I would just like to add to this and say to please refrain from telling someone that "at least they got a healthy/live baby" - it is NOT constructive and in no way does it make the poster feel any better about their situation. NOR should you say that they were setting themselves up for disappointment by using a birth plan or expecting too much from birth - again this is not constructive. It isn't the fault of the birth plan that someone had when they had a traumatic or disappointing birth.
Women who choose to utilise this forum are doing so because they need the space to let it out and it is our job to be there for them to lean on and offer some help while they find their answers. What may not seem like a dissapointing or even traumatic birth for one women, may be for another.
And lastly, the emotional wounds from birth can take far longer to heal than any physical ones, so please be mindful of this when posting in this area.
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