I need help, I need help, please!!!

[Heaven]

It is the same here Your post feels like a glimpse into my future, ****.

[Ginger]

yeah,....i thought that too leash...but somehow they sort it out.
i fed ds1 to sleep for 90% of his sleeps until he was 14 months old.
have you tried lying in bed with her, cuddling her, reading her a story?

[~Leasha~]

She just claws at my boobs and buries her head in my chest and cries

[Dollyroux]

Hi Leash,

I have no answers for you, but I feel for you.

I guess money might be tight for you (isn't everyones money tight? but is it worth contacting someone who is no-cry sleep solution advocate, such as Pinky McKay, and asking ff they can recommend someone in Qld who can do a home visit? You might be able to organise a payment plan or discount or simlair. (Te, he, sleep on a lay-by plan?) Maybe a BB Qld member might be able to recommend someone based in Qld?

I don't know if that's any help, but thought I would throw it out there. I feel for you, and hope you and Jazz can both get some sleep soon. Good luck and be easy on yourself.

[Janie]

Oh Leash, huge hugs, it's very hard. But I can tell you that things get better

Astrid has some great suggestions. She really helped me (as did Christy) when I was looking at my DS's sleep issues. Since finding that DS is intolerant to dairy, soy, and nuts, as well as being sensitive to salicylates and some food colours and preservatives, and subsequently removing those things from his diet, his sleep has improved enormously. I'm not saying that Jazz has all those issues , but just that diet (hers and yours) can have a huge effect on sleep. My DS is by no means the best sleeper in the world, but he is sooooo much better these days. He doesn't fight sleep nearly as much as he used to, and the frequent (and I mean FREQUENT) wakings have subsided. And I didn't need to wean him , we still managed to keep BFing until about a month ago. He would still feed overnight, but only once maybe twice, and not every night. And by about the time he turned two night feeds were fairly infrequent. TBH, his sleep is even better since weaning, but it's not something I would have compromised with until he was two. And I'm very glad I didn't as BFing actually helped us more than hindered us in his second year .

It's a hard road, looking at food senstivity, if it is indeed contributing, but it is sooooo worth it, for all of your sakes. Sue Dengate's site is a great start. Maybe you could think about keeping a food diary, for Jazz and yourself, for the next couple of weeks. And then keep a record of her sleep (or lack of). That might give you some idea where to start. Remember that different foods, or chemicals, process at different rates, the reaction is not always immediate, in fact it often isn't.

Hang in there hun, things will improve. And in the meantime - nana nap!!!!!!

[*becstar*]

Oh just hugs Leash It's SO tough. And sleep deprivation is such a cruel cycle.

Maybe the additives are a good idea to look into? What's your GP like? Maybe a visit to them (although i know it's hard to get taken seriously)? I too never moan IRL about sleep because it's always my fault that he co-sleeps and fed to sleep and is cuddled to sleep etc.

You are doing an AMAZING job. Through all this you've raised a beautiful daughter AND begun your own business, and that's nothing to sniff at!!

xxx

[aimz78]

Leash,
My DD went through a similar stage around this time where she was demanding mummy dummy all night , waking more than a newborn and I was really starting to resent it ,too. It seemed to be a "phase". She is still feeding to sleep and wakes at least once or twice a night, but is slowly improving. I ,too am looking to try and night wean her in the next few months and that helps me to hold out and hope she starts to sleep "through" a bit more then. We are co-sleeping part time. I felt really trapped. I just wanted to offer and say that I hope it gets better soon. We rode it out and things are much better now. We also gradually started to attempt and get her used to other ways of falling asleep without booby for her day nap either in the car or the ergo when we can manage it.

[marcellus]

Originally Posted by ~Leasha~

She just claws at my boobs and buries her head in my chest and cries

DS was the same. Either someone else needs to get her to sleep for a while, or you need to do something different.
With DS I spent about a week standing up holding him (lucky he's not too big), rocking/jigging and singing to get him to sleep during the day (and it sometimes took 30+ minutes). He protested a LOT, so you have to be sure it's what you want to do. I doubt Jazz is going to give up on boobie without a fight. DS was angry and upset, yes, but never truly distressed and I was always there with him offering comfort.
I guess it took a few days to 'break the back' of it, then after about a week I was able to just lie down with him and cuddle to sleep.

It actually sounds horrible when I write down, but I am glad I've done it, cause it used to take 20 minutes sometimes to get him off the boob so he could sleep, whereas now he's fast asleep in 5 minutes.

Anyway, I don't think feeding to sleep is a problem, per se, just another thing to think about.

I'm going to look into this additives thing now too

[jamakin]

oh leasha, it can be so hard when there not sleeping properly and you arnt either.

everyone has given you such wonderful advice, i'm just going to throw a few other ideas out there...
have you thought about going back to wrapping/swaddling then putting Jaz in her cot to help her self settle better?
has she ever had a dummy? a mother in my mothers group introduced a dummy at 7 months for this very reason, i know its just going to create another problem down the track but it could be an option?
Getting her to take her day sleeps somewhere else is a good idea, like the pram or a sling, could help break the cycle.
How is she with her solids? could she eat a bit more during the day to fill her up a bit?
Would you consider trying to put her into a routine? Robin Barker has a good basic one in her book baby love, maybe that could help?

I know my suggestions are totally random, and i'm not sure how you feel about them, just something differant to think about i guess..
i really hope things get better for you, you really sound like you are doing a wonderful job, Jaz is very lucky to have such a good mummy!

