http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/ After the birth, or perhaps when the babymoon is over, we often reflect back on our birth experience. Was it not what you hoped? Confused? Full of unanswered questions? Share your thoughts here and receive unbiased support on your disappointing birthing experience. en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:22:50 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/images/bellybelly2/misc/rss.jpg http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/ http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/de-briefing-disappointing-traumatic-births/116495-birthdays-arnt-supposed-sad.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:29:32 GMT Just a little background - I have three son's aged 7, 5 and 8months. My first two son's were c-sections. The first was emergency, second elective (although I wasn't actually given a choice) then my third son was a VBA2C.

Anyway today is DS2 birthday. He's 5 today and I have really struggled all day. I can't get the memories of his birth out of my head..... any they are NOT nice memories. They bring back sadness and horribul feelings.
I love all my children and I am so happy that I had a VBA2C but now I know what it was that I missed out on with the first two births.

I can't get back those first few minutes, the first feed, the first cuddle, the first nappy change..... all the firsts I didn't get to do with either of my two eldest children. And I struggled with PND with the first two boys..... I took a long time to bond and never really felt like I was capable of being a good mother. With my baby I got all those firsts and I feel connected with him. I feel at one with him. It hurts so much to think about what I missed with my eldest sons. DH spoke today about waiting to come into the theatre on the day of his birth (DS2).... I fought back tears. I though it was supposed to get easier and not harder..... hopefully it'll be easier next year!

I just needed to vent....... express how I'm feeling. ]]> De-Briefing Disappointing or Traumatic Births julie_ann_jules http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/de-briefing-disappointing-traumatic-births/116495-birthdays-arnt-supposed-sad.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/de-briefing-disappointing-traumatic-births/116207-why-dont-they-debrief-automatically.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:53:33 GMT This has only really come up in the last few weeks as one of my sisters gets closer to TTC. After talking with her (an RN) I know that I havent completely come to terms with my birth, kinda just swept it under the carpet and never think of it again...

However its got me thinking about how very lacking my care was. Yes my hospital was great in that they kept me alive with all my girly bits but no one came near me after that.

I was a GA C/S who had bleeding trouble. As such there is VERY little that *I* actually remember about it all. The bits I do remember were never explained to me. Why is it that no one told me what happened? Why is it that this is not a point of procedure? There were a lot of things that went wrong up until that point of delivery and these were never explained to me either. To this day I have no idea what happened with and to my body... Shouldnt someone have come to me (my GP, the ob that delivered) and told me what happened? :shakehead:

Why dont they? :(

As a side note, im terrified of my sister having a wonderful birth experience that i never had and she's not even pregnant yet :cry: I feel awful... ]]> De-Briefing Disappointing or Traumatic Births mum1984 http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/de-briefing-disappointing-traumatic-births/116207-why-dont-they-debrief-automatically.html http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/de-briefing-disappointing-traumatic-births/115945-de-brief-hospital-today-what-should-i-ask.html Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:30:32 GMT I was so hoping for a VBAC, but it didn't turn out that way. Below is a brief outline of how my labour went. I am going to the hospital today, hoping to get some closure, so I can stop obsessing about my second CS, and start thinking realistically about trying for a VBA2C when I become pregnant next time, but I'm not sure exactly what I should be asking. Any suggestions??

PS - I know it's last minute, but my hospital appt is at 2pm today, any suggestions would be appreciated before 1pm :pray:

Thanks



Tuesday 2/6/09
? Hospital appointment at 1.15pm to discuss induction in 8-10 days. Have an appointment in 7 days to book in for the induction.
? Woke at about 9pm feeling very sick
? Felt first contraction at 10pm.

Wednesday 3/6/09
? Woke every 35 mins from 3am to 6am with contractions.
? Got up at 6am. Too excited to sleep any more.
? DH and DD left for work and school. Had breakfast and went for a walk.
? Sent mum a text and asked her to come up from the Gold Coast.
? Some contractions are strong and some are soft, so just keeping track of the really strong ones and they are lasting about 25-30 seconds and are about an hour apart.
? Contractions have pretty much stopped from 9am.
? Contractions started again at about 4pm

Thursday 4/6/09
? Woke every 30 mins with contractions last night, gradually getting stronger and longer each time, lasting upto 90 seconds
? Waters broke at 5.10am
? Phoned the hospital and they told me to come in for a check
? Wasn?t very dilated (they didn?t give me a measurement)
? Gave me the option of going home or staying at the hospital
? Chose to go home and was told to come back when contractions were 3 mins apart
? At 11am contractions were 4 mins apart and lasting anywhere up to 2 mins each
? The pain was unbearable and I felt I had to go back to the hospital
? At 3:45pm - 4cm dilated
? At 7:50pm - 3-4cm dilated
? As there had been no change in four hours syntocin drip was started at 10:30pm & epidural was given. I figured if I was going to have the syntocin, I may as well do it as painlessly as possible.

Friday 5/6/09
? 12:40am - 6cm dilated
? 2:50am - 8cm dilated
? 4:00am syntocin was turned off as they were worried about Lily?s heartbeat. They *****ed her head three times to try and get an oxygen reading but the machine to test the blood wasn?t working (this is why they had to do it three times!)
? 5:00am - 9cm dilated. Syntocin was re-started and I was given an hour to progress.
? 6:50am ? 9cm dilated still :( Lily?s head was in a transverse position and the moulding of her head suggested an obstructed labour. We then decided we had tried everything possible and opted for a caesarean
? 7:39am ? Our beautiful baby Lily made her entrance into the world with a beautiful cry (exactly one week over due). 56cm, 3.902kg.
? 7:40am ? Placenta delivered
? 8:30am ? Had very sore collar bones (due to the pressure on my diaphragm, I was told), had gone a dreadful shade of red and a terrible case of the shakes. Hearing the anaesthetist discussing it with DH and saying ?This is not normal? was not very comforting!
? 8:50am-ish ? Shakes finally stopped. Phew. ]]> De-Briefing Disappointing or Traumatic Births joey123 http://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/de-briefing-disappointing-traumatic-births/115945-de-brief-hospital-today-what-should-i-ask.html