Need help with sleep and night feeds! - Pregnancy, Birth & Baby Forums ~ BellyBelly

Twin Sister · #1 (**permalink**) August 22nd, 2008, 12:32 AM

I'm hoping you guys have some suggestions as I am currently exhausted.

DS started sleeping with us at 5 months (the reasons were too many to list) and now that he is 9 months he is still sleeping with us. My husband and I are both very tall and our double bed was small for us to begin with, but with a baby between us it is even smaller and a good nights sleep is impossible. Plus we miss snuggling with each other now (DS sleeps in the middle so he won't fall out). We seriously need some sleep!

Anyhow we really need him back in his own room. He's kind of been back and forth between his room and ours, but he ends up in ours more often as I fall asleep Breast feeding him and then I'm too tired to take him back to his room.

He was sleeping 8 hours a night for awhile in his room (when we actually managed to put him there) but now he will only sleep there during his day naps, and from bedtime until about 2:30am, but then he will NOT sleep alone after 2:30am

He dropped his 2:30 am feed months ago but within the last 2 weeks he has picked it up again. The last three nights I put him to sleep in his room at bedtime (his bedtime is anywhere from 8pm-10pm depending on when I can get him down) and when he awoke at 2:30 I rocked him I tried NOT feeding him and instead gave him a soother and cuddled him back to sleep, but he of course would wake up as soon as I put him back in his crib and just howl until I picked him up again. He would only stay asleep in our room.

If I feed him back to sleep he will SOMETIMES sleep in his crib for a bit longer but usually he he will still wake up crying as soon as I put him in his crib. If he does manage to sleep he will only last an hour before waking up.

He does not have a comfort item. He does have this crochet monkey that he seems to like and I put it in his crib with him in hopes it can become a comfort item, but right now it does not help.

Any suggestions on getting him back in his room all night would be greatly appreciated. My husband is inclined to let him cry it out but I am not.

AmandaJ · #2 (**permalink**) August 22nd, 2008, 07:43 AM

Can you fit the crib in your room near your bed then he still has his bed but you and your DH can have some space back for a snuggle as well. He may feel more comfort still been in the same room as you.

hugs xoxo

Twin Sister · #3 (**permalink**) August 22nd, 2008, 09:59 AM

We have a portable playpen that just squeezes in. We will try that tonight and see how it goes.

Marydean · #4 (**permalink**) August 22nd, 2008, 12:52 PM

Hey Twin Sis - sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with the sleeping stuff. Can you get your hands on the No Crying Comforted Sleep Solution book? She has a program designed towards very gradually weaning your baby into sleeping on their own, which might be worth a try.

We reached desperation point some months ago and in the end *nothing* was working and we ended up in a residential mothercraft clinic to get it sorted. Which worked a treat but isn't for everyone...just wanted to mention it as you might like to consider it if all else fails!

marcellus · #5 (**permalink**) August 22nd, 2008, 01:01 PM

I second the recommendation for No cry sleep solution - it's been very helpful for us.

Twin Sister · #6 (**permalink**) August 23rd, 2008, 10:11 AM

Thanks so much for your suggestions.

The playpen beside the bed helped last night. When he woke up I was able to lie him back down and rub his back until he fell asleep again. He woke up a LOT but it only took a few minutes each time to put him back to sleep. I'm exhausted today but at least the crick in my neck form trying to sleep around him is gone.

I live in a very small town so I don't think they have sleep clinics here but i will check and see if our bookstore has or can order that book for me (or if not I'll order online)

Marydean · #7 (**permalink**) August 24th, 2008, 09:27 PM

Good luck, i hope this is a sign of progress!

AmandaJ · #8 (**permalink**) August 25th, 2008, 07:14 AM

I'm glad it worked, how is it going now? Hopefully it'll just keep getting better.

hugs xoxo

Twin Sister · #9 (**permalink**) August 26th, 2008, 04:24 AM

Haven't had a chance to look for that book yet but things are getting better. DS is only waking up a few times in the night now and I can get him back to sleep pretty quickly without feeding. I feed him at 10pm, then feed him again at 5:30am. When he wakes up in between those feeds I lie him back down and rub his back and he falls back asleep. I'm hoping it won't take long for him to stop waking up in between and then we can move him to his room (the playpen takes up the whole space between the bed and the wall so climbing in and out of bed is difficult, so even though I like having him close, his own room is still a desirable goal).

