[skeetaboat]

Hi all, I have posted this over in the breastfeeding forum but not much response there...


I have recently fully weaned my toddler. Every couple of days he still asks for a feed, particularly at nap time, bed time or first thing in the morning.

He's now a nightmare to get to sleep, both for naps and at bed time. He'll stay up until 11:30 - midnight, until finally he's so exhausted he gives up and goes to sleep.

We have a bed time routine - it's supposed to be bath, books, bed (it used to be bath, books, boob, bed). However, it just doesn't work. He prefers bath, books, play for another 2 or 3 hours, bed.

He hates going to bed while anyone else is still awake. So we've started turning everything off and going to bed ourselves at 9:30pm (which is the time we'd like him to go to bed). He hates this and screams and screams. Last night he fought and screamed for 2 hours and eventually went to sleep sobbing at 11:45pm.

I think part of the problem is that he's growing out of his nap. It's been getting later and later (used to be 11am - 12:30 or 1pmish, now it's more like 2pm - 4pm). I try to get him down earlier but because I've stopped feeding to sleep, I can't get him down most days until he's ready. Even then it's a struggle. I've also tried waking him up early (only letting him sleep for 45mins or an hour instead of two hours), but he wakes up grumpy as hell and is a nightmare for about 2 hours until he wakes up properly again. THis is what we did yesterday and it certainly didn't get him to bed earlier (11:45pm last night). I've also tried not letting him have a nap at all but by 6pm he's exhausted, difficult, crying, and won't let me put him down at all. He's too exhausted to eat and ends ups going to bed without dinner so I'm not sure that this is a good solution.

He has never gone to bed early (always about 9-9:30 pm), which is fine for our routine. If he could go to bed at 9-9:30 again that would be perfect.

He can settle himself to sleep. When he spends time with other people (daycare, grandparents, etc) he goes down for a nap very easily. Simply gets in bed and falls asleep. With me, I go to bed with him and lie next to him until he falls asleep, except that's not really working (he just gets up again).

He sleeps on a mattress on the floor in his own room. He's 24 months old. He full-time co-slept until about 14 months and part-time co-slept until I night weaned him at about 21 months, when he started sleeping through the night in his own bed.I stopped feeding him to sleep about 2 or 3 weeks ago. He still asks for milk at nap and bedtime sometimes, so I wouldn't say he's fully weaned *just* yet. I'm 6 months pregnant and don't want to tandem feed. I don't believe in cry-it-out methods and would never do cry-it-out.

So... what do I do?? We (both me and his dad) are tearing our hair out. We can't afford to be up until midnight every night.

Should we just persevere with everyone-going-to-bed-at-9:30pm thing and wait 'til he eventually just 'gets it' that this is bed time and there's nothing else to do but go to sleep? How long will it take for him to get it??

Is there something I can put in the bath like lavendar oil that will make him sleepy?

Should I just stop worrying about it and let it sort itself out naturally as he stops having naps and starts going to bed earlier?? If I do this, how long does it take to 'grow out' of naps?

Has anyone else experienced problems in going to bed when their toddler starts taking late naps? How did you handle it?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences, especially from anyone who has weaned their toddler and then had trouble getting them to go down to sleep.

Sorry for such a long post. Thanks heaps to anyone who responds.