My very traumatic birth story *long*

[becstarr79]

I'm hoping that by telling my story I'll be able to move on and find peace regarding my son?s birth, and that it will instil some confidence about trying for baby number 2.

Just a little bit of background about myself, I suffer from anxiety, I have for most of my life, although after being on medication and seeing a psychologist I have it pretty much under control. As a result of my anxiety though I have developed a phobia of having my blood pressure and heart rate monitored (like someone who has a phobia of needles I guess!), so as you can imagine I was quite nervous about being pregnant and giving birth as I knew I would be monitored.

Anyway my pregnancy was very normal, I planned to go to a birth centre as I wanted as natural birth as possible, and being in 'normal' surroundings with low intervention I felt would put me more at ease. I got to a few days past my due date and there was no sign of bubba, he hadn't engaged or anything so the doctor booked me into the main hospital for an induction if I didn?t go into labour by 40+14.

Well that day rolled on and DH and I excitedly but also reluctantly go to the hospital that evening to be induced. I didn't realise (I don't know what the procedure is with other hospitals), and this is my first issue, but after being looked after by my team of midwives at the birth centre, once you transfer no one from the birth centre transfers with you, so you have to 'start all over again' and for me I found that quite difficult, not knowing any of the midwives, doctors etc that were going to deliver my baby!

Anyway a few hours after arriving at the hospital (Monday evening) I had the balloon inserted which was meant to stay in all night? It didn't, it fell out when I went to the loo so the midwife thought I may be progressing and then broke my waters to get things moving. I was then told to try and sleep (which I didn't). That night I felt left a bit, midwives came in and said they'd be back and never came back and by morning, after not much sleep, and nothing happening and being 15 days over, waters broken, I think they realised things had to get moving so they put me on the drip by about 8am.

I was dreading being put on the drip as I'd heard contractions were so much more painful etc but up until about lunchtime I didn't feel a thing! According to the monitor I was having contractions but had very little pain, the midwives thought I might have been one of the few lucky ones that doesn't experience much pain but as the day progressed they started to get painful. It wasn?t until later in the evening, after being in labour all day that things weren't looking good for a vaginal birth, I wasn't progressing much at all, I was only about 3cm by this stage but I was determined as I did not want a CS so I kept going. It got much more painful and at this stage I asked for gas which I had for a while, and then at about 9pm I was given the choice to either try an epidural (sometimes this can push things along a bit and they use the epi line for the CS anyway) or go straight for a CS. I chose to try the epi first (which was heaven!) but after an hour I had only progressed another 1/2 cm so I had to have a CS. I was so disappointed and scared, a CS had not even entered my mind so I was totally unprepared mentally. This is when everything went down hill dramatically.

They wheeled me into a room where I was prepped, DH was waiting in a waiting room somewhere to go into theatre once I was wheeled in. I had to wait over an hour in that room, because the doctor who was performing the CS was tied up somewhere and my poor DH wasn't told so he had no idea what was going in, he thought something had happened to me. Plus because my waters had been broken so long ago, my tummy looked awful and I was so worried about my baby not being in fluid all that time. I finally got wheeled into theatre and it completely overwhelmed me. After no sleep for 2 nights, hardly anything to eat and drink and things TOTALLY not going to plan, plus the whole anxiety thing I just freaked out, and when they put the heart monitor on me that the whole room could hear my heart rate was 180!!!! Of course the doctors were freaking out, I was trying to explain to them I had an issue, thank god DH was there as my calming post otherwise I don't know what I would have done. They injected some fluids into me and my HR went down a little, so they proceeded with the CS. My beautiful boy was born into a room of chaos and panic, he was wrapped up and given to us for a fleeting moment to say hello before DH took him so I could be stitched up and taken into recovery. In recovery my heart rate was still very high, yet no one did anything to reassure me or calm me, they all stood around telling me things were very wrong etc which made me feel even worse and therefore my heart rate went higher. And the fact that I couldn?t move when all I wanted to do was run away made things so much worse. It was one of the worst moments I?ve experienced at a time when I should have been feeling overwhelming joy which I felt so horribly guilty for. They gave me a ECG to check if there was something wrong with my heart (there wasn?t, I was simply have a bad anxiety attack but apparently they spotted something unusual) and I repeatedly asked for my son and husband to be brought in as I knew this would calm me down but I was flatly refused. They did nothing to make me feel better and gave me nothing to make me feel better. And while this was going on my poor DH was left sitting in a room with our newborn son who was crying and wanted a feed and DH had no idea what had happened to me.

