My story begins with a
DD conceived the fun, old fashioned way
lol, but even then it was a couple of years of no protection, but not trying either. When
DD was 1 we would sometimes decide to use some protection, other times not. When she was about 2,(2001/2002) we pretty much weren't using any. We just kept trying. I wasn't too worried about what was or wasn't happening, was just going with the flow.. we weren't charting or anything else at the time either.
People around us kept announcing pregnancies but I thought it would be our turn soon enough... fast forward to 2006. We went interstate for a wedding and holiday. I was feeling a little unwell, but put it down to all the car travel. I remember getting ready to go to the wedding and found that
AF had arrived! she was early
DH had joked a couple of days before that I was pregnant, and I had secretly hoped he was right, but here she was.. so I went to the wedding to drink. I had 2 drinks before going to the loo to find that
AF had stopped! I thought, whats going on here? and immediately stopped drinking. A few days later I did a HPT. I couldn't tell if it was a +ve or not? It looked like the faintest of faint lines, so I decided to do another one in a couple of days time.
The next night,
AF arrived. She was very painful and very heavy... I remember being in the shower -warning TMI ahead - and hearing the clots hit the tiles...I wondered if I had been pregnant and was miscarrying?? It is something I will wonder about forever, though deep down, I suspect it was (my chart had been looking quite good that month) I've never wrote about it here on BB.. I had no confirmation, so I felt like I shouldn't be wondering aloud about it.
The rest of the car trip home was horrible. we had to stop every half hour so I could change a pad.
Christmas 2006, driving home
DH and I were chatting and he mentioned that he thought we should see someone. I told him I wasn't too fussed if we did or didn't, we already had a beautiful girl. I said if we weren't pregnant or actively doing something more, towards being pregnant by christmas the following year, then that would be it, no more..I couldn't handle anymore of the temping and charting and hearing about other people's pregnancies. I had to let it go from my life completely.
In the first few months of 2007, we saw a GP. I already had a referral that was over 2 years old to see a FS. I took this referral to a new GP, and asked for a new one. She was lovely, and sent us off for initial testing.
DH's first SA had to be repeated, but it came back fine the second time round. We had to travel to other towns to have the SA done, and this was to be the first of many kilometre we would do that year.
We finally got into see our FS. A weird little fellow, he had been described to me as being abrupt.
DH and I agreed we would meet him and see if we liked him or not. Luckily we did. He didn't hold back, and didn't stuff around. He checked my charts and said he could see I was ovulating, my tests were fine,
DH sperm was great so he booked me in for a lap to be done 2 weeks away from then. I tried to get out of it, but I think he sensed it, and told me he was booking me in, and I could check
DH's roster and change it if I needed when I got home.
2 weeks later, we rocked up at the hospital for my lap. Late that arvo, the FS came round to tell us what had happened. He asked how many op's I had had, as i only listed one on the admission forms and I looked like I had quite a few op's as there was really bad scarring. he didn't believe me when I told him only 1 op, and he asked my mum if I had any as a child. So I had lots of scarring, and endo. He explained the endo wasn't typical chocolate cysts endo, it was the white stuff, but not just patches of it like it usually is, it was a sheet of it. He didn't touch it as he wasn't sure how thick or thin or was and he didn't want to do any damage to would hurt our chances of TTC.
We made a follow up appointment with him for a week or so later on. The plan was to start on Synarel. I had to be on it for 3 months before I could go back to see him and start our IVF drugs. What a very long 3 months it was too.. I was quite a horrid emotional, nasty, mess of a person.
We did a few trips back and forth. We had to travel 200k's to pick up my synarel! One way! We had our first appointment, got our drugs and drove all the way home...I was so scared of so many things at that point, and I blurted out to
DH that I didn't want to do the IVF, which upset him and caused a little tiff on our drive home.
We had to do the same trip for our scans as well. I had a scan, and was told to do another couple of days of injecting and come back for another scan. I did injections for a total 7 days, had a second scan (Friday) and was told that EPU would be happening on the Monday morning. We drove home 200k's, packed our bags, dropped
DD at the IL's so she could still attend school, and left he next morning for our 1000k journey. We stopped at a motel the night that we had to do our trigger. 1.45 am it was to be done! I don't think
DH and I went back to sleep for a few hours after it was done. I remember hoping that
DH didn't break the vials we he cracked them open, as we were no where near any clinics or even a hospital if he did! Luckily he didn't!
We booked into our motel the next day. I'd had 3 months to surf the net and work out the best place to stay that was close by the hospital. It was right around the corner. I called our FS that was doing EPU and we hadn't even met yet. We had a chat and he told me all the details for the next day.
I went into EPU being told there were 14 follicles. When I came out I was told we had 15 eggs from 15 follicles, but they were fairly small. Phone call to the FS the following day, gave us the news of 11 fertlised! Transfer the following afternoon. That day I started feeling unwell. The nurses explained that I was at risk of developing a very slight case of OHSS with the number we had collected. When
DH saw how bloated I had become, he was shocked. even more so when I had a red face and was feeling hot to touch.
DH wanted me to ring the FS to tell him my symptoms! No way was I doing that. I had come too far, and I was super scared he would delay transfer. I drank heaps of water and sustagen and felt better that arvo and even went out shopping!
When we arrived for transfer, we were told that overnight, 1 of the embies had developed abnormally, and one had just stopped growing for some reason, so we were down to 9. 1 put back and the remaining 8 are now in snowbub storage.
Luckily we got a BFP from our first cycle! The amount of travelling we did was draining. but we did it, and now I have a beautiful little boy, and can still hardly believe that this little person is in our lives! He didn't sleep well at the start (and still doesn't) and I felt a little guilt because we had tried so hard to have him, yet he wouldn't let up and I was resenting him a little for it.
I will never forget that moment that
DH put our
DS in my arms and i had tears in my eyes...he was so worth the wait and the tears and pain and anger and even the synarel sniffing
lol! but i guess I can say that now that I'm not sniffing it hey
Sorry for the extra long post.....just nice to share with others
Nic