[ezymay]

I just wanted to offer hugs. I have no advice, we are experiencing sleeping problems of our own, it's so tough. Try and take care of yourself though.

[boomba]

You are a wonderfull mum never ever doubt that This was us not too long ago hun so if you need to talk just give me a ring! I have no easy fix but i wish i did.

Its hard for me to explain how we did it so if you want to chat you know where to find me xxxx

[Kmn]

We seem to have improved things by feeding almost (rather than completely) to sleep. DS has his big feed in our bed, then we read stories and then I turn out the light and he feeds a bit more. When he slacks off the feeding I roll over - he cuddles in to my back and goes to sleep. If he still wants boob then he pulls my shoulder until I roll over again, but mostly he just wants to snuggle. It took a month to get to this point, and we still have 1 or 2 wakeups most nights, but it's not 2 hourly any more. Usually we plonk him back in his cot once he's asleep - he now lets us do that, whereas at its worst he would be awake and angry the instant we picked him up.
I don't have an answer for that annoying 2 hour middle of the night party though - that still happens sometimes!

You poor thing. xoxo
There has been some great advice.

Something that I learnt in the last couple of weeks....
I have always fed to sleep too. I have been blessed with an excellent sleeper at night, but During the day this was the only time that I could get DS to sleep. I would gingerly carry him to his cot, and gently place him in careful not to disturb him, but then he would wake with really bad wind.....because I wasn't really burping him, this is a bit of a problem with feeding to sleep.

DS goes to creche one day a week, and the other week I went in during lunch as I usually do, and fed him. I then burped him, and handed him back to his carer (my dear friends mother, i really lucky)to put him to bed....and I watched.....

She talked to him gently and told him it was time for bed, she stripped him down to his singlet and nappy, and swaddled him in a sheet, and she put down in his cot facing away from her on his side, so he was looking at the wall, and she tucked his blankets in...and then walked away. He was asleep in 2 minutes flat and slept soundly for 2 hours. He didn't cry or anything, he wiggled for a minute and that was it. Apparantly he does that every day he is at creche....they found that the more they stood there trying to pat him etc, the worse he got and the more worked up he became.

It was then that I realised that he had me wrapped around his little finger....he knew if he cried that I would just get him up and feed him more etc etc, and then the cycle begins.
So I have been putting him down wide awake, and I make sure that all his wind is up.
I face him against the wall, and resist his wiggles and tuck him in. And amazingly off he goes to sleep!! And he has a deeper sleep because he has settled himself. Being consistent has been the key.

He has recently started waking once during the night, and same thing, I feed him, burp him and put him back in wide awake and off he goes.

I also find that if we are out, I do the same in the pram, put him in on his side and he instantly knows it is sleep time, and doesn't bother fighting it too much.

I am not sure if this will be any help, because it seems like you have tried so much, but I am thinking of you. xoxo

[anna]

Oh poor you! I think this thread shows how common it is for babies to wake in the night, but also, how much support you have for whatever you decide to do!

I just wanted to add some things in case it helps you through tonight...

In terms of self settling - it is NOT the be all and end all of sleep solutions (no matter what others will tell you). My DD does self settle BUT she still wakes through the night. The best is once a night, but last night it was 2 hourly. Who knows why, but I just wanted to help you let go of it, if its causing you grief...

I actually found putting her in her own room with the monitor off did help for us. I NEVER leave her to cry - but I don't hear all the little grunts etc which was disturbing all of us. You will be amazed at how quickly you are atending to her every noise, just because she is next to you and you are so used to it. When DD slept in the side car, I used to wake up with her in my arms and not know how she got there. That's when I decided I needed some space.

We still co-sleep on a part-time basis, but DD always goes to bed in her own room, and then comes in if she is having a wakeful night. I think the space, more than anything, has helped us a lot. I feel less suffocated by her...and then when she does come into our bed, DH and I truly LOVE it!

You are doing a great job. Jazz is a beautiful, healthy, happy baby because of the amazing parenting you are doing! Be kind to yourself!

[Liz]

*hugs* Leash. You know I have a frequent waker too.. and kayla still feeds through the night. I am getting a bit tougher and saying no, no more milk. She has a quick cry and lies down and is happy with a hug. Quite sweet really, arms wrapped tightly around my neck!

But Kayla is nearly 2. Back at Jazz's age, if I was trying to night wean or get her self settling, I would have had the same problems I'm sure. I still sit with her (with my laptop!.. my bejewled blitz time LOL) until she goes off to sleep, and I have to wait until she's really tired or it just takes forever.

I night weaned DS at 15 mths, but he still woke through the night until 2 1/2. He fed to sleep for a good 2 years I think and then we moved on to sitting/lying with him, and then he finally self settled and slept through the night at about 2 1/2 (it does happen eventually!!) But we did manage to stop the feeding through the night by just offering water & cuddles.

The only thing I can suggest is if she's waking to play between 11 & 2am, move the bedtime. Put her to bed at 9 or 10pm when she's absolutely had it. Both my kids had late bedtimes for a long time. It's only recently that Kayla is going to bed around 7.30/8pm (we've dropped to 1 day sleep) If she fell asleep around dinner time, she was up and about by 9pm as well until late. So we just accepted that she went to bed later.

Big hugs again. Hope you can catch up on some zz's soon.