do you ever get told....

[airline]

Hey girls
do you ever get asked why you come on this or any other forum to do with conceiving/babies/ivf etc etc? DH, even though he is amazing, often will see me on here, and tell me to stop reading in case it upsets me or something along those lines.

I admit there have been many times, when maybe it isn't wise to go online because my head's not in the right place, but even though I have friends who've gone through IVF, I don't generally want to call them up or go around and say, 'Hey, how you doing? I feel like **** blah blah blah blah." so instead I come on here.

I made the mistake of smsing my close friend (3 kids all naturally, no issues), and saying I should've gone out with her tonight (DH working)...she asked why, I said that 'the internet was evil' and I was gonna go do some ironing and watch some tv. She referred to a previous conversation saying that I might not always understand her DH but she doesn't understand what I sometimes do to myself.

That upset me. I'd rather have had a, well if there's anything I can do...or a call if you need to comment, not a why do you do this to yourself. I do it, because I go to a place where people understand. People have been there, or are doing it, or in amongst it, or have been through something similar. You can read about others' long strived for successes and rejoice, or tear up because you've just read a heartbreaking story.

I've never, not once picked up the phone and called a friend or seen someone when I've been balling my eyes out. I've no idea what they're doing, they all have families or are pregnant, are all busy, busy people, I get that. So I come on here. It always gets me through to the other side, one way or another.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the rant, just feeling lonely, and needed to offload

[SeaChange]

Hi Airline,

I have had people questioning why I come onto BB - but more to do with counsellors and Natropaths rather than friends....

I can empathise with the loneliness you are feeling - sometimes it is only the people that have gone through a similar situation that understand the sadness that you experience.

There are times also when I need to take a step back from BB. I suppose it is a question of balance.

I'm sorry that you are feeling lonely. Here's some hugs

[airline]

cheers Gargy, you see that's all I needed to hear thank you

[Sue1979]

I come on here because there are women who understand. I don't have many people in real life that I can chat to about this who do. There is nothing wrong with that at all babe!!

Big hugs to you babe

S X

[airline]

cheers sue. I poke my tongue out at people who don't get it

[redlady]

Hello,

Huggles to you. Sometimes I get questioned why Im on here. Well I agree with airline, most of my friends are busy getting pregnant or have their family already. They are naturally involved with their own families. And usually don't understand how hard it is for some people.

I know I haven't started sniffing or injecting or being harvested for eggs or implanted. But I do read the other lovely ladies stories.

Redlady

[Lulu]

Hun, have you told your friend about the support you get here?
Maybe you have only mentioned it to her when you were down and feeling negative...so therefore she wonders why you would 'do this to yourself' kwim?

xoxoxo

[entreat]

Yep - I was asked by DH why I came on here when some times it has me in tears of dispair. It's hard for him to understand because he doesn't see the point in spend a couple of hours on the net. But I come because I can get that support that I can't get here.

My DH is great, but there's only so much he can do when he's already carrying so much guilt about us needing IVF. And I can't open up to him in the same way without risking him feeling a little to blame about the frustration/disappointment we've had so far.

A recently pregnant friend demanded to know what I was doing on here. All I could think was "F YOU!! It's not a secret website you only get access too when you hit 3 months!!!". But she's just arrogant and rude (but I'm still very happy for her & her pregnancy).

So you're not alone in spirit & written-word. We're only a post a way when you need a chat, to hug you when you're down, and to cheer when you finally get your BFP!

[Meo]

Airline, my DH is the same but sometimes I just need to let it all out and have a good cry about how unfair it is for all of us who are having difficulties. I have an aunt and several people I know through work have done/are doing the IVF thang but I don't actually like to talk about it IRL because I'm not a huge sharer and if I feel uncomfortable, I will try to joke about it all. On BB I really let the wall down because I know that no one will judge or try to jolly me along, you can get the support from those who know how much it sucks to be here sometimes, iykwim?

[airline]

Redlady, how's it going gal??! I reckon it doesn't matter where your personal journey is heading or at right now, it's a mix of curiousity to read about what might be ahead, educating, inspiring, thought provoking etc. Sometimes, I think, s*** what am I so upset about, having read someone's story, because it puts what I'm going through into perspective. Thanks for the huggles.

Lulu, I have mentioned how the website's an excellent source of info. support etc, but I've obviously mentioned that I've been on here when she knows I've just had a bad day or something (normally she finds out after event, when I mention it casually in conversation), but I do get where you're coming from.

Entreat, how gracious of you to still be happy for your friend, when she demanded to know why you're on here!!! Wow, that's like a kick in the guts... and from a mate!! I take it she didn't know that there were a range of forums on here to help people at all stages of 'parenting' from conception to teens. Thank you for reminding me that people are just a mouseclick away

Meo isn't it sooo much easier to 'talk' on here. My fingers get carried away, and sometimes the next day I'm a bit and I think people must think I'm a babbling lunatic, but gee it's theraputic. The lady that started this is a genius!!

Here's to the next 100 posts we all make

[Mayaness]

Well, I'm glad you DO do it to yourself There are many wonderful members here who, if they can't immediately empathise with you, have better understanding of where you're at because we get to read your stories and anecdotes and are better with our IRL friends who don't conceive as easily for it...so thank YOU
And if it helps any, there's quite a few of us who have to take a step back for various reasons from time to time - it's healthy to realise when you need to get away from the gamma rays (or whatever they are!!) and act on it.
The people who don't get it, or who scoff, have never experienced the unique types of relationships that a lot of us have been lucky enough to nurture on here...cos very often it will end up spilling over into real life, and that's encouraged here on BB

[airline]

mayaness thank you, couldn't put it better myself I didn't go on the site for months and months, then one day I was drawn, and it's been my crutch for a couple of months now daily.

good luck, you're getting close

[Possums]

hugs, I come here too for the support and understanding...sometimes to share, sometimes to offer support and sometimes to vent..it does help... And as mayaness said- when I feel I need to step back from it for a while, I do, which is what I have been doing lately, as we have had to stop trying to a while and I needed to step back from all of it for my own sanity, and have a time out. But other times I am here all the time posting...lol. I love knowing this site and the lovely ladies here, are there when I need them