Upset and Angry

[Townsvillegirl]

Mods - this is not about my birth experience, but my care in the hours following the birth. If there is a more appropriate place for this please move it.

I had a c-section birth of my baby girl (that story is written in the birth stories section). It was quite whirlwind and while I think I was in shock, I was pretty happy with how it all went. It was my care and treatment that I received in the hours following my birth that I am so upset about.

My c-section was completed at 5.40am. I was moved into recovery where I spent 20 mins feeding my baby before she was taken to special care (I was GD and they needed to monitor her BSL). I was fine with this because I understood that this was to happen before I had given birth. At 6am I was moved to the maternity ward and this is where things started to go wrong.

I got down to maternity and I was greeted by a lovely midwife. She came back and regularly checked on me and did all the obs that she was meant to (blood pressure, temp etc). She offered me meds which I declined a couple of times as the spinal block was still working. Just before 7am, I started to feel pain and she gave me some meds.

At 7am, a new midwife started her shift. She told me that she wanted my catheda out by the end of her shift (which was at 2.30pm) and she was going to get me out of bed and in the shower in the next hour.

I started to panick. I was now in immense pain because the spinal block was wearing off. I still didn't have feeling left in my legs. I explained to her that I had only been out of theatre for an hour and a half and that I still did not have full sensation in my legs and did not think they would bear weight. She said she would be back before 11am to get me in the shower.

She came back a couple of times to give me more pain relief in the form of tablets. Nothing was working. At 9.30am she gave me a morphine shot. She did not explain to me that I was going to have morphine, she just did it as she told me what it was. The next 2 hours was the worst 2 hours of my whole life. I was in soooo much pain and I was very dizzy and sick on top of it all.

My baby was bought down to me from special care and the lactation consultant came to help me feed her because I was sooo out of it. After this the midwife put her in bed next to me and said 'now your bonding'. I did not feel like I was bonding. I was in too much pain.

I looked at the bag that was still dripping fluid into my cannulla and realised that they had added syntocin to it because my uterus was not contracting by itself (due to the drugs they gave me prior to my c-section to stop my contractions). I was having intense contractions every 5 to 10 mins and it was causing me so much pain where I had my c-section.

I asked the midwife to stop the drip, which she did, thankfully. Once she had done that, she removed my canulla and she decided it was time for me to get out of bed and have a shower. It was 10.20. My surgery had been completed for 4 and a half hours.

I tried to get up slowly, but was still in so much pain. My uterus was still contracting from the syntocine in my drip and it felt very tender and bruised. I was not getting up fast enough for the midwife and she got my DH to drag me to my feet in one fast move. I screamed in agony. It was so incredibly painful. My scar was burning and felt like it was ripping.

I could not bear weight on my feet and had to be virtually carried to the bathroom by the midwife and DH. The midwife said to me 'If you are good and have a shower, I can give you some lovely anti-inflamatory meds when you get back to bed.' I had just had morphine and my head was not clear. I took that statement to mean that I had to have a shower before she was able to give me anti-inflamatories. If I had been thinking clearly, I would have said something because she was using them as a ransome to get me into the shower.

We got to the shower door and realised the girl I was sharing my room with was already in there. The midwife got me a chair to sit in outside the shower door and wait. I was still dressed in the gown from surgery - not modest at all. At the time I didn't care, I was in so much pain. I felt like I was going to pass out. I sat and cried while I waited for the shower.

I then had to get up out of the chair because the other girl had finished. I screamed as the midwife and DH dragged me to my feet. They took me into the shower and sat me in another chair and the midwife showered me. She scrubbed me and she scrubbed my c-section scar and my very sore still contracting uterus with a wash cloth. Three times I asked her to be more gentle and three times she just continued to scrub.

When she had finished torturing me with the wash cloth, she wanted to wash my hair. I had washed my hair before I left home as I knew I was having a c-section (breech baby) and I had been in surgery. My hair didn't need washing. She decided it was okay if I didn't wash my hair (honestly, I couldn't lift my arms above my head to wash my hair).

Exhausted, in incredible pain and still high on morphine, I was dragged back to bed. I got into bed and laid down feeling like I would never be able to move again. The midwife told me she would be back in a couple of hours to remove my catheda.

I started to stress. I couldn't get out of bed. I didn't know how I was going to get to the toilet. I was relying so much on DH to help me feed my baby and to even sit up and have a drink of water. He had to go home at 8pm that night and if I couldn't get out of bed by myself, how was I going to use the toilet??? I was so scared. I just laid in bed and cried.
The whole thing was made so much worse by the fact that my bed was not electronically operated and I needed someone to come and crank it up to sitting position for me.

