Our plight being recognised...

[Keen]

Taken from Sydney Morning Herald

Bid for baby a gamble with nature
Rosemarie Milsom
January 21, 2007


AFTER spending a year in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons - falling ratings and Eddie McGuire's insensitive and puerile turn of phrase - Jessica Rowe must feel wonderful after the birth of her first child.

As she and husband Peter Overton absorb every detail of their newborn daughter, work and all its melodrama must seem petty in comparison with such a wonderful, life-changing event.

Allegra Penelope Overton was born after three failed attempts using IVF. That tidbit is stated - in magazines and newspapers, as well as on TV - in such a matter-of-fact way that it barely hints at the emotional roller coaster the couple has ridden.

And that's the way it is now that IVF is so commonplace. I read recently that, in 25 years, most children in Sydney will have a classmate who was born with the assistance of fertility treatment.

Within my lifetime, an area of medicine that once seemed confined to science fiction has advanced so rapidly that it is no longer a niche concern or just the domain of the wealthy and childless.

It is estimated that 20 per cent of Australian couples experience fertility problems. The growing need for IVF has meant that knowledge and understanding of the various procedures have increased, and this, in turn, has diminished any stigma.

And while that's a good thing, our almost blase attitude to the phenomenon worries me.

Thankfully I have never needed IVF but I can imagine the anxiety every time a procedure is completed and a couple is forced to endure the nerve-racking, two-week wait to see if an embryo develops.

A friend confided that she was so scared something would go wrong she barely left the house. It was feet up and fingers crossed.

Add to this the entrenched practice of not telling people you are pregnant until after the 12-week mark and there are a lot of women - and men - weighed down with worry that is often not shared.

It's a heavy load made heavier by loss. Miscarriages are common and, if they happen before 12 weeks, most people within the couple's sphere won't be aware of the devastation they are enduring.

Trying for a baby is one of life's most gut-wrenching gambles, motivated by love and desire you place your heart and soul in the hands of nature. Even technology can only support an embryo so far.

The powerlessness is overwhelming and is bound up in plans and dreams for the future. If all goes well you may as well have won millions. If not, the grief is nothing but dark and heartbreaking.

As we embrace ever-improving technology and the benefits it can offer those with fertility problems, let's not forget the fraught, emotional struggle that is happening in our midst - quietly, but no less significantly.

Nice to see others consider our plight...

[LisaC]

I agree, it is very nice for somebody to recognise and share this hard journey.

Thanks for adding this article in. I really liked it.

Take care.

ITs a great article!!

[Tracey]

Thanks for sharing Keen, I am in tears reading that....

It is beautifully written....

[Willow]

Keen that is awesome, thank you for sharing it. I hope lots of people I know read it!

[bokkie]

Thanks for that, it made me cry, but its so nice to see something public that validates the pain we're all going through in the hopes we'll hold our babies some day.

[Lissie]

Hi Keen,

That was a fantastic article. I have noticed lately there has been alot of publicity about IVF, maybe because more famous people are letting it known they have been thru it.
I think its great that those in the limelight will let us all in and talk about such issues - I do not feel its something we should hide, and when I discuss it with others I am not looking for sympathy just understanding and in a way its educating those who do not know what we go thru, and the more we talk about it the more our plight is heard and hopefully legislations etc will loosen up a bit and make our journey and those following behind us a little easier.