http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/ BellyBelly was established as a gentle parenting website, so this is a special place for members to discuss gentle parenting. en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:37:36 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/images/bellybelly2/misc/rss.jpg http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/ http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116962-how-much-does-your-3-4-year-old-sleep.html Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:14:44 GMT I was wondering how much your 3/4 year olds sleep. A while back I stopped making alex take a nap. He would sleep from like 3-6 and then not be sleepy until 10-11 and sleep until 8am. I was tired of not getting time off and wanted him to go to sleep early. Well since I started the no nap he falls to sleep really early. Yesterday he crashed on the sofa at 6pm. Today he was really fussy and tired so I put him down for a nap at 4pm and he hasn't woken up and probably will just sleep until tomorrow at around 7am.

Is it normal for a kid to sleep 12-14 hours from 6-7:30/8 Leo is always saying he is worried that there is something wrong with him for sleeping so much.

how much do your kids sleep and do you think I should get him checked out? Man do you ever stop worrying about your kids..LOL ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion rickystim5 http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116962-how-much-does-your-3-4-year-old-sleep.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116599-baby-sleeping-long-hours.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:09:06 GMT Is it normal for a baby to sleep straight from 11 o clock in the evening til 7 in the morning? This makes 8 hours straight. She is fed at 11 and then at 7 in the morning. Some people have told us that they should be woken up every 3 to 4 hours for their feed.

What's your opinion? ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion Jhoinsmath http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116599-baby-sleeping-long-hours.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116537-i-think-i-want-3-my-dear-husband-only-wants-2-a.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:49:10 GMT For a long long time I've always wanted 3 kids. To me it just seems right. Not too many that you have to upgrade to a bigger car, but just enough to feel like a big nice cozy family IYKWIM.

DH on the other hand has always only been keen on 2 kids, and worries about the financial impact of having 3.
After DD was born I began to agree as I had a pretty tough time in the early days and I started to doubt that i could cope with more than 2. Also I am a worry wart when it comes to finances :rolleyes:

But the niggling feeling is there. Deep down I still really want 3.
Anyone else had this issue with their DH, and how did you resolve it?

Either way I'd better get cracking ;) I'm nearly 33 and DD is already 2! ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion ~Mara~ http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116537-i-think-i-want-3-my-dear-husband-only-wants-2-a.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116469-death-kids.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:27:22 GMT Unfortunately my closest grandparents have passed, in DD1's (now 4yo) lifetime.
When Nana passed in 2007, we told her "she went to the star" and left it at that. All was well, she accepted she was in the stars and nothing further was said.
Now she Pop passed 2 months ago,:crying: and as we saw him twice a week for the past year, she wants to know where he has gone. We tried the "gone to the stars" story but it is not cutting it She has so many questions...
Can we visit?
When will they be back?
Why did they go?
I miss them?

I was wondering what I could tell her? What have you told your children.

Thanks ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion Queen http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116469-death-kids.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116378-suggestions-getting-toddler-eat-dinner.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:29:00 GMT Hi everyone.. I need some gentle parenting/attachment parenting advice, & thought this might be the place to ask :)

My 2.5 year old DS has started refusing to eat dinner, then later in the evening he asks for food. We do try to cook the things he likes but he just doesn't like veggies at all, no matter how we cook them. We have a general rule of no food after 3:00pm so he has a good appetite for dinner (dinner is between 5 & 6pm)

Tonight he was having an 'outside bath' in one of those blue clam shell sand-pit/wading pool thingys (he LOVES outside baths). It was so nice out that we decided to have dinner outdoors too. We got him sitting up at the table but he refused to eat. We said, "ok, no more bath". He still refused. DH said 'OK. If you don't eat your dinner I'll tip the bath out and we'll go inside". DS still refused to eat. DH tipped the water out. DS was so upset that he was a nightmare all evening until he finally fell asleep. He was tired, but I think the forceful/no compromise way we dealt with it contributed to how upset he was. He has had this kind of reaction before with similar parenting tactics (I made him stay inside for 5 minutes after he turned the water tank on when he's not allowed to).

