Our Sleep Plan - Support and Encouragement needed

[Michelle71]

Don't be so hard on yourself It takes time to see an improvement and sometimes it is a two steps forward and one step back situation. My DS has never slept through (not what you want to hear ) but he has made some huge improvements with the NCSS changes. He even tells me what comes next in the routine There are days when we go backwards and we just start with the basics or go back to the *bad habit* in order for him to get to sleep because sleep deprivation makes it all soooooo much harder.

DD is difficult at the moment. She is having (roughly) 2 naps per day if they are decent or 3 if they are one hour ones. The afternoon is tough because she NEEDS a sleep around 5pm, otherwise she has been up for 4-5 hours by bedtime and that is far too long. She then gets overtired and it takes forever to get her to sleep and to stay asleep. I am also finding that she is waking after the first sleep cycle at night too so I have to go in to her before she wakes up to try to resettle her as she stirs, rather than have her up for another hour or two.

You are doing great. Allow yourself to make adjustments. Give yourself permission to change one little thing at a time rather than everything at once if you think that might help / make it easier to stick to / be less stressful.

With DS, we decided to concentrate on getting the routine sorted before moving onto the other sleep issues and concentrate on his tired signs for setting a bedtime. Amazingly, this routine has also seen a big improvement in his sleeping too. Not every day (I wish!!) but much better than before. Because DD is also in the same routine, she is now rubbing her eyes and is ready for sleep after the bath A no effort outcome!! We still need to sort out the self settling but it will come. Eventually!!

[Heaven]

Thanks so much everyone. Well after I wrote that last post she gave up and went down easily on the next try so was in bed by 9.30pm again. It just seems every night we try for ages and it wakes her up more so then we have to have a break where she's awake for 1/2hr until she gets tired again and we try again. I hope this is ok and she's not just going to get used to doing that.
We had a pretty similar night to the night before after she finally went down. Woke up 2.5hrs later and ended up in bed with us for the rest of the night just bc we kept falling asleep while she was feeding. Really have to try and stay awake!

One positive thing I can say is that for the last month she hasn't actually gone back to sleep feeding like she used to and we have been up in the night rocking sometimes for hours at a time BUT the last 2 nights we haven't had to get out of bed at all!! Not sure if it's related but even if she hasn't been sleeping long b/w wake-ups I am a lot more rested for not having to get out of bed!

And for the last 4 nights I have sometimes heard her wake in the night (and actually wake right up) sometimes if she's next to me even and be kicking around and rolling everywhere and then all of a sudden just roll towards me cuddle up and go to sleep. Now this is bloody amazing. She has NEVER put herself back to sleep! I don't know why she's started this though. Maybe it's the cosleeping? We've only started doing that more regularly in the last couple of weeks as she's had a cold and was miserable and we found she slept better with me. I don't really want to keep cosleeping though bc there's not enough room and DH ends up getting kicked out. I don't know how one little baby can take up so much room!! I like her to start the night in her own cot (which is right next to our bed anyway) bc I like the time to snuggle and talk with DH nd I also don't want to have to go to bed at the same time as her every night! I do enjoy the early morning cuddles though. Maybe tonight I'll sit up and feed her for the first wake-up and put her back in her cot then which means I'll be awake more but then on the next wake-up she can stay in bed with me so I get more sleep. Then gradually as she gets better I can put her back in bed for more and more sleeps iykwim.

Thanks so much everyone for all your support! When I was fed up last night and came and read your response it got me back on track and ready to start again. Exactly what I needed

Michelle- That's what we did too! We actually started the bedtime routine a couple of weeks ago bc we thought it would be better to get her used to it so she knew when sleep was coming and had a better idea of what we wanted her to do iykwim? And actually since we started it she has been easier to get to sleep at night (just not put down!) but now it's harder again bc we're trying to get rid of the rocking, lol.

[MamaPan]

wtg heaven... progress is progress honey!

[Mak]

Yay! Progress! Make sure you celebrate the successes - I often get stuck on the bits that didn't work rather than what DID.... You will be amazed how much easier it is when you have had a bit more sleep. You all deserve a treat today - do something nice for yourselves. Great job Mum!

PS -OT but I have to mention I love your quote, it has helped me no end when I feel like the mess here is engulfing me. I often get caught up in cleaning and making things ordered to my own detriment. Thanks. x

[Toomanytoomany]

Heaven, good for you! And it will take time. And even when it does take time, there'll be times when she's teething and will be up all night again, but *that's okay* because you've given her some tools to get herself back on track again.