Twin Sister · #10 (**permalink**) September 20th, 2008, 03:03 AM

Things are getting worse!

The last 3 nights in a row, DS has woke at 2:30 and I can't get him back to sleep until 4:00! He's still in the playpen next to our bed and 2:30 sharp he stands up in the playpen and starts patting me on the leg while crying/fussing. I lay him back down and rub his back and he quiets and looks like he's sleeping so i try to go back to sleep, but 5 minutes later he's standing again and crying.

Last night I was sooooo tired and frustrated I was almost crying myself. I got upset and put him in his crib in his room and shut the door. He started howling. I don't believe in letting them cry it out but I was so tired I left him to cry for a few minutes to see if he would quiet down. He didn't he just got hysterical and I felt terrible. I finally had to put him in the bed with us and feed him (I purposely haven't BF him in the night for the last several weeks) and even then he still wouldn't settle. He did stop crying but he was tossing and turning and smacking me. It took another half an hour for him to fall asleep.

I don't know what to do. I'm sooo tired.

bubNo.2 · #11 (**permalink**) September 20th, 2008, 03:17 AM

Morning,
You poor love.... i hear you and feel your need for sleep !!!
Do you and -your husband tag team in trying to comfort your son back to sleep overnight?
I do not believe in co sleeping as i believe it develops a bad habbit for the babies (as in they wont sleep alone only with mum and dad everynight) Im not saying i have never had my children in bed with me overnight but i cant stand the wiggles and snuffling and snorting not mention the lack of sleep we get lol
Just tonight however hense why im up at 4 10 am is that my little 12 weeker did not want to sleep alone in his cot that he usually loves.... He woke for a feed (bottle) at 1 30am and DF did that one but after that Alli just wouldnt settle so after nearly 2 hours i decided ok if i as mum cant win ill just join you mate .. so i got up put the kettle on .. out Alli in his bouncer chair and bingo after 20 mins he is asleep! But if i dare move him and put him back in is cot he will just wake so im camping with him out here for the rest of time!
I do feel for your frustation xx

thepixie · #12 (**permalink**) September 20th, 2008, 04:58 AM

bub no. 2 can't you just put the bouncer chair in the nursery (with bub in it, of course) and then go back to bed yourself? I did this when DD had a cold and needed to sleep more upright than she could in her cot.
twin sister don't know what to suggest but

maybe if you can just get someone to mind him for a few hours even in the daytime you can get a bit of sleep and feel better.... then at least you'll have a clearer head to approach the issue. hope it resolves for you.

bubNo.2 · #13 (**permalink**) September 20th, 2008, 09:27 AM

hi

Thepixie: Thats a great idea however we dont have a nurserie as such lol poor Alistair has a cot and a basinetter pram and the bouncer and his play mat which is all portable (except the cot). When we moved into this rental property i didnt know i was pregnant so and all other rooms were taken by other kids... we were going to move the cot into Toms (8 yr old) room but we havent and so far its cool.... You know i used to cringe at older mums doing what im doing putting the cot anywhere and just get on with living and having the baby live with us not living for the bub.... or we would have moved again just because we were pregnant and we needed amother room as a babys room nah we will all just have to share. Kids wont like it but TUFF! MY proiorities have changed and for the better i would say....
Alistair did fall asleep and i did put him in his cot at 5am just for him to wake again this time SCott got up and changes and re dressed him and bingo he fell asleep tim now 10am!
Ainsley xx

Twin Sister · #14 (**permalink**) September 20th, 2008, 09:53 PM

Thanks so much for the sympathy. At least I know there are others who understand and who are also sometimes sleep deprived.

DH and I do not tag team, it's all on me at night. He has a very stressful job and goes to sites with dangerous conditions so I don't want him to be tired. He does nights on week-end though or on nights where I've been trying for a long time and can't do it anymore.

DS must have known I wrote about him here as he slept through tonight. I guess we'll see what happens. We're going on holidays so it may mess up all our hard work and we may have to start over but fingers crossed it all goes well.