After what felt like hours of being poked and prodded and stared at like a freak I was wheeled up to a special ward. I was then placed on another heart machine and given another ECG which came back totally fine. I was told I had to be monitored all day so of course my heart rate stayed high (and kept beeping every time it went over a certain rate) and I had nurses and doctors continuously asking me what the problem was etc. I can understand that they were just doing their job and it?s not usual for someone to continually have a high heart rate, but what annoys me is they NEVER listened to me, they are medical professionals and should have realised that by asking me questions like that it would only make me feel worse, and if they had read my records from the birth centre they would have known about my problem. So after a day of hell, having a bunch of doctors come in and watch me like I was some kind of zoo animal, the doctor in charge of the ward I was in came to visit me, had a gentle chat and then said to one of the nurses, get this monitor off this girl now! I was so happy, but if it had been done in the first place I could have had the day bonding with my son rather than being watched and poked and prodded all day.

After that experience I realised that I never wanted to go through that again so I am currently seeing a psychologist to get my heart rate phobia sorted and I?m getting there slowly but surely. DH and I are thinking of number 2 which scares me no end but I also feel like experience is on my side, and now I know the process, if I do lots of research I?m sure I can make my next birth a much better experience. I?m hoping to try for a VBAC but understand there is always the possibility of another CS which I?ll be much better prepared for.

Thank you for reading my story.
Bec

[Snacks]

Oh Bec, that's terrible. I'm so sorry that you received such poor care, that you weren't listened to.
I'm sorry that your little boy's birth wasn't what you'd hoped for, and I am glad that you're getting some help to work through your feelings and anxiety surrounding his birth in preparation for your next one.
I am very confident that you will have a wonderful experience this time round - you already sound inspired and empowered, and that's a brilliant start.
Perhaps if you look into hiring a doula? That way you have another person with you who can communicate with the medical staff should that need arise, and help to keep you calm...? Just a thought.
Again, welcome to BB

[skybie]

oh hun, im so so sorry ur birth didnt go at all to plan.
i wish u all the strength and courage to try for another baby. and i hope that little bundle heals all the wounds that have been opened by your experience with your beautiful DS.
Much love
Skye

[Pish]

Wow Bec, that is a lot to go through. I am so sorry your birthing story isn't what you'd hoped.
Just keep in mind when it comes to bubby number 2, having two labour exactly the same almost NEVER happens, also if you have a good talk to the hossy/ Birthing Centre about your experience and what you want to make sure never happens again, they'll make note of it all and prevent it from happening again.
I hope you find your way through soon, I know it takes time, it took a long time for me to get over the birth of DD, but it does happen and you'll be armed with a lot more knowledge and preperation next time, no matter the outcome of the birth.
I wish you all the very best

[sasha]

Bec, you poor thing, it sounds traumatic enough to have to go through, for anyone, all the monitoring and waiting, let alone someone with a phobia about it! You sound like you are really empowered and working through the experience though, and I agree that if you are considering another baby, then a doula might be a good idea... they know the ins and outs of hospitals and are there JUST for you, to ask questions and demand answers, when necessary!

I wonder if you could print a copy of your birth debrief and send it to the hospital, along with a letter which explains exactly how you feel and how anxious you are about having a similar experience, and ask them for some reassurance that it won't happen again. It might be good for the drs and midwives who were on duty to get some feedback - probably they didn't even realise what was going on, and it might help them to rethink how they interact with patients. You never know

[kristi14]

Im sorry you experienced such a traumatic time.

I think sometimes drs get so caught up in their text books, they dont stop to think you are a person and that maybe actually sitting down and talking to you, the missing pieces of the puzzle could then fall into place.

I hope your next birth is a better experience. By the sound of it you are already well on the road to trying to ensure it will be.

[becstarr79]

Arrghh I just typed out a big reply to everyone but there seems to be a problem with the website and I lost it so I think I'll keep it brief!!

Thank you so much girls for your lovely replies and warm thoughts, everyone on BB has been so welcoming and friendly

Sasha and Snacks, that?s a great idea about hiring a doula, I would feel so much more comfortable having and independant person by my side who knows my history and past experience, I?ve posted in the relavant thread regarding Perth doulas so see what comes up.

