Donor Conception General Chatter # 9

[Joy08]

Hi Everyone

No news yet.... just waiting, waiting, waiting!! All going well & bubs is in position so just playing the waiting game at the moment!!

Lieve - I hope your donor gets the 2nd test done soon! It's good his clinic said not to be too concerned with the first test... hopefully that has put you at ease a little?

Clemo - Great that you have the ball rolling with things! I felt a lot more in control of the situation when I was organising the appointments - feels like you are getting a step closer & moving forward!

Tarkine - How are things going? How is Alex? Hope all is well!

xxx

[Sara69]

Hi Julie,

I just yesterday found an ad on essential baby for a US donor agency clinic, it seemed to cost $UD 7000 which went to the donor and another $US 5000 to the agency and that's before any medical costs.

Wondering if anyone here has any tips on where to advertise for a donor - I've found the aussieeggdonor website which seems to be a good way and also thinking of Sydney Child but would be helpful to know where others found their donors.

Wishing you all good luck whereever you are on your journey.

Sara

[futuremum]

Hi sara we are looking into US donor agencys too

clemo we have sent our ad off to the VIc Minister of Health to get approved, I also found AED and am feeling better excited even about donor.

Hello to everyone :-)

[Clemo]

Joy - That's great that bub is in position and ready to go! Not long now.

Sara & Futuremum - great news on getting started. I hope you find your lovely donor ladies soon.

[futuremum]

Does anyone know where you get the essential baby magazine?

[Clemo]

Futuremum - Forgive me if I'm wrong but I think Sara is talking about Essential Baby the webiste. it's another forum like this one.

[futuremum]

I've got my husband out searching for the essential baby magazine

[Clemo]

[Sara69]

Sorry for the confusion - futuremum what username are you using on AED so that I can look out for you? Mine is the same I am using here.

Sara

[Lieve]

Futuremum - thanks for giving me the first good laugh of the day....and a good one at that!

Futuremum, Julie and Sara - Have your clinics mentioned anything to you about the laws governing importing donor gametes and how this is expected to be outlawed by jan2010? Redlady was on here a few weeks ago saying this is what she had been told. I haven't asked my clinic yet.

[buliej]

I am just starting to consider donor egg and I don't know all the in's and out's - but I wasn't even thinking of importing it - but doing the whole cycle in the US if we go that way. I don't know what this would mean and that's what I'm starting to explore. Would we make a trip over that would involve DH leaving some sperm at a clinic there - then they'd fertilize eggs over there and freeze them, defrosting them when it is right for my cycle's timing - at which point we'd need to make another trip over at which point they'd do an egg transfer? I just don't know anything about it.

I just can't deal with any more of the obstacles the government here seems to be wanting to put in the path to a baby for those of us who can't conceive without help - it's just too much for me at this point. I don't see how any law passed here could prevent me from doing this if it doesn't involve importing anything. What do you know/think about this?

I have so many questions about this path (many of which have nothing to do with the process but rather the emotions and feelings involved with the donor egg path) and I don't even know how to articulate them as they are all still fuzzy to me.

After 3 trisomies, I do think I need to start thinking about alternatives to my own eggs - not that there are many....either stopping TTC or Donor Egg. We will probably do a few more ivf cycles with my own eggs, but I want to start getting my head around the Donor Egg path in case this is where we end up.

[Sara69]

Buliej

If it helps anything and it probably doesn't at this point, I think you would be such a good candidate for donore eggs, you obviously have no problem getting pregnant which is the main thing. Really sorry to hear that it was anothe trisomy.

Lieve: I am currently not considering to go overseas for this. Also like Buliej I thought the only way to do this would be to have the cycle overseas or fly the donor to Australia, never knew there was the option of importing the eggs. My FS mentioned the options of going overseas, she especially mentioned South Africa and Greece.

Futuremum: I found you and said hello on AED in your thread.

Sara

[wouldloveabubba]

Originally Posted by Lieve

Futuremum - thanks for giving me the first good laugh of the day....and a good one at that!

Futuremum, Julie and Sara - Have your clinics mentioned anything to you about the laws governing importing donor gametes and how this is expected to be outlawed by jan2010? Redlady was on here a few weeks ago saying this is what she had been told. I haven't asked my clinic yet.

Correct me if I am wrong, however I thought Redlady's post was about donor sperm being outlawed, you have to wonder though about eggs ..

[Lieve]

Actually that makes sense, freezing and thawing eggs has quite a low success rate, so I don't imagine people import them anyway (not sure what i was thinking...obviously having a vague moment). But i wonder then, if you can import fertilized embryos (or if you would still need ot make two trips to the US)? We've also considered going OS for our sperm donor, but after considering that that would mean undergoing IVF without being covered by the country's health insurance it works out easier and cheaper for us to fly our (known) donor here. So much to consider...there's definitely a market out there for a specialist who can navigate the system and help people like us that are at our wits end. I remember reading a post on here months ago where somebody likened going through IVF with visiting an enormous mansion, each time you went back to visit you'd discover a different door which would open into a different room and basically you had to make your way slowly through all the rooms before you could eventually get your head around the whole rigmarole.

Buliej - does your clinic offer specific donor counselling to help you work out what some of your questions are? It really helped DH and I, especially in the earlier days, when as you descibe so perfectly, all your thoughts are 'so fuzzy'. Anyway, it's tough trying to contemplate using a donor when you still hold onto a bit of hope of conceiving with your own.

[Clemo]

it's tough trying to contemplate using a donor when you still hold onto a bit of hope of conceiving with your own.

This is so true Lieve but unfortunately I don't think I'll ever stop hoping that 1 day my body will come through for me. Although I've never fallen pg naturally and have been told I have a "hostile environment" (not friendly to sperm) but have also been told that this is a grey area and can change.
That's the 1 thing I am dreading - that every month I will be hoping and will be let down when af arrives.

Hopefully I might 'get over it' if we're succesfull with DE.

[Lieve]

so true clemo, even now against all the advice of all the doctors, i still hold out hope (followed by the inevitable and devastating disappointment) that each month one or two random sperm may make the arduous journey. We know there's one or two there, so how is it not possible then??????????????????

[buliej]

Thanks so much everyone.

I did a bit of looking on US websites and gee, it was even more expensive than I anticipated...close to US$30000 (that's with a "guaranty"... if you meet their criteria and aren't pregnant in 4 cycles you get something like 80% back) - there are other slightly less expensive options, but if the cycle doesn't work, you are back to starting over and paying for a full donor cycle. And none of the numbers include the travel etc.

It was a bit strange looking at the US donor sites - they have basic descriptions of the donors as well as - on one site- photos of the donors as children...it actually made me quite sad because I realized that I was looking for ones who looked like me. I have spent an hour searching my family tree in my head for a younger female relative - and have come up with no one - we are a small family - and all of us are "old".

Lieve - your suggestion about talking to someone is a good one - however, at this point in time DH won't even entertain this option - I personally think he is burying his head in the sand, but if we have a few more failed cycles maybe things will change...although I guess I better get a better grasp on how I feel before I start pushing. At least with donor eggs, they are pretty optimistic about success if you are 45 or younger which gives us a bit of time although not much considering how long this process could take.

I did sign up at AED but am still waiting for my account to be activated.

[Clemo]

Hi Girls,

just thought I'd share some new info I came across regarding donor eggs. 'Epigenetics' can come into play where the carrying mother of the child actually has an influence in the genes forming in an embryo. I need to do a lot more research but found this comforting knowing that instead of just carrying the bub it will actually have parts of me. Makes me feel a lot better about the whole biological thing.