Devil OB...

[Daytona's Mummy]

Hi, I'm not sure if my story is traumatic enough to warrent this post especially since it's been 13 1/2 years since it happened, but ever since I found out recently, that i'm preg again, the memories have come flooding back and to be quite honest... I'm terrified!
Basically, 3am my waters broke.. excited as expected, We made our way to the hospital. They told me they would wait for 24 hours before inducing me to give me the chance to go in to labour on my own. They said any longer than that would be dangerous. So I was ok with that... 34 hours later, they induced me.
During the whole labour (luckily only 4.5 hrs), I was not alloud off the bed which dissapointed me but I delt with it (i so wanted a shower) Then this horrible old OB came in, stuck his WHOLE hand inside me and insisted I needed to have an eppi for the pain, I told him I really didn't need it and that I was coping quite well with the pain without it. he walked out of the room calling me a "fool!!" pretty soon after, I got this over wealming feeling like my body just took over and started pushing on it's own and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The OB came back in and this time told me or should I say demanded yelling at me, I had to have an eppi for the safety of my baby because he had to do an emergency cs. My mum Stepped in and said "no, the baby is comming now" he snapped back saying that was rubbish, it wouldn't be born till after 9pm that night (it was just after 4 in the arvo) and that my mother should just shut her mouth and allow the professionals to do their job! I could feel my vag sting so I put my hand down there and was sure I could feel the top of my sons head crowned. I remember asking him if he had it here and he said no, he'll go organise it, (thank god!!!) I said fine, you go do that! he walked out the room and i told mum the head is comming out. Mum delivered my son's head and checked the cord wasn't around his neck just as the mid wife came in and took over. You see, mum was a nurse for many years both in and out of the airforce and herself delivered more babies than she can count so to me she is enough of a professional to ease MY mind. You can imagin how P***ed off the OB looked when he came back in and my son was out! Mum noticed DS was tounge tied but the ob just ignored her. Once I got home 4 days later and went to my gp, she agreed and sent him to a surgen to get it fixt.. no biggy but still !
Anyway, I know that was a long time ago and there is no way this OB would still be around but it's still just enuff to bring the fear back up.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, I really thought I was over it but it must have just been bottled up??

[Inertia]

Firstly - if anyone thinks that the way that man assaulted you isnt traumatic, they need their heads read! That is without doubt one of the most horrific experiences ever - especially without warning. I know that in my case the attending doctor and midwives had good cause, but it simply did not lessen the impact of how horrifically violated I was left feeling.

Secondly - 13 years is nothing. People can be left traumatised by events for their entire lives. Don't think its less of a deal because it only came up now. Of course it would! Its like scent memories. The smell of a cooking lamb roast reminds me of the fun dinners at the table with my family. The mention of a vaginal exam in a hospital has me wanting to hide in a corner and cry. You can imagine what I put my poor doctor through come pap smear time!

If I were in your situation right now, I would save up every cent I had left for a homebirth midwife. You still have the time. With the blessing of a low risk second pregnancy, its my biggest suggestion! If not, try and find a hospital with a birthing centre, not a delivery suite. Either way, you will be tended to by hands off midwives, rather than fear of running into another hostile member of the obstetrics model of care. I wish you the best of luck and congratulations on your pending baby bundle.

[bjrose]

Huge
I definetely understand why you are traumatised & I don't blame you! I'm so sorry you went through that!
I agree with Inertia, I think you should consider a home birth with a MW & your mum there. Birthcentres are a great idea too! I've always dreamed of a birthcentre birth, but there are none around me
MW are great. I had all my children publicly & MW were the ones that did all the work. I only saw an ob in labour with DD1 as she took a while. DS was distressed & I had a trainee ob walk in, look at the colour of my waters (brown), agree with what the MW was doing & walk out again.
Ob's are not needed in a low risk pg.
I wish you all the luck you need for a happy, empowering birth the way you want it!

[Lady Zaidie]

That sounds awful! And just because it was a certain length of time ago, be it 13 months or 13 years, doesn't make it more or less valid.

All I will say is damn straight you need an epidural for the hand. That's monsterous.

I'd agree with the idea of looking into a homebirth/birth centre, somewhere less medicinalised.

[ControlFreak]

Sounds like you have every right to be PO'd with that obs and feeling the trauma of that experience! on standing up for yourself tho!!! And also to your mum who obviously knew what was actually going on! I hope your next experience is a better one!

[Tobily]

Oh my gosh. What a monster.

I'm so sorry you had to experience that.

And OB's wonder why they're getting such a bad rep. Why indeed.

[Daytona's Mummy]

Thanks for all your lovely replies guys, It's really helped me.
As much as I'd love to have a home birth, In the past few years, I have gotten a prob with my heart so am too scared to not be at a hospital for the birth.... BUT... We were just saving up for IVF and waiting for our 1 yr medibank private waiting period to be up (is now up) When I fell preg naturally. So atleast we have been able to go private and choose my OB this time. I feel alot better about this ob but then again, I havn't seen him in action either. I've googled his name and havn't found anything bad about him, I just hope It's not 1 of those situations where people have been bullied into removing bad comments about him... but I don't think so, I get a good vibe about him even though I'm yet to meet him.

[dust]

congrats on your pregnancy!!
What a awful experience, but WOW! Way to go on showing that OB that he just was not needed!!
I hear you on the tongue tie bit. I noticed my DD2 had tongue tie, i pointed it out to all the middies, nurses and even the doctor who discharged us.. Yet NO ONE would agree with me (DH was born tongue tied), suggest anyone to see about it... it wasn't till i got a home visit from a lactation consultant that she had a severe tongue tie and it would assist in Bfing if she was snipped. The dr we saw to get it snipped couldnt believe that no one had bothered to check (other than lactation consultant) or agree that she was tongue tied as she was so severly tongue tied!