Sasha and Pish great idea too about informing the hospital about my experience, if by talking with them it helps someone else ?like me? have a better experience (and better treatment) then I?m all for it. I remember the birth centre mentioning that a few months after the birth they post out a letter giving us a chance to rate our experience etc but obviously because I didn?t birth there I didn?t get the form.

Thanks girls!
Bec x

[Julie Doula]

I'm so sorry, Becstarr. Sharing your story is really brave and I hope it has helped in your healing process.

Here is a blog 'Science and Sensibility' that examines research about obstetric practices. It has some interesting comments to make about the malpractice of inducing women, particularly first-timers, and subjecting primips to what will inevitably be failed inductions ending in c/s.

Once our children are born, it seems we have infinite patience for the great diversity and variety of growth and development among them. One gets teeth at this age, another a month later. My first walked at 9 months, my 2nd at a year and so on. We even seem to take it all in stride that one baby weighs in at 6 lbs. 7 ounces while another at 9 lbs. 2 ounces. Why then are we so quick to believe that millions of babies will somehow, magically be ready to be born at precisely the same time in their gestation?

Try though we might, none of us can quite believe that we don’t have a due date. EDD actually stands for estimated date of delivery, not due date. Personally I much prefer EDB (estimated date of birth) and certainly not the original term EDC (estimated date of confinement). No matter what you call that date on the calendar, it is nothing more than a formula derived from statistical averages which says that sometime within a range of 4-5 weeks your baby will probably be be born. Smack dab in the middle of that range is one of days on which the labor may start. Yet when it comes to dates in our life, few take on more significance than this one.

As absurd as this sounds, we live in a culture where giving birth beyond the ‘due date’ has become pathological. Normal physiological gestation in a human is 37 to 42 weeks. The World Health Organization, the American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists, the International Federation of Gynecology & Obstetrics, and the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada all define ‘post term’ pregnancy as continuing beyond 42 weeks. Translated, this means that before 42 weeks is not post term.

I have attended births at which my client was flatly told that inducing a first time (primip) mother does not increase the risk of c/s, and that consenting to induction and epidural was her best chance at avoiding a c/s. It is good to know that this is what obstetricians believe/are telling women. As a result of this information, the women consented to induction and ended up with the c/sections the obstetricians had suggested they could avoid.

It doesn't quite stack up when you read the following:

http://birthlove.cyclzone.com/pages/...ion.html#first

Women having their first babies are twice as likely to get sections when labor is induced

Induction of labor and the relationship to cesarean delivery: A review of 7001 consecutive inductions.
Am J Obstet Gynecol. 1999 Mar;180(3 Pt 1):628-33.
Yeast JD, Jones A, Poskin M Saint Luke's Perinatal Center, Saint Luke's Hospital of Kansas City, Kansas City, Missouri 64111, USA.

OBJECTIVE: The goal of this project was to study the increasing risk of induction of labor in a community hospital and to determine whether it had an adverse effect on the rate of cesarean delivery.

Study Design: From January 1, 1990, through July 31, 1997, 18,055 consecutive singleton pregnancies in women who were candidates for labor were reviewed via a comprehensive perinatal database. The risk of and indication for induction were reviewed. Cesarean delivery rates were calculated for nulliparous and multiparous patients by indication for induction and were compared with rates for patients who had spontaneous labor. Overall trends in cesarean delivery were reviewed for the duration of the study period.

RESULTS: The annual induction rate significantly rose from 32% to 43% at the conclusion of the study period. Labor was induced in nearly 40% of nulliparous patients. Postdate pregnancy was the most common indication for induction, although few patients were at or beyond 42 weeks' gestation. The cesarean delivery rate remained at or below 20% for the years of the study. No increase was noted in spite of the increasing risk of induction. However, for nulliparous patients who had elective induction of labor, the risk of cesarean delivery was twice that of nulliparous patients who had spontaneous labor.

CONCLUSION: The use of induction methods has significantly increased in this community hospital. More than 40% of patients are now candidates for induction. The cesarean delivery rate remains low in this facility in spite of a marked increase in risk of operative delivery for nulliparous patients who undergo induction
Comment in: Am J Obstet Gynecol 1999 Nov;181(5 Pt 1):1273-4
PMID: 10076139, UI: 99176971



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Induction and epidurals lead to c-sections

Risk of cesarean delivery with elective induction of labor at term in nulliparous women.
Obstet Gynecol. 1999 Oct;94(4):600-7.Seyb ST, Berka RJ, Socol ML, Dooley SL
Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Northwestern University Medical School, Northwestern Memorial Hospital, Chicago, Illinois, USA.