If the midwife noticed, she ignored me. She came back in and gave me drugs again a few times.

At lunch time, a meal of solids arrived for me. I was sure I was meant to be on a fluid diet and asked my midwife. She said that she thought it was best I started on solids as soon as possible. I told her that I hadn't passed wind yet and she said that it didn't matter, that was only for people who had bowel surgery. I told her I didn't think I could stomach solid food yet anyway. She said she would get me a sandwhich. It never came. I got no lunch. I had been fasting since the night before and I had my insulin so not eating was making me quite sick and little bit hypo.

Anyway, eventually her shift finished and a new midwife started. She hadn't removed my catheda. I thought it must be protocol to remove catheda's as soon as possible and so I was spending the day trying to get myself out of bed - I couldn't do it and was getting more and more stressed about how I was going to use the toilet especially once DH left.

The new midwife that came on was lovely. She took my obs. I realised when she did this that I had not had my obs taken the whole time that the first midwife was on, nor had she taken a blood sugar reading. I was in the 8 hours post op and had not had obs taken once. The new midwife noticed my cannulla missing and freaked out. She went off to check my doctor's notes. She came back into my room saying that my cannulla and catheda were meant to be in until the next morning. I relaxed a little then except she was a bit freaked out that my fluid levels were too low and I had no cannulla to have IV fluids.

My dinner arrived as a solids meal again and my new midwife freaked out again. She said that I should not be having solids yet and gave my dinner to DH and went and ordered me a fluid meal. She explained that having solids after surgery before passing wind can make me very very sick (so glad I didn't eat lunch) as things hadn't started working properly again yet and they just needed time.

She also said that me getting out of bed that early was a bit of a big ask.

By that evening, my uterus was not as painful as the contractions had stopped except for the ones I had while I was feeding (they were far more bareable than the contractions I was having from the drip and my uterus wasn't aching in between). I was even managing to sit up by myself.

I had a reasonable night and started to feel safe again. The next morning, dangerous midwife was on again. DH was running late as he had wanted to have breakfast with our other 2 children before coming to hospital (he missed them the day before). She came onto shift and immediately wanted my catheda out. I told her I was waiting for DH and we could see then. I needed to get out of bed and walk around on my own. I was so scared because of how much it had hurt the day before.

The midwife then went to the girl next door and told her 'I am bathing your baby today'. She and the girl had an argument about the baby being bathed because she didn't want to bath her baby because she had bathed her the night before and didn't think it was necessary. I realised at this point that the midwife just did her own thing and ran to her own schedule with very little regard for what was actually going on.

DH arrived and I got out of bed and walked around. DH helped me shower and then I told the midwife I was ready for my catheda to be removed. She removed it and didn't come near me for the rest of the day.

I left hospital the next day because DH takes better care of me and DD2 than any of the midwives could and I am feeling pretty good now.

Today, my c-section scar exploded into a bunch of beetroot coloured bruises and I think it is from the trauma of being ripped out of bed when I was in the way that I was. DH wishes that he had known better but he thought that was what was meant to happen and he is struggling with his own feelings of frustration at being used to hurt me in that way.

I am angry and upset because I was vulnerable and in pain. I was relying on her to make the best decisions for me and she didn't. I was too drugged out to stand up for myself.

I don't know what to do with all this now. I just wanted to get it out while I can remember.

This is very long and very detailed but I am considering writing a letter of complaint and wanted to write down everything I can remember now.

I would appreciate any feedback on whether you think this is worth complaining about and whether any of this is 'normal' procedure after a c-section.

Thanks for reading ...

[feeb]

I am so sorry to read you have been through this that is terrible and horrible and you need to write a formal complaint.

Generally post CS they take catheter out and get you up for a shower around 12 hrs post surgery, sometimes a bit later depending on what time you have cs.

You generally shower yourself with mw just outside door in case you need them.

Using pain relief as ransom is not at all ethical.

You are generally only allowed to drink fluids or eat something very light for at least 6 hrs if not a bit longer but does depend on individual patient.

Hope this helps a bit

[bjrose]

I haven't had a c/s myself, so have no idea, but that sounds really harsh. I'm sorry you guys went through that.

[sunflowa_girlie]

Lordy darl - that's shocking!! It's great that you've written it all out, hopefully it gave you a little bit of peace? If you're up to it, I would DEFINITELY be contacting the hospital. While the suggestion may seem callous, it might also be an idea to take photos of the bruises around your scar, as they may be helpful in any investigation.

