Homebirth General Discussion #1

[Mayaness]

Lori, you ARE a homebirther now, huh?? I'm so, so glad you got to experience it and the whole 'oh, puhlease, I so don't believe I'll be safer in hospital' to your DH Please don't regret the transfer - it happens from time to time in planned homebirths (Tracy Bartram had to transfer after hers!), doesn't make it less of a homebirth
I never worried about DS seeing me birth. His birth was not a loud, vocalised affair (just the way it worked out, and the way I visualised it was for serenity, I do know vocalisation is an important part of it for others!) - I worked through all the sensations using the HypnoBirthing. I guess I'm assuming it will be the same this time round! If it's not, I'm not worried, still - the midwives and DP will talk him through it and I'll give him tranced-out snuggles to let him know I'm ok. The environment will be too nurturing for him to think I'm in danger, so he might just be confused if things get vocal, but hopefully not alarmed.
Yeah, it's not so weird and foreign to plan a homebirth...even 'normal' people do it Not that I'm one of them...

[Bimboo]

Hi all,

I guess I should introduce myself. I have a 18 month old daughter and am pregnant with twins. I had an attempted homebirth with DD but after a fairly quick first stage (10 hours) and then 7 hours of pushing I had to transfer to the hospital. I ended up with thrid degree tearing and a severely twisted pelvis and was in agony for months afterwards. DD was whisked away to the critical care unit (she had a tiny cough) and wasn't allowed to be touched for 4 hours till after I returned from surgery. The midwife then woke her at 3am and triggered a 36 hour cluster feed that culminated in her screaming every time the boob was taken out of her mouth. We drove home with a totally hysterical baby who just screamed for the 20 minute trip and I was in too much pain to be able to turn and comfort her, Not that it would have helped at all, she was to distressed.

So after 96 hours with only 3 hours sleep (not counting the 2 hours under GA during surgery and recovery) I was a total emotional wreak. It took months to get physically better and emotionally it has been a rollercoaster due to no support for either DH or myself. Anyway to cut a long story a bit shorter (probably not) I fell pregnant in Jan and had a miscarriage. I then fell pregnant in May and started to bleed heavily at 9 weeks on a friday night so there was no hope of a scan till monday. I passed a placenta and then the bleeding slowed right down (it was strange, the pain started at this point, I have been told it was my cervix closing). I had a scan on monday and discovered that I was still pregnant with twins. This was such a shock that it took us two months to adjust to the fact.

Well at that point my Dr said (at 9 weeks remember) that I would be having a CS because it was twins. I changed Dr's and at 13 weeks went to the ob to be told that it was most likely that I would end up with a CS! If I went "naturally" I would end up with an epi at 3 cms. At this point I decided that I needed a homebirth. I told my doula (she was at my first birth) and she gave me the names of a few midwives. I have been unable to find a midwife that I have confidence in or that I feel will click with my husband and I. I have however found another doula who I am going to interview soon (she's quite a long way away) and hopefully she fits well.

Anyway I am content with my decision. I was freaking at one point, but I guess that it's just another baby not rocket science and I am happy to be able to do this in my own home and not suffer the anxiety of screaming babies etc. So here's praying for a good birth in approx 18 weeks time.

[LoriRae]

Bimboo, thanks for sharing your story. Here's to hoping you get a much better birth this time round

And Maya, I saw your piccies on FB- absolutley beautiful hun, you should be very proud

[Tegam]

wow bimboo....if you need any extra support anytime just PM me. If it feels right to you then its right for your family!

[Bimboo]

Thanks everyone,

I'm actually freaking out right now. I am having trouble finding a midwife to fit into our family situation and I'm not really happy with the second doula that we were recommended as we arranged to meet on a friday and she booked out that day and couldn't make it. Now we are in a bind. I think I really want a midwife not two doula's because of the fact that it is twins and it is easier for registering the births etc.

I am really nervous. My last birth wasn't pleasant and I do not under any circumstances (except an emergency) want to end up in hospital. It doesn't help that my mother is not supportive in this. I haven't had a lot of medical intervention this time and she is judging me on that. Mind you she lost her first baby after 96 hours, the second had to be pulled out of the birth canal after 48 hours and I caused a massive hemorraghe six weeks early and the only reason we both survived was because she was already in hospital.

I am just sick of the medical profession saying that twins are more dangerous and scary etc...... I have fraternal twins (most likely, its still possible to be identical but not really likely) therefore the risks are much lower than if they were sharing a placenta or amnion. Its just the medical profession lumping all twins into the same category and using scare tactics to frighten mothers into having caesarians. I am so over this.

