Hit the wall....how do I get out!?

[BabyMama]

I've had a hell of a few weeks. The nights have been so up and down. One night DS would wake every 2 hours, another night he'd wake and not go back to sleep for hours, and then another night he slept all night (for the first time). I feel like I roll the dice every night I put DS to bed.

Emotionally I feel wrecked and today I really hit a wall. I started to question my "gentle" parenting choice and wonder if my choices created this non-sleeping, unpredictable monster! I was almost ready to just let him CIO.

Then I read a post asking what gentle parenting meant. I read all the responses and started thinking about my perspective. It really reinforced the long-term benefits of my choice but I'm still struggling with the short-term challenges - mainly the lack of sleep. I know DS may not necessarily sleep even if I'd chosen a different parenting style anyway but I guess we'll never know. The sleep deprivation is really getting to me - it's been over a year after all!

Now I'm blabbering (sorry ) - so what works for you when you hit that wall?

[Lady Zaidie]

Remembering my childhood. Crying myself to sleep. If I didn't eat dinner, it was served up for breakfast and lunch the next day. "Because I said so." Do this. Don't do that. "You let me down, I'm so disappointed" that a small child (under the age of 7) couldn't behave as an adult, or mentioned she was thirsty, or didn't want to stop playing.

Every time I'm ready to give up, I think of how I felt back then. And know I couldn't do that to my DS.

BTW, those are my son's sleep patterns when he gets a new tooth. I'm REALLY over it but thankfully his last tooth is now through so sleeping should be back to 0-1 wake-up a night by the end of the week: we had 2 last night, but he's used to being up all night now. When you realise there's a physical reason for the behaviour it's great; that really, really helps me!

DS slept through for the first time age 15-16m-ish, so your lad has beaten mine! Oh, aside from the one week old time, but he was tube-fed all through the night so that doesn't really count.

[sneakysparkle]

Originally Posted by BabyMama

Now I'm blabbering (sorry ) - so what works for you when you hit that wall?

prayer!!!

a friend of mine used to play "whats the worst that can happen" and think 'well, I might just be awake for the next 5 hrs, ok, I can deal with that'

its really hard being sleep deprived... I dont have any advice - but hang in there, sounds like youre doing a great job with your lil man.

[aimz78]

Babymama, I can really relate to your post, our bubs are similar in age and seem to be doing a similar thing. I am amazed that since my DD has turned one her sleeping and eating have both been sporadic and unpredictable, she seems to have been either sick or teething the entire time since she's turned one, she has also learned to walk which probably mixes things up, too. You start to wonder will it ever get better (my DDs sleeping has really gone downhill) and you question your methods. I also learned that two of the most "gentle" parents in my mothers group have turned to controlled crying and claim that it has worked. I just wanted to offer some comiserations and say that you are not alone. Thanks for your post, it helps reinforce my gentle beliefs. I saw an oprah show this week which illustrated just how much we are impacting the brain development etc of our little ones, its easy to lose sight of the big picture when you are so sleep deprived. It will get better x

[BabyMama]

Thanks for all your kinds words. I know things will get better eventually and I know that my choices are right for our family. It's just hard during those times when I'm so tired and just need the sleep.

Rosehip - I also had some less than gentle parenting in my childhood (albeit with a wicked step-mother later in my childhood). It's a great idea to remind myself of what I want for my child and what I don't want for him.

Sneaky - I'm onto the prayer tip - helps to calm me and bub!

Aimz - thanks! It's so good to know I'm not alone and that other bubs are doing the same thing. The inconsistency is almost worst than just having bad nights every night! I know they'll get there eventually tho.

xxx