Redlady - I'm new to this donor stuff and will be using my cuz's eggs so can't help you on the sperm side of things. I've heard of sucessful home insem though - so I hope it works for you too.
About telling any resulting DC children - well there has been a lot of research done and they say that it is better for the child to know early on in life. Secrets are no good for any body in the long run. There is a recommended book called "Sometimes it takes 3 to make a baby" to help with explaining.
I think in the end it's about letting the child know how special they are and how hard we tried to get them.
I'm still going through the feelings of failure which is probably why your
dh wants to keep it a secret. But in the end we have to push our pride aside if we desire to fulfill our dream of having a family.
Joy - Congrats on 3 weeks to go! How exciting! Thanks for the welcome. Looking forward to getting to your stage asap!
Me - We booked our trip to Phuket yesterday. So it's all set. Sun baking, cocktails, white water rafting, elephant treks, and lots of shopping...here we come!