Are you breastfeeding? I am asking because you say in your plan that babies at five months old should be able to sleep through the night without feeding. That may be so for some babies, but not so for others, particularly breastfed babies, and night feeding is often necessary for some babies for many, many months. The ideal I guess is that they wake up when they are hungry and go straight back to sleep again. Insisting on sleeping through without a breastfeed might jeopardise your milk supply, particularly when growth spurts are hitting.

[Heaven]

Toomany- Yeah, I am BF. That part is an excerpt from the book. I would love if she slept all night without a feed but that's not going to happen, LOL. I'm cutting it down to 2 feeds though for now and then hopefully only 1 later.

Night 3: Not a great night sleep but something GREAT did happen!!
-firstly rocked to sleep, then realised I hadn't fed the poor thing lol so did what we usually do and fed her when she was sleepy, tried to stop her going to sleep feeding but couldn't so put her in her cot after a feed and amazingly she didn't wake up straight away.
-Woke 1/2hr later at 8.30pm
-DH got up to rock her - 8 attempts at putting her down and her screaming as soon as he even started to lower her in.
-My turn- 4 attempts then on the 5th one I was fed up, put her in and didn't pick her straight back up when she cried, for some reason decided to roll her on her side and pat her bum and she went from screaming to STRAIGHT TO SLEEP!! DH and I were stunned. I know other ppl can get their babies to sleep this way but DD NEVER EVER has!! So finally she's asleep at 10pm.
-10 mins later I hear her wake up, ****! She rolls onto her back kicks her legs a lot, gets her arm out of her wrap, grabs her teddy and rolls over and GOES BACK TO SLEEP ON HER OWN!! DH and I now are in amazement and can't go to sleep
-She then woke at 11.30, had a feed and got put back in bed.
-Woke at 1.30am and rocked back to sleep. Finally back in her cot by 2am.
-Wakes AGAIN at 3 am and I feed her and fall asleep and she stays in bed with us until she wakes at 5.45am.

So, some progress I would say!! Woot!

[rufalina]

You are doing so well!!!
Sensational work by everyone, including DD, with that self settling!
Keep on trucking hun. xoxo

[Heaven]

Well, 7.05pm and she's in bed asleep! Same thing happened, after a gazillion tries we tried again, she cried but then put her on her side and patted and she went to sleep! Good work my baby girl!

[~Leasha~]

GOOD ON YOU!!!!!!!!! YAY! For being asleep!! Hope she gives you a nice long stretch tonight!

We aren't being strict with our routine at the moment, thanks to TEETH teeth and more friggen teeth But last night I got 1.45am to 7.30am!!! We are having midnight parties now, but I'm convinced thats teeth, and we are getting later morning starts, between 6-7.30am at the moment WOOHOO! You will get there too darl

[Toomanytoomany]

That's great Well done to you both

[Michelle71]

Good work girls!!!!!

Heaven - DD did the same thing but when she was put on her tummy Instantly asleep!!! Until she realised what was happening - and now she fights it

Great job though - you should be very proud of your progress!!! As for the feeding - as long as they go straight back to sleep, I can deal with the feeds overnight. It's the wake ups that hurt more

[shellbell3]

Yay! Its funny isn't it. I always found things that never worked before will suddenly work and things that your used to doing suddenly don't work. I found it always matter trying different things til you find what works at that time.

[Heaven]

Thanks guys!!
Leash- I have a suspicion DD might be getting her top teeth soon too. But there's always something so I thought we'd start now anyway.
Michelle- Yeah, when she feeds overnight and goes back to sleep I don't care but I'm not getting up to rock her for hrs every night!!
shell- It is so weird! I can't believe she actually let me pat her to finish going to sleep. Hope she keeps it up!

Night 4:
In bed at 7.05pm after lots of tries and then eventually let me pat her to sleep again, woot!
Woke up at 9 I think, I don't remember, we fell asleep again! bugger. But woke at 12 again and then was up until 3!!!!!! All this time we were trying to put her down. I think the problem is she had a blocked nose and kept waking herself up coz she couldn't breathe Anyway, she then slept til 5.30am.

[Mak]

Good work Heaven! Sounds like you have been in the wars..... Well done!!! x

[Ginger]

heaven- if her nose is blocked you might find a vaporiser next to her bed really helps.

[anna]

I second a vaporiser. Its the best 60 bucks I have spent all winter!

[Heaven]

Thanks guys, I will check them out!!

[marcellus]

Hi Heaven
Sounds like you guys are making great progress, well done!

One thing I was going to suggest is maybe try not analysing every night in great detail. You can drive yourself crazy keeping track of every waking and how long they sleep, especially on nights when you go backwards. Best to stick to 10-day assessments cause you're more likely to see real progress after longer intervals, which helps in keeping up the momentum.

Anyway, things are looking up, hey?