Another non sleeping 5month old

[luey]

My DS is totally feral at the moment. I am really at the end of my tether. I am so tired and emotional. On a good night he will wake 3hourly for feeds, on a bad it is hourly waking. Normally it isn't a problem he would settle quickly but he has started squealing and being very distressed when you put him down or look like you will. LAst night he woke my DH twice - no mean feat, he could sleep through a bomb. At 1ish we topped him up with a bottle of formula and went to sleep. At 5ish (woke around 430) it was in the pram for half an hour when he woke had a booby top up and panadol. He is quite snuffly and coughing occassionally too. HE has two teeth and I am sure there are others on their way. He got his first tooth at 4months. He also woke at 230 and ?330, but resettled reasonably quickly with a dummy. HE will wake and need the dummy put back in, I am tempted to get rid of it but not sure how to do it gently and it may make things worse. He does not really respond to patting/singing etc. WE do try to have a reasonable bedtime routine. He often goes to bed around 6pm but I cannot stretch him any longer.

My concerns are he is not getting the sleep he needs. He is a catnapper during the day though he will sometimes sleep for an hour and a half. This morning he woke at 740, tried to settle from about 915, asleep finally at 10 only because I was crying and that made him stop. He slept for about 10mins then awake till 1045ish then slept until 1215. He is tired again now but just won't settle. I watch his tired signs but he won't give in. For my own health I need him to sleep better. I cannot go on how I am now.

We were away last week and it is probably readjustment to being at home. He is also not content unless he gets lots of attention. It is most likely because his grandparents showered him with attention and every time he made a noise was picked up and played with. It is hard as we don't see them often but next time I will be more strict about his floor time. Plus he was also dragged about town as we did jobs and saw friends. LAst time we came home he ended up in a similiar way and we ended up rocking him to sleep which I finally 'fixed' at 17weeks. This took so much effort I don't want to go back to old habits. He had been going to sleep easily 80% of the time too, minimal crying as I rarely leave him to cry. Only when I really need a break - have done it twice and never for very long.

I realise the night feeds are becuase he is quite distracted during the day and does not feed as well as he needs to. I am just not sure why he suddenly dislikes his cot, is very very whingy (unless you ar egiving him attention) and has started squealing. I am breastfeeding him with topups as required. I am going to cut choclate out again and the other foods that upset him in the first 3months. I so missed chocolate.

WE don't have any family support near us and my DH works long unpredictable hours. He gave me a break yesterday afternoon which was lovely, but now I feel worse than I did before. I did try to sleep when DS was sleeping earlier but couldn't get to sleep, am too overtired.

Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

[Lady Zaidie]

Ooooh, I hear you! DS was hourly feeding at that age and I just didn't have enough milk to give him - seriously, I'd be eating all night AND all day just to keep up. My mother wouldn't let him down either and that really set him up for bad habits when she had gone, grandparents who won't listen to a mother shouldn't be allowed access to the child IMO - DS had day sleeps in his bouncer chair because in his cot he was up all night. That was "wrong" so my mother put him in his cot and wondered why I was so grouchy next day. Not for long she didn't, I told her and then she was in a mood too.

Vent over!

What helped (and still helps) us now is co-sleeping: DS will sleep better, longer (from when we are in bed together until the morning) and even lie-in until 8-9am some mornings. I love that! We don't co-sleep all the time, just when he needs to because he's not sleeping at all. Going slowly helps too. We have a long bedtime routine (dinner, Night Garden, bath, pyjamas, book, bed) and we now pat DS to sleep - when he wakes up he has a 5-10 min pat and is out again. This started when he stopped feeding to sleep at 9-10m old.

Practical advice for now... co-sleeping, you're almost ready to start solids and SOMETIMES that helps (give him his dinner before bedtime to fill the tum!), tbh formula made DS sleep worse, we did day sleeps mostly in the pram because that settled DS really well and the fresh air was good for both of us, I know he went to sleep in my arms before I put him in bed at that age (we got really strict about being in bed when he stopped feeding to sleep, but he was heavier then), just knowing you're not alone helps because that's the most stressful thing, you think everyone else is sleeping and we're not. Honestly!

DS doesn't give in to sleep either. He's a child genius, his brain never stops. It's the price we mothers have to pay for perfection. (Damn it all, give me a thick baby next time! I need my 7-7 sleep! LOL.)

[Kitty33]

HI luey.... Oh i hear ya!! Except mine is 7 months old now and still doing the same thing! She isnt breastfed anymore and eats like a little garbage truck! lol.... But i was always NO i am never going to Co-sleep and I didnt with my first but with 2 under 2 now it has just saved my sanity ten fold bringing Ella into bed with me when she wakes up in the early hours of the morning for a bottle

And that is what its about at this stage is self preservation.. if you really dont want to co sleep in your bed have a camp out on the couch (thats what i did with my 1st) But at the same time to much of it can open the can of worms where they wake up just to get into bed with you..... thats a balanceing act that no one can really master I guess... but as i said above... Self preservation is the main objective in these time
Good luck
xo