OBJECTIVE: To quantify the risk of cesarean delivery associated with elective induction of labor in nulliparous women at term.

METHODS: We performed a cohort study on a major urban obstetric service that serves predominantly private obstetric practices. All term, nulliparous women with vertex, singleton gestations who labored during an 8-month period (n = 1561) were divided into three groups: spontaneous labor, elective induction, and medical induction. The risk of cesarean delivery in the induction groups was determined using stepwise logistic regression to control for potential confounding factors.

RESULTS: Women experiencing spontaneous labor had a 7.8% cesarean delivery rate, whereas women undergoing elective labor induction had a 17.5% cesarean delivery rate (adjusted odds ratio [OR] 1.89; 95% confidence interval [CI] 1.12, 3.18) and women undergoing medically indicated labor induction had a 17.7% cesarean delivery rate (OR 1.69; 95% CI 1.13, 2.54). Other variables that remained significant risk factors for cesarean delivery in the model included: epidural placement at less than 4 cm dilatation (OR 4.66; 95% CI 2.25, 9.66), epidural placement after 4 cm dilatation (OR 2.18; 95% CI 1.06, 4.48), chorioamnionitis (OR 4.61; 95% CI 2.89, 7.35), birth weight greater than 4000 g (OR 2.59; 95% CI 1.69, 3.97), maternal body mass index greater than 26 kg/m2 (OR 2.36; 95% CI 1.61, 3.47), Asian race (OR 2.35; 95% CI 1.04, 5.34), and magnesium sulfate use (OR 2.18; 95% CI 1.04, 4.55).

CONCLUSION: Elective induction of labor is associated with a significantly increased risk of cesarean delivery in nulliparous women. Avoiding labor induction in settings of unproved benefit may aid efforts to reduce the primary cesarean delivery rate.
PMID: 10511367, UI: 99439385

and this more recent research:

http://www.sogc.org/jogc/abstracts/f...stetrics_3.pdf

Does Routine Induction of Labour at 41 Weeks Really Reduce the Rate of Caesarean Section Compared With Expectant Management?
Heidi Pavicic, RN, MN,1 Kathy Hamelin, RN, MN,1 Savas M. Menticoglou, MDCM2

Objective:
It is contended that routine induction of labour at 41 completed weeks of gestation reduces, or at least does not increase, a woman's chance of Caesarean section (CS), compared with expectant management. We wanted to know if this was true in our own hospital.

Methods:
We performed a retrospective review of 1367 nulliparous women who had reached 41+0 weeks undelivered with a live, singleton, fetus with a cephalic presentation. The women comprised two non-randomized contemporaneous cohorts: in one group, expectant management was planned, and in the second
group the intention was to induce labour at 41 weeks. The primary outcome measure was the rate of CS in each group.

Results:
Of 645 women in whom expectant management was planned, 17.7% delivered by CS.

Of 722 women in whom induction of labour was planned, 21.3% delivered by CS (P = 0.09).

Of the total of 907 women in whom expectant management was planned or who laboured spontaneously before planned induction could be carried out, 16.6%delivered by CS.

Of 460 women in whom induction was planned and actually carried out, 25.4% delivered by CS (P = 0.001).

Conclusion:
The contention that routine induction of labour at 41 weeks reduces a woman's chance of delivery by Caesarean section was not supported by the findings of our study. Inducing labour may actually increase the nulliparous woman's risk of delivery by CS.

There may be a case for routine induction of labour at 41+0 weeks if the aim is to eliminate the 1 in 1000 chance of fetal death. The best antenatal fetal monitoring cannot prevent deaths from massive abruption or intrapartum asphyxia.

But almost 1000 inductions of labour at 41+0 weeks will be needed to prevent a single fetal death. Our study suggests that the contention that routine induction of labour at 41+0 weeks reduces a woman’s chance of CS is untrue, and that the opposite may be true: that inducing labour actually may increase the nulliparous woman’s chance of undergoing Caesarean section.

J Obstet Gynaecol Can 2009;31(7):621-626