Sleeping Issues - to continue or not?

[Sammiejane]

Mj has never been the best sleeper.
I think we had about a month of sleeping through (5-6th month) and then it all fell apart.

i briefly (2 days tops) flirted with the CIO ways but very very quickly realised that this was not a method that i was happy with.

Teething (she wears a teething necklace and is worse without it) and sickness (colds) seem to make sleep worse, but i am still holding out for some good sleep and i am at a stage now where i dont know what to do.

we have always had a great pre-sleep routine.
Dinner starts at about 5.30-6pm.
Afetr dinner either quick play or straight in bath.
Bath is with Daddy if he is home or alone (me in the room - she gets too distracted by BB's if i am naked!!)
after bath cream and quiet play time (15mins)
Move into bedroom - music on CD player
Breast feed either to sleep or goes down and i cuddle/pat sing to sleep. Sh is on a toddler bed so i sit down next to her.
she is usually asleep by 7.15-7.45pm but sometimes she wont settle and it blows out to 8.30pm (this is usually a good indicator that we are about to have a bad night)

At around 10.30pm i go to bed, i check on her and make sure that she hasnt kicked her blankets off or is too hot/cold.
(sometimes she has woken before this stage and i have resettled - usually 5-10mins to settle)

DH and i discussed that co-sleeping sat well with us and if she woke in the night we would just get her and bring her in with us - previously she had slept really well once in with us. so when she wakes (anytime frm 1am-5am) we bring her in with us.

Now, however, she come in and insists on headbutting me and lying pretty much on top of me. also can get worked up and insist a drink, not to drink, but to hold (which eventually leaks over the bed ) She fiddgets for at least 30mins and then falls asleep - as soon as i try and move my arm out from under her (when she is snoring) she wakes and it starts again.
She is also needing resettleing in the night with us.
Last night i told her that if she didnt settle that she would fgo back to her room - No No No she said, but settled quicker - but still needed resettling in the night.

I am tired, im working, DH is working loads and loads, we are getting tired and grumpy and have less patience for her.

I dont know what to do.

I am thinking, maybe i should try and get her to sleep back in her bed (but is this too much chopping and changing) so at leastwhen she is alseep we can sleep better
or should we just keep going the way that we are going and eventually she will sleep thru. (WHEN????)

She has her days sleeps in her bed (usually about 2hrs - until she dropped to one sleep he was a terrible day sleeper too) but occasionally will need resettling after first seep cycle.

I guess i am a little u[set that we are at 18mths and i am still not having regular sleep.

Any suggestions please

[RoyaUK]

Hi there, we were in a very similar situation to you up till 1 month ago - same age little girl too. I was completely over it as i'm also pregnant with #3, DH won't get up in the night to resettle and I was a wreck.

For me, I decided to stop feeding to sleep right before she sleeps but move it back to about 6.45 or so after bathtime and before story time. So instead of feeding in the bedroom, i'll BF her in the lounge then she'll have a story with her sister (aged 3) then i'll take her to her bedroom.

I lie down with her but have her tucked in tight and sing twinkle twinkle at which point she would cry/winge for no more than a minute and then i'd say shhhhh shhhhhh until she calmed. I was amazed that the whole thing lasted less than 5 mins before she was quiet enough for me to leave.

It probably took 3 days for her to get the message that she wouldn't get bf right before sleep and amazingly since then she has slept soooooo much better. she was waking 3 -5 times a night before that and from about 2 weeks after the change, she will sleep through 10 hrs every other night or so. When she does wake, i do go in and feed to resettle but it's quick (and always has been!!).

so maybe for my DD boobies were her crutch and she's now figured out she can settle herself more. I also found just keeping her in her bed has worked too as we were doing musical beds too!

I decided to wait until now to really tackle things because DD has had a really hard time teething so i've waited until her teeth are through and it's been a great change for all of us.

I'm glad I did things gently and respectfully for our DD and it has worked for us. Good luck!

[Sammiejane]

Yeah, its the gentle thing that i am most concerned with.
She has become so dependant on my so that she can get to sleep, even in her tddler bed, she has to lie on my arm so that she knows that i am there.
I feel like i have created something that is going to be difficult to fix - well in the way that i want to fix it , with out too many tears.

Maybe bringing the feed forward is a good idea