http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/ If you have experienced a loss, please use this forum to share your stories. If you have just had a loss or have had one in the past, please post here. en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:28:16 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/images/bellybelly2/misc/rss.jpg http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/ http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/117250-all-over-another-one-bites-dust.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:30:29 GMT ............. ............. ]]> Your Stories of Loss CelticMoon http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/117250-all-over-another-one-bites-dust.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/116482-my-story.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:16:35 GMT Hello I found out that I lost my baby last week on Thursday I havent even been able to say it out loud yet. It passed naturally on Tuesday night but I didnt find out until Thursday as the doctor had me on bed rest as I had a blood clot associated with the pregnancy. This is my third loss, the first one was a blighted ovum, the second an eptopic. This was not only the hardest because it was the third but also because this was the first time we had seen the baby and it had finally found its home. The doctor has now reccomended that we get some tests done that may or may not give us some answers this time. I just seem to be a mess at the moment I went back to work straight away which helped but I am just so angry. I am trying to pretend to everyone that I am ok but I really am not coping well and I dont know what to do. I have alot of friends with babies and I can relate to some other posts with it being really hard to be around them. Anyway thanks for listening and it really has helped me to even talk about it on here. :D Hello

I found out that I lost my baby last week on Thursday I havent even been able to say it out loud yet. It passed naturally on Tuesday night but I didnt find out until Thursday as the doctor had me on bed rest as I had a blood clot associated with the pregnancy.

This is my third loss, the first one was a blighted ovum, the second an eptopic.

This was not only the hardest because it was the third but also because this was the first time we had seen the baby and it had finally found its home.

The doctor has now reccomended that we get some tests done that may or may not give us some answers this time.

I just seem to be a mess at the moment I went back to work straight away which helped but I am just so angry.

I am trying to pretend to everyone that I am ok but I really am not coping well and I dont know what to do.

I have alot of friends with babies and I can relate to some other posts with it being really hard to be around them.

Anyway thanks for listening and it really has helped me to even talk about it on here. :D ]]> Your Stories of Loss Donna http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/116482-my-story.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/115629-yesterday.html Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:23:00 GMT I hope this makes sense

We went for what was suppose to be our 12week scan yesterday but we were saddened to find out that 4 weeks ago our baby grew wings and flew up to heaven @ around 8weeks. We were shocked to the core. In the past few days i had had some spotting but thought nothing of it and had no other signs that anything was a miss. The sonogragher was most apologetic and kept saying he was sorry for being the one to deliver the news.

We seen the doctor yesterday and he was on the ball from the moment we went into his office we didnt need to say or explain anything. He explained what had happened and told me it was a "missed abortion" and explained my options and we chose for me to have a d&c but because we're in a country town i wont be able to have it done until Wednesday morning as the surgical staff arent in everyday. He explained the procedure and made sure i would have someone drop me off at the hospital and pick me up and also have someone at home with me.

DF has his 2nd uni exam on Wednesday afternoon so MIL will finish early to come look after Sophie & I. Then Thursday-Friday DF needs to go to Canberra to find somewhere to live as he's starting a new job down there starting Monday.

So my dear beautiful sisters (TK1999 being 1 of them) are driving up from Sydney on Wednesday to stay Wednesday-Friday as i think they need to be with me as much i need them to be with me. They dont want me to be alone.

We didnt have a dating scan because we were sure of our dates and we werent honestly going to have the 12week scan as we didnt with DD but thought we would because we didnt have the dating scan.

Please keep us in your thoughts.

Joanne, Chris & Sophie
xox ]]> Your Stories of Loss Bonham08 http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/115629-yesterday.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/115518-yesterday.html Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:32:13 GMT Yesterday I was posting in the belly buddies forum and couldn't even look at the title for this forum and now I'm here how much can change in 24hrs.

Been trying to tell myself that it wasn't really a baby yet but to me it was.

I was 5 almost 6 six weeks along when out of nowhere today and horribly at work I started getting cramps and bleeding. It really felt and still feels like a normal period. I went to the royal womens where they did a blood test for levels of hCG as my dr did not test levels only amount. I was told my levels were so low it was comparable to 1-2 days pregnant not 5-6 weeks and that it was likely a failed pregnancy and the levels were going down. They told me to come back in a week for another blood test. Then gave me a pamphlet on miscarriage and sent me home.

