I like to think I gentle parent.
I chat to
DS, I respect his opinions (even when he's telling me off - though I can see why!) and treat him like a person rather than a child. I won't spoon feed him. He doesn't want me to either. But MiL and Mum do it - I hate it!
DS laps it up though. They treat him like a baby so he gets a wicked grin on his face and sees what he can get away with.
Mum and Sis call me mean for telling
DS that I don't like people who kick, so he better stop kicking me or I won't want to play with him. It's not mean. It's the truth - and how many other people will feel about him too. He doesn't cry, he just understands he has to stop kicking. A woman at nursery told me that I was confusing
DS with adult talk and making him listen to 3 instructions in one sentence and asking about feelings and his day... he can't wait to come to me after he's been away from me and tell me what he's been up to now and WHY he did things.
DS is scared of a dog - I cuddle him. If he calms down I may see if we want to approach the dog together.
I'm big on rules. If
DS decides to kneel in the pushchair, the chair stops.
DS chucks a tanty, we stop playing. I'm cooking,
DS cooks with me. He chops up veggies with me... to the horror of most other parents! We play nice, we play safe, we play responsibly.
I talk through his emotions too. He's upset because... but that happened because... and we can make it right by... - this seems to work OK. When I ask him to apologise he does it right away now because he knows he can play again now!
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