Starting Out

[sparkynewell]

Hi there,
My partner Kylie and I are just starting the whole TTC thing. We have had some preliminary blood tests which were organised by the GP whilst awaiting our appointment with a OB/GYN at QFG in mid May. At this point we are keen to use a known donor and have a couple of options. We have so many questions but maybe we will start with just a few.
We have heard that due to my age (37yrs) that we may need to start straight up with egg harvesting? Has anyone had any experience/thoughts that they share?
We were also considering trying ourselves at home. If we were to try this....as far as getting the donor tested - is it just a matter of asking him to go to a GP or does he need to attend a fertility clinic?
Any advice is appreciated.
Peta

[~Leasha~]

Hi guys

I wanted to reply, but being young I don't have a whole lot of expexience that is relevant to you, sorry. My first thought would be to go to the fertility clinic and get some fertility investigations done... I had them done and was only 20 at the time, found I had PCOS and was not ovulating so needed extra help. I think its definately worth having it all looked in to, that way you don't waste any time doing home inseminations if you need extra help too.

As far as getting the donor tested, if you mean STD/HIV etc a trip to the GP is fine, if you mean testing his sperm I *think* thats best done at the clinic (don't quote me, we used an unknown donor so really don't know a lot about that part of it).

Good luck and I hope you get your BFP quickly!!!!!

[redlady]

Hi,

Im not gay but would like to offer my experiences and the knowledge that I know. I hope you don't mind.

My husband and I have to wait a long period till a sperm donor becomes available because of the change in the laws. When a child turns 18yrs they can find their biological father. So alot of men disappeared and don't donate anymore.

So we have found a man who is willing to donate. We are thinking of home insemination as the costs are alot less than IVF and we would be able to start our dream of having a family sooner. We have asked him to have HIV and an STD test first.

Our donor happens to have 4 children of his own and just wants to help someone have their family. He doesn't feel like it will be his children rather than our children. Its merely giving a gift to us in the way of making a family. We are happy that he doesn't want on going contact.

That is also a choice you will have to make if you decide on donor. Home insemination or IVF clinic. I hope IVF clinics have come into the light and do help gay couples become parents too.

If you want the donors sperm sample tested then I think a GP can give you a form. Afterall thats what the GP did for my husbands sperm sample test. In the end his sperm can't be used and thats why we are using a donor.

I hope this helps. Im sorry Im not gay but I thought this might help.


bye for now
redlady

[D&M]

hi there sparkynwell and redlady!

as far as harvesting eggs go, I would assume you would have to see a fertility specialist (clinic) for that. I dont believe its necessary just because you're 37, the only difference here in getting pregnant is you are self inseminating unless your doctor tells you differently. The donor should be screened as you know but stds and HIV are not the only tests that should be done, you can find this info on the net. If I could remember where I found it I would share it but I cant as it was sometime ago. either way, your doc should be able to tell you. these tests range from blood group to herpes simplex and the like. As far as him getting tested, if he uses a doc that isnt yours then his doc and your doc can be in communication with both parties consent. I guess it would be easier if he went to your doc and was screened but sometimes this doesnt agree with one or the other.

As far as waiting for sperm to become available because of the lack of donors in this country, there are many clinics who provide overseas donor sperm, depends on how long you want to wait and your preference to geneology.

Redlady, you dont need to apologise for being straight, you are who you are and are excepted for who you are, so quit apologising please lol its good to have difference here and I look forward to seeing msgs about your journey..

Sparkynwell, goodluck and its good to see another couple ttc in here, everyones story is helpful to another!

[BonanzaJellybean]

I haven't heard from my donor in days and Im trying not to stress!

My head is doing sumersaults! What if I've gone to all this expense and he doesn't turn up!

My best mate(BM), confidant and support (-mates since High school and was there when the G/F bashed me then left me!)
keeps telling me not to stress as it can affect Ov. I know this but I think its manefesting in other ways!...I am SO itchy down there it's rediculous! Not a good thing to happen at day 8 of my cycle!


B.M says some of my "what if's" are normal, every potential new mum goes through it, if I didn't I wouldn't be normal! You know the "What if Im a bad mum" stuff!

I just feel so alone right now, venturing out on my own and pushing myself outside my comfort zone. I don't like this uncertainty feeling! (the uncertainty of it working, him turning up, am I doing the right thing?)

I keep telling myself it will be OK.....but will it?

(My intro is posted in that thread. My user name is Bonanzjellybean because 'Even Cowgirls DO get the Blues!') but also because jelly beans are like rainbows!

[BonanzaJellybean]

[

No use sitting at home like this, so I went out for a walk in town. Looked at baby stuff in the shop windows and feel much better. When I got home there was a message from Donor!
Thank God for that!

[D&M]

good to hear you are a little more settled now bonanza!

[BonanzaJellybean]

Thanks D&M.

One day to go and Im on the train! It's all up to Mother Nature now!

[leather & lace]

This message is slightly belated , but we would just like to welcome all of the new BBers out there and wish them the very best of luck on their TTC journeys.

Sending , and wishing for that magic