel sad for him that he can't see the forest for the trees. Freakin' men...

[Cuddlepie]

Sara, glad you have planned moving forward...sounds good with the holiday plan and potentially changing FS.

As you know I did the same, although with the same clinic, I didn't choose to change clinics because I think SIVF is the best, I would only go downhill to choose IVFA, so that wasn't within my consideration. But I do found that each FS has their particular techniques, so still worthwhile to explore, for me, is the transfer and FS's attitude. My previous FS never does u/s guided TF, he just checked it afterwards. But Dr. Lok is an expert on doing the external u/s guide to make sure embyro is in the right place. My previous TFs were eventful, almost everytime have to do it twice because of my retroverted uterus but with Lok, its a breeze. Plus he is willing to take male factor more seriously which was our problem at the time (high SCSA). Also the advantage of transfering within the same clinic is the paper work, they share everything, so no drama at all.

I am shocked to hear they are sacking people, I am with Julie, why don't they just sack 7? I do remember there was a new girl taking my blood a few weeks ago...I hope the one you are talking about is not Michelle, she is my favourate one.

Julie, glad you are having a break too...sounds like you are making some changes too, I hope it all works out for you...

Kel, sorry to hear that DH's lack of interest of keep going. I have to say, this TTC journey is not for faint hearted, it is tough road as we all know. It is hard for them to understand what exactly we are going through. Just the other day, DH has to do an u/s to check vericolcele (?spelling) and suddenly he can kind of related what I've been through physically during the cycle and how I feel, I was quite surprised when he told me that and at least he showed some empathy...I think anyone who has gone through serveral cycles of IVF are tough women, but that doesn't neccessarily say we don't need support, especially the partners. I truely hope you can have a heart-to-heart talk with DH and reach some kind of agreement, TTC journey is already tough enough, I really don't want to see you doing this yourself. Would he want to be involved say if you are going down the donor egg/embyro path?

[Sara69]

Thanks girls for your support, just got the call ....my estrogen still at 600 so will take a few days until AF comes, my FS will call me today or tomorrow, also can talk to the counsellor tomorrow.

CPie: What you're saying is interesting, actually your old FS did my transfer and I wasn't too impressed with him. Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow, keep us up-todate.

Kel: Sorry to hear that, do you think he would consider going to counselling with you?

Sara

[buliej]

Kel - so sorry that you also have to battle (so to speak) with DH as well - as if it's not tough enough already. I can't really complain about my DH, but I will say that he hasn't read 1 thing - nada - not 1 of the handouts, nothing on the web, etc. It became so apparent after the meeting we had today with New FS - I understood everything because of bellybelly and all the other time I put into researching what protocols different places use etc. I also knew of every single supplement she said he should take (I'll post these tonight in case anyone is interested). But I would expect your husband to be supportive - do you think that there's a chance that he is really devastated and disappointed, but has not been able to communicate this in a productive way, so this is his way of dealing with it? I often find that my DH has been thinking about things and mourning in his own way - but I find out well after the fact when all along I thought he was just rolling with the punches.

CP - that's interesting that the 2 drs at the same clinic are so different - I don't think that is the case at Melb IVF, but I'm not sure. I did always feel like I was just being sent down a stand path (try A, if A doesn't work, try B, if B doesn't work, try C - with the A, B, Cs being stock standard), and not because my FS was lazy or anything like that - she's a very caring person who always explained the reasons, but I kept on getting the sense that the approach was behind the times (before I had info on Monash and Meredith's recommendation, I gave a lot of thought of going to Syd for treatment as I have heard really, really good things). Good luck tomorrow.

[Sara69]

CP - Just one question - how did you go about it - did you just call Dr Lok and make an appointment or did you talk to him first on the phone/email?

Sara

[MsPink]

Dear sweet Sara - I am so sorry. Believe me when I tell you I am feeling your pain as I am still raw from mine. My heart goes out to you. It is so cruel and unjust and I am so sorry for us all. Take care of yourself. Am here for you anytime you need to talk.

Kel - so sorry you are going thru these troubles. IVF and all its dramas is certainly enough on it's own. I hope you guys are able to work it all out..

[Sara69]

Thank you Lulu - hope you also will feel better soon.

Girls - If any of you have done a flare cycle I would really appreciate to get any info on in what way it's different to an antagonist cycle and your experiences - I've also posted a thread about it in this forum.

http://bellybelly.com.au/forums/long...ml#post1760784

Sara