I'm sorry for the rant, I just don't like being pregnant as I have medical complications that cause uncomfortable pregnancies and I'm already the size of a 40 week mumma with 16 1/2 weeks to go. over all if I was full term with a single bubba I would be really happy being this size as I am so very much smaller than with DD!!!!!

Again I'm sorry for the ranting I just need to let it out.

[Mayaness]

Oh, Bimboo I hope the HB network up where you are can get you in contact with a great middie!
I can relate to not enjoying pregnancy and feeling like the pregnancy grinch - so many people bang on about how wonderful it is to be pregnant...last thing I want to hear when my pelvis is screaming at me and I have to prematurely stop normal activity that keeps me sane (horse-riding!) etc. In a big way, I think being so hellbent on a peaceful, water and home-setting birth is my way of reclaiming my pregnancy experience for feeling ripped off during the pregnancy. Apart from always feeling that my births would not be the medicalised, traumatic version of birth peddled by contemporary society.
Hey, if you want it and set the wheels in motion to get it, you're so much more likely to achieve it than if you don't dream it at all Good luck, babe xxx

[Bimboo]

Thanks Mayaness,

I am feeling a lot better today, I am going through some legal stuff at present and as a result I think I am transferring that anxiety to the birth of my twins. I am just feeling as though all the naysayers are putting a damper on an otherwise happy event.

I too have a lot of pelvis pain. I have been told by my Chiropractor that I need to get a support belt to wear as the pain is not reducing with treatment only maintaining the current state. It's frustrating but hey it is twins and I should expect a more difficult pregnancy.

I do have a fantastic doula and as a result she is trying to get me the support that I need during this pregancy. She's already put aside much of her time to help me out and is planning to be around alot for the first two months after the birth. She is just not confident to do twins without help so we are trying to find someone that will fit with our family and at the moment we have eliminated the gold coast middies and are now on Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast. i am a little concerned with the distance as twins can come a lot quicker than singletons and they often give little warning, but hey that's life.

I am missing my horses, but not because of being pregnant, my horse is in Adelaide and I don't go there a lot. Hopefully after these bubba's are a bit bigger I will bring him up. He's just an old boy and I don't want to stress him too much. But he's great with kids.

Anyway I'm going to a homebirth meeting tomorrow and I am hoping to meet some ladies that have great birth stories.

[Tegam]

went to an OB/Gyno yesterday for a routine pap and boy did i get a lecture on homebirth. (went to an Gyno as i had a few medical questions i wanted to ask him rather than a clueless GP).

The lecture went for 10mins, and he used the statement 4 times "Well you got away with it once".... Then said if i was to have another baby i could negotiated from 35/36weeks when (not if) he would induce me..... using figures like 3-5% chance on Csec and 10% Special Care nursery...."but risk SO much safer than homebirth"....

He even said it again in the waiting room in front of everyone else! DH (who was in the waiting room) and i were ****ed off but just not surpriseded.

Like i would ever risk setting into a place like that when/if i got pregnant again! The private hospital that the Drs rooms are attached to have a 70% Csec rate!

[Mayaness]

Oh, man! I had this happen to me, too - go to a doc (in my case it was a GP) for something unrelated, they notice I'm pg and ask about my plans, then spout all their RANZCOG crap about risk and safety and 'life and death in a matter of minutes'...then it's too late an hour later when I want to go back and tell them that with skilled midwives it's so very rarely a matter of minutes for life and death to be determined because they know NORMAL birth and pick up on problems far sooner than medicos who only really see the tail end of birth...and usually medicalised birth, anyway! How frustrating for you - it's not easy to put it out of your head when you've been assaulted with that kind of negativity.
Like I say to people who tell me I was 'brave' - I'd be braver to take my chances in hospital!

[~kaos~]

HI all, it's been a while.

Has everyone heard about the new amendments to the bill? The ones that say that MW's must collaborate with GP/OB? And considering RANZCOG don't support homebirth (they have a formal statement that says so), that's really gonna work out well

Anyway, there are rallies in Brisbane (outside Rudd's office) and Melbourne (not sure, I'm in Brisbane ) on Monday, so if you want to share your disgust, please come along. It's very important!

If you want more details about the rallies let me know, I'll post them. They may already be a thread about them...

[Mayaness]

Going tomorrow to Julia Gillard's office if my headcold is better, or I'll be too shattered to parent my children for the rest of the week if I go and I'm still feeling rotten!

[tashybabe]

hi Bimboo, I was wondering if you'd found a midwife to help you yet. Have you thought of contacting Alan (one of the BB support people)? I understand he's a very good midwife and works out of QLD.

GL