Normally we don't parent like this and are much more compromising and gentle. When he engages in negative behaviour we explain why he can't do something, use gentle redirection, distraction, ignore it, etc. Up until now this style has worked really well for us. He is a lovely child who rarely does 'naughty' things. Lately, however, his behaviour has been more challenging and it's been more difficult to use gentle parenting methods to correct (or perhaps I should say that we're short on gentle parenting ideas), hence our experimentation with more strict and less compromising responses. He just became a big brother 2 months ago and i think this is definitely a factor in the increase in negatvie behaviour. It's also probably his age too as he starts to assert himself and test the boundaries.

His terrible reactions to our more strict parenting have made me feel so unsure of what to do and I'm now questioning myself. Is he reacting so badly because he's not used to hard and fast consequences? Do we need to continue giving consequences so that he learns that sometimes there are consequences in life? If we do continue will he adjust and learn to accept consequences and stop becoming so upset? Or will it just damage his trust in us and make him feel sad that we don't care about his feelings? Does it really matter if he doesn't eat dinner sometimes and has yogurt instead? Is it worth making a rule about it when it makes him so upset and makes the whole household stressed out? My mum forced me to eat veggies when I was little and I *hated* her for it, and I still remember how miserable and horrible I felt that she didn't care that they made me gag.

I should point out that it's not like he's never experienced consequences. He knows that if he is rough with his toys I will take them away or if he doesn't eat his lunch he doesn't get a treat, etc, but as a general rule we don't use punishments to stamp out negative behaviour.

So... I'd love to hear thoughts from other gentle parenting/attachment parenting perspectives... what would you do? What do you think? Any input is appreciated.
Thanks :) ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion skeetaboat http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116378-suggestions-getting-toddler-eat-dinner.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116238-how-do-they-learn-self-settle.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:52:29 GMT During the night DD feeds to sleep.

During the day she is rocked to sleep, then put down.

People have said to me that you can't teach self-settling without crying and I'm not interested in that. But how will DD ever learn to self-settle? Should I be doing something to teach her? I never even give her the opportunity bc she won't. If I put her in her cot she will play around then cry when she gets sick of it. She won't go to sleep by herself so I never try, just do our usual routine. So then how will she ever learn? I don't know how to help her learn? ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion Heaven http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/116238-how-do-they-learn-self-settle.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/115444-5-month-old-biting-my-booby.html Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:04:29 GMT My second child also bit a couple of times, but when I made it clear with a cross face and putting the booby away he stopped, my baby now seems to be encouraged by the same approach, he gets this cheeky look and I know a bite is coming, sometimes I can get it out quick enough and sometimes not! If he is sucking and I pull it out it generally hurts anyway, and those new baby teeth are sharp little things!
Obviously there is no one answer, some ideas that are gentle or other experiences might help! I have no plans to stop feeding, I'll go until at least 18 months if possible, anyway..... We now laugh at our second child's biting episodes, so I guess while it hurts now I'll laugh later....
Looking forward to hearing the stories! ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion gardeningkate http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/115444-5-month-old-biting-my-booby.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/114874-besides-physical-stuff.html Sun, 25 Oct 2009 13:28:52 GMT How do you gently parent your kids (besides boobs, cloth nappies, sling wearing and BLS)?

I know there is the cliche that gentle parenting is all about letting your children run wild if you are an attachment parent or gentle parent, but I think thats a load of rubbish. I don't think that is parenting at all TBH. And gentle parenting on the emotional side is not just sitting back and letting them fend for themselves.

I think of myself as a very emotionally involved parent. And by that I mean, I try to nurture and understand every emotion my children may experience and give them the age appropriate tools to deal with that emotion. I don't stop this because I'm tired, or because I have guests over or because I'm at a shopping centre. My parenting NEEDS to be consistent even when I am sick. I might not be up for as many deep and meaningful conversations if I've got a head cold but it doesn't mean I can't listen or acknowledge or set boundaries, and yes sometimes I have meltdowns and lack patience. And y'know its not exactly a walk in the park, its hard work but I LOVE it. I love the rewards, I love how people compliment how well adjusted and emotionally mature my kids are. I love my daughters comprehension and ability to nurture ME when I'm feeling blue and when I feel guilty and say it's not her job I get a lecture from my 7 yr old (who is not afraid to speak her mind) that its not a job, and she should be allowed to make me feel better as I make her and how its good practice for her to be a mum - awwwww.

