Help Me!!

[CalebsMum4Eva]

Seven is 9 months old. We have co-slept with her since the day she was born and it has worked for us.
My situation is this: Seven WILL NOT sleep during the day. She wakes 3-4 times per night for a feed, which never used to bother me, but now I am so exhausted I am finding myself getting angry about the situation.
Seven can be awake from 8.30am to 8.30pm. She sleeps well at night, but wakes frequently.
We have a night time routine, and getting her to sleep at night is not normally a big issue, it only takes about 10-15mins.
We have tried Seven in her cot - no go.
I 'wear' her to sleep but the most she will sleep during the day is 40 mins. She has NEVER slept longer than this.
I find that I am getting angrier and angrier at this little person who is taking so much out of me.
I don't want to give up BF but I just don't know what to do!
I have lost a lot of weight, whether it is because of BF, lack of sleep or just me or all of the above, I just don't have the energy to do this much longer.

All she does all day is cry. She doesn't whinge, she screams. And it doesn't stop.

I love my daughter, I am just so tired.

I need help....

[Ginger]

um...ok...
what happens if you lie in the bed with her and pretend to go to sleep and then sneak out once she is asleep. does that work?

[CalebsMum4Eva]

Rainforest ~ She will lay there playing with my face for a little while, depending on how happy she was when we layed down. The she will start arching her back and grizzling. Then if we don't get up she will start to cry, then start to scream and thrash around.
*sigh*
I read somewhere to try that and have tried numerous times to no avail. It just seems that if Seven doesn't want to sleep, no amount of coaxing is going to make her.

[Ginger]

ok....what type of carrier do you wear her in? one that you can transfer her to a bed in once she's asleep? or do you keep her in the carrier until she wakes up?

[CalebsMum4Eva]

We have 2 carriers. A peanut shell, which I use mostly for the shops now, and a hug-a-bub. We both love the HAB and I can get her out of that easy enough to transfer her into bed once she is asleep.
Majority of the time I try to get her into bed once she is asleep but have on occasion left her in the sling if I am having a particularly hard day.

[Lady-bug]

I'm sure you've tried this but does she feed to sleep at all?

[CalebsMum4Eva]

Occasionally. She used to do it all the time when she was a little little baby, but now she eats, and doesn't normally go to sleep while feeding unless we are in bed at night.

[catherinemoses]

You poor thing.
This sounds just awful.
Is it possible that she has an allergy and it is making her feel really bad? Has she always not slept during the day? Has she always been a screamer (there is nothing worse than a screaming child...it makes me angry too). It may be worthwhile trying an elimination diet to see if there is somehing upsetting her system. It sounds a bit like she is in pain with the thrashing and screaming etc.
I don't really have any other advice, I have always had a little nap time routine for Flynn and we generally don't have any problems.
I hope you figure it out soon, you really need a break

[thepixie]

Kel babe, I know how frustrating it is to have sleep problems... you desperately want help but no-one seems to know how to resolve it or IRL people just tell you to CC/CIO cause it worked for them, or "they've got to learn".
So you said she might sleep up to 40 mins.... does she not nap at all most days or does she sometimes have short naps during the day? would she have just one or more? Does she tend to sleep in the car? the pram? Or only the sling?

[anna]

Aw hun, firstly It sounds exhausting for you!

When she wakes in the night, will she settle any other way besides the boob? I found the night a good way to experiment with other ways of settling DD. She is in a side-car arrangement, so I can respond as soon as she wakes and "shhhh" or hum and stroke her until she is back asleep. Once I discovered this, I found I could use it in the day also to help her settle. I also introduced a comforter (toy) for her to suck on. I put it in her hand as I am putting on her sleeping bag, and it seems to work really well.

Otherwise could you wear her in the sling until she is drowsy and then transfer to her bed (that way she is falling asleep in the same place as she will wake up)??

Some babies just seem to be catnappers, but it must be so, so tiring!!

[CalebsMum4Eva]

Thanks all for your support and ideas.

She has the last few days had a nap during the day, which is making it easier on me, but I am still having to wake to her many times per night.
We are now starting the night off in her pull out couch by our bed and she is happy there. Her first feed of the night a couple hours after she goes to bed, I sit up and feed her then she goes back down to the pull out couch.
Then she wakes every hour or so and this is just silly, so she comes back into bed with me.
I think I am just going to have to stick it out and refuse to feed her one of her night feeds and just settle her by cuddling and hopefully she will stop waking for that feed.

Will let you all know how it goes!

[CalebsMum4Eva]

Hi all.
Well, I find myself back here with no real improvement in the sleeping situation to speak of. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. If anything, the sleeping (or lack of it) situation has become worse.
Seven STILL wakes 1-2hrly overnight, occasionally wanting the boobies, sometimes not. She is so difficult to settle, and she SCREAMS the house down.
To make things more complicated, I now work at night, from home a few days per week, but due to her constant night waking, DH is having to deal with it, and unfortunately he doesn't actually 'deal' very well.
I am starting to think that Seven might actually have a sleep disorder! Has anyone heard of this in a baby as young as 12 months? I can't see any other explanataion, because we have tried EVERYTHING, and I mean everything!
The whole thing is really putting a strain on our family life and I am starting to resent a little more each day, how much this little person is taking out of me.

I know no one has a magical cure, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

[Nicambhar]

Oh no Kell, sorry I don't have any advice. Just wanted to give you a huge cyber hug. xx

[Kmn]

What happens if you feed her hourly for the 3-4 hours before bed? It might buy you a longer stretch before the waking starts.
In a similar vein, the "no cry sleep solution" book has a list of foods that are high in tryptophan and hence promote sleepiness. Avocado, yoghurt and turkey are ones I remember - but it was a longish list.
Big hugs from me too!
Was just thinking - 90 minutes is a typical sleep cycle (ie. most people wake up every 90 minutes and then go back to sleep without effort). If Seven is waking up 90-minutely that suggests that she can't go to sleep without your help. There's a couple of threads of people with this problem - i'll try and find them.

OMG... she put herself to sleep! Without one single tear!!!! is pretty close

[olive]

have you had her allergy tested at all????
reason i ask is a friend had huge issues with her baby (albeit a younger baby) and it turned out she had allergies to mums breastmilk and then some foods, she had to keep her off anything with salilytes (sp) in them (and i believe other foods), she noticed a huge improvement with bubs sleeping etc..

[cheekyfrog]

Big hugs, Kell. You've got a lot on your plate at the moment. Jo, from our baby buddies group, went with her baby Xavier to a sleep school/centre in Brisbane and got some really good results. Maybe you could talk to her? Would there be a sleep school near where you are?

[(B)engeltje]

Hi Kell,

Big hugs, I know how you feel. DS was a napper during the day too! Before he was 1, I believe even at the age of 9 months, I just put him down for an afternoon nap, instead of 2 naps most babies have at that age (i think).
Even then, he would only sleep for like 30 min-1 hour.
Eventually, as soon as he could walk and climb etc he would sleep better! He is now 18 months and for at least 2 months he sleeps for 2 hours during the day and sleeps through the night.
He is terrible at going to sleep tho. Reckons it is a waste of time!
What helps with him is a very strict routine. But even then

I hear you on being so tired. I pray for you that she will find a good sleep routine. What got me through was taking the day 5 min at the time. Trying not to worry about the next sleep/night.
She might response to your anxiety about that too.
And no one will hate you for giving her an occasional bottle before bed, if that makes her tummy that much fuller.

Good luck!