That midwife sounds like she doesn't know what she's doing - she's already caused enough damage, but it could be so much worse if she's dealing with a first time mum who doesn't know any different, KWIM?

to you darl, you're safe now

[tk1999]

TG, I don't know if it is standard practice but if it is the hospitals need more help than I originally thought!

I would definitely put in a complaint about horrid midwife - that is unacceptable!

hun, you are amazing

[kelebek]

definitely make the complaint.

I had a c/section and I wasn't allowed solids until I had passed wind. I was given pain relief and told that as it is major adominal surgery you are better to take pain medication before the pain kicks in so you can stay ahead of the pain for the first few days.

The catheta was taken out the next day so definitely 10+ hrs post op. I don't know if anyone else noticed but it was a few days before I had a shower although they did have me walking the next day.

I think a formal complaint will be good for you to express what happened but also she is still treating other women like this and she really shouldn't be.

[Glamourcide]

I was lucky enough to have not needed c-secs with my babies but I definitely think you should lodge a complaint against that midwife. I'm in tears reading about the awful way in which you were treated, and I am so, so sorry that the post-birth period was so awful for you - and yes, definitely traumatic. FWIW I had a catheter inserted after having DD1 - I had a massive PPH and was bedridden for at least 24 hours, and had the canula with fluid IV and catheter left in for well over 24 hours to ensure that everything was okay. I assume that a c-sec, being major surgery, is just as traumatic on a person's body as a big blood loss and so I would imagine 'standard' procedure would be that the catheter and canulas are left in for at least 24 hours just in case, kwim? To be forced out of bed and made to shower so soon also sounds really wrong to me - again, I was bedridden (given a sponge down after the birth), and had to beg the midwives to take out my IV and catheter the next day to allow me to get up and shower - and I didn't have a huge wound in my belly.
Just wanted to offer you my sympathy and some big hugs - and you may find that part of your healing process involves putting in a complaint so that the midwife in question is taken to account for her actions. I'm so sorry for what happened to you, I hope you make a speedy recovery and can enjoy the rest of your babymoon.

[Rouge]

I am crying for you. As I know how that disempowerment feels.

I am so angry for you that you were treated this way. I would say this is up there with medical negligence. I was told NOT to move for 12 hours! Please promise me you will follow through with this, her behaviour is absolutely disgusting. I feel sick thinking if she thinks this is ok what she has done to others

I am so sorry you've been through this, but I am so glad that you are getting it out and working through it.

[kristi14]

You went through so much. Im sorry you were treated this way, its not right at all.

Ive never had a cs but with all my babies, my canula has always stayed in for at least 24 hrs, between 24 to 48 hrs. They have to leave them in, just in case something happens and they need fast access.

Ive also experienced a PPH with one of mine and had a catheter and that was left in for well over 24 hrs too, probably more 36hrs.

And as far as showering goes, thats been up to me when i get up and have one. Ive always wanted one straight away, but its not been pushed on me to get up and have one. Let alone after major surgery.

Some mw are a bit pushy though, that i have experienced and when your emotionally fragile like you are after giving birth, they really can traumatise you.

Definately put in a complaint. Did you happen to get this particular mw name at all?

Thinking of you

[Hollo]

that is really crappy! not sure how long ago this all happened, but if you still can you should take some photos of the bruised area to have as evidence if needed. thats disgusting that you know more about what should and shouldnt have happened post-op than a trained 'professional'. she shouldnt be working!

[~Sam~]

i'm horrified that you were treated so badly by that midwife, i would definitely urge you to make a formal complaint against her! No one should ever be treated like that! it is most definitely NOT "normal" procedure, her behaviour was unprofessional, unethical and very cruel!

[Me+him+bub]

I AM DISGUSTED YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO GET UP FOR 24 HOURS!!!!! thats the point of the catheter!!!! i was ordered to stay in bed until the 24 hours was up and IF i wanted a shower i could! I had the catheter out the next day and I would buzz the nurses to pass me my son when i needed to feed during the night while DF was at home. I would def make a complaint! i did one of my RN placements in maternity and this is protocol.

