Questions from Qld

[cath&denise]

Hello all,
I've been following the posts for a few months and am finally getting around to ask a few questions.
My partner Denise and I are going to start TTC in June - very exciting and scary.
We are using a known donor and have discussed the issues that we have thought of (including access), but are nervous that we have missed something big.
Does anyone know if Denise (non-bio mum) is able to be added to the birth certificate in QLD?
Any other things that we should discuss / consider before we go any further?
Thank you

Hi Cath & Denise,

Welcome to belly belly! My partner and I are going through the same thoughts as you have said at the moment as we are planning on starting TTC in December. I am pretty sure that in QLD we are still unable to have the nonbio mum on the birth certificate but I think you can have the nonbio mum submit the birth certificate and that gives you some kind of rights. There is also something I know little about, a parenting order. I don't know much about that but there is another lesbian couple on here who are 30 weeks preg in Brisbane and they have much more knowledge than me lol. Have you decided on a written contract or seeked advice from a family lawyer? Its just important that you and the donor know exactly where you stand in the agreement and all details are discussed and written down. We are still learning how everything works too but I hope this helps. You must be so excited, congrats and sending you lots of baby dust for your first cycle!

Lea & Sel

[~Leasha~]

Hi Cath and Denise

Lea is right, in QLD the NB mum can't be on the birth certificate yet. I *think* the NB mum can be the informant for the birth certificate but I don't know for certain (will let you know soon enough!). In terms of rights for your partner I would be looking at a Parenting Order, which makes her another legal guardian, and basically means she can do things that are automatically granted to the bio mum like authorise medical treatment etc. You can't actually apply until after bub is born but it is good to get the papers organised once you get pregnant so that everything can just be signed once bub is born.

In terms of a known donor, well I'm not really exactly sure (we used unknown). I think the biggest issues would be access, parenting roles (so what you will all be known as and what you'll do in those roles), support/maintainance, what happens if you and the sperm donor disagree on something, or he changes his mind about something, and wants full custody, and also the birth certificate. Make sure you have a parenting agreement/contract between the three of you. Of course, it doesn't always stand strong in court but at least you have it there to show intent of the kind of family structure you all wanted at one point in case things don't go to plan. And also the big ones between you and your partner, which you've probably already throught through.

HTH

[cath&denise]

Thank you Lea79 and Leasha for all your wonderful comments and advice.
I had really wanted Denise's name on the birth certificate, but looks like we will have to look into a parenting contract instead.
Lea, what does it mean for someone to be the birth certificate informant?