I have always talked to them as if they could understand me even from when they were first born, and people would look at me like I was a freak. I never spoke "baby talk" or talked down to them like they were mentally challenged even though half the time I knew they didn't quite understand. I have never talked about them as though they are too stupid to understand what I'm saying. I respect them as I would you or anyone else. Because thats the kind of respect I hope I can earn from them.

But the thing that always seems to crack me up is the impression that a non-smacking parent is a lazy one. Far from it, the effort I put in with my kids is from the time they wake up till the time they go to sleep is huge. And I am fully prepared to leave groceries at the store, or leave from a cafe mid catch up if my children need me. Whether they need to be reassured, entertained or even have boundaries reaffirmed. Thats MY job. That is what I am here to teach them. But I don't suffer for this, I still have fun and I love my life. I am not lonely and without social contact. But I know this for the first few years of their lives they need A LOT from us. And if we can give it to them their confidence and independence will soar and with that comes more independence from us. So on those days where I feel like if I don't sit down with 5 minutes peace for 5 seconds I might scream, I try and remind myself that this time is way more valuable and important to them than that 5 minutes. I can have a coffee another day when they aren't so tired... I can get DH to pick up these groceries later, and maybe I should have rethought attempting to grocery shop right before lunch and blood sugar levels might be low.

And to me gentle parenting is not about being a martyr nor is it about getting it easy. Its just different and its about how I can show my child that I respect them as who they are, regardless of stature and understanding and that I am there for them no matter what. I don't gentle parent because its easy for me, I do it because I personally think its best for them and so far I've been proven right. And I think for me I have a very strong emotional memory relating back to my own childhood and that probably encourages me to stick at it.

So, besides the physical stuff, how do you gentle parent? ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion Rouge http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/114874-besides-physical-stuff.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/114686-having-hard-time.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:46:07 GMT Since falling pg i have been increasingly tired and snappy. I am finding it all just too hard at the moment (and i am only 7 weeks!) and am turning into a monster :cry: Poor little MJ must be wondering who has taken her patient and loving Mumma and replaced it with the awful woman that i have recently become. Everything is annoying me,, poor DH is bearing the brunt of my frustration, but today i really havent been nice to MJ at all and i feel awful. I dont know what to do, im sitting here crying... i just want to be nice again... Please tell me this will stop soon... i cant remember being like this when i was pg with MJ :( :( :( Since falling pg i have been increasingly tired and snappy.

I am finding it all just too hard at the moment (and i am only 7 weeks!) and am turning into a monster :cry:

Poor little MJ must be wondering who has taken her patient and loving Mumma and replaced it with the awful woman that i have recently become.

Everything is annoying me,, poor DH is bearing the brunt of my frustration, but today i really havent been nice to MJ at all and i feel awful.

I dont know what to do, im sitting here crying... i just want to be nice again...

Please tell me this will stop soon... i cant remember being like this when i was pg with MJ :( :( :( ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion Sammiejane http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/114686-having-hard-time.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/114665-gippsland-vic-sourrounding-areas-__-natural-parents.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:21:35 GMT Hi there!

i'm writting in hope that there are 'other' natural parents/carers out there who live in Gippsland, Vic area...?

I'm keen to form some sort of support network (or just for socializing) for like minded people or peoples interested in - gentle parenting, attachment parenting, ECing, home/un-schoolers etc, homebirth, non-coercive parenting etc etc...

Would love to hear form some of you! ;) ]]> Gentle Parenting General Discussion naturalmum http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/gentle-parenting-general-discussion/114665-gippsland-vic-sourrounding-areas-__-natural-parents.html