ah Nay Nay I hear ya... I have been on a dairy free diet for 6 weeks now to help with Jovie's reflux issues. I have some fantastic information about it. Basically I know my older daughter has issues with milk (whole milk - not cooked) so generally that could mean an issue with a protein in the milk.
So in December I went off all milk products but used A2 milk which has altered the protein which can cause problems. That didn't help, so on the 30th December I went off all dairy products. I have trialled goats milk cheese & that went fine, then I trialled some soy milk & she reacted severely to that. I am also battling with breast refusal, so she will go off the bb's for a day or two and sometimes I can't express enough milk, so I use probably around 4 bottles of goats milk formula a week as well & she seems fine with that.
I have seen a lactation consultant who has done some research on cows milk. Its very confusing with the lactose intolerance and cows milk intolerance. Basically its a process of elimination if you want to go through that. I don't so I just shy away from all cows milk products.
Have a google for a site called milksucks and you should find some information (although obviously biased against cows milk...). There is alot of information out there, if you want some more info contact me
christy7@bellybelly.com.au