[chepie]

Oh sweetie xxxx I am so sorry you were treated so terribly, I too was in tears reading what you went through- you had have a very fast and I would say a little scary labour and to be treated so disgustingly (spl) by that MW... Please please follow through with a complaint - She had NO RIGHT to treat you that way... I am so sorry xx

[BabyQ]

Originally Posted by Rouge

I am so angry for you that you were treated this way. I would say this is up there with medical negligence. Please promise me you will follow through with this, her behaviour is absolutely disgusting. I feel sick thinking if she thinks this is ok what she has done to others

I am so sorry you've been through this, but I am so glad that you are getting it out and working through it.

I'm soooo angry for you!!! I truly hope she is made to personally apologise for her actions.

[Lady-bug]

I'm really sorry you were treated this way. That procedure doesn't sound right to me. I didn't get out of bed until late the next day and the M/W weren't pushing me to. I would definitely be making a complaint. I hope your recovery is quick.

[Inanna]

Sweetheart I am so sorry that you have been treated in this way by a so called professional.

It is policy now to get women up and moving as soon as is comfortable after c/section. This results in better outcomes. However 4.5hours post op is just ridiculous! The spinal block needs to have worn off and rest is the most important thing post op. You needed to sleep and rest & be with your baby, and have a go at getting up to the shower after dinner that night at the earliest.

I wouldn't have given you a full meal until night time either - the affects of narcotics and surgery are different for each individual. I have a g/friend who is up and showered 4 hours post op with her PCA out. She is an absolute exception trust me. AND she has to fight with the m/wives to allow her to get up so soon!!!

If these time frames are accurate this is just completely unacceptable behaviour by your care provider and I really hope that you can find it in yourself to complain.

It would all be fair and reasonable for you to stay in bed until the next morning. Your body has had major surgery and you have birthed a baby. Some women just can't face getting out within 12 hours and others can. Certainly though by 24 hours post op better outcomes for Mama are acheived with getting up. Did they check you had voided after you had the catheter out?

As for washing you in that way... You would have had a dressing. Are you saying she was scrubbing over the top of the dressing? Did she ask your permission to wash you? She must. All care providers must ask permission to touch you in such a way.

Again, I am feeling so upset for you. You were not treated with the respect you deserve and the way she behaved in the shower to me was violating.

Big big cuddles my love... :hug;

[feeb]

Originally Posted by Me+him+bub

I AM DISGUSTED YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO GET UP FOR 24 HOURS!!!!! thats the point of the catheter!!!! i was ordered to stay in bed until the 24 hours was up and IF i wanted a shower i could! I had the catheter out the next day and I would buzz the nurses to pass me my son when i needed to feed during the night while DF was at home. I would def make a complaint! i did one of my RN placements in maternity and this is protocol.

Actually no people do not stay in bed for 24 hrs unless complications, the sooner people are up and moving the better but not 4 hrs thats rediculous, generally 12 hrs is the norm.

[Townsvillegirl]

Wow everyone. I am so overwhelmed by your support and so grateful. It was very therapeutic for me to write all that down and get it out. I am not up to writing a complaint just yet, but wanted to write it all down so that in the next few weeks when I am able to, I have it all there.

I have thought about taking photos of the bruising. I am going to get it checked by my GP in the next couple of days and see what she has to say.

I had a dressing over my scar - it was a clear rubbery kind of one. The midwife was scrubbing my stomach because there was still betadine (I assume that's what they wipe you down with before surgery) all over my tummy and she wanted to get it off. No, she did not ask my permission, she just assumed and did it. She stopped DH from doing it so that she could.

I am fairly certain on the time frames too. I had a clock in front of my bed the whole day and pretty much spent the day watching the clock (I spent most of the day sleeping on and off for 10 to 15 mins at a time so it was the only way that I was keeping track of anything).

Getting up after 12 hours wouldn't have bothered me. I just needed to do things in my own time and not to someone else's regimented schedule. I felt very pressured to be doing things I wasn't ready to do and was very scared that I would not be able to look after myself properly once DH went home. It really didn't help that I was in a bed that was not remote controlled because I couldn't even sit up by myself - I had to have someone there to crank up the bed and crank it back down a couple of minutes later when I was tired. DH did this for me through the day so that I could practice sitting up and eventually got to the edge of the bed. The fear of the pain I experienced when I first got up 4 hours post op really made it difficult for me to get out of bed.

Thank-you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read this and comment. It is very long and I appreciate your support and understanding. I think I spent the first couple of days after coming out of hospital in shock that someone would do the things that she did as the realisations of what she did began to sink in.

Thankfully, it doesn't seem to have affected the way that I feel about my baby or the way that I have bonded with her. I am loving her so much and enjoying her first week immensly. She is just lovely and I am so thankful for her.