I am alone right now because my partner is in QLD (i'm in VIC) and its really hard I've been crying almost non stop since 5 oclock. So tired but I can't stand to close my eyes. I wish I could say this was a shock but I have been expecting this from the start as I did not feel I was good enough to be pregnant. It was too good to be true. So many peple I know are pregnant right now including a friend who is 12 weeks I don't know how I'm going to handle that. I just want to do this day over again maybe I can change something and everything will be alright? ]]> Your Stories of Loss Baby Belly http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/115518-yesterday.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/114894-finally-ready-share-my-story.html Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:21:39 GMT It has taken me a while to feel ready to share my story, but I feel comfortable enough here at BB, everyone is so nice here. This is the first time I've put all of this into words, so excuse the length and disjointedness of it. Last night I saw a story on 60 minutes about miscarriage that just brought it all home for me, and with that as well as the fact that my first due date would have been soon (30th nov) I just felt it was time.
Just a warning for some, it may be a bit distressing.

I guess it all started in February. In the middle of last year I had gotten back from working in the UK an US. My father had died from complications of a car crash, as had my uncle. When I got back home, DF (then DP) and I decided that family is what we want most of all, it was and is what is important to us, and that we were going to start trying. I went off the pill that month, and by the end of March, I was pregnant. It was so amazing, we thought it would take so much longer than that, but we were overjoyed.An incredible month passed.

It all happened very rapidly. On the morning of 21st of April, I had a bit of bright pink/red blood when I wiped, and immediately called my doctor. She told me to keep an eye on it if it got any worse or was accompanied by any pain, and to come in if I was worried, but some bleeding in early pregnancy is quite normal. Later that evening the bleeding had gone completely, and DF and I went to bed. Looking back I think I knew something was wrong then; I felt different, my morning sickness didn't feel that bad that night, and my breasts were not as sore.

DF left for uni the next day. I stayed home as I wasn't feeling well. I was sitting in bed when I felt a terrible pain in my abdomen. It felt kind of like a ripping, pulling sensation. As soon as I got out of bed, I saw the sheets were covered in blood. I called DF in hysterics, begging him to come home. I went and sat on the toilet (neither of us had any idea what else to do) and in that time I passed a few large clots, about the size of a golf ball, and the cramps where almost unbearable. DF stayed on the phone to me the entire way home, and by the time he walked through the door, I had vomitted all over the floor. As soon as he was home we went to the hospital. I was soaking through a pad every 20-30 minutes, and by the time we got to the hospital I was barely conscious. All I can remember is DF half dragging me to the ER, and the look and everyone's faces. We must have looked pretty bad; I remember catching my reflection in the glass and all I could think was how young I looked. A nurse set us up and took blood for a BHCG, but I think it was pretty obvious there was nothing that could be done. They couldn't get any urine as there was too much blood happening down there. I have to say though, DF was amazing. He held me and stroked my hair the entire time, just comforted me. The nurses at my hospital were incredible too. Because I was bleeding so heavily, the doctors recommended a D&C. To be honest, I didn't really want one, and said so, that I was only 8 weeks and it should pass naturally. But the doctors insisted that, because of the blood loss, it would be safer to do the D&C. I'll never forget that awful, empty feeling I had when I woke up; our baby was gone. I stayed at the hospital for another couple of hours for monitoring, and was eventually sent home with some medication for the bleeding and cramping. I was 8wks, 3d.

I had a very hard time coping emotionally after that. I felt like it was my fault. Seeing another woman pregnant killed me. On top of that, I was so afraid of my body, of what it could do. Talking to my mother, who has also had a miscarriage, my experience was more extreme than hers. I think the worst part was not knowing why it happened.

Two months later it happened again. I was back on the pill when I felt the need to test. BFP. Again, DF and I were over the moon, but this time a lot more cautious and scared. Four days later, I started bleeding, and that progressed on to be much like a regular period. It was devastating, to happen again. I had some tests done after that and found out I had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, along with a strain of Strep, both which I had contracted from the D&C. I was put on a course of antibiotics, but it was very hard to get rid of and aggressive, and I was advised that there may be some minor scarring. I'm just so scared I'll never have a child, and I'm only 19.

And now here I am again. DF and I have decided that we are going to start TTC full time (lol) this month. I went off the pill in September, and am now 7 days late for AF. I'm going in for a BT today, fingers crossed We're both praying for a healthy, happy, and sticky bubby that we can call our own :)

