night weaning: what would you do?

[aimz78]

Hi all!
We are planning to attempt to night wean our DD (almost 17 months) in the next few weeks and want to have a good plan before we implement it.

She is a feed to sleeper which is ok by me except that she seems to rely on it through the night when she wakes through the night to resettle.

I am wondering if it is ok to feed her to sleep for her night sleep and go ahead and try with the night weaning or do we need to tackle the feeding to sleep first before we are able to begin night weaning.

Is it possible to keep feeding to sleep or do we need to teach her to "self settle".
Any advice or thoughts are much appreciated

[bubno.3]

You talking bottle or breast?

If bottle as i can only relate to bottle .... if she settles with a bottle of milk before bed i wouldnt worry and honestly if it is part of her night routine i would stick to it!

My youngest is 14mths old and he self settles with a bottle in his cot and im not even concerned as to when to wean him as i will follow his lead on that one... as as long as it works hey whats the harm. I go and remove it afterwards.

That was probably useless to you lol

[marcellus]

Hi
We cut out night feeds before stopping feeding to sleep, BUT, he didn't feed to sleep at bedtime anyway, only for day sleeps.
If you're planning to stop the feeding to sleep soonish anyway, it might be easier to do both at once. At her age your DD can probably handle feeding to sleep sometimes and settling some other way during the night (especially if you're not around - is that your plan?)
Good luck!

[black_rose]

I can only comment on bottle feeds too, DD1 used to settle to sleep with a bottle and have another one to settle again in the middle of the night. We swapped to water and now she barely touches it.

[aimz78]

Sorry, yes, Im talking about breastfeeding, bub no. 3.

[~Kaz~]

You can try to gradually cut down on the time that you let her feed overnight for. So rather than waiting for her to fall off completely asleep, monitor her sucking a little closer and gently remove her a minute or so earlier. This is a pretty gradual way and might take a while.

Does she have a blankee or cuddly toy that she takes to bed with her? You might need to replace your breast with something she can self settle with overnight.

ETA - If you are ok with feeding her to sleep at other times then maybe leave that alone and just see how you go with weaning her overnight?

[Rahjah]

Um actually I would only do one thing at once, to be gentle. And I'd cut out the feeding to sleep first so that your LO can learn other ways of settling before going through the night weaning ordeal.

Pantley's "No cry sleep solution" is helpful for this - there's also a toddler one too but I haven't read that one.

We did the night weaning thing as DS was waking up and wanting BFs 7 times a night in the end and I was absolutely STUFFED. We used Dr Jay Gordon's site as a guide - it was helpful in helping us devise a plan. We didn't follow his exactly but it really was helpful so I'd recommend googling him.

None of it is an easy, quick process but I found it so worth it in the end! Good luck!

[Liz]

We night weaned long before stopping the feeding to sleep with DS. He was co-sleeping, and I just offered him water and a cuddle instead. He just needed to drape his arm over my neck as we lay together and he played with my hair and went back to sleep.

[Hollo]

i cant remember exactly what we did, but i used Pantleys no cry sleep solution too. it was really practical and i was able to set out a good plan of action.

[Jennifer13]

Until recently, DD still fed to sleep occasionally before bed. We night weaned at about 16-17 mths. I replaced the overnight bfs with a drink of water and told her bbs were asleep. We gave plenty of cuddles and were happy for her to co-sleep, just stopped the bbs. Make sure you wear pyjamas she can't access easily and give plenty of comfort. It only took Lucy a few nights to stop asking and surprisingly there were few complaints. I wouldn't bother stopping bfing to sleep at night-time, for Lucy it was a part of her routine for three years!

[aimz78]

Yay! Thank you all so much for your replies! This is all great info and advice I was getting myself confused with different options
Rahjah, the dr gordon site looks really great, thanks for this!
wish me luck! Lol

[Jennifer13]

GL, hun.

[Marlene]

Am subscribing to this thread as I want to start night weaning soon....VERY soon, lol. I am exhausted!

[RoyaUK]

We managed to stop feeding to sleep 2 weeks ago at 17.5 months. I decided enough was enough and it was amazingly easy. She was waking 4 to 5 times a night at this point.

I brought forward the feed (breastfeed) to about 6pm - after dinner - and let DD2 have as long as she liked then when it was time for bed we did normal kisses and lots of night nights to everyone at around 7.30pm.

Then into the bedroom that was already dark and ready. I put her in bed and tuck her in tight. She then cried (in protest as she was expecting another breastfeed) for about 1 min (felt like longer!) whilst I sang Twinkle Twinkle and then lots of 'shhhhhh shhhhhhhs' whilst her crying subsided. All this time I was close to her with my hand on her and my face close to her. She was fast asleep within 5 mins from getting into bed (including calming down then playing with my face!).

It took her 3 days to get the idea now after 2 weeks she whinges for about 15 - 20 secs then rubs her eyes and off to sleep whilst I do lots of gentle 'shhhhh shhhhhs'.

It's been so successful that her night wakings have reduced to just once at around 4am (from 5 times a night) which i'm still happy to breastfeed at at the moment. ( i think that as she can settle to sleep at 7.30pm without booby it's meant when she stirs around 11pm and 2am she can get herself back to sleep without me anymore!! yippee!)

I've noticed too that she drinks a big cup of water when she wakes at 6.30am so I think DD2 just gets really thirsty in the night - her dad is the same!

And for the first time EVER DH was able to put her to bed by himself tonight whilst i went out to see friends!!!! First time he's done it in 18 months!!

I found being really consistent and gentle worked really well with us and it's meant that DD2 actually sleeps better now too. Good luck!

[Gigi]

i'm still feeding to sleep and feeding in the night too, at 33 months along. So my child is nearly three.

So this means a breastfed on the sofa around bedtime (she either goes to sleep on the breast, or is content to go to bed then), then around 2am, she comes into my room for a night feed. Then she spends the rest of the night in my bed, and when she wakes up, she's keen to go have breakfast with daddy (who sleeps in the living room), usually 5.30 - 6am.

She's been having a nightfeed at least once in the night, since 20 months old. i remember really resenting night feeding around that time, then i read of the extra goodies that night breastmilk has in it, and somehow that changed my mindset about nightfeeding.

she's an only child, and i don't have to get up early the next day, so i'm not saying, what we do, would suit everyone. but it is what works for her right now. I figure, she looks so healthy, i might as well keep going as long as she wants it. (on my good days). other days, i wonder when she'll self wean (bad days).

[Jitterbug]

I don't think it is necessary to stop feeding to sleep in order to night wean. DD goes to sleep in a variety of ways but is usually fed to sleep for her day naps. If she wakes during the night, I will pat her in her cot or rock her if it is required.