I am so ANGRY.....Like turning into the HULK angry!!!!!

[Rouge]

I don't think you are being melodramatic. Not at all. You had a whole heap of crap that wasn't on your side. Posterior baby (that no one knew about), everyone freaking out about the fires and probably not paying as much attention to you (or supporting you) as much as they would have on any other day, faulty equipment etc. But y'know sometimes birth is russian roulette unfortunately (and this is not to take away from your pain at all - because I get that you get it now... and when that hits it hits hard! And its usually around the 6-12 month mark ) and you got some crap thrown your way but its great that you don't blame yourself or your body. I've been where you are and it sucks, and I was angry too and that does pass eventually just keep talking and keep expressing your honest feelings.

[fionas]

No, I don't think you are being melodramatic Dee - particularly as this was a birth centre who are meant to be gods when it comes to being supportive in labour. I think the main way they let you down is that you and DH felt alone and besides the actual mechanics/logistics/policies surrounding birth, that is a pretty big failing.

[Lulu]

Do you think you would be up to writing a letter to the BC? Could you still debrief with them face to face?

I do think it's important that you are able to express this directly to them if you are able xoxoxoxo

[LaDeeDa]

I'm going to Lu - I had a debrief with them over the phone when DS was about a month old - but it was all about them making excuses for behaviour and telling me that they acted that way because they believed I should have been labouring at home.
I'll write a letter and explain my feelings and disappointments but I don't expect much back IYKWIM.

[Lulu]

ummm, not sure what to say about that, I'm a bit speechless.
Did they need the fricken bed for someone else? If not, you were there - under their care, therefore some CARE would have been warranted.
Doula for next time chick - I have the number of a brilliant one.

[julie_ann_jules]

oh hun
if they did their job u wouldnt be feeling the way u are. The midwife's job is to support u and ensure that u are informed and in control of your labor and birth. Sounds like that didn't happen
Its good that u are talking about it and recognising just how much it has upset you! Have u thaught about getting a copy of your birth notes from the hospital? An Independant Midwife would be great to meet with and they could go over your notes with you and explain what happened. (Thats what I did with my first two births..... I also felt very un supported and like I wasn't even a person... I was just an inconvienience and they had a healthy baby and that is all that is important.... right??? WRONG!!!! Its so much more.) Anyway big
jules

[Lady Zaidie]

Oh sweetie, I've only just returned home and seen your post. You're not melodramatic and you were treated dreadfully.

All of my feelings about Liebling and the hospital were glossed over at the time. The HV didn't seem that bothered and the midwives were awful. BUT when I said I wanted a face-to-face meeting before I put in a written complaint, I was heard.

(Incidentally, since that meeting with the midwife and me telling DH what happened, he is now livid how the hospital tret me and is furious they forced drugs on me that killed Liebling... sometimes having someone else back you up is worthwhile! He has been discussing this with anasthaesiologist people now because it's his genetic problem that led to this. So that's another problem solved for me should we ever have another. Prior to this he was a big part of the problem, telling me that I did have a problem birthing and the hospital only wanted to help.)

I'm having another meeting on Monday to ensure that I don't need further counselling to sort this out. It's the very least that should be offered, IMO.

A written complaint should ALWAYS be copied to your MP and the Dept. of Health if you've had a bad telephone experience. And feel free to PM me with it as I used to work in a hospital so know vaguely how these complaints should go. Always remember to put names in as well as times if you can. I'm so pleased I posted everything down to the last minute on BB so I could use that, but if you're not quite so obsessive as I am then talk to your OH and get some rough times and actions together first.

Hugs to you.

eta - they do turn posterior babies in labour: by shoving a hand up and twisting, then complaining that you're tensing too much from the pain, even with the epidural. I remember that. My legs are going to be crossed for another few weeks now... posterior labour was NOTHING to that horrid man and his maheusive hand.

[kristi14]

Im sorry that you had such a bad experience.

I hope things go better next time