Thankyou for enduring my extremely long story :clap: It feels so amazing to get all of that off of my chest. ]]> Your Stories of Loss PumpkinZulu http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/114894-finally-ready-share-my-story.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/114875-little-ellie.html Sun, 25 Oct 2009 13:43:13 GMT Hi all Just needed to get this out and hope it can help me start making sense of this situation. Ill start from the start ... I fell pregnant when i was 19 years old and gave birth to a little boy kai james on 21.06.05. on his exact due date weighing a healthy 7.2lbs. My second little boy is taj william and was born at 33 weeks weighing in at 4.5lbs. After 3.5 weeks in special care he came home and is now a healthy bubbly little 2 year old terror. I had been over seas to Bali 2 weeks before his birth so i felt that the travel could have contributed to his early labor. I had PPROM which caused the birth with no warning making me think that maybe i had picked up a bug or infection from the food/water etc. I was currently pregnant with our 3rd and final child up until friday 23rd oct 09. I was found at 27 weeks to be 3-4cm dilated and was put on strick bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. On fri morn i woke and as i got out of bed felt some liquid down my leg. It turned out to be blood and i went to the hospital straight away. On arrival i was assesed and was found to be 6 cm and with a bulging sac. I didnt even feel any pain just what i thought were BH over the past few weeks ! Every precaution was taken to stay ontop of keeping this pregnacy going. At 10 pm on fri night my waters broke ! ahhhh i was head down legs up in bed trying to hold onto my waters haha and swoosh down it came. Not too enjoyable ... With 2 contractions later and 3 pushes ( ellie was breech however due to being so tiny was very easy to labor naturally) ellie was born.:clap: She was a beautiful peite little thing weighing in at 2.4lbs. She had a full head of dark hair and was just so precious. I only had time for one round of steriod injections and unfortunatly she was unable to survive more than 2 hours. She had 2 horrible lungs. They said that at 28 weeks she had an excellent chance of survival if she had even 1 good lung. She passed away in her mummys arms holding her daddys finger. The hospital was excellent. We got to bath her, dress her and have a lay down and cuddles. i have many many photos and her hand and foot prints and we also cut some locks of hair for keep safes. The hardest part was when we left the hospital and had nothing. Our little princess was there by herself. The thing i am really struggling with is the fact that i have 2 beautiful boys at home that i have to keep going for but i just cannot get her out of my head for even 2 secs. My milk has just started coming in and it has been only 48 hours and it sucks. Its like a knock back to reality because i have no use for it ! I was only 28 weeks so i was not that big. I wasnt in the first place however my stomach has already dissapeared. I am already back down to 47 kgs and i look like i wasnt even pregnant. I dont even have my jelly belly to hold on to ! My concern is also i cannot speak to anyone right now. I dont want to take my son to kinder in the morn even because that means i have to talk. The mothers new i was pregnant and now i turn up with nothing ! And i cannot break down in front of my sons but i fear i will if any question is raised. So now i cannot do it anymore. I am klucky to have 2 beautiful boys but no one can take ellies place and i wont be trying any more. I am guessing i have an IC due to 2 premature births. I will prob be talking about that to my doc on my follow up visit but going from 1 full term, 1 at 33 weeks and 1 at 28 weeks its not looking good to me to take the chance again. Thank you for listening and i know it has only been 48hours and im sure it will become even harder once the shock wears off i think but i really needed to get that out xxxxx Hi all
Just needed to get this out and hope it can help me start making sense of this situation. Ill start from the start ...
I fell pregnant when i was 19 years old and gave birth to a little boy kai james on 21.06.05. on his exact due date weighing a healthy 7.2lbs.
My second little boy is taj william and was born at 33 weeks weighing in at 4.5lbs. After 3.5 weeks in special care he came home and is now a healthy bubbly little 2 year old terror. I had been over seas to Bali 2 weeks before his birth so i felt that the travel could have contributed to his early labor. I had PPROM which caused the birth with no warning making me think that maybe i had picked up a bug or infection from the food/water etc.
I was currently pregnant with our 3rd and final child up until friday 23rd oct 09. I was found at 27 weeks to be 3-4cm dilated and was put on strick bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. On fri morn i woke and as i got out of bed felt some liquid down my leg. It turned out to be blood and i went to the hospital straight away. On arrival i was assesed and was found to be 6 cm and with a bulging sac. I didnt even feel any pain just what i thought were BH over the past few weeks !
Every precaution was taken to stay ontop of keeping this pregnacy going. At 10 pm on fri night my waters broke ! ahhhh i was head down legs up in bed trying to hold onto my waters haha and swoosh down it came. Not too enjoyable ... With 2 contractions later and 3 pushes ( ellie was breech however due to being so tiny was very easy to labor naturally) ellie was born.:clap:
She was a beautiful peite little thing weighing in at 2.4lbs. She had a full head of dark hair and was just so precious.
I only had time for one round of steriod injections and unfortunatly she was unable to survive more than 2 hours. She had 2 horrible lungs. They said that at 28 weeks she had an excellent chance of survival if she had even 1 good lung.
She passed away in her mummys arms holding her daddys finger.
The hospital was excellent. We got to bath her, dress her and have a lay down and cuddles. i have many many photos and her hand and foot prints and we also cut some locks of hair for keep safes.
The hardest part was when we left the hospital and had nothing. Our little princess was there by herself.

