Upset and Angry

[Inanna]

Big hugs again...

I am a nurse TG and I feel distressed when I hear of people being treated unfairly in hospital. We are not all like the woman who cared for you...

I too had some very bad experiences during my 6 week stay in hospital. Most of my experiences were lovely but the few awful ones stick in my mind.

I had no family close by as we are in the country & I was in a tertiary hospital in the city. I had to have TEDS on and 3 days post op just out of ICU I was asked why I didn't have them on... Because noone has put them on... Well why didn't your husband do it??? (he was an hour and a half away!)

(I had lots of complications & bleeding liver so I wasn't to move much - it was incredibly disempowering by the 2 nurses (only 2 in my whole experience) that were unspeakably disrespectful...

You are right to enjoy this time with your new baby - write all this down it's cathartic and get back to making a complaint in time.

hugs again...

[Sarah_H]

Oh hun, I am so so sorry that this has happened to you too It just makes me feel like crying that there are nurses out there that do this to us. I had a similar sort of experience with a nasty nasty midwife and this just gives me flashbacks to what happened with me. I'm not sue if you want to read about what happened with me, but it might help you gain the courage to speak out & put in your complaint letter.

My experience wasn't quite the same... I was given a sponge bath a few hours after the birth (was at 1.27am) so that was ok from that point of view. At not long after midnight I was woken & forced out of bed to have a shower & was told off for not having done it earlier. I had been in labour for 36 hours & really needed my sleep at that point but showered nonetheless. A few hours later I need to feed him & the same midwife picked him up very roughly & told me I should be doing it myself & this was after all other midwives had told me not to try & pick him up on my own. The next night again she was very rough & unhelpful.

The third night was absolutely dreadful. Z had had a bad day & his daddy finlly got him settled but it was almost the end of visiting hours. He went out & asked if he could stay a bit longer to settle me down (baby blues day!) and was told not to worry that's what they were there for & they'd watch him so I could get some sleep if needs be.... About 1/2 an hour later Z started crying & I just couldn't cope, I'd had little sleep so I asked a midwife if she could take him for a little while. About 15 minutes later nasty midwife came in & said "well I managed to get him to sleep". He was brought back 1/2 an hour later to be fed with the rant "his lips are peeling, he's dehydrated, you aren't feeding him enough" and she left without helping. I put him back in his cot then later asked for help to get him out. She grabbed him roughly, dumped him right where my scar was and hissed "you need to learnt o look after your own baby." After than I just sat crying & waiting til morning, I just couldn't face her again.

Fast forward three years to when I had Juliette... The first night was great, but the second night I froze when I heard that familiar voice outside my door. She was there again. She told me I should be doing things for myself, this was my second baby. She also told me I was to use the crank at the end of the bed to move it to where I needed it to be. I ended up moving it to a spot where I could comfortably BF & also sleep then refused to buzz again. About 4am J was coughing & choking and I couldn't get to her properly so I buzzed. I told her & she went off at me "how am I supposed to help him if you have no lights on, I can't see in the dark". Yeah because the first thing on my mind when my baby is choking are the lights So she took HER into the bathroom & said oh it's just mucus, put her back in the cot and left.

I'm eternally grateful to Rouge (J's godmother) for talking to the midwives the next day. She helped me organise so that the horrible one was not allowed in my room. Even if I had to wait 1/2 an hour for someone at least I didn't have to see her again I found out from the hea midwife that this particular one had lots of complaints against her, so it wasn't just me that she was nasty to.

[Townsvillegirl]

Sarah - Your story is so awful! I wonder how they keep getting away with it. It really does mess with your sense of safety and security at a time when you are so vulnerable.
I understand that they have visiting hours for the privacy and rest of other people in the maternity ward, but the midwives are often so run off their feet it does take them a long time to come and help so I don't understand why support people have to leave if they are being of some use and not disrupting other people. DH made the point that we are allowed support people for labour but as soon as it is over, we have to manage without them and it seems a bit strange.

I'm glad that your second experience was resolved. I don't understand how that midwife is still practicing if there are so many complaints against her. Imagine if she was going to help deliver your baby. It's awful. You just inspired me to make sure that I formally complain about my experience because obviously they can go on practising for years if people don't take action.

Thanks for sharing your story. I cannot believe how much this kind of thing happens.

[Jennifer13]

That's a shocking thing to have gone through, Townsvillegirl. There is no excuse for someone treating you with such a lack of compassion. While I didn't share that kind of treatment, it makes me very angry that you had to go through that. If you feel up to it, once you recover, write a letter of complaint to the hospital. If it was a public hospital, send a copy to the health department and the health minister.

I am angry that all of you who have similar stories had to experience this kind of treatment as well.

[skeetaboat]

I would definitely make a complaint. She treated you terribly. All medical interventions should be given only after you have given your informed consent - she didn't get your consent, let alone your informed consent re: administering morphine. As for hauling you out of bed after 4 hours, that's just cruel. I've had 2 c-sections and have never been showered by a nurse. For the first I got out of bed after about 18 hours and with the second it was about 22 hours. I didn't have my first shower for 24 hours after my most recent c-section, and I didn't have one until I got home with my first c-section (gross, I know.. but I was just in too much pain.. might have been because panandol was the only pain relief offered after the first 12 hours).

[entreat]

I also vote for a formal written complaint with photos! I actually feel sick after reading those accounts!

That was way worse than me having to change my mother's bed pan after her broken leg was operated on (4hours after the nurse was asked to do it - the first time, and then next 4 times she was asked...).