The thing i am really struggling with is the fact that i have 2 beautiful boys at home that i have to keep going for but i just cannot get her out of my head for even 2 secs.
My milk has just started coming in and it has been only 48 hours and it sucks. Its like a knock back to reality because i have no use for it !
I was only 28 weeks so i was not that big. I wasnt in the first place however my stomach has already dissapeared. I am already back down to 47 kgs and i look like i wasnt even pregnant. I dont even have my jelly belly to hold on to !
My concern is also i cannot speak to anyone right now. I dont want to take my son to kinder in the morn even because that means i have to talk. The mothers new i was pregnant and now i turn up with nothing ! And i cannot break down in front of my sons but i fear i will if any question is raised.

So now i cannot do it anymore. I am klucky to have 2 beautiful boys but no one can take ellies place and i wont be trying any more. I am guessing i have an IC due to 2 premature births. I will prob be talking about that to my doc on my follow up visit but going from 1 full term, 1 at 33 weeks and 1 at 28 weeks its not looking good to me to take the chance again.

Thank you for listening and i know it has only been 48hours and im sure it will become even harder once the shock wears off i think but i really needed to get that out xxxxx ]]> Your Stories of Loss bindw http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/114875-little-ellie.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/114730-shocked.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:31:21 GMT Am 15 and half wks preg with bub no 4. I had dating scan at 7wks and all was good. I went for a dr appoint today, and she used ultrasound machine and couldnt find a heartbeat and bubs only measured at 10 wks. She believes bub died about 5 wks ago. I have to have a scan at the hospital on Mon. I am shocked and devastated. There is no history of miscarriage and with 3 healthy kids have never had any cause for concern. Im hanging onto hope that the fact that my bladder was empty (had just done a urine sample), the machine was new and the dr possibly not a fully trained radiographer (is that what they are called?) that she made a mistake. She also saw what she thinks was a fibroid, which was not shown on my 7 wks scan. I havent had any miscarriage syptoms and Im still having nausea (although not as bad as it was) and tender breasts. I am so confused and so upset that this has happened! Am I just fooling myself into hoping that the Dr has got it wrong? The wait is torture (until I can have another scan). Am 15 and half wks preg with bub no 4. I had dating scan at 7wks and all was good. I went for a dr appoint today, and she used ultrasound machine and couldnt find a heartbeat and bubs only measured at 10 wks. She believes bub died about 5 wks ago. I have to have a scan at the hospital on Mon. I am shocked and devastated.

There is no history of miscarriage and with 3 healthy kids have never had any cause for concern. Im hanging onto hope that the fact that my bladder was empty (had just done a urine sample), the machine was new and the dr possibly not a fully trained radiographer (is that what they are called?) that she made a mistake. She also saw what she thinks was a fibroid, which was not shown on my 7 wks scan. I havent had any miscarriage syptoms and Im still having nausea (although not as bad as it was) and tender breasts. I am so confused and so upset that this has happened!

Am I just fooling myself into hoping that the Dr has got it wrong? The wait is torture (until I can have another scan). ]]> Your Stories of Loss michaidy http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/114730-shocked.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/114729-lost.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:11:23 GMT well i'll start from the start, me and my Dh had been TTC for about 4mths and recently we just got married. WE were so happy and enjoying our honeymoon, I decided to take a HPT after DH and I both had dreams that I was pregnant. So I did and there was a second line, it was feint but definitely there, we were so happy that finally it happened but then I decided to poas the next morning, only to find the line was now even feinter. I kept telling myself that that meant nothing but the following day I started spotting and then bleeding. Bleeding was lighter then normal period but went for longer, but no pain nothing. I have no Idea what was normal to lose a baby at approx 4weeks, so figured when I got back from my honeymoon i'd go and see the Dr, my GP has moved so had to see someone else, she was hopeless and gave me no info just did a quantatative BHCG at my request and away I went home. I waited a few days for my results as everytime I rang,the DR still hadn't reviewed them, got my results today- and all they said was- not pregnant. Is that all you are going to tell me I thought, what now? So was the misscarriage complete or what, how do I know? am I right to start TTC again?? why was I not told anything and left to be in this lost world. At first I thought I was ok about it atleast knowing I could get pregnant, but now i'm just lost. Don't know what to think or what to feel....just lost. ]]> Your Stories of Loss em... http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/your-stories-loss/114729-lost.html